Bog Witch Asexual

My mother is so hardcore fundamentalist Catholic that she adamantly denies anything that portrays the history of the church in a less than positive light. She refused to believe that the Corpse Trial of Pope Boniface VI happened until we literally looked up the oil painting of the event and showed it to her

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.

Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.

okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?

This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.

could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this

What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?

can he be in a wheelbarrow?

What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?

What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

European swallows or African swallows?

This is like a round of cards against humanity

awkward when you have a ship full of gay pirates encountering a puzzle with a heteronormative answer.

See I want to know Ragetti’s backstory because of lines like these. I wonder how a man who seems to have been a philosophy student ended up a pirate who plays down his book learning and tells Pintel he can’t read – or was his father the student, and as a boy he picked up big words like ‘dichotomy’ but couldn’t sign his name to save his life? The Ragetti who Barbossa chose as guardian of one of the Nine Pieces of Eight, who is perhaps more consistently loyal to Pintel than Will is to Elizabeth, who casually analyzes a three-way fight between pirates like someone who’s studied Shakespeare, who at one point speaks more gently and honestly to the goddess of the ocean than any other character (“you’re not saying it right, you have to say it right.”), whose first reaction to a ship capsizing is ‘tie ourselves to the mast upside down’ and who sailed to Davy Jones’ Locker just to see Jack again… what is his story?

Yeah, no, see, that’s actually a pretty damn good explanation.

white skrek make me lose control

i went to the cooking competition and all of the chefs kept yelling “cast iron pan” but i dont even know how to use that damn spell yet im not a high enough level

i think humanity’s love affair with the sea is perhaps the sexiest thing about us