Just hanging about here, daydreaming

The reply is immediate and loud, "Shaaane," he croons and, oh, okay, Ilya is drunk. Shane takes a moment to try and get his breathing under control. Ilya is not bleeding out in an alley somewhere in Boston, he's just drunk. He's so focused on regulating his breathing that he almost misses Ilya's next words, "I need to see her, cолнышко, I miss her so much." And, okay, what? Is Ilya calling him to talk about some fucking woman? Exactly how drunk is his boyfriend?

"What?" he asks, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to keep his cool even as he struggles to wake up properly.

But Ilya just whines into the phone, "you need to send pictures so that I can see her."

"Ilya, I don't know who the fuck you're talking about," he says, a bit exasperated and more than a little annoyed about being woken up for this conversation, now that the panic has abated.

"Your pretty little hole, моя любовь, I need to see her so bad."

It takes a moment for the words to register and when they do he doesn't know whether to be annoyed about being woken up for this, angry about the personification and apparent feminisation of his asshole, or flattered that this is what Ilya is thinking about in this state. Without much thought the words, "my hole is sleeping right now," tumble from his lips.

"Nooooo," Ilya wails, "I have not seen her for so long, I know she misses me too."

He’s a high level athlete with an unstable home life who actually cares whether his partner is having a good time. He is extremely sensitive to the signals other people are putting out and he is paying attention. And he’s built a career on some level on being willing and able to repeat a motion over and over until he’s told it’s right and then replicate that consistently. That probably translates pretty well to sex. So Ilya probably has a solid, well-earned reputation as a good sexual partner, but he’s not naturally gifted or super experienced when he first hooks up with Shane.

“I know, Малыш. I promise, last one.” (baby)

“You said that about the last two.”

“I am a greedy man. You know this. Just one more, I promise.”

Shane sighed and rolled onto his back. “Fine, one more, but this is seriously the last one. I’m exhausted, Ilya.”

Ilya leaned down, pressing a kiss to Shane’s forehead. “Спасибо, Любовь моя.” (thank you, my love)

“Let me see.”

With a pleased grin, Ilya held his phone in front of Shane’s face. He waited patiently as Shane pulled his glasses down from the top of his head and squinted at the screen.

Shane’s eyes trailed across the screen for a quiet minute, before he lifted his finger to point. “You can play squeeze with this e. There’s a double word tile too.”

Ilya’s eyes lit up, stealing a kiss from Shane before he started to place the tiles. “You are genius. I love you. I am finally beating Yuna!”

Shane: Ilya, we are not getting old billboard vinyl sent to our home! *in Russian* And stop talking to my mother about you wanting big photos of me in boxers and a tank top! It's weird!

Ilya: You are so right, moya lyubov. New is much better. Yuna, can we put a condition in Shane's modelling contracts that they make extra copy of billboard for "quality control" and send it to our home?

"So," Yuna said a little stiffly, obviously struggling to land on a neutral topic of conversation as they sat around the table. "How have you been enjoying the cottage, R–Ilya? What've you and Shane been getting up to?"

It was a testament to both of their desires to make a good impression that neither of them so much as smirked at the other...though Shane cleared his throat rather loudly. "Uh..." Ilya nodded, swallowing his mouthful of pasta. "Yes, is very nice. Shane gave me tour. He showed me indoor rink, told me about well, all of these things. Very...impressive."

Shane kicked Ilya's leg under the table, suppressing a smile.

"Did he take you out on the lake yet?" David asked conversationally, loading a second helping of pasta onto his plate. "The weather's been great, perfect to get the kayaks out."

Ilya looked over to Shane, unsure about the word 'kayak.' "Um, no, not yet. Maybe we will do this soon."

Furrowing his eyebrows, David looked to Yuna, then back at Shane and Ilya. "Wait, how long have you been here?" he questioned, sounding a bit confused now.

Shane, who had yet to take a bite, sighed. "Like a week, Dad. Why?"

"Because usually you're out on the lake the second you get out here! What else have you two been doing for a whole week?" he asked bemusedly, eyes wide and ridiculously innocent.

Immediately, both Yuna and Ilya spoke at once.

"I think is time for another drink, yes?" Ilya said, reaching for the vodka.

"I'm going to get the dessert!" Yuna announced quickly, at the same time.

He just widens his eyes, makes them a bit glassy and Ilya folds like a damn chair.

After a while Ilya figures out what he’s doing and screws his eyes shut to avoid looking at Shane.

Ilya: no Shane no I know what you’re doing, put your eyes away. You will not use your wicked spells on me today

Shane: Ilya will you just look at me please

A blanket on sale that she knows is a texture Shane will like, sesame mochi — the only dessert Shane will eat — David’s favourite brand of chocolate covered almonds (Meiji, obviously).

And when Ilya joins their family it takes a while, but Yuna notices that he always reaches for the dried mangoes when there’s a bag open, and he eats the Miss Vickies sweet and spicy ketchup chips by the handful.

So it makes sense to her that she would pick these things up when she sees them at the store and make sure her pantry is stocked for all her boys.

Ilya only finds out when they’re over at his parents on a movie night, and Shane, rummaging around the pantry for snacks groans “at this point, you have more of Ilya’s stuff than you do mine,”

“My stuff?” He asks, completely befuddled.

“Yeah, like the ketchup chips and the dried mangoes. Your snacks take up the whole pantry.”

“My snacks,” Ilya says again flatly, still not understanding. “But you all eat these.”

“I mean sure,” Shane agrees, “but my mom buys them for you. Because you like them.”

“This is true?” Ilya turns to Yuna with wide eyes.

And Yuna smiles softly at him, maybe a little sheepishly at being called out so blatantly, and shrugs.

“I mean, yes, honey. I thought you liked those snacks?”

And Ilya gets all teary and reassures her that he loves these snacks. He’s obsessed with these snacks. They are his favourite snacks.

And he starts noticing how anytime he shows interest in something, it will start showing up regularly at the Hollander household—snacks, candy, that specific Japanese soda Ilya likes with the marble.

Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?

And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.

Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?

And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.