it was the time of the creature

if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.

This is now officially a Slavic humor blog

i just think its messed up that couch sleepy never directly translates to bed sleepy

i’m a nice girl i deserve weapons

worst book format has to be the 1000+ membrane-thin pages big flaccid paperback. the size of a hefty harcover but soft instead and droops downwards like this sad wilting thing no matter how you hold it. impossible to comfortably hold in one hand because it's so droopy and always just heavy enough to be kinda annoying to hold for too long. awful

it's hot enough to fly an egg out there

When you’ve been cooking for long enough, you stop making recipes and start making “shit in a skillet” and “whatever soup”

galadriel voice "things that were once $5 are now $20"