Fraud

I mean friends… when we talk about top tier ships. This is why…

“this character did not act in the most objectively logical way possible!” is not ! actually valid literary criticism

Vampire!phil with human!neopolitan trio as his children and all the other vampire covens think he’s keeping around weak humans because they’re cute or they’re the equivalent of pets or something but each one of them are actually insanely lethal for a human and its a blessing to the world that they DONT have vampire abilities as well

The particular vibe of all of them being very indifferent or hostile upon any first meeting because they know most other vampires will see them as only harmless humans and will think that decent reason enough to mess with them so they have to make that first impression really STICK.

Techno will stab first and ask questions later, Wilbur will set fire to anything in the vicinity on a whim, and Tommy can, will and HAS bitten off people’s fingers before. And he’ll do it again

Vampire!phil with human!neopolitan trio as his children and all the other vampire covens think he’s keeping around weak humans because they’re cute or they’re the equivalent of pets or something but each one of them are actually insanely lethal for a human and its a blessing to the world that they DONT have vampire abilities as well

The particular vibe of all of them being very indifferent or hostile upon any first meeting because they know most other vampires will see them as only harmless humans and will think that decent reason enough to mess with them so they have to make that first impression really STICK.

Techno will stab first and ask questions later, Wilbur will set fire to anything in the vicinity on a whim, and Tommy can, will and HAS bitten off people’s fingers before. And he’ll do it again

And they do it all with the unfaltering confidence of Phil not ever getting them in trouble because every single time Phil will be like “well why were you approaching my children like that.“ The three of them could be committing a murder in plain moonlight and phil will be like “ah! Good enrichment!”