were it not that i have bad dreams

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

at the club no drinks.in.fully stone cold sober: what if thsre was a secret city

Face twists with bravery as a chill runs through the air We have to find it.

We have to find it

i bite you?

i bite you?

i bite you?

i bite you?

i b. actually that looks pretty bad. i put a bandages on it

I Always Smiled Darkly When I Saw The Thieves Attack The Palace

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

Random tumblr blog roleplays as a philosopher. Shocks the masses by using big words just to say they think theyre better than you because you watch movies. WHHAAAAT?

thats right

the biggest word in this post is “entertained”

Today my professor picked up a garter snake, said “Ow!” five times as it bit him, set it back down, and said, “Okay. That’s one defense mechanism snakes have.”

Up late singing and microwaving loud as fuck

Moved out so I could be loud! But now I have a husband that I love so so much I refuse to wake him up with loud even if i really really want to.

Im going to come to your house and wake your stupid ass husband up

a father and son get into a car crash. the father dies, and the son is severely injured. the son is taken to the hospital for surgery, but the surgeon says "I can't operate on this patient. I'm still in shock after the death of my husband mere hours ago!". how is this possible?

"you'll pay for this" - me as a cashier

tshirt that says objects in tshirt are exactly as far away as they appear