lillypad crafts

Because under the post about giving minors the right to medically consent, people are spreading a ton of misinformation on this - largely because they just do not question the stuff they just assume are "normal". Which here is: "kids are all afraid of needles and therefore if we let them consent or not to medical proceedures, they would just not consent and not get vaccinations, because needles hurt".

And, look. Here is the thing: no, needles do not actually hurt a whole lot. And while, yes, certain procedures that involve being stabbed by a needle hurt more if you are younger for a bunch of reasons... that is actually not the main reason children fear needles. Because, again: the pain is not that bad. And most kids, especially young kids, whose motor skills are still developing, usually will have a bunch more hurting scratches, bruises and the like at any given moment than there will be pain from the needle.

No, from what research can tell, the main reason kids are afraid of needles, is more that for many of them needle procedures are very traumatizing. And that is largely because of the consent issue.

Imagine you are a person who is still pretty darn new to that whole human thing. So for one, yes, your brain is actually not that great in understanding what pain is dangerous and what pain is a safe limit of pain. So yes, someone intentionally hurting you (like with a needle) is really kinda scary. But then there is also the thing where this person hurting you is not telling you why they are doing. The people who you normally trust with keeping you safe (your family) is betraying you, by just holding you down and scolding you for crying over it. Or maybe it is not your family, but some strange nurse who is holding you. And while you are scared, because someone is intentionally hurting you, while someone else is restricting you, the adults around you are telling you, that your emotional reaction to this is actually bad and you are wrong for reacting that way. They might in fact lie to you and tell you that something that is insanely scary to you is "not that bad", instead of just understanding that it is super scary to you. And that is then what you start to expect whenever you see a doctor prepare a needle: people holding you down, hurting you without reason, and telling you that you are wrong for being upset, actively gaslighting you.

We have research on this. And this research is pretty clear: most kids are actually somewhat okay with needles, if you inform them why you are doing it, allow for them to have their emotions, talk to them about their emotions, and allow for them to set at least some conditions.

And frankly, I hate how many people just accept the framing of "kids are naturally afraid of this because it hurts". Like, folks, I know y'all are fucking Americans and that in your culture it is kinda normalized to like put kids into like some sort of fortified hamsterball to stop them from like doing typical kids stuff. But... let me tell you: if you do not do that, kids will actually very regularly engage in dangerous play that they know will often end up in injuries that are going to hurt. And, no, they are not to dumb to understand that. The kids know that this is what might happen because of their play. They actually just take the risk. Yes, they will cry if they get hurt, because - again - their nervous system is still calibrating how it relates to pain. But they will likely do that thing again and again. I can tell you: I fell down a tree so often during my childhood, and I still climbed it. Again and again. So did most kids I knew. Like, fuck, we lived next to a forest. We played "Tarzan", and tried to go along paths without touching the ground. And we fell. A lot. And we still did it.

look up “child life specialists”

— the profession is fully dedicated to supporting kids and families in the health care setting, and a significant portion of that is educating kids (in a way they can understand, developmentally) and making plans With them to make the experience easier!

And there is SO MUCH research out there! If you explain to kids what’s going on, they need less anesthesia, get better quicker, and have less medical trauma— which leads to a willingness to accept preventative care in the future!

- Ilya’s first sunburn, which is Very Bad. His are all cheeks all flushed and he’s walking funny and hissing through his teeth as he pushes on the reddened skin as it turns yellow. He yelps any time Shane tries to touch it, which is all the time because it’s funny and also because he likes touching Ilya.

- Shane catches a little sunfish off the end of the dock and puts it in a bucket full of water and Ilya sits in a Slavic squat in front of that bucket for hours on the dock watching the fish swim around. He’s sticking his hand in there to try and touch it and making embarrassing noises and jerking his hand away when he does manage to brush a finger along the scales. Until Shane tells him it needs to be released at some point and then Ilya is insisting on being the one to do it.

- Utterly failing at water skiing, with Shane trying to give tips while David drives the boat. Full on face of water, sputtering eating-shit so many times but insisting on going again, because Shane can do it so Ilya will do it too.

- Not tying up his shorts tight enough the first time David takes them tubing (despite his calm demeanour, once David has a tube behind his boat he drives like a maniac) and Ilya almost loses his shorts, white booty out. Shane can’t help but smack his ass and cackle as Ilya tries desperately to hold onto the tube handle with one hand and his shorts (that are around his knees) with the other while they continue to fly across the water.

- Ilya trying to dive off the dock in a life jacket because Shane told him it was impossible and now of course he has to try.

- Ilya in a life jacket in general.

- Ilya with a mosquito bite. Itching itching itching while Shane slaps at his hands and tells him to stop. It’s gets all red and raised bump, and Ilya’s kind of self conscious but he still can’t stop scratching and cursing mosquitos as he does. But then Shane’s pressing a careful thumbnail into an X over the bite and Ilya’s fascinated by another way he can be close to Shane.

- Ilya on the dock, on his stomach watching a spider eat a bug in its web for an undetermined amount of time. He’s narrating for Shane with a slightly disgusted but fascinated tinge to his voice who is suntanning beside him, sunglasses on.

- Ilya in the marsh trying to catch a frog after David explains how Shane used to do it all the time. He’s finally got one, calling Shane’s name with so much excitement and a frog cupped between his hands. Of course it’s the largest fugliest frog in the marsh so then they’re both crouched down, staring into Ilya cupped palms arguing about whether or not the frog is cute (Ilya says it is, Shane says it’s ugly)

- Ilya with a leech from the marsh stuck onto his ankle. He’s actually Losing His Shit about this one. freaky, disgusting, Canadian blood sucker. Why the fuck would they even have these things in the lake. Shane has to pull it off. Obviously he lets Ilya chase him around the property throwing his ankle towards Shane screaming “get it off, Shane! Get it off!” before he has Ilya sit on a sun chair and performs leech surgery on his ankle while Ilya whimpers (non-sexily).

In my head his podcast would start off with good intentions, but he’s collected a LOT of dirt during his time as a professional hockey player, and he’s retired, so he has no real obligation to stay quiet anymore. Plus he’s got a lot to be mad about, and he’s at a time in his life where he feels safe enough to actually Be Mad. So it’s like. Episode one is normal boring hockey commentary, episode two is normal boring hockey commentary, episode three is normal until about halfway through where he’s talking about a guy he used to play against and he’s like oh yeah I always hated playing that guy. He never actually used my name, he’d just call me *[SLUR REDACTED] instead. One time he told me that they never should’ve let my grandparents out of the internment camps, and I was pissed, but also kind of impressed that a stupid-as-shit guy like that actually knew enough about history to say that. I guess racism will have you doing anything, including read. There is then a long awkward silence before the cohost goes ANYWAYS about that new power play lineup LA is running…..

Fourth episode him and his cohost are talking about coaches and coaching styles and Shane casually drops oh yeah everybody always knew to steer clear of that guy. He had a reputation. Cohost is like reputation for what? And Shane is like oh you know. If you stand too close he’ll grab your ass. Guys on his team really gotta watch the rookies because if they go into his office alone… cohost is like Jesus. And nobody came forward? Shane is like oh people tried, it just never went anywhere. Team management buried it.

Fifth episode they have to derail the hockey talk to address the latest Hazing In Canadian Juniors Teams Scandal, and Shane is like no yeah I absolutely believe those kids. When I was on juniors the nineteen year olds I was billeted with literally waterboarded me. Like, held me down with a tshirt over my head and poured whiskey on my face until I almost drowned. They could say they got their fingernails pulled out with pliers and I’d believe them.