SuzyMango

cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant

Text: congrats on the failure babe, most people don't even try

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

"I'm just a girl☺️🥰💖💞💅🌺🌷🦄" when you were eight and the teacher said she needed some strong boys to carry something you used to be furious, and when you convinced them to let you help, you carried twice as many chairs as the boys with the righteous anger of a girl who knew she was just as capable as them. Where did that go?

trees are very 🥺 because sometimes i’ll stand under the shade of a tree and look up at it and it’ll sway its branches about in the wind and i’m like oh my God i’m alive and YOU’RE alive. we are alive together and made up of the same starry stuff and standing right next to each other in this moment on this earth. do u feel it when i reach out and press my hand to your trunk? can you hear me? i think you’re so neat. and then the sunlight filters through its leaves just so and that lovely green color leaves me dazzled. it’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing

“It’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing” I’m in love

You ever have that "hungry but nauseous" feeling about activities? Like you really really want to do something and you've got plenty of fun hobbies and things you could pick from but all of the options turn your stomach so you're just laying there bored and angry about it.

Disregard that, the painkillers kicked in. Time to get up and go do some various fuckery to my clothes.

If showering, going outside, etc. happen to be The Activities you're struggling to start, or are otherwise just too big a step to use as a starting point, try: wiggling. Wherever you are, just wiggle whatever body parts are most cooperative. Fingers, toes, hands, legs, arms, etc. Introduce movement and create momentum without the commitment of actually Going Somewhere (which would inherently require doubling that energy expenditure to get back). Also a great gauge of whether the problem is lack of momentum or lack of energy! If wiggling is all I can manage, then energy was the limitation and I need rest to improve it. If wiggling feels good, momentum was the limitation and I've created some to start with!

Can you imagine being Captain Olimar. You’re in your late fourties’ working a trucking job for weeks on end all to provide for your wife and kids and dog that you barley see all for a president who treats you with disdain despite the fact that you’re one of his best employees and then a meteorite strikes your ship and you crash on a planet. You have thirty days to survive until your life support gives out but it’s ok because these little carrot creatures have mistaken you for their leader and are willingly following you into battle against the local wildlife for your ship parts. You return home by the skin of your teeth after experiencing the life of a general commanding troops in a great war that no one will ever know about. But it’s okay. You can see your wife and kids and dog again. The president immediately sends you BACK because he’s in debt and also makes you take some random employee back with you. Whatever. It’s fine. At least you’re not going to keel over this time. So you go back to commanding your plant friends to get treasure for your shitty boss. You pay off your debt and then realize the other employee isn’t with you. So you touch down and while that sucks it also means that you can see your wife and kids and dog again because you’re not qualified for getting someone back from an unfamiliar planet and you’re pretty sure you have at least a couple medical problems that should be checked out and you paid off his debt what more does he want AND THEN HE PUTS YOU BACK. HE GOES WITH YOU. So your shitty boss is now on the planet and it’s just you and the ship’s AI and the carrot people. So you go into a cave filled with horrors and kill some biomechanical bug thing that may or may not be puppeted by that coworker. But whatever. You got him. You can go home to your wife and kids and dog. And then. And then. HE SENDS YOU BACK. Because apparently you made so much money last time. So whatever. You’re going to make so much money you’ll never have to work for him again and you can go back to your wife and kids and dog and get checked out for whatever health problems you definitely have, and then you go into a stump. And this immaterial gold creature kills all your plant friends and kidnaps you. It’s toying with you, letting you wake up and try and escape only to get captured and forced into sleep again by the presidents’s cheap spacesuit’s forced sleep measure. Three guys happen to stumble upon you by accident when dealing with a different problem and rescue you and for some reason your shitty coworker is tied up. But it’s fine. You get to go home to your wife and kids and dog. And after all of that. You still have to go to Super Smash Bros.

… I am unironically here for this

this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

There's this video of nuns talking about their favourite things to do outside of nun activities and one of them says "ultimate frisbee" and the other one goes "and sister you are so good at that." I literally cannot get "and sister you are so good at that" out of my head. Out of all my stims this one is my fav lolol