TRANSCENDENTALLY BISEXUAL

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

yeah actually we removed the big bad wolf from the little red riding hood story because portraying violence against minors is really messed up. yeah. yeah also the wolf narrative was really predatory and had had some icky grooming vibes and a fable meant for literal children shouldn’t have implied p*do shit and grape so now little red riding hood goes into the woods and nothing happens and she goes to grandma’s house. don’t worry our kids will still stick to the path and know not to follow to wolves implicitly because we told them to and children should always do as their told. just like little red riding hood does now.

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based

So she saved the lives of all these men AND between 50 and 100 women (one for every abuser she killed) so definitely a net positive.

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

Why is it easier and more comfortable to sit in a position that actively damages my joints than it is to just sit with okay posture. Why does my body crave its own destruction

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

more characters with superpowers who look into the whole superhero thing and decide "hm no i do not want to participate in this actually"

to be clear i'm not saying they turn to supervillainy. they just look at their superpower-based career options and decide to go in an unrelated direction. dental hygienist. supply chain management. HVAC technician in surprisingly high demand

One time at my manufacturing job I got asked about what superpowers I would want and I concluded that the most passion driven power/job I could imagine was just knowing the precise location of all sharks. I would be unable to control them or communicate with them. But I am invaluable to conservation work, ocean photography, zoology, lifeguards, etc. I have no idea if I could or would want to profit from this, I would probably still have a 9-5, but I like to think of spending my spare time just answering texts about Greenland sharks and doing horrifying guest appearances on weather broadcasts.

I’m not sure I knew the thy/thine distinction. Thanks for this!

"Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo?"

sex workers should be allowed to kill their clients if they feel like it

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

The dom shortage is fake. The top shortage is fake. The masc/butch shortage is fake. You just have bad vibes.

it's not mentioned in the song but in the corner of the piano man bar there is a mouse hole and inside that hole is a smaller replica of the bar staffed and patronized by mice who perfectly mirror all of the characters and they all say squeak us a song you're the piano mouse and mouse what are you doing here while they put cheese in his tiny jar

hey sorry i can't come out tonight i have a thing