*me reaping* i know i for sure did not sow this much no way all this was me

i turn my clamification dial to 100% & the capital of the netherlands becomes clamsterdam. i turn it to 200% & it becomes clamsterclam

my beautiful baby who i'm naming untitled document

i can't seem to find my baby

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

im nice…..

He’s literally nice

"there are no jobs" wooga literally wants you to woog. for money.

Me when i definitely know what halves are

Oh you’re part of the densest half

put rainbow laces on all my shoes recently which is fun and sexy but has the side effect that i have gotten multiple "i like your shoelaces" from strangers and like. i cant NOT "i stole them from the president" in return. just in case. but its recieved mostly awkward laughs and looks of confusion. embarrasing myself in public out here over my damn shoelaces.

(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

"Hey there pepperhead, legal isn't super exited about this tweet"

does anyone know if we have locking in today

no it was canceled. today we are taking things as they come and doing exactly what feels right