.Sting.Ray

I wanna make it clear that I do not read 100YQ for several reasons. However, the main reason is the way Mashima completely 180’d Grays character to make him in love with Juvia.

But I want to talk about these panels and how cruel they are.

Obviously these are reminiscent of when Juvia sacrificed herself for Gray during Alverez. I’ve spoken in a previous post about how terrifying that situation is for Gray, but I’ll bullet point it:

Gray is a character that has immense survivors guilt, and above all else, does not want anyone else to die for him.

Gray, in his mind, has lost nearly everyone important in his life because of him- His parents, Ur, Ultear, he almost killed Natsu, Erza almost died in the tower of heaven, and Lucy during the grand magic games.

Gray is self-loathing to a fault. He doesn’t believe he’s worth being cared for- much less worth dying for. He’s so willing to use iced shell not because he thinks there’s no other option, but because Gray is suicidal.

Juvia took away Grays agency in the face of his death on purpose. She intentionally killed herself to prey on Grays survivors guilt by telling Grays her life belongs to him. She made Gray responsible for her life. She then proceeded to turn herself into blood to ensure that Gray would be unable to die. (And he says the haunting line “my blood doesn’t feel like my own.” That’s horrific, and also means that in the canon he could physically feel Juvia inside him.)

After this is when we see Gray do a complete 180 when it comes to Juvia, because now he feels indebted to her because she died for him.

Now Gray is reliving this situation again. And Gray, like many victims of abuse, convinces himself he’s in love with Juvia so he can imagine he gave his consent. Anyone who’s had someone threaten harming themselves if you didn’t stay with them knows the guilt you feel. The only time in the main story we see Gray say he loves Juvia in any way is when she killed herself for him. Gray is not acting out of love- he’s acting out of guilt. And it happens again! Gray only says that he “Never noticed that he loves her this much” because her life is in danger. He doesn’t love her, but he believes that he has to.

Oughhhh Mashima fuck you fuck you fuck you. You literally did one of the most terrifying things to me specifically- you took away Grays agency in the face of his death and gave it to his abuser. Literally took away every bit of agency he had left!! OHHHHHH FUCK YOU DUDE

That genuinely scares me on such a visceral level. Ooooooh my god. “Hi, I’ve stalked, harassed, and assaulted you several times over the years we’ve known each other. I made you comfort me for being too overbearing on the day your pseudo mother died. And because you’re survivors guilt McGee, I’ve decided im gonna kill myself in front of you and make you be responsible for my death! But oh no!! The guy who’s tried offing himself ten times within the past couple years is now also attempting to off himself!! I’m literally going to turn my body into blood because you need to live with a part of me inside you forever, and you’re not allowed to die because my blood isn’t just on your hands: it’s inside you. Hi my name is Juvia Lockser and I suck.”