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Now, if you have any kind of disability, you know it's fucking annoying go have people make you explain something over and over again, or have people go "oh, you have X? You mean, like the [awful stereotype] thing?"

So, I have realized recently that being Vague As Shit is great for making people leave you the hell alone.

I have autism and anxiety, and with that comes the symptom of selective mutism. If you don't know what that is, Firefox is free. But I had an episode where I couldn't speak today in one of my classes, and knew I would have to explain it to my partner and probably my professor.

This usually goes with me writing that I can't speak, them asking why, me saying selective mutism, and them asking me what that is. Then I have to painstakingly write out an explanation. And, obviously, I'm tired of this. So I tried something new. When he asked, I simply told him I couldn't speak, and when he asked if I physically couldn't or just didn't want to, I just opened my mouth and unleashed the terrifying, awful, broken stuttering that comes out when I try to speak while mute.

His response was "OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU CAN STOP NOW" and he did not question me for the rest of class, and even explained to the professor what was wrong when she tried to make me popcorn read.

This also works on doctors. When I tell doctors I have PCOS, POTS, or hEDS, they usually hear "oh the crazy women self diagnosis disabilities" and treat me accordingly. So, instead I drop unhinged symptoms until they leave me alone.

"Yes, my last menstrual cycle started on December 12th, 2025 and ended January 28th, 2026." "I have experienced several events where I have passed out randomly, yes." "My hip has subluxated six times in the past week."

A neurotypical person (maybe your family member or friend) sees the interaction and ends it right there (maybe by saying "leave them alone" or maybe by physically pulling you away from them).

The neurotypical person leaves you with no indication of what you did wrong. What evidence was there that they were uncomfortable so you can recognize that in your future interactions and instead interact only with those who are comfortable around you? What was it that you did that made them uncomfortable so you can be more selective about who you do that with? At what point did they become uncomfortable (was it from the beginning, or was it after you did something, or was it after you did it too many times)? The neurotypical person doesn't care if you understand any of that.

And sometimes, the neurotypical person isn't even accurate. Sometimes, the neurotypical person will assume you're bothering someone even when the interaction is consensual or possibly even when the other person initiated it. They just see you doing what they consider weird and project their opinions onto the person you're interacting with.

The neurotypical person doesn't want you to understand. They just want you to obey them. Asking what you did wrong is considered arguing. They see you as lesser than them. They consider themself to be a saint just for tolerating you. They laugh about how socially awkward you are but they never explain how you can improve. Or maybe they'll explain it once, in a way that's nowhere near clear enough, just to say that they did. Then, when you stop interacting with people because you have no idea how to do it the right way and because people like this made you feel like you're inherently unlikeable, these same people tell you to stop being negative and "just put yourself out there".

I can’t do that without negative consequences

I can’t do that unless I have support for it

I can’t do that

I have trouble reading between the lines and picking up on implicit information? Actually, I’ve learned the importance of giving and receiving precise, specific instructions in order to avoid time consuming miscommunications.

I’m easily bored with only one task? Actually, I have a curious mind and thrive in places with a wide range of tasks as I prefer dynamic environments where I can contribute to many projects.

I have trouble with white lies that are merely social niceties? Actually, I prioritize a transparent work environment where we can tackle issues head-on.

Buy that mobility aid.

Get the brace.

Continue to stand up to your doctors because you deserve to be listened to and WE WILL see a day where we don't have to do that anymore.

High support needs disabled people are both an asset and a priority.

POC disabled people are important to us.

Decorate your health aids/organisers (bedazzle that mobility aid, put a sticker on your AAC device, attach a keychain to your crash cart, etc.)

You CAN bring your aids out in public: you are not an embarrassment.

DO NOT APOLOGISE FOR YOUR BEING YOURSELF.

Not everything will apply to you, but it's important to acknowledge that so you have space for when something does (take this as you will).

Clock your friends', relatives', lover(s') AND your own (internalised) ableism.

You are to be treasured, not traded for.

And lastly: FUCK ICE and those pigs who detained an autistic woman for not complying FAST ENOUGH with them, because needing to have time to process and catch up is apparently a criminal offence. I know it feels like this never ends, but nothing is forever. We can make progress and KEEP it. There's work to be done, but we're doing it—just because I say that doesn't mean we stop now and pray: we keep going.

Great, congrats, you personally are able to “push through” chronic fatigue and walk around a bit or whatever. Yes it sucks that you have to injure yourself to survive. But that is not unique to you/being LSN, and I’m so fucking sick of less severely disabled people derailing every higher-needs post to try and…. Guilt trip the op for being disabled??

🗣️🗣️🗣️

This isn't inherently because it's disrespectul to my job, though it is and us caregivers do SO much more than that; we're taking care of people. That's 10% or less of the job.

It's the genuine DISRESPECT of my clients that bother me.

Do NOT speak about my client like they're a dog. "Do you wipe ass for a living?" You could not have phrased that in a more insensitive, ableist, and dehumanizing way.

Incontenience care is NORMAL.

It is NOT gross, weird, immature, or anything else besides normal.

My clients have felt ashamed for normal things like needing their briefs changed or having to do toiletry and everytime I reassure them they're completely fine and not doing anything wrong. It breaks my heart to see them so embarassed over a normal bodily function, esepcially when they still feel so even though I signed up to do this.

Maybe the elderly or disabled wouldn't be so ashamed of basic things that ARE normal if people didn't make it sound like it was the most absurd, repulsive, and gross thing ever.

Please be mature. If you are an adult and cannot comprehend someone needing toilet assistance without making it weird or sound gross, then you really really need to grow up.

I don't really like making aggressive sounding posts or scolding posts, because every single person is learning and we all make mistakes, but gosh guys, this really bothers me.