Former Incel

Well, nerds are oppressed in the same way pirates are.

The stereotypical nerd who has a multitude of disabilities (autism, speech impediment, allergies, anything needing an aid that's considered "ugly", etc) is oppressed. But simply having nerdy interests does not make someone oppressed.

Men: "Why don't women compliment me?"

Men: "Why do women lead me on by complimenting me then not having sex with me?"

Women hear both of these complaints from men on a regular basis. Before she meets a man, she doesn't know which category he is. Does he complain when women aren't nice to him? Does he complain when women are nice to him? Does he complain about both? There's no safe option that will satisfy all men.

How would you like me to respond to this? What is a cuck in this context? Which posts have I made that you would consider the most cuckish? What should I do differently to make myself less of a cuck?

"That just means he likes you."

Teachers often say this when a boy makes a girl uncomfortable. This is especially true if the boy is neurodivergent.

This hurts both the girl and the boy.

It hurts the girl because it shows that no one will protect her boundaries and that anything he does to a girl is okay as long as it's motivated by liking her, which easily eventually normalizes rape.

It hurts the boy because he continues to make girls uncomfortable, continues to give girls reasons to not like him, but grows up thinking he's doing nothing wrong so he ends up disliked by girls and unaware of why.

But the sport must not be one that treats the women as the prey, the obstacle, or the enemy.

Also, it's an accuracy sport. Your goal should be to see how accurate you can get, not how far you can get.

Your goal should be to find those who want an interaction while avoiding those who don't. Your goal should not be convincing those who don't want an interaction to change their mind.

But if you struggle socially, you're probably missing out on a lot more than just sex. Yes, sex is something you'd miss out on if you struggle socially, but it's just one of many interactions that you're missing out on.

Meanwhile, manosphere advice treats sex as the litmus test. If you have sex, you succeed. If you don't have sex, you fail. This means that if you regularly go on dates with women, if women frequently touch you and consent to you touching them, and if you have a reputation among women as being safe and enjoyable to be around, but you haven't yet found one who wants to have sex with you, then you fail. If the vast majority of women see you as a creep and warn each other to stay away from you, but you occasionally meet a woman who's vulnerable enough that you can manipulate her into having sex with you, then you succeed.

Because of that, women often avoid being direct when setting boundaries.

If you're autistic and therefore struggle when people don't directly communicate with you, this can make things difficult for you.

But there are solutions to this.

Pay attention to what she initiates. If you're initiating the interaction and she's playing along, there's definitely the possibility that she's only passively avoiding confrontation and wants to be left alone. But if she's going out of her way to create the opportunity to interact with her, then it's much more likely that she genuinely wants the interaction.

Well, it depends.

Your goal must be to give her a reasonable option. If the physical contact CAN happen if she wants it to but she can also reasonably avoid it, then you're doing nothing wrong.

I've gone through this many times. I've been frequently treated like a charity case to the point that I started pushing away people who were nice to me.

And the problem isn't that no one handed me a solution. It's understandable that I'd have to figure out the vast majority of it myself. It's understandable that people whose social skills come naturally are not going to know which parts are difficult in order to give advice for those parts. It's understandable that it's not someone else's job to solve my struggles for me.

The problem is that the advice they gave actively made my situation worse.

When someone is struggling with something and asks for your help (not just about how to socialize, but about how to do anything), you don't have a duty to solve their problem for them, but you do have a duty to do one of the following.

If you want to help, first make sure you understand what the situation is, then show them that you understand, then share your ideas of how to help.

If you don't want to help, get out of the way so someone else who wants to help can or so they can figure it out on their own.

If you're not able to provide a solution, but you show that you understand the situation, you'll at least make them feel validated. And maybe once in a blue moon, you'll be able to provide some advice that helps a little. Even if your advice doesn't work, as long as it's relevant to the situation, they may be able to change part of it and come up with a solution.

But if you give advice without even understanding what the situation is, you can easily make it worse. If you tell them "yes you can" when they say that they can't do something, then they have to jump through hoops to prove that they can't. If you automatically assume that they're experiencing the most normal situation you can think of, then they have to jump through hoops to explain what the difference is, which could be exhausting when they have to do it repeatedly. If you assume that the problem is fear so you pressure them to overcome their fear when the problem isn't actually fear, then they could end up taking wild guesses that make their situation worse. If you assume that the first success, no matter how small, is evidence that their struggle is gone, then they'll have to jump through hoops to explain why their success was only possible under specific rare conditions, and they may even become afraid to succeed because it means everyone will dismiss their struggles. Also, if you're an adult and they're a child, then you'll be frustrating them while they'll be prohibited from showing it.