the agony of notebooks

as a person who is beyond saving i loveee giving life advice. waterlogged corpse at the bottom of the ocean reminding people to swim parallel to the shore to escape a rip current

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

so i put my hands up theyre playing my song the evil skull flies away

the first thing about rpf to understand is that it is ultimately fiction and we will never understand the true inner workings of the lives of celebrities because there is always going to be a veil of performance clouding the way we perceive them. the second thing about rpf to understand is that it’s always true + real and it happened exactly as i imagine it in my mind

everyone hold on i am going to make a poast

^my toaster that I recently taught how to speak but that still struggles differentiating between plosives

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and actually improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

look i WISH more horror movies were just the directors thinly disguised fetish. instead we got all these horror movies that are just undisguised reflections of culturally hegemonic values and anxieties. like if we got some weird fetishes up in here it would probably add some variety thats all im saying.

literally no one knows how to be fans of musicians in a respectful, non-intrusive way anymore, except for my mutuals, who are trying to convince 82 year old bob dylan that he is nonbinary

oooooh i got plany of disk space

if i was a popular minecraft youtuber id just tweet "hey guys stop drawing shipping fanart of me and my friends/coworkers, i only fucked one of them and seeing me paired with anyone else is kinda weird and crosses my boundaries" and then i'd turn my phone off

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal