they should invent a yourself you can forgive

not immune to hateful facefuck. i’m sorry 😔

when all you ever do is piss them off and raise their blood pressure but you look so pretty with their cock in your mouth they just have to make you choke on it ,, GUH

@lorelune

not immune to hateful facefuck. i’m sorry 😔

when all you ever do is piss them off and raise their blood pressure but you look so pretty with their cock in your mouth they just have to make you choke on it ,, GUH

The goalies cradle the ball because they believe it to be an egg and are trying to keep the other players from breaking it. Unfortunately they have also been led to believe that the egg's True Mother is one of the players and feels obligated to return the egg. Needless to say the winning team will get to hatch the Great Serpent.

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

they call it his achilles heel because ack! It killies him

I'm trying to take the high road but I'm like, dragging myself bleeding and sobbing along the high road while looking so so longingly at the low road

#AND that fucker taking the low road is going to get to Scotland afore me. very annoying.

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

was talking about bus ads with my coworkers yesterday and i'd only just mentioned the "reseller ads" before one of them said "yeah, the one for fucking your brother" and everyone nodded. yes yes we've all seen it

I am genuinely so fucking stupid. I was reading this book where a bunch of people have to pass a logic puzzle in order to survive, and I was like "why are they all dying?? the answer is obviously the third goblet from the left!" yeah.....that was not the answer. I would've died in this book, and I would've been SO publicly smug before I did. like giving people the finger, smirking, etc. this sucks.

if i cockwarm him long enough the meat will fall off the bone, right?

i really think mc in caleb mc is so sheltered about sex. she is like shane hollander and that post about him reinventing cnc from his own beautiful mind.