Everythings Real

Reblog if you're shorter than 5'8.

If you don’t reblog this, you are on duty to get the cookies off the top shelf. You have been notified.

4'6 here. At home, I climb a step stool and will ask a tall friend when I’m out and about.

Can’t hurt. Here’s hoping for an awesome birthday party.

Hey maybe I can get my homework done!

Fingers crossed on my piano performance tmrw!

anyone else feel like their spirit is ancient and they’ve been carrying the weight of its heartbreak for an eternity

My dad’s literal first words on holding me for the first time were “ …she’s done this before, and she’s not happy to be back.”

That is such a badass thing to say about a newborn

everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn. he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team’s trailers and shit. and now there’s Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbillies

I don’t like adding to posts but I also have a funny story like this, so I was watching the movie the Blair witch which takes place in burkettsville maryland, which to me is so funny because that is were my grandfather lives and the town is literally just old people and cows with their main street consisting of a post office. Well anyway he told me that after it came out people were coming in like bus loads to the town to find the witch and my grandfather lives up in the Mountain area and people were up in his property trying to find the witch and it made him angry so he went out and hung up stick people and stacked rocks and it freaked the people out so they started thinking something was out there when really it was my 80 year old Italian grandpa who wanted people out of his woods.

We had ghost hunters come to a historic house in my town to film and if you think every high school kid in town respectfully stayed at home that night instead of going to fuck up that filming you’re dead wrong.

this is comforting, actually, sometimes paranormal things are just a bunch of bored people dicking around in the woods.

New favorite cryptid: locals

I know people like to say “nazis are people” but they’re fucking not, they’re daemons, and they want to create a literal Hell on Earth

Don’t look away from this. Don’t be silent. Hold them accountable, hold their supporters accountable. Make it clear that this is not right, not welcome, and that it is answerable. Force acquaintances and relatives who prop these people up to look at this, make them explain it to you. Demand they tell you why they’re okay with it so they have to say it out loud. Make them uncomfortable. Make them see it. Make them answer.

five minutes before they did it, my friend’s roommate said “they won’t do it” 

I feel so betrayed by ads

Thanks, I hate it

Update: Every time Contractor sees me, he does a little Devil Horns gesture at me and its adorable.

Annual reblog.

Fuck the Starvation Army. Give them nothing.

NEVER DONATE TO THE SALVATION ARMY

Reblogging so that people dont accidentally donate to a hate group

#mickey: who’ll have to endure this humiliation#donald: who’ll get to wear the pretty dress

GET ON HIS FUCKING LEVEL, MICKEY

@modmad 

God I was at that restaurant in Annapolis yesterday that serves those 4 lbs milkshakes and these two dudes were just finishing one together and people were asking them for tips and they were like “you have to get like mint chocolate chip or something because if there’s no texture it gets too boring to finish” and all I could keep thinking was that it can only be a matter of time before some god wipes this town off the map and we will have earned it with our disgusting hubris

Doable? Maybe

Listen. After the Burger Incident of 2016 I’ve learned to accept my fragile mortality and live within the boundaries set for humanity by the Universe.

I’m a little nervous but my curiosity is overwhelming~ what, pray tell, is the Burger incident of 2016?

Hubris

When you can’t decided between pride and gluttony so commit both sins at the same time.

This is the only comment allowed now

Wait they have a mansion?

That was likely right after Scientology bought half the company.

Excuse me

how is this a universal experience?

@toverijenspokerij Here she is! XD

IMG I need this so very badly. Every day.

@cincobrand

:(

@deadlydeamonflashmob

“Rest in peace, Space Bat…”

“See you, space bat”

this was too cool not to reblog

I don’t care if I have reblogged this already, this is awesome for those “How do I draw someone who looks” questions.