Consistent post themes: not on this blog

Yet if I were a young man traveling in a foreign country where religious villagers kept warning me not to visit a mysterious nobleman (but refused to even speak of what precisely was so scandalous about his nature) my first thought would be less "the Count is a supernatural being who will murder me and my loved ones" and more "the Count is an infamous homosexual and the repressed villagers fear for my chastity, I am surely in danger of seduction 😏😏😏"

The rumor spreads, dozens come. Dracula is soon waking up in the evening to find yet another flamboyantly dressed Byronic young Englishman on the Grand Tour just wandering around his house with roses and chocolates and he’s like: “How the heck do these things keep getting in? Shoo! Shoo, this isn’t a bloody bathhouse, and- get of the chaise lounge, that’s an antique! Honestly, This happens every spring, I really need to invest in better pest-proofing!”

#Dracula fighting off scores of regency era bottoms who desperately want to get railed by him is the funniest fucking thing ever

#ok but listen… this has the same energy as that bit in the book #where anathema threatens a soldier with ‘drop your gun or i shall regret what i have to do next’ #while thinking ‘it’s true bcos i’ll really regret being shot’ #what i’m saying is ‘you’re all going to have the chance to find out’ #while very much az being a badass and That Bitch ™ #he is ALSO thinking ‘what they’ll find out is that i can do only and exactly what angels can do #including die in hellfire if they decide to try that #so let’s hope they don’t try that’ (tags via equalseleventhirds)

This is a very Pratchett thing to include, by the way. Carrot does it too, in… Feet of Clay, I believe or maybe Men at Arms. When trying to enter a guild, he ‘threatens’ the guard with ‘let us in or I will follow my orders with great regret’. Where his orders are ‘leave quietly’.

It can be somewhat disheartening when you the artisans and craftsman of yesteryear who created miracles out of limited technology go forgotten. Always nice to see someone somewhere making tributes to them.

Ooooh, can you do one for wheelchairs except it’s a throne? Because I definitely feel like I’m cruising around on a throne.

That’s it! That’s it exactly!

This!!!!! This is what young disabled people should be exposed to. We are powerful! Fantastic! Hot and cool as hell!!!! Use your mobility aid and discover your inner badass.

The hotdogs taped together with what looks like scotch tape really makes this for me

ONCE AGAIN. DIONYSUS.

everything about this image is amazing. the discarded clothes. his hair in curlers. the orchid. the scope. the wiener dog. the single exposed nipple.

gmod_crowbar_soundeffect.mp3

Reblog if your gender is crowbar

i scrolled past this post at least thrice and just understood it now i hate myself