the waker must asleepen

highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

The most underrated act of kindness is letting people be. Let them mispronounce a word, talk too much about a show they love, or get excited about something you don't understand. Everyone got something that lights them up. let them shine, even if it's not your thing

Every time some fash posts about Real Art vs Duchamp's Fountain it's like lol that urinal has been kicking your ass for a hundred years

Marcel Duchamp kicked the bucket 55 slutty, slutty years ago and you can't get him out of your head. You're half as old as he is dead and you are worshiping at his altar, you are drinking his piss. He won.

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

Sexual predator J.K. Rowling

If you see a community of people missing from a chunk of history (Queer/trans/religious ect) and your immediate thought is "oh they didnt exist then" instead of "oh shit these people had a bunch of their history erased" you have fallen for genocidal propaganda.

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.