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You just want to make a difference, but are you actually the right person to make a difference or are you there just by chance? Is good will and wanting to help others enough? Or are you doomed to feel fundamentally stupid everyday for the rest of your life?

March 20, 2020

These first two months have been a period of adjustment for me. I’m currently adapting to a new faculty, which feels quite different from what I’m used to. It has been a time of learning how to work with my supervisors, understanding my research project, and getting used to the dynamics of the research team.

One of the biggest changes has been realizing how much responsibility and autonomy comes with being a PhD researcher. It’s exciting, but also a little overwhelming at times.

Another small but frustrating thing is that I still haven’t received my university laptop or the monitor I requested for working from home. Hopefully, I’ll get the laptop next Wednesday — fingers crossed!

On a brighter note, last week I attended a workshop. It wasn’t directly related to my research, but it felt really refreshing to work on more personal and professional development topics with other students and PhD candidates. I would definitely recommend checking out the workshops your university offers if you feel like you need a boost or some inspiration.

That’s all for now. What are others up to?

After an epic failure, I thought I was done for. I could not even sit at my desk, much less open a book. I was drowning my sorrows in streams of online discourse and googling all the things I did wrong. It got me nowhere. Then one day, I had to get up and start again. And it was basically a start from scratch since I was afraid of the books and the questions and the notes. But I did get better and I hope everyone who falls gathers the courage to get up and maybe this list can help a little bit after you do.

Things I have done to take my study time from none to almost 4 hours everyday within a fortnight (and continue to increase it)

CONSUME LESS MEDIA. I don't just mean social media - which is a given contraindication - but also shows, movies, even music. If you are a bookworm like me then books are also media, unfortunately. It is really tempting to look for answers online to get clarity on your own life but it doesn't work like that. Anything other than the actual study material that took up neurons was trimmed off.

A sleep schedule - fixing it and sticking to it - no excuses. This might have been the most important thing. The spike in energy from a well rested sleep at night is unparalleled. I picked an 8 hour window and slept and woke up at the same time everyday. Initially, it was like digging myself out of a grave while progressively rotting at an accelerated rate- then it I did it once; now there was precedence, I could do it again.

A morning & night routine - I have never believed in fancy routines. I always thought they were a tactic to make people feel like they're doing something when they aren't. But I will try anything once. Truth- it did not turn me into a productivity monster but it did reduce decision fatigue. It's easier when you don't have to decide every step to take right when you wake up. It made actually starting work much smoother. It also gave a nice punctuation to my day to start and end with.

Working out for even 10 mins. It does work. I hate it but it works. It has something to do with doing hard things and expanding your comfort zone. I am partial to yoga and jump rope but going for a walk or stretching also worked for me.

A plan. This is crucial because without it you have no direction and, again, decision making on the go is hard and energy heavy. I found it most helpful and least chaotic to plan in a digital calender. Time block my week for when I was going to study and what, for everyday. Essentially making a to do list for every day of the week in advance. This made it easier to decline engagements as well, instead of passively agreeing to unimportant things that came up last minute.

Basically, redirecting as much mental energy towards The Task as possible was the goal. Even though I didn't actually do it, getting bored but not doing anything other than The Task was the first step. Then eventually I did do it because, well, it was better than boredom.

After an epic failure, I thought I was done for. I could not even sit at my desk, much less open a book. I was drowning my sorrows in streams of online discourse and googling all the things I did wrong. It got me nowhere. Then one day, I had to get up and start again. And it was basically a start from scratch since I was afraid of the books and the questions and the notes. But I did get better and I hope everyone who falls gathers the courage to get up and maybe this list can help a little bit after you do.

Things I have done to take my study time from none to almost 4 hours everyday within a fortnight (and continue to increase it)

CONSUME LESS MEDIA. I don't just mean social media - which is a given contraindication - but also shows, movies, even music. If you are a bookworm like me then books are also media, unfortunately. It is really tempting to look for answers online to get clarity on your own life but it doesn't work like that. Anything other than the actual study material that took up neurons was trimmed off.

A sleep schedule - fixing it and sticking to it - no excuses. This might have been the most important thing. The spike in energy from a well rested sleep at night is unparalleled. I picked an 8 hour window and slept and woke up at the same time everyday. Initially, it was like digging myself out of a grave while progressively rotting at an accelerated rate- then it I did it once; now there was precedence, I could do it again.

A morning & night routine - I have never believed in fancy routines. I always thought they were a tactic to make people feel like they're doing something when they aren't. But I will try anything once. Truth- it did not turn me into a productivity monster but it did reduce decision fatigue. It's easier when you don't have to decide every step to take right when you wake up. It made actually starting work much smoother. It also gave a nice punctuation to my day to start and end with.

Working out for even 10 mins. It does work. I hate it but it works. It has something to do with doing hard things and expanding your comfort zone. I am partial to yoga and jump rope but going for a walk or stretching also worked for me.

A plan. This is crucial because without it you have no direction and, again, decision making on the go is hard and energy heavy. I found it most helpful and least chaotic to plan in a digital calender. Time block my week for when I was going to study and what, for everyday. Essentially making a to do list for every day of the week in advance. This made it easier to decline engagements as well, instead of passively agreeing to unimportant things that came up last minute.

Basically, redirecting as much mental energy towards The Task as possible was the goal. Even though I didn't actually do it, getting bored but not doing anything other than The Task was the first step. Then eventually I did do it because, well, it was better than boredom.

July 13th, 2025

October 27, 2025