Head Witch In Charge

man I hate when I'm in a situation where I have a lot of small rocks or balls about to crush me and the only way for me to get out of the situation is for someone to match three or more objects on a grid. and then they don't match the objects on the grid! like bitchh just match the objects godddd

*genuinely absorbed zero information* got it

*walks into an antique store* i’d like to see your most evil items, please

It’s so funny how like. Spock is queer bc of the subtext, the Otherness inextricable from his character, meanwhile William Shatner was handed the straightest man of all time on paper and fumbled the bag bc he couldn’t stop giving Leonard Nimoy fuck-me eyes and now he lives in a bi Kirk hell of his own devising, forever enduring the conshatquences of his shactions

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

#ow

#stuck

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

we are never going to be free until it literally doesnt matter whether a person is ugly or not

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

Mercenaries at the tavern are always laughing at me saying "He hasn't the stones!" and I know they mean balls but sometimes I feel like they mean the powerful elfstones that can grant any wish. And it's like well nobody has those

I've just received some distressing news

This might come as a surprise for those who use the internet as their primary outlet for queerness but some people are online to do their jobs and don't want to be out at work.

The more of an audience someone has, the more understandable it gets if they share absolutely nothing about their personal life, queer identity included. "You should experiment with new pronouns and see how you like it" is a sensible suggestion to make in a situation where you're surrounded by people who either don't care or can be trusted to be supportive, but if you've got a six-digit number of capricious strangers screenshotting everything you say in public, you quickly learn that vulnerability and openness has a cost to it.

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

the other thing about Internet dogpiling is that it is just not possible to think clearly during the acute stages. it’s so easy to criticize people for responding defensively or tactlessly to mass criticism but I cannot overstate the degree to which your brain becomes a rat in a trap. I think we do have to temporarily recalibrate our expectations in these circumstances and accept that they do not necessarily represent how that person responds to criticism. the skills for self-regulating and reacting to normal interpersonal criticism are not the same skills needed to respond to viral callouts.