drop kick me jesus through the goal post of life

If you want a woman to have fat titties and a fat ass but can't handle the accompanying fat tummy, arms, and legs, then you are a coward and your bloodline will not survive the winter.

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

Reminded again theres not enough affectionate autassasinophilia and erotophonophilia (getting killed n killing paraphilias)

I think more non binary characters should be fat

the reason usa birth rates going down is because we have a whole generation of women whose sexual awakening was Sans undertale and none of the men want to wear jorts and drink ketchup and go Er er er

“they never explicitly looked at the camera and said ‘i am experiencing immense grief’ so how was i supposed to know??” i don’t know what to tell you, man. if a story doesn’t spoon-feed you the character's internal emotional state like a jar of mashed peas, you guys just willingly starve. subtext is not a myth, i promise it won't bite you.

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

It's never too late to escape from the secret underground government facility you were raised and go on a telekinetic rampage across the city before mysteriously disappearing into the woods

there are some movies where people will be like “I think it needed more female characters :/” but I think the lack of female characters makes complete sense because this is dumbass guy behavior. this is a fool’s plot that the average woman would have handled better or totally avoided. the hubris of men was a core element of the film. not that women cannot be blinded by their own hubris but there is a reason guys are more likely to die in bizarre freak ‘accidents’. I say this as a man. it’s why horror movies with a final girl make sense, the average 22 year old guy would be sooooo certain he could take the slasher in combat and die badly.

executed for the crime of asking me stupid shit in this hot ass weather