substitue for love

non-binary?? that's like if a man and a woman had a child

Would like to know how exactly she wouldn't fuck up Netflix or Hulu

What does that even mean? PDF as in Portable Document Format?

i cannot stress enough that i dont think yahoo even knew what a pdf was

#brb saving my tax forms as tumblr posts

um yeah I pull bitches. pull bitches into my dark realm of terrors

when doctors ask if i have any history of cancer in my family and i have to say that yes my grandmother had 2 types of gastrointestinal cancer and they're like oh wow okay so we'll keep an eye out for that but i'm like no it was probably just all the nuclear radiation and they're like ok hm ok what the fuck do you mean and it's very weird seeing the look on american doctors' faces when you have to explain to them that believe it or not atomic bombs were dropped on this earth 2 generations ago and it did have consequences

the city where we live doesn't allow public barbecues so my brother fucking welded a grill to a handcart and now hosts "chill and grill sessions" where he sends all his friends his live location so they can hunt him down on their bikes with sausages in their backpacks while he carts it around evading the police like some sort of barbecue vigilante, grilling on the run. i have never been prouder of him

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

"you need to let it go" that would be really cool, unfortunately I'll take it with me to the grave