do good recklessly

it’s so twisted that you don’t even get a sleep do over if you had bad dreams all night, you just have to get up and go to work same as if you’d had normal dreams. i should be able to call out nightmared

[ID: A picture of the progress pride flag. The chevron with the stripes for trans people and people of color, as well as the intersex flag, have been replaced with the Tumblr "This content has been removed for violating Tumblr's Community Guidelines." /End ID]

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

“I’ve been at the devil’s sacrament so long I forgot he wasn’t god” is getting added to the tumblr line book

He looks a bit different than I imagined.

he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident

its so different to know it was an accident and that NO ONE was aware until after. its not like this was one ignorant guy cutting down a fucking relic.

do not keep putting those two unfunny autistic faggots on my dash

discipline is so sexy i wish i had any oh well

there has to be a wacky workaround somewhere

More than "here in the Southern Hemisphere we have inverted seasons :)" thing, which is TECHNICALLY true, I would go a step further and encourage to think about that "much of the world does not exactly has a spring-summer-fall-winter season sequence as they show in cartoons"

God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.

"what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins" is honestly the thing I needed to hear today

@theshitpostcalligrapher

the procrastinator’s mind will invent distractions you’ve never conceived of in order to avoid tasks even a dog could do.

People who are making posts telling us what is happening over on threads, twitter, and Instagram are like war correspondents sending us reports from the front.