Life’s Shit,

25-40 yr old white guys with big beards are either pro-military right wing douchebags or microbrew hipster douchebags and the only difference is what kind of glasses theyre wearing

butch lesbians are under such a bizarre fucking microscope on this site with ppl analyzing their every move debating if it’s gender nonconforming enough or not like i really have three messages in my inbox rn telling me i’m not butch because i like cooking which is apparently feminine just shut up you clowns

*prepares food once and is immediately transformed into a 1950s housewife*

i’m a butch lesbian not a cishet man lol i’m not going to eschew or despise basic life skills just to live up to an unhealthy idea of heteronormative masculinity. what next? y’all gonna get mad at butches for bathing regularly lmao

I swear this is my last addition to this but this shit is in the same vein as weirdos on here trying to revoke our butch cards or whatever when we’re sensitive and open about our emotions because so many of y’all think butch masculinity is a direct imitation of cishet men when it’s never been that. it’s no wonder so many of y’all think butches are scary and toxic without ever having really known one when the second we deviate from heteronormative masculine ideals you flip ur collective shit because this whole time you’ve just been viewing us as pale imitations of straight men

I enjoy that Breath of the Wild has a thermometer because it allows me to know with precision that I’m making Link walk through -17 degree farenheit weather just so if I can see if there’s anything on the top of the mountain. There was not. I also enjoy that Zelda pops into my head to tell me whenever the blood moon arrives because it shows that she can contact me, she is aware of the passage of time, and she would like to inform Link that another month has passed, should Link care to come down from the mountain and please kill Ganon at some point.

Zelda holding back Ganon by sheer willpower alone, watching as Link elsewhere in the world dies after flying off a cliff while he was trying to pop a wheelie on his magic motorcycle as he murdered mountain goats for meat he didn’t need

He’s trying to get a screenshot of his thermometer at exactly 69° farenheit at 4:20 am

I see people reblogging this with “to buy” but this pattern is free??? Someone even asked me “why don’t you charge money for it, it took you forever to put the document together” and I said “Not a lot of people have money and if they have some fabric scraps and a couple of buttons lying around they can make themselves a little mouse friend for free and that might make them happy and that makes me happier than receiving money???” Make yourself a liddol creacher! Heals the Soul!

I remember in my high school junior year psych class, my teacher explained to us if you drew the sun like that, then you had an absent father figure. Crazy.

I came out for a good time and honestly I feel so attacked right now

oOF

Shut the fuck up I hate this

is this true cause like…mood

IS THAT TRUE BITCH WAAAAAAIT A MINUTE

Oh GOD this explains literally everything

Finally, a cat with some decency

The length tho…

I called my cat “my son” in front of my dad ONE TIME and now every time he wants the cat to leave him alone, he says “go see your father!”

BICON

what if elle woods from legally blonde had been harry’s lawyer during his hearing in the order of the phoenix

Elle vs. Umbridge is a fight I’d pay to see

Good pink vs Bad pink

Listen, her patronus is a chihuahua