Why, oh why, must I feel this way?

Hollanov / Rated T / 5.9K / Complete / No warnings

Summary:

Twitter, June 16th, 2018 Andy Coleman Sportsnet @AndyJColeman Hearing reports that the Voyageurs are looking to trade Hollander. Will update as this develops. Émile @OleVoyageursOle Replying to @AndyJColeman oh so we’re at that point in the off-season where you just start talking out of your ass huh

Or: It’s the summer of 2018. To the disbelief of the public, rumors claiming that the Montreal Voyageurs will be trading Shane Hollander begin circulating online.

As is often the case with professional hockey, Montreal’s loss is Boston’s gain.

“Oh, we will definitely celebrate but you are not invited… unless Shane has suddenly gotten very cool about a lot of stuff.”

“Ilya. No.”

Ilya gets so excited when he and Shane get invited to weddings. He loves coordinating their suits and taking cute pictures outside the venue. He’s crying during the ceremony and squeezing Shane’s hand.

At the reception, he’s dancing with toddlers and grandmas. He’s making a toast. He’s slow dancing with his husband. He’s taking shots with the groomsmen and then, again, with the bridesmaids. He’s dragging Shane to the photo booth and is like “ok and now we do a silly one”. When it gets late in the night and the dance floor is full, he is bending over in front of Shane to Yeah! by Usher. Then he’s turning Shane around and pulling their hips together and whispering the lyrics to Don’t Stop The Music by Rihanna in his ear. His tie is around his head. He gets lost and is found smoking a cigar with someone’s uncle.

At the after party, he’s putting his black card down and is covering the entire tab. They’re closing the hotel bar down.

Oh, my fucking... Fuck, Rozanov.