Stigmas Do Not Define

anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free

and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her

So I gave a TEDx talk.

I’m so proud of how it turned out. I gave it right after the #ShoutYourStatus backlash and was dealing with all sorts of panic attacks and paranoia and anxiety and a general crisis of confidence. I did the talk anyway. I’m glad I did.

Talking about having herpes can be scary. It can be dangerous. It can have consequences. But it can also be rewarding, healthy, fun and even romantic. I know, I know, that’s easy for me to say. This talk is about how I got here.

You can find a full transcript of my TEDx talk on my blog>>

I’m so done with herpes jokes. And they aren’t even that funny. Why make me the butt of your jokes? It’s insensitive and rude. You don’t joke about gay anymore so why herpes?

I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and two herpes jokes were made. One where the mother in the movie asked if one guy got any sores from his whore ex wife. Another joke where an ex husband has to pay for his shitty ex wife’s herpes medication. People who have active sex lives and multiple partners aren’t whores or dirty, that’s just how they choose to live their life. To each their own. If it doesn’t effect you, don’t worry about it. Nearly everyone has herpes, it’s time to pointing fingers and laughing at those who are aware of their diagnosis. This is a movie with one of my favorite actors in it, and I’ve lost some respect for him. I grew up watching his movies and own several of them, now I don’t know what to think.

I’m hurt by society to think that my medical condition is a joke and okay to make fun of. I’m hurt because I know several people are laughing at the jokes. I’m just hurt.

I didn’t ask for herpes but I’m living with it. He didn’t tell me his status so he took away my decision. I’m hurt because something SO common and SO minor is a huge joke.

We watched another movie earlier that gave a Stat saying 1 out of 3 women have herpes even if they don’t show. This I thought was okau, it was a stat. There was no joke.