#herpes

... Herpes is literally transmitted through spit and kissing, or even skin contact (already). That is why it is also called the "kissing disease".

Anyone sharing ANYTHING on that bus would be at risk.

Any kiss or even TOUCH with anybody - any stranger, any friend - CAN transmit it.

This is not a hygiene issue when having sex.

It cannot be prevented like that.

I have herpes. I honest to god have no idea who/where I got it from. At this point I have had it for several months and I have been able to forcibly self love myself so I don't kill myself. This entry has been sitting in my drafts since i found out.

Yall this is lowkey not brief at all but tumblr isn't the site for short form content so yeah.

Brief story of how I found out: In Aug of 2025 I had an ugly pimple on my lip which got worse and turned into an ugly yellowish scab. My mom was like "hey i have an ointment that is specifically for that thingy on your lip" and I was like "wow thanks so much". I would put it on everyday until it disapeared. I live life as normal until late December of 2025. During the last week of December the same ugly pimple appeared on my lip but this time it was was painful and spread a little. And that's when I was like hol up smth aint right here🤨. So ofc I took to google to google my symptoms. All the answers I found were saying it was herpes, but I was in denial becuase I only ever shared drinks with my sister, mom, and dad and I've never kissed anyone. BUUUUUT then I remembered that when we go to church and they give out the wafers and wine they literally have the ENTIRE congregation drink from the same cup. I always hated doing it as a kid becuase I thought it was unhygenic, but whenever my parents noticed I skipped the drinking part and only went for the wafer they would yell at me and say "so what if it's unhygenic it still the blood of christ!!!". Ofc along with googling my symptoms I was searching for possible cures and (spoiler there is no cure) one of the treatments I found while googling looked very familiar 🤔it was the ointment my mom had given me 🤯. So i texted my friend really late at night and I asked her if the next morning she could drive me to urgent care. At urgent care they just confirm that it is infact herpes.

When we get back in her car Im just sobbing bruh. But before we pull up to my house Im desperately trying to get it together becuase it's New Years eve and my family is in the midst of party preparations becuase we host. My dad is the director of a religious group (to this day idk exactly what it is they do), and for the new years party they use a multipurpose space in the building they rent a room in. Once I finally manage to supress my tears I go into the house and my mom and some of her friends are in the kitchen preparing for the party. She doesn't have time to yell at me about where I have been and she avoids scandal at all costs. So I greet her with a kiss on the cheek with my herpes infected lips and help out with the preparations for the party.

My sister and I usually help out with preparations but during the actual party my sister, cousin and I wander around the building and find a corner to hide out in to catch up and draw, but this time when we found our hide out corner I was just sobbing bruh. And this time I managed to steal a bottle of rum, my cousin took a couple shots but I was drinking alooot and rum is usually more than 30%, that was the most I had in my life. I ended up blacking out and by the time it was countdown I was hunched over a toilet throwing up. I feel so bad for my cousin and sister who had to take care of me. I love them so much💕🐞💕Luckily by the time the party was over, I was done throwing up, and I fell asleep. (I threw up a little more when I got home, but I have a sensitive stomach so I passed it off as indigestion)

Anyway I felt very betrayed by my mom. She should have told me I had herpes the first time she saw I had it. When I told her about it she just said "yeah so??? lots of people have it and I still share utensils with people and it's fine. Are you gonna stop me?🙄" and when I was crying she didn't hug me or anything. Lowkey I'm kinda over it at this point, I felt immesnly hurt especially after I had just found out, but now Im just trying to get over it. At this point I should know better than to think that my mother would have my back (story for another day).

Anyway shoutout to my dad who was lowkey clueless but did his best to comfort me. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor so she could prescribe something, she tells me that as long as I'm not showing symptoms I'm not contagious. and don't get me wrong she's the one with the phd not me, but are we suuuuure??

I told one of my other close friends about it and she told me "well maybe you could just date someone else who has herpes", and I know she said it 100% out of love to comfort me but to me it sounded like, "you're just gonna have to date other people with the same disease", and it probably sounded like that to me becuase I was already thinking it. I feel like I should avoid all contact with people and other people talk about herpes with such disgust for the people who have it. And they say "That could never be me, yall stay safe though", but I got it and I never kissed anyone and was very careful to not share drinks with anyone outside of my family. I feel so disgusting and dirty, I feel like a leper. If I get into a relationship with someone I would tell them early on in the relationship. I have read (reddit) stories of people not telling thier partners or telling thier partners when they are deep into thier relationship,and honestly that feels kinda deceptive. I would rather just get rejected and get it over with.

But yeah... Moral of the story; don't be afraid to be a germaphobe, and if u get pimples on your lip, go to ur doctor, theres like a 95% chance it's herpes.

I hope reading this has helped someone; although it wasn't a particularly positive entry. Feel free to reach out to me, I dont have all the answers but I am someone to talk to and sometimes that helps.

Herpes is one of the most common viral infections worldwide, affecting millions of people every year. The United States depends on antiviral drugs to treat herpes symptoms while decreasing the number of outbreaks that occur. Aciclovir herpex functions as a widely prescribed treatment because it serves as a dependable antiviral medicine that helps manage herpes virus infections.