Not Today |-/

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I

telling a vampire "youre not allowed in my house anymore" and they get blasted out through the nearest wall

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

It could be a sign of a bad temperament.

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start to receive marketing from the creepypasta universe

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

Germans completely outdid the english language by calling tv a farseer. They got their orcish shamans to name that shit