at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

my excessive use of commas and my love of run on sentences is alluring and attractive to my readers

something really jokerifying about the US government fearmongering about hrt being horrible and dangerous and then turning around and giving their soldiers hrt because they think it'll make them better at killing and raping people in iran

if I take T that's bad because according to like two cherry picked studies conducted by the Get Rid Of Transsexual Degenerates Association, hrt actually makes us more likely to kill ourselves but that fucking bootboy really really needs T because it'll make him soooo much better at stepping on landmines i hate this stupid fucking country so much

sci fi is all about getting so scared and ripping tubes out of yourself. people miss this

sci fi is all about desperately trying to reclaim your violated bodily autonomy. it’s all about asserting that you are a being with agency, and you can choose what happens to your own person, even if that’s ripping tubes out of yourself. and also sometimes an alien is there

I was discussing that “Pennywise ends up in Derry, Ireland instead of Derry, Maine” post with my husband, and he was saying that the Derry Girls wouldn’t even set out to defeat Pennywise.  The “A” plot would be that Erin lost her mother’s necklace down the drain and they have to go into the sewers to get it, and the fact that there’s a killer clown down there that they have to fight is second to what Erin’s mother will do if they don’t find her necklace.

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

Cmon man

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

[Image description: digital drawing of an adult horse and its foal running side by side. The design is based on the prehistoric cave painting depictions of horses. The background is solid yellow. End image description.]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…