you can change (right next to me) - iv
hi!! I'm so sorry that it has taken me forever and a day to update but life has just been busy and hectic lately! I also haven't really been in the mood for writing lately, and I didn't want to post something half-assed just to say i've posted
that being said... here's chapter 4 of the tutor au! things got away from me this chapter and so i'm fairly certain the new chapter count will be a bit longer, but we'll just have to see how the next couple of them go!
happy reading!
read on ao3
Summary:
Steveâs got a soft look on his face when Eddie meets his gaze. âI think Iâm ready to go to the doctor for my hearing problems,â he whispers.
Eddie grins, and knows that he probably looks ridiculous, but he literally canât help it. Steve is being brave - braver than Eddie would ever be, probably, and doing the things that scared him, and Eddie can only hope that someday heâll be able to do that too.
or,
Steve makes a decision.
Word Count: 10.8k
Warnings: swearing, mild smut, discussions of disabilities
It takes about a week for Steve to make up his mind about the hearing thing.
And in that week, Eddie feels tortured, or maybe blessed, with Steve wearing his glasses. He shows up to class Monday without them, but when Eddie catches him squinting at the board, he walks by and murmurs a soft, âforgetting something?â
Steve seems flustered by it, but digs them out with a huff. He glares at Eddie for a few minutes, or tries to at least, before he breaks, sliding them onto his face and giving him a soft little smile. Eddie grins, waggling his eyebrows and mouthing the word âhotâ at him, which only makes Steve blush.
Theyâre so obvious with it that Barbera fake-gags, which embarrasses Eddie just enough to stop flirting until the end of class. He means to catch Steve before he leaves, just to check in with him and make sure theyâre still on for their tutoring session the next day, but Steve is out the door before Eddie even finishes packing his bag. He tries not to take it personally, and when Tuesday rolls around and Steve does show up for their tutoring session, Eddie knows it isnât really about him. Still, heâs not oblivious to the fact that Steve keeps things strictly business, all school-related talk and nothing else, and this trend continues for the rest of the week.
Itâs Friday evening when something finally changes.
Theyâre at the library for their usual tutoring session, and Eddie is watching Steve as he writes the answer to one of the workbookâs questions, his hand moving slowly and carefully as he writes. Itâs quiet in their little pocket of space in the corner, so Eddie notices immediately when someone approaches them on Steveâs bad side.
Not that Steve has a bad side, exactly. Itâs just, like⌠the side he canât hear from.
The person, who Eddie vaguely recognizes from the history lecture, says, âhey, Steve, do you happen to have the notes from Wednesday?â
Steve doesnât reply. Doesnât even look up.
Eddie gives the girl - Delilah? Dina? Something like that - a small smile before reaching out and touching Steveâs wrist.
âHm?â Steve says, still not looking up.
âHoney, youâve got a visitor,â Eddie says, voice quiet but close enough to Steveâs good ear that his gaze snaps up, then over, flushing when he sees the girl standing there.
âOh, hey Nicole,â he says, clearly embarrassed.
Nicole? Close enough.
âHey, Steve,â she says, clearly confused. âUm, I was just asking if you happened to have the notes from Wednesday. I had a doctorâs appointment and youâre the first person Iâve seen from that class since then.â
Thereâs a panic-stricken look on Steveâs face as he processes her words. âOh, umâŚâ he says, shuffling his papers around. Eddie knows his notebook is in his bag still, and he knows that Steve does have the notes, and yet he says, âI donât have them with me, actually.â
âOh,â Nicole says, her face falling. âOkay, then. Well, um. Thanks anyway.â She starts to walk away, but Eddie stops her.
âHey, Nicole? Iâve got the notes, so I can email them to you when I get home,â Eddie tells her. His hand is still resting on Steveâs wrist, so he notices it when Steve turns his hand over, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. Eddie thinks it might be a little thank you.
âOh, perfect! Thanks so much, Mr. Munson,â she says. âIâll see you guys Monday!â
Eddie smiles and waves at her with his free hand, while Steve just nods at her before turning back to his work. When his pencil doesnât move, however, Eddie frowns. âWhatâs the matter, baby?â he asks, speaking softly.
Steve shrugs, then sniffles, covering his face with his free hand and shaking his head.
Oh.
âOh, babe,â Eddie sighs sympathetically, scooting his chair closer and bringing his hand up to gently rub Steveâs back. âI⌠I wonât pretend to know what youâre going through with this. But, can you talk to me? Tell me what part is bothering you?â
Steve shakes his head again, then seems to change his mind and nods instead. âI justâŚâ He trembles, and Eddie waits, patiently rubbing circles onto his back and squeezing his hand again. âNow that Iâm like, aware of it, Iâm starting to hyperfixate on it.â
âOn what?â Eddie asks, although heâs pretty sure he already knows.
âThe hearing thing. Like⌠How many fucking times have I just sat and ignored someone because I just couldnât fucking hear them?â Heâs getting a little louder than is probably acceptable at a library, so Eddie gently shushes him. He looks sheepish for a moment, lowering his head to rest on their intertwined hands. âI just⌠I donât know. I feel broken.â
Eddieâs heart fucking shatters when he hears that. He hates to imagine that Steve has been dealing with these feelings by himself for so long before now, but he knows that he probably has. The only thing he can do now is be there for him, but thinking about a younger Steve, struggling with this alone, almost makes him sick.
âI know, Stevie. I mean⌠I havenât been through this, but I get the whole⌠feeling broken thing. But youâre not broken.â A heavy silence falls upon them, and he hopes Steve can read the subtext, because heâs just not sure if he can spell it out for him just yet.
Apparently, he doesnât need to. Steve tilts his head, looking up at Eddie and giving him a frown. âYouâre not broken, either.â Before Eddie can protest, Steve sits up straight, leaning into Eddieâs space a bit more than he normally would, his hand coming up to cup Eddieâs jaw. âNo. If Iâm not broken, then neither are you. Weâre⌠weâre okay.â
Eddie gives him a little smile, and an easy agreement. âWeâre okay,â he says softly. He tilts his head, catching Steveâs hand and pressing a little kiss to his palm. He just canât help himself.
Steveâs got a soft look on his face when Eddie meets his gaze. âI think Iâm ready to go to the doctor for my hearing problems,â he whispers.
Eddie grins, and knows that he probably looks ridiculous, but he literally canât help it. Steve is being brave - braver than Eddie would ever be, probably, and doing the things that scared him, and Eddie can only hope that someday heâll be able to do that too.
He kisses Steveâs hand again, holding it in both of his and smiling at him. âIâm so proud of you,â he murmurs. âIâm serious, Steve. I know you donât want to go, and itâs scary, but Iâm so fucking proud of you for deciding that itâs worth it to try.â
Steve has a sort of bashful look on his face, but Eddieâs not backing down. He wants Steve to know, without a doubt, how supportive he is of this decision. âWell, itâs not really that big of a deal,â he mumbles.
Eddie shakes his head. âOkay, maybe not. But that doesnât mean itâs not scary. That doesnât mean itâs not brave to do it. And that doesnât make me any less proud of you.â He uses Steveâs hand that heâs got trapped in his to boop him on the nose.
Steve looks sort of embarrassed, but smiles, ducking his head. âWill you go with me again?â He asks, studying their hands. He brings his other hand down to tangle their fingers together, and Eddie lets him, helpless to intervene when heâs being so sweet and touchy after so many days without it.
âOf course,â Eddie replies immediately. âAlways. Anytime you need me, darlinâ, Iâm there.â
He watches as Steveâs face flushes, and he has to bite back a grin. Heâs so easy to rile up, even when Eddie isnât particularly trying to. âOkay,â Steve mumbles. âWe should⌠finish this?â He sounds uncertain.
Eddie nods, though honestly he could give a fuck less about the stupid worksheet that Murray assigned. âSure, Stevie. And I can drive you home when weâre done, if you want.â
Steve pulls his right hand away from Eddieâs to grab his pencil, but taps it on the book a few times before speaking. âI was actually thinking⌠Maybe I could go back to yours? And we could, um⌠watch a movie or something?â He sounds so hopeful, and has an air of forced nonchalance that Eddie canât help but smirk at.
Then what heâs asking sets in. âUhâŚâ Eddie hesitates. Not because he doesnât want to spend more time with Steve, or course not. But because⌠heâs not sure heâll be able to maintain this quasi-friendly distance between them if theyâre all alone in his apartment.
âWe donât have to if you donât want to,â Steve mumbles after a minute of silence. âI just-â
Apparently Eddie has even less self control than he thought, because he just nods and smiles. âNo, yeah. Letâs do that. You said youâve never seen Lord of the Rings, right?â Heâs mostly joking, but the wide-eyed, panicked look that fills Steveâs face then just solidifies it. âItâs a long one, so youâll have to hurry up if you wanna be able to finish it tonight.â
Steve sighs like he regrets ever asking, but gives Eddie a little smile when he looks back down at his work. âAlright.â
~~~
Eddie doesnât actually make Steve rush through the assignment, but he hints at the correct answers more frequently than he normally would. If Steve notices the difference, he doesnât say anything, and when he finishes, he lets Eddie help him pack up his things without argument.
If Eddie didnât know any better, heâd think Steve was⌠excited.
But surely that canât be the case. Steve had never shown any interest in any of Eddieâs nerd shit before now, so surely thereâs something else. Then again, if Steveâs excited/nervous for the same reason that Eddie himself is⌠that might be a problem in and of itself.
âHow long did you say this movie was again?â Steve asks as Eddie is driving them away from campus, towards his apartment.
âWell,â Eddie says, hesitating. âUm⌠I donât think I did.â
âWhat?â Steve glances at him, clearly confused.
Eddie scratches his chin awkwardly. âI didnât say how long it was,â he admits, biting his lip a little and avoiding meeting Steveâs gaze.
âOh,â Steve says. A few seconds later, he shrugs. âOkay.â
Eddie balks at him. Surely heâs not just giving in that easily? Without any sort of estimate about when he can expect to go home?
âDo you⌠not want to know how long it is?â Eddie asks. The fun has run its course if Steveâs not playing along, but Eddie had expected the joke to last a bit longer, if heâs honest.
Steve just shrugs again. âIt doesnât really matter to me,â he says casually. When Eddie glances at him, Steve is already turned to face him fully. Eddie feels a little bad for avoiding eye contact so far on the drive, realizing acutely that Steve relies on lip-reading significantly. âAre you gonna make me go home if I fall asleep during it?â
Eddie blinks at him. He can feel his face flushing a little, at even the suggestion of the alternative. That he should just let Steve sleep over, like theyâre friends, when they are most certainly not.
âUm,â Eddie says, stupidly. âProbably not. For starters, that would be really shitty of you, to fall asleep during the best cinematic masterpiece of our time, and secondly,â he pauses to glance the opposite way before turning right at a stop sign. He normally wouldnât bother, but⌠precious cargo. âI could never be that cruel. Itâs a long one. And since itâs your first time, Iâll let it slide if you fall asleep.â
Steve makes a noise thatâs a bit like a laugh or a snort, and when Eddie glances at him, heâs got a smirk on his face. âThat sounded a bit dirty,â he teases.
Eddie rolls his eyes. âNo, youâre just dirty-minded. Get your thoughts out of the gutter, Harrington.â
âWhat if I want them in the gutter?â Steve says, sly and coy.
Eddie clears his throat. âUm.â
Luckily, Steve takes pity on him. âCan we order Chinese?â
~~~
They do order Chinese, and while they wait for it to arrive, Eddie frets about setting up the movie.
âNow this is god-tier shit, alright? And thereâs all these layers to the lore, so if you have a question Iâll have to pause the whole thing and-â Eddie is explaining all this as heâs turned away, but he pauses when he turns around and finds Steve staring at him. Heâs got this little smile on his lips, and it takes Eddie a second to get it. âYou couldnât hear any of that, could you?â
Steve breaks out into a full grin at that. âNot really. It sounded sort of muffled, but I got bits and pieces of it.â
Eddie shakes his head, embarrassed. âFuck, Iâm sorry. I-â
Steve steps towards him, shaking his head. âDonât⌠please donât do that.â
âDo what?â Eddie says quietly, hyper-aware of the lack of space between them.
âDonât treat me like Iâm broken. Just⌠treat me the way you always do.â Steveâs voice breaks, and so does Eddieâs heart.
âOh, baby,â Eddie sighs. He reaches out for Steve, pulling him into a tight hug. Luckily, Steve goes willingly. âIâm sorry. Iâm not⌠Iâm really not trying to treat you differently, like, in a bad way. Iâm just trying to be more accommodating, now that I sort of know how.â
Steve nods. âI know. I just⌠I really hate being like this, Eddie.â
Eddieâs heart feels like lead in his chest, his ribs too tight around the organ. âI know,â he mumbles against Steveâs hair, rubbing his back in long, smooth motions. âWell⌠not completely, but⌠I understand why youâre frustrated.â
Steve sniffles. Eddie kisses the top of his head, not even caring if Steve feels the affectionate touch. âYeah,â he says, tiredly. âCan we just watch the movie? And⌠and not talk about all my problems?â
Eddie nods, but pulls back to look at him. âOkay, but let me say one last thing?â Steve shrugs, so Eddie takes that as an agreement. âYouâre allowed to talk about these things with me. I know you feel weird about it, but just know that Iâll always listen if you need to talk. Okay?â
âOkay,â Steve agrees quietly. âThanks, Eddie.â
Helpless to his own stupid urges, Eddie leans in again to kiss Steveâs forehead. âAlright. Movie time.â
~~~
The food comes as theyâre gathering up pillows and blankets and all the snuggly things that Eddie can find in his apartment. They build a fort of sorts on his sofa, and between the two of them, theyâre laughing and giggling at the absurdity of it all, the child-like glee from playing like kids again.
âYou know, Iâve never been able to use chopsticks,â Eddie notes vaguely as they settle in to start eating.
âReally?â Steve asks, all curious and amused. âI could teach you, if you want.â
Eddie looks over at him, surprised. âWould you really?â
Steve shrugs. âSure, why not. Câmere.â
So thatâs how Eddie finds himself, sitting in front of Steve, his ass barely hanging onto the edge of the couch, Steveâs thighs bracketing his hips. Eddieâs not sure this is an entirely foolproof method, but he doesnât argue when Steve tells him where to sit.
âAlright, so, you just hold the bottom one steady like this,â Steve explains, demonstrating on his own hand. âAnd then the top one is used like a pincer. You just use it to pinch your food.â
Eddie nods, turning his head so that Steve will be able to hear him. âSounds simple enough.â
Steve smiles, reaching for his hand. âAlright, let me show you how to hold it.â He goes through the whole routine again, this time positioning the chopsticks between Eddieâs fingers instead of his own. âOkay, now try to get a piece of chicken.â
Eddie reaches forward, but nearly slides off the couch in the process. âMan, I donât think this is the best seating arrangement youâve ever come up with.â
âHm?â Steve hums against his shoulder, his arm slipping around Eddieâs waist to hold him. Eddieâs not sure this will prevent him from tumbling off the couch, but heâs not about to turn down the almost-cuddle.
âI said I donât think this is the best seating arrangement,â Eddie repeats, turning his head to the side to glance back at Steve. âEven though you make one hell of a seatbelt,â he says with a smirk.
Steve blushes, pinching Eddieâs stomach lightly. âBehave,â Steve says when Eddie squeals. âAnd pick up the chicken! Weâre losing precious daylight hours here.â
Eddie rolls his eyes, even as he leans forward once more to try and use the chopsticks. âFine,â he mumbles. It takes him a few tries, but eventually he does manage to pinch a piece of chicken between the ends of the chopsticks. âLook! I did it!â He cheers, turning quickly in his excitement to show Steve.
Of course, thatâs exactly when the chicken slips out from between the chopsticks, landing on the floor.
Eddie sighs. âFuck this,â he says solemnly, going to put the chopsticks down in exchange for a fork.
âHey,â Steve protests, reaching around him to scoop the chopsticks back up. âJust because youâre trash at it now doesnât mean you canât learn. Here, watch what I do.â Steve carefully leans forward, his arm tightening around Eddieâs chest to hold him still. Eddie feels like he can barely breathe as he watches Steve easily scoop up a piece of chicken with the chopsticks, expertly bringing it out of the bowl without dropping it.
Eddie expects Steve to eat the morsel himself, so heâs surprised when instead, the chopsticks halt in front of his mouth. âHere,â Steve says softly.
He almost wants to tease him, but the fear of breaking the moment altogether forces Eddie to just accept it, opening his mouth and letting Steve feed him. âMm.â
âIs it good?â Steve asks, his hand beginning to trace meaningless shapes on Eddieâs stomach.
âYeah,â Eddie finds himself whispering, his throat feeling a little tight, and not because of the food.
What use are their stupid boundaries about kissing if theyâre going to do shit like this? He wonders.
âWant to try again?â Steve asks.
Eddie shakes his head. âNo, maybe next time.â
âOkay,â Steve says easily enough. Eddie expects him to push him away now, grab a fork and both of them eat like normal people.
Thatâs not what happens.
Instead, Steve shuffles in his seat, lifting up his legs and carefully draping them over Eddieâs. âIs this okay?â He whispers.
Eddie swallows hard, but nods. His idea of âokayâ is so skewed as of now, he really doesnât know what qualifies anymore. âYeah, itâs okay,â he mumbles.
Steve crosses his legs over Eddieâs lap, and if Eddie didnât feel so choked up, heâd probably laugh at the way heâs basically got a human backpack.
âCan you hold my food for me? So I donât have to lean so far?â Steve asks, his arm tightening around Eddieâs chest.
Eddie nods, but glances back at Steve before he grabs the take-out container for him. âAre you sure it wouldnât just be easier to sit beside me?â
Steve blushes. âI mean⌠yeah, it would.â He doesnât say anything else, staring at Eddie with wide, hopeful eyes.
âIâll take that as a no, then,â Eddie laughs, reaching for the take-out container with a hand on one of Steveâs ankles. âHere you go, baby.â
He holds the carton close to Steveâs right hand to make it easier on him, then frowns at his own plate. Heâs not sure exactly how theyâre going to manage it like this, to be honest. Heâs pulled from his thoughts when Steve hums in his ear.
âBite?â Steve says softly, holding out a piece of chicken at the end of his chopsticks.
âOh,â Eddie replies, surprised. âAre you sure? I can just eat mine.â
Steve shrugs, and for a split second, Eddie thinks he feels the briefest press of lips to his shoulder blade. âWe can share,â Steve suggests.
Eddie turns his head just a bit, and their noses brush with the movement. Neither of them move away. âYou just want to steal some of my orange chicken,â Eddie accuses teasingly.
Steve blinks, his eyes wide and innocent. âWho, me?â
And really, what happens next is all Steveâs fault.
He licks his lips, just a quick dart of tongue against chapped pink, and Eddieâs eyes drop to follow the movement, helpless.
When his eyes flick back up to meet Steveâs, the innocent look is gone, replaced by something darker, something more intense. Steve carefully sticks his chopsticks back into the carton of chicken and rice, his thumb coming to rub the back of Eddieâs hand, pushing it towards the table.
âPut it back,â Steve says quietly, no need for volume when his breath is already caressing Eddieâs ear.
Eddie obeys immediately, leaning forward and placing the carton back on the table before attempting to twist in Steveâs grip, desperate to face him, to see what will happen next. âSteve,â Eddie murmurs, a little annoyed at the lack of movement heâs being allowed.
Steve doesnât let him struggle for long. He wiggles to the side of Eddie, pulling his left leg with him as he goes. Eddie hears himself whine sadly, but before he can lament the loss of Steveâs warmth properly, heâs shifting again, and suddenly Eddie has a lapful of Steve Harrington.
âUm,â Eddie says, very eloquently. Thank you, English degree.
Steve is staring down at him from his new perch, his eyes a little wild. His hands are shaking a bit as he brings them up to rest on Eddieâs shoulders, but his voice is calm when he speaks. âI know we decided this was a bad idea,â he says, his voice strong and even. âBut, I also think that if I donât kiss you within the next five minutes, I might die.â
Eddie cracks a grin at that. âYou think so?â
Steve nods solemnly. âYou can tell me to fuck off if you really donât want to,â he whispers, leaning in close and brushing his lips against Eddieâs cheek, right where it dimples. âBut I⌠Iâve been thinking about it all day, andâŚâ he pauses, pulling back just a fraction. âI happened to be looking at the student handbook for the university.â
Eddie quirks an eyebrow at that. âOh? You just happened to be looking at that?â
Steveâs face is definitely a little pink, but he nods, apparently committed to that version of the story. âYes. And it says that student/professor relationships are frowned upon, but not technically illegal.â
âOh yeah?â Eddieâs heart is racing. Heâs certain heâs got this deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, one that Steve must be able to read as clear as day, even with the reading difficulties he definitely possesses.
âYeah,â Steve nods. âAnd since youâre not technically my professorâŚâ His lips drag down Eddieâs jaw, nipping gently when he gets close to Eddieâs ear. âAnd if this is just sex, not a relationshipâŚâ
Eddieâs stomach drops a little at that, and not in a sexy way. âOh,â he says, struggling to keep the disappointment out of his voice. But of course it wouldnât be anything past sex - Steve is young, attractive, a star member of the universityâs basketball team. He could get anyone he wants to be in a relationship with him, of course he wouldnât want Eddie. And as pathetic as it makes him, and as much as it hurts⌠he knows heâs going to let Steve have this. Heâs going to give him what he wants, and when heâs through with him, Eddie will allow himself to be tossed aside like trash, even though heâs already halfway in love with the guy.
But itâs that love, that endless well of adoration and desire, that makes Eddie say, âokay.â
Even though it hurts.
âYeah?â Steve mumbles against his jaw.
Even though it fucking stings.
âYeah,â Eddie whispers back.
He lets that be the end of their exchanging of words, reaching a hand up into Steveâs hair to gently tilt his head, guiding their lips together in a deep, wet kiss. Steve makes a soft noise into the touch, and Eddieâs other hand falls down to rest on his hip, squeezing gently. His mouth moves softly against Steveâs at first, craving the tenderness of a kiss that he knows is living on borrowed time.
âFuck,â Steve whispers against his mouth, pulling back just a little. âDo you think we could- would you-â He stumbles over his words, making a frustrated noise before rutting his hips down into Eddieâs, making him groan loudly.
âSteve,â Eddie says through gritted teeth. âFuck. Donât- you shouldnât do that.â
Steve whines, looking down at him with wide, pitiful eyes. âWhy not?â He asks. Heâs definitely pouting.
Eddie drops his head back against the couch, overwhelmed with the feeling of Steve in his lap and all his blood rushing south. âGod. I donât know,â Eddie whines back, clutching at Steveâs hips desperately. He scrambles to think of something, anything, to postpone this, even for a few minutes. âOur food,â he finally says, blinking up at Steve.
Steve raises his eyebrows. âOur food?â He asks.
âItâll⌠get cold,â Eddie finishes lamely.
Steve snorts, and his lips work into a grin. âFuck the food, youâve got a microwave.â
He dives back in for a kiss again, and really, Eddie canât argue with that logic. His hands map a path from Steveâs hips to the back pockets of his jeans, and heâs not shy about sticking his hands in there to squeeze a good handful. âFuck, babe,â he groans, Steve nipping at his lips. âSuch a nice ass,â he mumbles, tilting his head to catch Steveâs lips again.
Steve pulls back, making Eddie whine loudly. Heâd be embarrassed if he had any blood left in his brain to encourage any sort of thought process. Steve grins above him. âYou should see it without the jeans. Iâve been told itâs even better that way.â Heâs so fucking smug about it that Eddie has to pull his stupid face in for another bruising kiss, more than a little jealous at the mere suggestion that anyone else is seeing Steveâs ass enough to have an opinion.
And thatâs stupid, not to mention possessive, of Eddie to even think that, but here they are. He squeezes Steveâs ass again before pulling his hands out of his pockets, bringing his hands around to undo his button and zipper. âAre you sure?â Eddie asks, pausing there, giving Steve every chance to back out. âYou can always change your mind, Stevie.â
Eddie isnât sure what heâs expecting Steve to say to that, but it definitely isnât a huffy, âI know what I want, Eddie.â
âOkay,â Eddie says softly, leaning in and kissing his cheek. âTell me, then. What do you want?â
At that, Steveâs cheeks go a little red, though Eddie canât for the life of him fathom why. Itâs not like Steve has been shy up until this point. âIâŚâ Steve trails off, but begins moving his hips in short little bursts of movement. âI want you to touch me.â
Eddie grins, and decides that if this is the only time he gets to have this, he can be a little mean. âTouch you where, baby?â
Steve whines, high in his throat. âEddie,â he says softly. âDonât be mean.â
And Eddie canât help but kiss him for that. âSorry,â he lies against his mouth. âShould we maybe go to my room? Or do you wanna do this on the couch?â
Steve freezes in his lap, which makes Eddie pull away instantly, looking up into his face for any sign of regret. âUmâŚâ Steve starts, avoiding Eddieâs eyes.
âHoney, what is it?â Eddie asks as he rubs a soothing hand up and down Steveâs thigh. âTalk to me.â
âIâm not ready to fuck for real,â Steve says suddenly, the words bursting out of him in a rush of panic.
Eddie gives him a reassuring smile. âOkay,â he says immediately, bringing a hand up to pet Steveâs hair back. âThatâs perfectly fine, baby. Thank you for telling me.â
Steve wiggles in his lap, twin hisses leaving their mouths at the sensation. âI still want to⌠do something, though.â
âOkay,â Eddie says. He pauses, thinking for a minute, before he smiles at Steve. âYou ever jerked off with another guy before, Stevie?â
~~~
Predictably, Steve hasnât done that, so thatâs how they find themselves ten minutes later, both of their jeans and underwear pulled down to their thighs as Eddie strokes them off together with one hand. Itâs incredibly hot, his gaze torn between watching the way his cock almost dwarfs Steveâs in his grip, and admiring the way Steve stares down at their dicks, his mouth wide open in shock.
âDoes it feel pretty good, baby?â Eddie asks, smirking.
Steve nods dumbly, not a single word escaping his mouth. Heâs blinking sort of rapidly, and Eddie wonders if his contacts are drying out. Normally, heâd stop to ask, but theyâre both too damn close to worry about something like that right now.
Eddie tightens his grip a little, their dicks slippery enough with precome and spit that they slide together, making a disgusting, perfect sound. Eddie groans, flicking his wrist as he brings the both of them closer to the edge, his mind still not entirely wrapped around the fact that this is happening. Theyâre having sex. Literal, cocks touching, sharing breath and spit, sweaty sex.
And Eddie loves it.
He doesnât know how the hell heâs supposed to give it up now that heâs had it, but he knows heâll do whatever Steve wants, always. If he tells him ten minutes from now that he never wants to see Eddie again, Eddie would probably pack his bags. If Steve proposed, Eddie would say yes in a heartbeat.
Basically, thereâs nothing Eddie wouldnât do for him at this point.
âClose, close, close,â Steve chants, dropping his head back, presenting his neck to Eddie as he loses himself in the pleasure.
Eddie takes that as an opportunity to tilt forward, kissing and biting at the exposed column of Steveâs neck like his life depends on it. âGonna come?â He mouths against Steveâs Adamâs apple.
âYes, yes, Eddie, fuck, please,â Steve whines, his hips undulating as he tries to fuck himself against Eddieâs cock and the palm of his hand.
âHm, if youâre good, Iâll let you come,â Eddie teases, slowing his stroking. He kisses his way up Steveâs throat, nibbling a little at his ear. âAre you gonna be good?â
âYes, âm good, Iâll be sâgood,â Steve pants. âPlease!â
Eddie rewards him with picking up the pace and sucking a little mark under his ear, which makes him shudder. âMm, so good using your manners, baby,â Eddie says, his voice breathy as he tries to stave off his own climax long enough for Steve to get his. âCome for me, babe. Make a mess.â
Apparently, thatâs all it takes, and Steve is shooting off against their chests, the head of his dick nestled against the edge of Eddieâs. Something about it, the look on his face, the pulsing of Steveâs dick against his, or maybe the feeling of Steveâs come dripping down his cock, makes Eddie reach his. He comes so hard he almost thinks heâs going to black out, and he knows thatâs all Steve.
âFuck,â Steve whimpers, collapsing forward against Eddieâs chest, his head resting on Eddieâs shoulder. âThat was so fucking hot,â he says with a light sigh, his body totally relaxed now.
Eddie laughs, his bones feeling like jello as he slumps against the couch, running his clean hand through Steveâs hair. âDid you like it?â He asks, a little nervous for the answer, despite the physical reaction heâd gotten out of Steve.
Steve snorts. âDid I like it?â He mocks, his eyes crinkling when he smiles at Eddie. âOf course I did. That was possibly the hottest thing thatâs ever happened to me.â
And that makes Eddie nearly preen with pride. âGood,â he says. Heâs still holding his right hand at an awkward angle, trying not to touch Steve with the same hand he used to jerk them both off. He glances down at Steve, who appears to be perfectly content staying there, with no sign that he intends to move anytime soon. âHey, babe,â Eddie murmurs softly.
Steve makes a humming noise. âYeah?â
Eddie kisses the top of his head. âHow about we go get cleaned up? Would that be okay?â
âBut Iâm so comfy,â Steve protests weakly. He snuggles further into Eddie then, as if heâs proving his point. Instead, all this does is squish their soft cocks together and smears the come on their shirts.
âI know, but weâre kind of disgusting right now. And you canât go home with your shirt looking like that,â Eddie explains.
Steve leans back a little, chewing his lip as he studies Eddie, a nervous tic. âCan I sleep here?â
Eddie blinks at him. âUh⌠here as in⌠like on my couch?â
Steveâs face flickers with disappointment, but he shrugs. âEr, yeah, if thatâs what you, um⌠yeah, thatâs okay.â He stutters through what sounds like a couple different half-sentences, and Eddie canât help but smile at him.
âOkay. Yeah, you can stay,â he says. Heâd love it if Steve would just sleep in his bed, but heâs not sure that he would be comfortable with that idea. He puts the thought out of his mind, patting Steveâs back. âOkay, letâs go get cleaned, bud. And then Iâll make up the couch for you, and we can actually eat our dinner.â
Steve sighs quietly, and Eddie thinks for a terrible moment that he might change his mind, but then he says, âokay,â and shoves himself up to his feet. He looks down at his shirt, stained with both of their releases, and grimaces. âUh, have you got a shirt I can borrow?â Steve asks.
Eddie has a very brief vision of Steve, wandering around wearing his clothes. Not even in a sexy way; no, heâs imagining Steve going to class, Eddieâs favorite Metallica tee hugging his broad shoulders. He wonders if everyone in the class would realize it wasnât Steveâs shirt.
âYeah,â he croaks out when he realizes Steve is staring at him, waiting. âYeah, um. We can- thereâs clothes in my room,â he says, feeling dumb for even saying that. Obviously thatâs where his clothes are. God, heâs stupid.
Steve gives him a little smirk. âLead the way,â he says easily, stepping back and waving his hand with a flourish.
Eddie shoves himself off the sofa, tucking himself back into his underwear but leaving his jeans unbuttoned. It feels like a lot to make the trip to his room like this, fucked out and filthy, with Steve Harrington trailing behind him, humming fucking - âSteve, is that ABBA?â Eddie asks, tilting his head back enough to look at him, allowing every bit of judgment to seep into his expression.
âUh,â Steve stalls, and Eddie feels him step on his heel, probably on purpose. âMaybe.â
Eddie shakes his head as he tugs off his shirt, chucking it at the laundry basket in the corner of his bedroom as he steps inside. âCanât believe youâre singing ABBA in this household. Thatâs basically sacrilege, you know.â He pilfers through his drawer of all his best band t-shirts, plucking out his very favorite and tossing it to Steve. âDonât lose this, itâs my favorite,â he warns loudly without looking at him, going back to find himself something.
âOh, I donât- you donât have to give me your favorite shirt, Eddie,â Steve says, despite the fact that heâs putting it on when Eddie turns around. âIâd wear whatever, really.â
And damn, Eddie was right. It really is a sight to see, Steve stood there in his t-shirt, looking at Eddie with those big beautiful eyes. If Eddie wasnât so spent, his cock would probably be twitching in his pants.
âItâs fine,â he says, shucking off his jeans and grabbing a pair of sweatpants for each of them. âI wanted to see King Steve in a peasantâs clothing, at least once,â he jokes. Heâs not sure Steve even remembers that, the whole âKing Steveâ joke from their high school days, but he doesnât see the harm in it.
That is, until he catches a look at Steveâs devastated face.
âStevie?â he asks softly, stepping closer to him. âDid I- what did I say?â
Steve shakes his head, dragging in a deep, shuddering breath. âN-nothing. Just⌠donât call me that.â His voice is low, but serious, even as he adds a softer, âplease.â
Eddie reaches out, relieved when Steve doesnât flinch away from the contact. He grips his elbow, rubbing his thumb along the inside crease, and waits for Steve to meet his gaze. âOkay,â he says quietly, watching Steve as he watches his mouth. âIâm sorry, Steve. I didnât think about it.â
Steve nods, and Eddie canât help but coo when he steps closer for a hug. âSorry,â Steve mumbles against his shoulder. âHate beinâ sensitive about shit like that, but-â
âHey, no,â Eddie says, pulling away just enough to get a good look at his face. âI want you to tell me when I cross a line, okay? Because sometimes I donât realize it. Always tell me, alright?â He kisses Steveâs hair, subtle enough that hopefully he doesnât even notice it.
âOkay,â Steve says quietly before tugging out of his embrace. Itâs sooner than what Eddie prefers, and he aches to have him back in his arms the moment Steve is missing from them. He realizes heâs still just standing there in nothing but his ruined t-shirt and boxers, and the distinct embarrassment of being half-naked while Steve is fully dressed is enough to kick him into gear.
âHere,â Eddie says, holding out the extra pair of sweatpants after heâs tugged his own up his legs. âUnless you want to just sleep in your underwear,â he says, trying not to meet Steveâs eyes.
âThese are fine, thanks,â Steve replies, and Eddie forces himself to look away when Steve begins tugging his jeans off.
A few minutes later, theyâre both dressed in far more comfortable attire, and Eddie is starving. He leads the way back down the hall to the living room, scooping up their boxes of food and taking it straight to the kitchen to be reheated.
âWeâll have to start the movie over,â Steve says from behind him. When Eddie glances over his shoulder, he finds Steve standing there with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorway between the kitchen and living room.
Eddie grins as he sets the timer on the microwave. âYouâre a man after my own heart, Stevie. I figured youâd try to pull the wool over my eyes and pretend youâd been paying attention the whole time.â
Steve rolls his eyes, but itâs playful. âHard to pay attention when Iâve got you coming all over my cock, hotshot,â he says, smirking.
Eddie gulps, almost choking on his own spit as he turns to stare at the food rotating in the microwave. Heâs not sure how to come back from that one, his brain moving too slowly in the wake of a good orgasm to even come up with a smooth retort. âWell,â Eddie says after an awkward moment of silence. âThis time we have to pay attention to the movie. No distractions.â
The microwave beeps, and he carefully takes out the boxes, turning to find the smirk on Steveâs face hasnât lessened. âNo distractions. Scoutâs honor.â
~~~
Scoutâs honor, my ass, Eddie thinks nearly an hour later.
Theyâve long since finished their food, and although Steve had managed to follow along the first part of the movie with minimal questions, Eddie can tell heâs losing patience, wiggling in his seat and casting glances at Eddie repeatedly. Eddie was serious though, he doesnât stand for menial interruptions during Lord of the Rings time, and wonât pause it for anything less than an emergency.
âEddie,â Steve whispers after another ten or so minutes of fidgeting.
Of course, hearing his soft voice, all of Eddieâs concerns fly straight out the window. He turns to him with a little smile, raising his eyebrows. âYeah?â
Steve picks at a loose string at the seam of his borrowed sweatpants. âCan you pause it for just a second? I need to brush my teeth and stuff, in case I fall asleep.â
Eddie gives him a playful glare. âYou canât fall asleep during the movie, itâs against the rules!â
Steve rolls his eyes, but drops his head back and whines, playing along perfectly. âBut Iâm so sleepy,â he argues, batting those pretty little eyes at Eddie.
And of course Eddie canât argue with that. âOkay, fine. Iâve probably got a spare toothbrush somewhere.â He starts to shove himself off the sofa, but Steveâs voice stops him.
âOh, thatâs okay, Iâve got one.â
Eddie pauses, turning slowly to look at Steve. Heâs trying so, so hard not to grin. âYou just happened to bring one with you?â He drawls, quirking an eyebrow at him.
Steveâs cheekbones flush with color, and Eddie canât help but poke at them playfully. âYes, I did,â Steve says petulantly, slapping Eddieâs pestering hands away.
âBut you didnât know you were staying the night,â Eddie says, feigning confusion.
Steve groans, finally breaking. He covers his face, but Eddie doesnât let that last long, reaching forward and uncovering those beautiful hazel eyes immediately. âI didnât, but I⌠I knew I was going to ask.â
Eddie coos at that, canât help it really. âAww, Stevie. How long had you been planning that?â
Apparently thatâs a line heâs hesitant to cross, because Steve just looks away, back to plucking at the errant strings hanging off his borrowed pants. He shrugs, mumbling something that Eddie doesnât quite catch.
âWhat was that, honey?â Eddie asks, reaching out and tugging at the loose thread Steve just released.
Steve sighs, a loud, almost put-upon sort of thing. âI said⌠Iâve had the toothbrush in my bag for like a week.â His face is decidedly pink now, and Eddie is so damn fond.
He knows he should laugh this off and move on, or try to at least, but one look at Steveâs embarrassed but hopeful face makes him bold. âAll you had to do was ask, baby,â he says softly, patting Steveâs knee.
Steve fidgets again, turning so that his knees are pressed to Eddieâs thigh. âBut last time, you acted likeâŚâ he trails off, somehow looking even more embarrassed than he did before. âWell, anyway,â he says, waving his hand dismissively.
Eddie doesnât let it go that easily. âLike what?â He asks quietly, saving space for disappointment or regret, but understanding that this is about Steveâs feelings, not his own.
It takes a few long, awkwardly silent moments for Steve to actually make eye contact and respond. When he does finally look at him, Eddie tries to give him a reassuring smile. âItâs stupid,â Steve says, his gaze flickering between his hands and Eddieâs eyes.
âI seriously doubt that,â Eddie says, trying to be reassuring without being patronizing. âAnd even if it is, I still want to hear it.â
Steve studies his hands very carefully, picking at a hangnail with the utmost precision. He doesnât meet Eddieâs eyes when he finally speaks. âI just feel like⌠like you maybe donât want me around, sometimes.â
Eddie frowns, ducking his head so that he can say his next words with the full certainty that Steve can actually hear them. âStevie, no,â he says firmly. He reaches for Steveâs hands, gently clasping each one in an attempt to get rid of Steveâs distraction. âIâm sorry that I ever made you feel like that.â He hesitates then, uncertain if he should say anything more vulnerable than that. And of course, what he should do very rarely matches up with what heâs going to do, and he finds himself opening his big stupid mouth again. âReally, Steve. I⌠If anything, I want you around more than I probably should.â
Steve sniffles, blinking those sweet hazel eyes up at Eddie with nothing short of doubt lurking in them. âReally?â he asks.
Eddie canât help himself, leaning in and pressing a little kiss to Steveâs forehead. âAlways. I want you around always.â
Heâs not sure what to expect from the confession, but what he gets is Steve sniffling louder, his hand coming up to clutch at the back of Eddieâs neck. For a moment, Eddie panics, thinking Steve is about to pull him into a kiss, a kiss that he knows he wonât be able to put a stop to even if he tries, but instead, he just presses their foreheads together, taking a deep, settling breath. âOkay,â Steve murmurs.
It takes him a moment to collect himself, and even when he does pull away, he doesnât remove his hand immediately. âYou okay now?â Eddie asks.
Steve nods. âYeah. Iâm really sorry, I donât know why I got so⌠I get sort of sappy after sex sometimes.â
âYou donât have to apologize,â Eddie says immediately, shaking his head. âNot for that, and not to me. This is a safe space, remember? You can say anything to me, always.â
A complicated look passes over Steveâs face then, and Eddie has never felt so scrutinized. He can almost imagine Steve walking through the caverns of his brain, inspecting every nook and cranny as he decides whatâs worth keeping and what must be discarded. Eddie shivers, unsettled by the intensity of Steveâs expression, and that seems to be what snaps him out of whatever trance heâs in.
âI need to go brush my teeth,â Steve finally says, effectively breaking the tension.
Eddie feels a twin sense of relief and disappointment at that. It had almost felt like⌠for a moment there, he thought Steve was going to say something else. But surely if he had wanted to say something, he would have. Right?
âOkay,â Eddie replies, scooting away from him on the couch to give him space to go and do what he needs to do. He has a wild, purely self-indulgent thought as Steve is going to grab his bag, and common sense apparently isnât enough to stop him from saying it. âHey, if you want to, you can just leave your toothbrush here. That way youâll have it for next time,â he says, glancing over at Steve and studying him carefully to see his reaction.
Luckily, Steveâs turned mostly towards Eddie, so he doesnât have to repeat himself. Steve glances up at him, and his lips quirk into a shy smile. âOkay,â he says quietly. âIâll put it with yours?â he asks.
Eddie nods, feeling a little giddy himself at the prospect. Which is completely ridiculous - something as stupid and simple as their toothbrushes being placed in the same cup is hardly worth freaking out over. And yet⌠âPerfect,â Eddie says, clearing his throat when his voice cracks.
Steve shuffles off to the bathroom, leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts. Heâs not gone for very long, and Eddie has barely made it through one panic-driven cycle of âgod, this is wrong, heâs my student, and he was uncomfortable with this at first - wait, what changed?â when Steve returns. He yawns widely as he walks in the room, and Eddieâs nose crinkles at the audible sound of his jaw popping.
âEw,â he teases. âYouâre like a snake, unhinging its jaw to eat a baby.â
Steve gives him a very unimpressed look as he settles back into his place on the couch. âSnakes do not eat babies,â he says with an air of such certainty that Eddie almost doesnât want to tease him about it.
âOh but thatâs just what they want you to think!â Eddie says, trying to hide his massive grin.
âSure,â Steve says, rolling his head to the side to give Eddie this little half-amused look. He yawns again, tilting to the side to rest his head on the arm of the sofa, and Eddie realizes how inconsiderate heâs being.
âShit, I forgot, youâre like, actually tired, arenât you?â he asks, moving to get up.
Steveâs eyes widen at that, and he tries to disagree, but Eddie can tell from his weak eyes and his posture that heâs exhausted. âNo, really, we can finish the movie!â Steve tries, gesturing to the television with one hand.
Eddie shakes his head, standing up and clearing the coffee table of their mess. âNah, we can finish it another time, bub. You need some sleep.â He takes the trash to the kitchen, washes his hands, and makes his way back to the living room, where Steve is still half-laying down on the couch. âCâmon, gotta take your contacts out,â he reminds him.
Steve grimaces at that, but sits up. âWill you help me? It still kind of grosses me out to do it on my own.â
âOf course,â Eddie replies. âAre your glasses in your bag?â
âYeah, should be in the case at the top. Contact case is in there, too.â
Eddie dutifully digs it out of the bag, coming to settle on the edge of the coffee table directly in front of Steve once heâs got it. âAlright, hold still,â he murmurs softly before reaching out. Heâs gotten the hang of this in the several times Steve has asked for his help, and heâs definitely better at removing the contacts than he is at putting them in for him, so heâs glad that Steveâs mostly got that part down pat. Now that his brain is on that wave length, a nagging thought from earlier returns to his mind. âSo⌠when you go to the ear doctorâŚâ he starts slowly, then pauses when Steve tenses.
âYeah?â Steve asks when Eddie is quiet for a beat too long.
âIf you donât want to talk about this, we donât have to,â Eddie says softly.
Steve blinks at him, squinting without the assistance of his contacts, and Eddie canât help but find it incredibly adorable. âItâs fine,â Steve says with a shrug. âNo point in beating around the bush. Like⌠Itâs happening.â
Eddie nods. âRight.â He clears his throat and hands Steve his glasses. âBut when it does⌠Are you prepared for them to tell you that you might need something for that? LikeâŚâ He doesnât want to come right out and say it, a little weary of scaring Steve, or just hurting his feelings.
Luckily, he doesnât have to have that concern for long, as Steve fills in the blanks for him. âLike a hearing aid?â he guesses.
Letting out the breath heâd definitely been holding, Eddie says, âyeah. Like that. I know itâs just partial hearing loss⌠Or, well, I think thatâs what it is, but⌠if they say thatâs the best option, are you comfortable with that?â
Steve is quiet for a long time. If he wasnât sitting up, his gaze flickering around the room as he thinks, Eddie would think that heâd fallen asleep. He looks sort of lost, and Eddie canât even begin to imagine what sort of thoughts are racing through his mind. Eventually, his shoulders slump in what Eddie can only describe as resignation, and he sighs. âI⌠I guess Iâll have to be,â he says quietly.
Eddie is quick to do what he does best, jumping in to reassure him. âHey, no. If you donât want to, Iâll press them for another solution. But⌠if itâs that or surgeryâŚâ he gives Steve a sympathetic look.
Steve knocks his ankles against Eddieâs, staring down at their feet. âI donât want people looking at me,â he whispers.
Eddie almost responds with a joke, but he knows better now. He knows how sensitive Steve is about these things (rightfully so) and so he knows that would just make it worse. âWhy do you think they would be looking at you?â Eddie says, trying to choose his words very carefully. âIâm pretty certain they make relatively discreet aids, so people probably wouldnât even notice.â
âMaybe,â Steve says noncommittally with a shrug. âBut⌠I donât want people to look at me⌠and all they see is the glasses and a hearing aid. EspeciallyâŚâ he rolls his eyes, mostly at himself, and gives Eddie a sardonic smile. âThis is stupid, but like⌠I really donât want people coming to our basketball games and saying, like⌠âOh, there goes that deaf kid, who canât see the ball coming at his face! And did you know he canât fucking read?â LikeâŚâ he shakes his head. âI donât want that to be my legacy.â
And Eddie doesnât really get it, not really. Heâs not a member of any sport or club, and even being in a band, he doesnât think heâs ever particularly given a shit what people thought of him, even though he is a little different, but he supposes thatâs just the difference in their personalities. He tries to level with him, and see it through his eyes. âYeahâŚâ Eddie says slowly. âBut baby,â he leans in, putting his hands on Steveâs knees and squeezing. âThatâs not going to be your legacy. People are going to remember you because you were an amazing player, yeah, but you know what Iâll remember about you?â
Steve almost seems shy when he asks, âwhat?â
Eddie smiles at him, reaching up and tucking his hair over his ear. âIâll remember that you were kind. And hardworking.â He begins counting things off using Steveâs fingers. âHonest, caring, funny, smart.â
Steveâs eyes are wet. âEddie,â he says softly, like heâs denying it.
Eddie shakes his head, bringing his hand up to his mouth to kiss his palm. âIâm going to remember that you were brave,â he says gently, holding Steveâs gaze. âThat you came to me and Murray for extra help, even though you were embarrassed. That you came back to me, even when I had fucked up and said everything wrong, because you chose to be brave enough to let someone help you.â He brushes his lips across Steveâs knuckles. âIâm not going to remember you for your glasses, or for having something in your ear, if thatâs what they decide to do. Iâm going to remember you, Steve.â
He means it to be reassuring, a pep talk of sorts, but Steve is fully crying by the end of it.
Great. Scratch âmotivational speakerâ off any potential future career plans.
At first he canât tell if theyâre sad tears or not, but then Steve is lurching forward, wrapping his arms around Eddieâs neck and muffling his tears against his shoulder. It takes him a few minutes of sniffling to get it under control, but Eddie gives him that time, holding him in a loose embrace and stroking his back gently. âSorry,â Steve mumbles, not so subtly wiping his nose against Eddieâs shirt. âThat was just - really fucking sweet, Eddie. IâŚâ He pulls out of his grip for just a moment, giving him a shaky smile. âThank you. I really needed that.â
Eddie kisses his cheek. âNo problem. Iâm always here when you need a pep talk. And maybe next time I wonât make you cry,â he jokes softly, thumbing at a stray tear on Steveâs cheek.
Steve just laughs, naturally good-natured about that. âYeah, weâll see,â he teases.
Eddie gives him another warm smile before sighing and standing up. âLet me go get you a couple of blankets, yeah?â
Something like disappointment flashes across Steveâs face for a second, but then heâs nodding, watching Eddie disappear down the hall. When he returns with a stack of blankets and a pillow, Steve offers a little half-smile. âThanks,â he says, watching Eddie as he spreads a sheet across the couch, fluffing a pillow up at one end.
âYou want me to tuck you in, baby?â Eddie asks, mostly joking.
Steve gives him that sweet smile, his eyelashes batting softly against his cheekbones as he nods. âYeah, that would be nice, actually.â
Itâs decidedly innocent, and means nothing more than Steve just being silly and seeking some form of comfort, but for some reason, Eddieâs face heats up. âOkay,â he says after an awkward pause. âUm⌠Lay down?â
Steve does just that, scooting around until heâs resting his head against the pillow, his glasses going a bit wonky on his face. âCan you-â he starts, turning his head a bit.
Eddie nods, reaching out and sliding the frames off Steveâs nose and setting them on the coffee table. âBetter?â
âYeah,â Steve says softly. Heâs looking up at Eddie with those big doe eyes, and Eddie has to force himself to look away.
He drapes the fuzzy blanket over Steve first, followed by a quilt his grandmother had made before he was ever born. Itâs old and is made up entirely of mis-matched patches of plaid and denim, but itâs probably the most sentimental item he owns. âWarm enough?â
Steve nods. âMhm.â He looks awful cozy in his spot, and Eddie allows himself to be selfish one more time for the night as he leans in and presses a kiss to his forehead.
âAlright. Goodnight, bub. If you need anything, Iâm just down the hall,â Eddie says, giving Steve one last look-over to make sure heâs as snug as he can be. He waits for Steveâs quiet hum of agreement, and then heâs retreating to his bedroom, giving Steve one last look over his shoulder before he disappears from his view for the night.
Behind the almost-closed door, Eddie sighs. God, he wishes heâd just have the guts to ask Steve to sleep in here, with him. Not in a sexual way or anything - no, Eddie just wanted to know what it would be like to cuddle with him for a night, to wake up wrapped in each otherâs arms. He huffs and puffs to himself as he crawls into his lonely, empty bed, glaring up at the ceiling as soon as his head hits the pillow. Itâs not fair, really. Steve being so close, yet so far away. Perfectly within reach, but also very much inaccessible.
He sighs again, louder this time, as if anyone will hear his passive-aggressive moping.
It occurs to him, vaguely, that he could just go right back down the hall and ask Steve if heâd like to sleep in a real bed rather than the couch. And honestly, even if he says no, what does Eddie have to lose? Itâs not like Steveâs going to leave in the middle of the night. Then again, Eddie would hate to even make him uncomfortable enough to even think about that⌠He goes back and forth several times before ultimately deciding - fuck it. Nothing to lose, might as well give it a shot.
He crosses the space between his bed and the door quickly and quietly, a singular thought in his mind as he reaches for the doorknob.
Eddie has just barely pulled the door open when he bumps into something - or rather, someone.
âOh, shit, I-â he starts to apologize immediately, then pauses when he registers that of course itâs Steve standing in front of his door. His face is drawn comically around an expression of panic, and Eddie tilts his head at him curiously. âOh. What were youâŚâ he trails off. It would be a little hypocritical of him to start asking questions about motives now, considering what he was just on his way to do himself.
âUm,â Steve says, his eyes wide. Eddie probably nearly gave him a heart attack, swinging the door open like that before the poor guy could even get the chance to knock. âI got⌠scared?â he tries, the words coming out more like a question than any real statement of fact.
Eddie canât help his instinct to tease. Crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame, he says, âoh, did you?â
Steve blushes. âUm⌠yeah. Itâs like⌠really dark in there, and⌠and your fridge makes weird noises, andâŚâ
âHm,â Eddie says, sucking at his teeth like heâs considering the issue. âWell, thatâs no good. I canât possibly leave you out there all alone to fend for yourself against the⌠fridge noises.â He canât help but grin as he says it, and canât bother regretting it when Steve just blushes harder.
He half-expects Steve to give it up then, out of embarrassment if nothing else, but if thereâs one thing about him, itâs that heâll always see something through. Instead, he just nods, casting a weary glance back down the hall. In doing that, Eddie finally notices that Steveâs got the quilt wrapped around his shoulders. Cute.
âYeah, it would be really⌠really irresponsible for you to leave me out there all alone. I think Iâd be way safer if IâŚâ he seems to lose confidence then, but the longing glance he sends to Eddieâs bed over his shoulder makes his intentions crystal clear.
âI think youâll just have to sleep in here with me tonight,â Eddie says, feigning disappointment. âWell, come on, then. I hear the fridge likes to claim its victims this time of night,â he says with a grin, gesturing for Steve to come into his bedroom.
Steve makes it a few steps towards his bed before he turns around, giving Eddie an almost desperate look. âYou donât mind me being in here, do you? Because, like, I can sleep by myself! I just-â
Eddie reaches for him, pulling him in via a tug on the quilt. âHoney. I promise I donât mind. ActuallyâŚâ He laughs at himself, shaking his head. âThatâs why I was already at my door. I was actually about to come in there and ask if you wanted to sleep in here with me. I felt so guilty leaving you in there with just some blankets and a pillow.â
Steveâs face, which had brightened a little at the confession, falls again by the time Eddie finishes speaking. âOh,â he says, glancing down. âWell, I mean, I donât mind. I can sleep on the couch, I really donât have to-â
âStevie,â Eddie says, his voice full of exasperation. âBaby, I want you to sleep in here with me. IâŚâ he hesitates, feeling that familiar uncertainty that comes with the prospect of being vulnerable to Steve in some way. âI think it would be nice, to not be alone, and⌠and it would be even better if it was you I was being not-alone with.â
âOh,â Steve repeats, his voice even softer now. âOkay, then. Should we, umâŚâ He glances at the bed, but his gaze doesnât linger. Instead it darts all over the room, taking everything in as if he believes itâll be the last time he sees it. Eddie hopes, selfishly, that itâs not.
âLetâs go to bed,â Eddie says, nodding. He uses his grip on Steveâs quilt-cape to guide him to the bed, walking backwards himself until the back of his knees hit the mattress. He releases Steve just long enough to crawl up onto the bed, patting the empty space beside him as he wiggles under the covers. âCâmon, I donât bite,â he says, grinning at Steve. âWell, much.â
Steve rolls his eyes, but crawls onto the bed, keeping the quilt wrapped around his shoulders like heâs some kind of little caterpillar. Eddie helps him under the actual sheets and comforter, but Steve seems to have no intentions of letting go of the quilt anytime soon.
Once theyâre settled, both of them on their sides facing each other, Eddie yawns. His jaw pops, and they share a grin at the sound. âLike a snake,â Steve murmurs.
Itâs silly, but Eddieâs heart swells at the reference to his joke from earlier. âLike a snake,â he echoes.
Steveâs eyes are drooping with exhaustion, and Eddie knows itâs just a matter of time before he loses him to the clutches of sleep. His throat sticks with words he shouldnât even feel the urge to say, and he clears his throat a few times in an attempt to speak.
âGoodnight, Eddie,â Steve whispers, beating him to the punch.
Eddie nods, feeling ridiculous at the swell of emotion that rises in his throat. Oh, god. Heâs really got it bad for him, thereâs no way around it.
âGoodnight, Stevie. Sweet dreams.â
Eddie doesnât sleep a wink.














