Ah, Swords, Nature's Knives

getting fired from my position as the emperor’s food tester because I keep taking too large of bites

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

They evolved to handle different prey. the larger crusher claw cracks open ahrder prey like a molar tooth, whilst the smaller pincer claw rips apart soft prey similar to an incisor tooth.

theyre lobsided

oh I see! yay!

the skill of going "jesus i just dont fucking care" and scrolling on

"why is my mental health so bad" -> oh yeah I haven't gazed fondly at a large body of water in a month

u don't think about T being near the end of the alphabet, but it is. TUVWXYZ. T and U are the last holdouts against those monsters.

One thing they don’t tell you about sewing is that it is actually ironing

And math

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve loved information

Taking the red hats off of half a dozen gnomes and loading them carefully, tearfully, into a revolver.

runs away as fast as fuckign possible coughing and and hacking and wheezing and crying