The Reblogs are Escaping!

the first thing that stands out to me is that SQQ initiates more often than you'd think! even if he claims he's only having sex for Binghe's sake, he's often the one taking the first step. in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, he's the one who suggests "exploring together" after Bingge leaves, he's the one who take's Binghe's pants off, he's the one who initiates the first sexual act (attempting to jerk Binghe off). perhaps most famously, in the Deep Dream extra, he initiates pretty much every step of the process -- pulling Binghe down and kissing him, undressing Binghe and pulling his hand to his own chest, flipping Binghe over to straddle him. in the Honeymoon extra, he offers to grant Binghe one request (which leads to the binding cables suggestion)

perhaps connected to SQQ often being the one to initiate, Binghe is extremely cautious about pushing him past his boundaries, especially early on. he's very nervous during the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra because the memory of Maigu Ridge is still weighing on him heavily, and he watches SQQ's expressions very closely to make sure he's feeling good. the one time he's not watching his face in that extra is when he's pushing in, at which point he checks in verbally to make sure SQQ feels okay -- when he looks up and realizes SQQ was lying and is in pain, he's absolutely distraught and immediately tries to pull out. making sure SQQ feels good is extremely important to him, he doesn't want him to be in pain or doing something he doesn't want to do. in the Deep Dream extra, he's holding himself back and behaving cautiously because he doesn't want to push him too far, and it isn't until SQQ explicitly expresses his desire that he says he might not be able to control himself. in the RPF/ass wine chapter, he says he would never force SQQ to have sex, and when SQQ initially turns down his suggestion to try things out from the books, he's disappointed but doesn't push it. again, it says he's very cautious when they have sex. a quote from that extra that I think sums it up nicely is:

Luo Binghe had never made any requests of him when it came to these matters. Because of his lackluster skill, he was always cautious in the extreme, and he even somewhat capitulated to Shen Qingqiu. Now he had finally acquired some instructional materials and found a bit of self-confidence, hoping to try them out together, only for Shen Qingqiu to toss a basin of cold water over his head...

in general, he follows SQQ's instructions closely, and the only times he doesn't really listen to him are when it's the heat of the moment and SQQ is asking him to slow down. his number one rule for sex is that SQQ has to tell him if it hurts, no matter what, which shows how important it is to him that SQQ feels good. once their relationship progresses, it seems like he gets a little more confident about cajoling SQQ into sex -- he complains when SQQ turns him down about the binding cables, and he acts pitiful to convince him to let him lay down a white sheet on their wedding night -- but to me, that just seems like he's gotten better at knowing what SQQ likes. after all, SQQ straight up says in the questionnaire extra that what makes his heart race the most is when Binghe cries and begs for something!

on that note, SQQ is very weak to Binghe's tears and is especially obsessed with how cute he finds him. when Binghe is all bashful while SQQ takes off his pants in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, SQQ scratches under his chin because he thinks he's adorable. his heart melts every time Binghe cries, especially when what Binghe is whining for is something romantic. when Binghe says he doesn't want to turn out like Bingge, he cradles Binghe's head to his chest and pets his hair while comforting him

I've joked that SQQ needs to embrace the dom/sub potential in their relationship, but after doing this close reading, it's clear to me that he's already gentle domming Binghe and doesn't realize it. he frequently points out Binghe's obedience as one of his good traits, he likes it when Binghe cries and begs, his idea of how to best please Binghe is to praise him for improving. Binghe, similarly, really enjoys being the sub to SQQ's dom. he follows SQQ's instructions closely when he's giving him directions, he says what makes his heart race the most is when SQQ pats his head/gives him instructions/scolds him/hits him, when he's told about S&M he bashfully says he'd enjoy anything SQQ did to him. clearly, this is a dynamic they both enjoy, they just haven't put words to it

I'd say they need to be taught about the idea of a service top/dom bottom, but even that doesn't capture the full picture because those top/bottom roles aren't set in stone! we all know about Binghe offering to bottom and SQQ turning him down, but on my close reread, it became more clear to me that SQQ is not entirely opposed to the idea -- he just didn't want their first real time to involve him topping. he's moved by the suggestion because he knows it's motivated by Binghe's desire to not hurt him, and he notes that there will be other opportunities in the future, meaning he's not completely ruling the idea out! in the Questionnaire extra, when SQH asks how they decided who tops, SQQ genuinely has to think about it for a second and then says it just kind of happened and it was because Binghe looked pitiful. so he could definitely be persuaded to top! Binghe probably just needs to exploit those tears, and SQQ will fold immediately lol

those are the broad themes in their sex scenes, but here's a few more assorted details about their habits in sex in case anyone wants to throw these in their fics for flavor:

Binghe loves having his mouth on SQQ <3 yes that means (bad) kissing, but also lots of licking and biting. he licks his throat, bites his nipples, kisses and bites his earlobes, bites his shoulder, kisses his eyelashes and cheeks. he wants his mouth on whatever inch of skin he can get to lol

SQQ also really likes kissing him! he complains that Binghe doesn't know how to kiss, but frequently he kisses all over Binghe's face -- he kisses away his tears on his eyes and cheeks, and he kisses all over Binghe's face when he's overwhelmed in the Wedding extra. actually, I want to include that quote because SQQ is never allowed to act like he doesn't enjoy sex with his husband ever again:

Their limbs were intertwined, both of them sticky with hot sweat. Luo Binghe's waist and back shone with moisture, and Shen Qingqiu nearly couldn't hold on with his legs alone, so he hooked his arms around Luo Binghe's neck to stop himself from sliding down. This drew them even closer, until the space between them was practically nonexistent, and he left a smattering of passionate kisses on Luo Binghe's face in encouragement.

as seen in this quote and other scenes, when SQQ is overwhelmed his impulse is to cling to Binghe, usually by clinging to him with all his limbs like a koala but sometimes by just grabbing his arm or grabbing his hair. he complains when Binghe says he wants to be deeper in the ass wine chapter, but clearly he also wants to be as close as possible!

despite SQQ's requests to do it from behind, they both prefer face to face (SQQ asks to turn around in the ass wine chapter) and their favorite position seems to be SQQ straddling Binghe's lap. in fact, that's often the position SQQ puts himself in when taking charge! when Binghe tries to pull out in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, SQQ flips them over and sits on him, which is also the position they end up in when he's taking the lead in the Deep Dream extra. they also end up like this in the Wedding extra!

this seems to be the position that's the most pleasurable for SQQ, since that's the point when he starts feeling really good in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra and in the Wedding extra. their sex does frequently hurt at first due to Binghe's size, but in these two scenes he ends up described as "drunk on lust" and crying out in pleasure, so he's definitely enjoying himself more than he lets on! he's also feeling really good in the ass wine extra.

Binghe does, in fact, know what lube and prep is. he sticks his fingers in SQQ's mouth in the Wedding extra to lube them up, which isn't the most effective method, but in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, his fingers are mysteriously lubed up when he starts fingering SQQ. this wasn't something SQQ thought of! Binghe seems to know more about safe sex practices than SQQ lol

Binghe is not the only one crying during sex. while his tears are usually either crocodile tears or due to intense emotions, SQQ is also often crying due to pain or being overwhelmed

SQQ often tries to bite back any noises, and Binghe extremely pleased whenever he gets SQQ to the point of being actually vocal