Queerplatonic (adjective) is "a term for an intimate, non-romantic committed relationship. It typically goes beyond what is considered normal or socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but is not romantic in nature or does not fully fit the traditional idea of a romantic relationship."

The term was coined in a thread on DreamWidth in December 2010 by s.e. smith, also known as meloukhia. They later posted the definition of the term in a Tumblr post. s.e. smith is a journalist, essayist, and author, as well as one of the cofounders of Flytrap Media. Their Tumblr blog is no longer active, but they do have a website that includes links to their published books and articles.

Okay... I know what you're thinking.

Why is a polyamory blog posting about an aromantic term?

The term "queerplatonic" isn't just for aromantic people. In their coining post, smith made it clear that queerplatonic relationships and attraction are intended for anyone to use: "Anyone, sexual or asexual, romantic or aromantic, straight, gay, queer, bi, lesbian, poly, cis, trans, etc etc can be in a queerplatonic relationship, can have more than one such relationship, and there can be more than two people in a queerplatonic relationship; couples, triads, quads, whatever." The point of the term isn't to provide a substitute for romance for aromantic people; it's to describe a type of relationship/attraction that already existed in the real world among people of all romantic orientations.

Queerplatonic relationships challenge amatonormativity, just like non-monogamous relationships do. A large part of practicing non-monogamy is deconstructing amatonormativity, as I've mentioned on this blog before. In the process of doing so, we often find that our feelings and relationships aren't always what they might have seemed from an amatonormative perspective! Polyamorous and ENM folks often find that we build connections with our partners that are shaped or textured differently from the clean-cut monogamous romance we've come to expect. While not every relationship or attraction can be easily labeled, "queerplatonic" is a great term to add to our toolkits because it describes something that doesn't quite fit amatonormative standards.

That's all for this week. Stay tuned for another episode! (Hopefully next week but no promises.)