Me in 2016: I’m still salty about that

Recently, people have been trying to replace buses with smaller buses, known as "taxis." That word feels like it should be short for something, but nobody seems to know what. The idea is that instead of the driver and a bunch of people, it's just the driver and you.

Because a taxi is smaller than a bus, it can go more places. Fits right into weird alleys, or down residential streets, or following a suspicious person during a tense spy caper. Unfortunately, that also makes it way more expensive, because you no longer have a hundred other passengers splitting the bill with you. Also, sometimes the driver insists on making conversation, and you have to find a way to jump out of the car at highway speeds without seeming rude. Tuck and roll!

If there is a problem with the bus, it's that it can't tow your car. Sure, a lot of the new ones have a dingus on the front for carrying a bicycle. And a bicycle only. The driver will get froggy if you try to put in an entire Ford nine-inch rear axle, and even angrier if you try to carry it on the bus during rush hour. That makes it very inconvenient sometimes, which is something I think should be fixed in order to increase transit adoption.

- I knock first

- I try the doorknob first, assuming the door would be locked if it was occupied