mari

date idea: you kill me

the emptiness eats at me and i want to disappear

my heart hurts

Its okay (I cried all night and all day bc of it)

Do you ever just cry in frustration because you feel there's something wrong with you no matter how much you try to fix it?

My life feels like an endless humiliation ritual.

as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

I'm so disgusting I just wanna die. I hate every single photo of me that isn't perfectly staged, I hate every single mention of my name, I hate my voice i hate my body I hate my personality I hate my brain i hate my thoughts i hate the way I speak i hate the way I talk i hate the way I smile i hate it all and I hate how I hate everything

no one genuinely even cares if someone commits suicide. theyll just forget about you in a few days youll just be remembered as a lesson, as a story to pity, as a story to romanticize, because "time fixes everything" they will always find someone to replace you, theyll find a new shinier thing to replace you with, life will always go on no matter if youre there or not, youre just a tiny speck in the billions of people that have lived and died before you. your death will be meaningless