On Va Voir

and david and yuna are just sitting there like

A/N: It seems I really like messing around with languages when it comes to Hollanov. This fic was powered by google translate and the time before my edible hit. I've added in translations, but let me know if they are incorrect, or if the formatting is off.

Shane is lying back on his bed with Ilya propped up above him and slowly fingering him open. Lifting his head from where he was nibbling on Shane's neck, he dragged his lips up and start whispering russian words into his ear.

It's only been a few months post-cottage so while Shane is proud of the progress he is making, his comprehension of the language is not the greatest. But it's enough that Ilya will sometimes switch to russian in the middle of a conversation and see if Shane can work out the meaning.

Ilya's stomach flutters every time he remembers that he can test Shane like this - that the person he loves, loves him in return enough to try and understand Ilya's native tongue.

Shane manages shake off the fog of fuck yes fuck that's good fuck yes yes yes to parcel out the words Ilya just said

"Ty sobirayesh'sya eto vzyat'?"

You going...take

He's saying i'm gonna take something?

Before Shane can respond, Ilya continues, "Ty sobirayesh'sya prinyat' moyego khuy, kak malen'kaya shlyushka?"

You going...??...my...??...as a small...???

Am I going to what? Take? Receive? Suck? Touch? Cum?

Going to something to something of his - am I only getting his fingers? Does he want me to suck his cock? Does he want me to cum on him? Is he asking that I touch him somewhere?

As a little something? What did he call me? A whore? A fag? A cocksucker? A champ? A sweetheart? Did he just call me a canadian slur?

God, Shane wishes his online courses included more dirty word segments. He's been watching movies with russian dialogue and english subtitles - maybe he should start watching porn videos in russian too? Does russian porn come with english subtitles? Will he even be able to find any gay russian porn?

Shane gently pushes Ilya away and shakes his head. "What?"

Ilya's lips pull back into a sharky smile "Ty menya ne ponimayesh', lyubov?"

You me not understand, love?

"No," Shane whimpered "What did you say?"

"Aw, ty chto, ne ponimayesh', chto ya nazyvayu tebya shlyushka?" Ilya says before pressing a chaste kiss against Shane's mouth. Aw, you don't understand that I'm calling you a slut?

Shane doesn't bother trying to translate "Ilya"

Ilya places another chaste kiss against his collarbone before pulling back to stare at Shane with a toothy smile. One that Shane learned to take as an omen that Ilya was about to have fun at his expense.

"Ya mogu nazyvat' tebya kak ugodno, da?" I can call you I want, yes?

Shane whined "Tell me what you're saying..."

Taking his fingers gently out of Shane's ass, he started to place kisses down his chest.

"Ya chto, nazyvayu tebya moya suka?" Kiss Am I calling you my bitch?

"Ili moya vozlyublennyy?" Kiss Or my beloved?

"Moya gryaznaya malen'kaya dyrochka?" Kiss My dirty little hole?

Ilya shifted so he was between Shane's legs and his mouth hovering above his cock. He giggled softly to himself before placing kisses on Shane's balls as he spoke "Mne dazhe ne nuzhno starat'sya byt' seksual'noy. Ya mogu nazvat' tebya liftom, i ty dazhe ne poymesh'.." I don't even have to try to be sexy. I could call you an elevator and you wouldn't even understand.

"Ilya, please" Shane wasn't sure what he was begging for - for Ilya to translate what he's saying, or for Ilya to shut up altogether and use his mouth to start sucking instead.

Ilya did wrap his lips around Shane's dick and started to blow him, but pulled off after a couple of seconds. "Ya mog by nazvat' tebya divanom." I could call you a sofa.

Lips back to sucking him off for a couple of seconds, before pulling back again. "Moya malen'kiy kusochek khleba" My little piece of bread

He went back to sucking off Shane, and pulled off yet again.

"Moya zubnaya shchetka" Back to sucking Shane My toothbrush

"Moya dver'" Back to sucking Shane My door

"Moya khokkeynaya mayka" Back to sucking Shane My hockey jersey

"Moy cherdak" My attic

His lips just grazed the tip of before pulling back again with a chuckle "Nyet, ya dumayu, ty budesh' podval" Back to sucking. No, I guess you would be the basement.

Ilya settled into this new rhythm, satisfied with his new method of tormenting Shane in bed.

Shane held onto Ilya's curls and tried not to moan too loud so that he could still hear Ilya's words.

He distantly thought that if he memorize some of the words he could look them up later. But each time he tried to catch a word, his brain would be wiped clean each time Ilya made his lips extra tight around the head of his cock.

Shane eventually gave up. He would just have to suffer watching straight russian porn to tell if his boyfriend was calling him a cum dumpster or not.

"Moya romashka" My daisy

"Moya podushka" My pillow

"Moya malen'kaya biblioteka"

Shane's head shot up at the familiar sounding word.

because of course shane doesn’t want to come out of course not he’s the golden boy of hockey and he is doing so good, getting such a good grade in being a Man. except is he? shane hollander king of paranoia and shame cannot really perform; he can only lie. every time a reporter asks a question he can’t answer he can only lie, and every lie causes the timer counting down to when he gets caught to tick faster, and his whole life he has been dangling by this tiny thread that he has to work harder and harder to hold onto before he falls and he is splayed open for everyone to see. but isn’t that better? shane knows pain, he can take it. people can dig through his splayed-open body and pick at it and it’ll be fine because anything’s better than trying to hold on to this crumbling thread that he *knows* will break at some point anyway. because being a good man has never been something that he just is; it’s a standard he can chase but can’t catch.

and he loves ilya. he LOVES ilya so fucking much and he’s already made up his mind that it can’t be bad to love someone so beautiful and perfect and Everything. and maybe he’s sick of listening to everyone tell him he’s a hockey robot and trying to fulfill that image; maybe he wants to be soft and love and show everyone that he is tender and vulnerable and that even then, they can’t hurt him, not when he loves ilya. and after he and ilya become official it slowly dawns on him that he’s broken THE rule now. this thing he tried so hard to resist, he just couldn’t. and that, actually, he’s glad he broke this rule. so he might as well break all of them.

but ilya doesn’t lie; he *performs*. he can’t get caught, because if someone tells him he’s putting up an act, fucking duh!!!! you came in to watch a play and you’re upset the actors didn’t actually fuck and kill and love each other? ilya performs, and if they don’t like the performance, fuck them; that’s not who he really is anyway. and that’s so liberating because his father never believed his performance, always saw through him and managed to hit where it hurt anyway, to violate the things he wanted to tuck away and keep safe. so it’s so lovely, to act and act and have people like his performance without digging deeper, without finding the soft spots. and it’s so lovely, to finally find people that he actually trusts with these soft spots — sveta and shane and the centaurs, these people who will hold his beating heart in their hands and give it a gentle kiss. so why would he come out? why would he give these absolute asshole strangers access to the most precious thing he has? this thing that only people good enough to treat it gently have touched?

and yes, russia was a horrible traumatizing place for ilya but it was also home. it’s where his niece and his mama’s grave are and coming out would mean not being able to show shane where he used to skate with sveta or the tiny restaurant he went to all the time because their borscht tasted almost just like his mama’s. ilya takes shane to moscow once because he wants to see his niece and shane doesn’t want him to go alone and suddenly everything is different, suddenly he can see his hometown through shane’s eyes, can show him every way this city is a part of him and of course shane treats it tenderly because he treats every part of ilya tenderly. and suddenly he’s excited to go back in the future because it’s not about his dad or his brother anymore, it’s just What Else Can I Share With Shane, and he’s writing things down for ideas of where to go and what to do next time. do you want to see old pictures of me? do you want to go to our old cabin? do you want to find my old skates so we can hang them next to yours? do you want to love the parts of me that were only beaten and bruised before?

"The sex is when you can be honest."

"Three rounds before breakfast," Shane comments while they're drying off. "That has to be a personal record."

As soon as he's said it, he and Ilya lock eyes, the same idea occurring to them both.

This is how they end up spending the whole day trying to wring as many orgasms out of each other as physically possible.

It's fun at first, a little bit aggressive in a playful way. They try out new positions and chirp each other ("That's five for me, try to keep up Hollander!") and just generally have a great time with it.

As it takes them longer and longer to get hard after each round, the mood shifts. They are nearly constantly touching and it should get to be too much, shouldn't it, but instead it's like something's been unlocked for them, a bottomless hunger kept at bay for years because they never had enough time to satiate it.

They have time now and they are gorging themselves. It's desperate, almost frenzied, and they're not even talking in between rounds anymore, too busy kissing every inch of each other they can reach.

Eventually, they start to get tired. They've been sore for hours and it's starting to get painful now, so again the mood shifts. The touches turn gentler. Ilya spoons Shane and fucks into him, hips just barely moving because it's painful for the both of them but neither one wants to stop.

That last round lasts forever and by the time they finally come, they're both crying. Shane turns around as soon as Ilya slips out of him, giving him the softest, most tender little kiss.

"I really don't wanna get up to shower," he mutters, the first clear words spoken by either of them in hours. "I don't know if I can even walk right now. This was a terrible idea."

Ilya laughs. "It was maybe not a good one," he agrees. "I think my dick might fall off."

"Mine too," Shane groans. He tucks his face in the crook of Ilya's neck, where he is warm and sticky with sweat. It would gross Shane out if he wasn't also sweaty all over. "At least we broke double digits."

@gofish05 Enormous brain thank you, I did need to make this its own post however because I do have thoughts about this, namely:

There is no universe in which Yuna Hollander has not, unfortunately, seen her son-in-law's dick.

Hollanov's sex life is extremely active. This is canonical. Even when they are Going Through It in TLG, they are having sex the entire time. I believe at one point Shane puts it in such a way to imply that they aren't talking except to argue but they ARE fucking. I have said before that I believe they would continue fucking even if they divorced. Knowing this, I believe that several things are true:

1. Yuna becomes slowly aware of just how horny her only child is. This is a fire that everyone must jump into, eventually, with their parents/adult children. After the frying pan of child rearing and childhood comes the flames of knowing each other as adults. For every moment sitting in the kitchen hearing the saddest words ever spoken come out like a confession from the mouth of your grown child (Yuna has many of these moments with both Shane and Ilya) there also comes a moment where you realize that your child is a sexual being. It's spiritual payback for when your child sat down one day after having The Talk and realized that you had to fuck to make them.

2. This is how Yuna, God BLESS her soul, finally figures out that despite loving him more than life itself, she HAS failed Shane in a number of ways, chief among them being that she has never given him enough privacy. And yes it IS seeing the fully erect penis of her son-in-law that does it for her. She has a moment soon after the Cottage when she has barged into Shane's house and she's just popping in! Just seeing how things are going! And at no point did she even think to make sure that it's not one of the few precious days that Ilya could make it up from Boston. She comes around the corner of the entryway and there in the kitchen in full daylight is her son bent over the kitchen table and yes, Ilya has put himself in front of him but Ilya is ALSO naked and--it's there. It's out. And Yuna immediately walks back out the door and crouches on the front porch and tries not to die of embarrassment. And when Shane opens the door to her, bright cherry red almost ten minutes later and not making eye contact, she at first wants to be mad. Because that's her son, and it's broad daylight, and the windows are open, and it seems disrespectful to Shane as a person to just DO THAT to him--

And then she realizes that A. She has no right to think like this because it is Shane's house and Shane's boyfriend and she has no real say over the way those two things combine and B. Shane is an adult. Shane, unfortunately (...fortunately? Yuna has always wanted her child to find love and be cherished) probably wanted EXACTLY what was happening.

These are things that Yuna needed to realize and she will recognize this. But it's suuuuper uncomfy when it happens. And it continues to be uncomfy for awhile! She apologizes to them and things are awkward with them (Moreso with Ilya than Shane, to be honest--the man really does look like he wants to be launched into space) but she's learned her lesson, at least somewhat. There are growing pains yet to come with this whole new dynamic, adding Ilya to the family and everything that comes with it. It's a trial by fire but flowers grow in its wake.

3. Yuna sits up in bed for several hours in the dark and then, very suddenly, turns on the light and leans over David and shakes him awake.

"David."

"Was' happ'nin?"

"David. I really am a little worried. I'm sorry, I just can't stop thinking--David, the--the size? And how often are they--is it healthy? Could it--"

"Yuna. Please go to sleep, hon."

"David--"