Dedicated To Gay Fictional Assholes

Why isn’t there a female version of Grindr? An app for lesbians to meet solely to hookup?

#I am fixated on happily come trotting back when Ilya calls him #Ilya has Shane recall trained #Ilya's voice saying Shane or moy lyubimyy has Shane's ears perking up and him coming to a halt #love a pairing that's like they only listen to me only i can get through to them #i know them better and love them more than anyone else type of shit yesssss you get it @error404-sideblog !!

cis people can reblog this but keep it on subject, please

Happy pride month everyone always remember that the sinkhole has an ecosystem large enough to house not only insects but likely several species of small birds or mammals

who do i have to kill to get heated rivalry bloopers

I really think we as a fandom are overlooking “canonically has a lesbian sister” “proud ally” “wife guy to a doctor” “managed to befriend clinically anxious Ryan Price” Wyatt Hayes as a character and a potential close friend for Shane.

living in the world where ilya and svetlana go on a zaney abortion road trip across the usa. and yes obviously she is pregnant by ilya. they discussed ilya throwing her down the stairs and also the effects of party drugs vis a vis abortion success before packing up his jag (with 21 miles of gas in it) and heading down the highway

it is CRUCIAL to me that svetlana is also an idiot. like they’re both incredibly smart and have stunning people skills and have drive and talent and shine like precious rare beetles to me obviously. but ilya is stupid as bricks and, as his lifelong best friend, i MUST conclude that svetlana is stupid in an identical way. All this to say i think they’re trying insane abortion home remedies they get from etsy witches ilya finds online when it’s svetlana’s turn to drive. and also from maureen the diner waitress who swears her aunt drank from a specific well and had a barren womb for the rest of her life.

they reminisce fondly about their route 66 abortion roadtrip in front of shane years later and he gets so jealous he has to leave to pace in the yard. it should have been HIM that got teenage pregnant and had to abort for his career while ilya supportively held his hand down a scenic highway at sunset! fuck!

Ilya making Shane wear his glasses during a blowjob so he can pull out of Shane’s hot, wet, perfect mouth at just the right moment to cum all over them…

huh. so i just found out "Torment Nexus" was invented for that one specific meme. i genuinely thought it was from an Orson Scott Welles novel. my ignorance is an unending source of surprise and delight

um. Orson Wells. H.G. Scott Welles. H. George Orson Orwell. Philip Bradbury. stop making me keep track of white men names

the names of classic sci-fi authors appear to have amalgamated into a nexus of some kind. one that is tormenting you, perhaps.