Dedicated To Gay Fictional Assholes

Why isn’t there a female version of Grindr? An app for lesbians to meet solely to hookup?

sorry it's objectively funny that shane shows up to tampa in his bridal linen white miami vice suit and ilya is at the bar in, yes, his tommy bahama button up but also his adidas jack off shorts and matching slides

i like being a lesbian and all, but holy shit, men are so cool. i hope all men reading this have a wonderful day.

i like being gay and all, but holy shit, women are so cool!!!! i hope all women reading this have a wonderful day as well!!!!!!!!!

hey guys, quick reminder! this post is about uplifting other people!!! tags like 'ugh, but men are gross lol' or 'op has never met a man' are not welcome and will recieve an insta block! men are cool! women are cool! thank you for coming to my fucking ted talk! :-)

Ilya cannot commit to a lockscreen so he has a full album of pictures that rotate. Pictures of him and Shane looking happy and disgustingly in love, pictures from Shane's photoshoots where he looks mouthwateringly hot, a couple of pictures of Anya though Shane is also featured in some of them, pictures of Shane at various events looking distinguished and dapper and also still so hot, a few from their wedding day. Every time he picks up his phone and sees that the picture has switched he gets a soft little smile on his face, just taking a moment to look at it before unlocking his phone, heart eyes on full display. It's a running joke among the Centaurs that if Shane isn't around on a night out, Roz is not allowed to look at his phone or he's going home immediately.

Shane's lockscreen is Ilya grinning at the camera, still in hockey gear, hair damp with sweat, his lip split and bleeding from a fight on the ice.

Very funny to imagine that Scott was a role model for Shane not in playing good, consistent hockey but in being a hockey player and captain who wasn’t married with kids by age 22. Shane is looking at him and going, "see, it's perfectly normal to not be interested in women right now or ever spotted with one, to be focused on The Game only, it doesn't make me gay and no one thinks I'm gay and everything is fine."