Ratchet ass hoe

The triple shot on a giant fucken carrot PENETRATING this bird was unnecessary

Me n the girls walking home from the club

Fuck you op this made coffee come out of my fucking nose it wasn’t even that funny fuck you

the music really adds to the plot

this is literally so stupid I’m cackling

so im sitting there, tit in hand, dissociating

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

love the way your robot’s eyes change from placid blue to angry red at the exact moment it decides to murder you; incredibly considerate of the designers to add the extra leds and connect them to the homicide output of the emotion chip.

i watched my brother drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was “i am so sick of being alive”

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

Did he survive?

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

c’mon yellowstone national park let’s get sickening 

i cant believe all the sexy music came out when i was like 12 years old and couldnt appreciate it now. whos at the top of the charts now? ed sheeran? shawn mendes and his beard? all the one direction guys but separate this time? where’s mr. taio cruz