StarlessSkies94

She couldn’t help the thought that she’d seen way too many graves in her short life.

She stared at the makeshift wooden cross and felt hollow. Her eyes cast across to the one next to it and she sighed as she turned to Tommy as he cleaned his dirtied hands with an old rag.

“It was nice of you to bury them.” She commented. But Tommy just replied with a shrug and a scoff. “More of a common courtesy than they would’ve granted us. But I dunno; felt necessary. I don’t even know why.” He said.

She understood…kind of. It gave a finality to it. Like burying Abby and Manny was also burying with it their past. Finally putting it to rest. But even as she stared at the newly laid graves of their enemies; she felt…fuck she didn’t even know how she felt.

This could’ve just as easily been her and her mother’s grave, or her father’s. Everything that had happened inside that building felt like it had happened a hundred years ago, when in reality it’d been no more than two hours ago.

How do you move on from something like that?

Her attention is drawn back by Tommy groaning as he stretched out his tired limbs; stretching to the point she swore she could hear his joints popping. He looked tired. Drained. But then again they all looked like that. He moved to speak to his adoptive niece but when he noticed Dina stood watching by the wayside he clears his throat awkwardly; realising he’d clearly interrupted on what was about to be a rather arduous conversation. “Uh I’m gonna go look for a car we can use to get home; I’ll leave y’all to talk.” He said as he made himself scarce.

Ellie watched him walk off before turning back just as Dina approached, wringing her hands together nervously.

Waiting.

Waiting for the anger she knew was coming.

“Okay before you yell at me; I know you told me to stay put but I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing and I didn’t-“ she’s cut off in a muffled voice as Ellie stepped forward and kissed her.

Dina froze in surprise before she melts into it, pulling her close, cupping her face before she pulls back. “What was that for?” She says softly with her brows creased in confusion. Ellie just smiles and reaches up to wipe off some dirt smeared on her cheek. “I’m glad you didn’t listen.” She utters. And the brunette can’t help a teasing glint returning to her eyes.

“I’m sorry you wanna run that by me again?”

Ellie shrugged, suddenly looking shy in a way Dina rarely saw.

“I thought I was gonna lose you back there.” Dina said softly and Ellie felt her heart ache at the words. “Yeah and I thought…” she trailed off not being able to say the words out loud. But she didn’t need to. Not with Dina. Never with Dina.

“I know babe…but they’re both okay.” She assured her with a squeeze of her hand.

It wasn’t enough though as the redhead let out something between a huff and growl of frustration. Pushing forward on her feet as she moved to stand closer to the waterside of the lake, that was eerily calm now the storm was gone. It felt like it was mocking the waves of thoughts crashing through her head, and the wash of emotions that twisted so tightly in her chest it made her breathless.

“Ellie…” Dina tried cautiously, moving closer but not quite enough to touch her.

“I thought that would be the end of it. I mean they’re dead. How much more final can it be?” She said without much conviction in her voice. “And yet I feel…I’m so fucking sick of losing people.” She finally said. “And back there I almost lost both parents in one go.”

“But you didn’t…” Dina reminded her. That's when she finally let go. When Ellie felt everything hit her at once and pulled her girlfriend into a hug. “I’m sorry.” she uttered. “You’ve lost too.”

“You mean Jesse? Yeah I know. But we’ll be okay. You and me and this little guy.” she smiled, placing her hand on her stomach. Ellie smiled lightly; the contrast of the dark frown she’d worn for what felt like years, softening her worn and tired features. “Little guy huh?” she laughed softly; “That a fact or just a feeling?” she asked.

“Let's say it’s both for now. Been thinking about names; about what Jesse would’ve wanted,” she added and Ellie snorted with a smirk. “Knowing him, probably Jesse Junior.” she replied, her tone teasing but underneath there was a hint of pain still lingering.

“Oh Jesus no! No way!” Dina laughed. She shook her head and bumped her shoulder lightly against Ellie’s. “If we’re gonna go down that road we could name him after his Grandpa.” Ellie scoffed, her mouth curling into a half-smile as she pulled Dina close; leaning her head on her shoulder as they started walking back toward the others. “Joel would hate that…but I do like the idea of fucking with him and tell him we’re gonna name him Joel Junior…”

Dina breathed a chuckle through her nose at the idea. “God he’d be so pissed huh?” The redhead chuckled with a nod, “I mean, probably…”

When she fell quiet Dina didn’t answer immediately; she let Ellie walk ahead as she froze. Gazing over at her parents sat by the remains of an old truck. Her mother sat on the edge of the cargo bed while her dad was focused on tending to her wounds as he knelt beside her.

Dina watched from afar and knew she was taking a moment to breathe. She needed it. She’d been so close to losing her family in an instant. She needed this to remind herself they were okay.

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. Dina, sensing the shift, stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Ellie’s waist from behind, resting her chin on Ellie’s shoulder.

“You’re still thinking about it, huh?” Dina asked quietly.

Ellie nodded. “Yeah.”

“You can’t let it haunt you forever, babe,” Dina added softly. “We’re okay. You and me, we’re okay…We all are.” she reminded her. Ellie took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her chest tightening a little at Dina’s words. “Yeah.” she whispered and her voice quivered a little. Ellie turned to face her, the weight in her chest not quite lifting, but for the first time in a long time, it felt like something she could carry. She smiled softly, her hand brushing the back of Dina’s neck before she kissed her forehead lightly.

“Let’s get back,” Ellie said quietly, her voice a little more steady. “Before Tommy takes the truck without us.”

Dina smiled, the playful glint back in her eyes. “Yeah, we don’t want that.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was tension in the air. They could both feel it but neither had addressed it as Ada sat in the morning sun's rays, while Joel got the last of the medical supplies from his pack and set them out beside him. He’d helped walk her outside; figuring the fresh air would do her good. They’d found some old truck; sitting abandoned nearby. He lifted her to sit in the cargo bed despite her insistence she was capable of doing it herself.

He tilted her head to the side as he cleaned her bloody lip with an alcohol soaked cotton cloth. She winced at the sting, the moment it touched her skin. “Sorry baby…” he apologised softly. He worked in silence as he examined the rest of her injuries. Including the bruise that was forming underneath her left eye.

“You’re gonna have one hell of a shiner.” He commented. But Ada just shrugged nonchalantly at his words. “I’ve had worse.” She replied. Though he didn’t answer. Instead he seemed to go into full mother hen mode; as he always did when she was hurt. Ada always appreciated it but only up to a point. Especially when he recleaned the same cut on cheek over and over.

“You’re hovering.” She said sternly.

“You’re injured.” He retorted. And she rolled her eyes at his stubbornness. “I’ve been injured before, and you've already cleaned that same cut three times.” She complained as she pulled her head away from his grasp; flapping his hands away.

He let out one of his trademark huffs of frustration at her being so damn difficult. But still he respected her space and shuffled back slightly. Dropping the bloodied cloth on his lap before pulling out a clean one.

“Humour me.” Joel pleaded with a softness in his eyes reserved only for his loved ones. And god damn him she couldn’t help but relent and give in. Letting him continue with his work.

They fell into a comfortable silence as she watched him as he moved. Twisting back and forth between her and the first aid kit. He had already organized himself once but it seemed now he was doing it purely to keep his hands busy. The smell of antiseptic and alcohol made her nose tingle. He didn’t look at her once as he fussed with the bandages and cotton pads she didn’t need. He already tended to the wounds on her face and now he was focussed on the cuts on her arms and wrists from where Abby’s people had bound her. She tried to catch his eyes but he purposely kept his head bowed avoiding her gaze as he cleaned the cuts on her forearms.

“You’re being awfully quiet.” she commented. “ I don't like it.” she added as she ducked her head to try to get him to look at her but still he kept his eyes cast down at her arms.

“I’m just trying to make sure you're alright.” Once again he didn't meet her eyes as he spoke. But she reached out instinctively, her fingers brushing his wrists to stop him from what he was doing. “Joel…honey…you’re shaking.” she uttered softly.

“I ain’t.” The denial came out quick, almost automatic. But he didn’t pull away.

“Yes you are.” she whispered, letting her hands trail down his wrists as she linked their fingers together. And for a moment they just sat in silence; holding hands. She felt him squeeze her hand as if he was trying to convince himself she was really there. Solid and alive.

“You scared me back there…” His words slipped out quiet and rough like he hadn’t meant to say them out loud. “You weren't the only one.” She replied, holding his gaze now. Not giving him the chance to look away. Her expression softened.

“You were gonna let her kill you.” she said and she noticed his jaw clench as she said it. Ada didn’t miss the anger there; but underneath it something much closer to fear.

“Yes.” He said simply, breaking their eye contact. Once again unable to look at her. But when he felt Ada’s eyes on him, he looked up and saw the annoyance in her eyes. “What? She wanted me dead, Ada. Has done from the beginning; ain’t just about taking away Ellie. Taking away their damn cure. It was…something else. Reckon she held me solely responsible for all of it.” he gestured vaguely with his hand as he spoke, his frustration bleeding through but his voice faltered slightly.

“That’s not the point…” she huffed in return. Her own frustration at his stubbornness rearing its head.

“The point is; you had a gun pointed to your head and Ellie had one pointed to hers. I wasn’t exactly working with a lotta options.” He snapped before reining in his anger as he felt his heart sink at the tears welling in her eyes. “Sorry.” he whispered, his shoulders dropping as the fight drained out of him. Guilt twinging in the crease of his brows at his unwarranted outburst at her. She didn’t deserve his anger. And he had no right to be mad at her. But she saw through it immediately as she always did. Her hands moving to cup his face as her fingers caressed his cheeks.

“Back there when she was gonna…you went somewhere else. You saw Sarah didn't you?” she already knew the answer before she asked the question but she needed to hear him say it anyway.

“Yeah…” he uttered gruffly; his hand trailing up one of her wrists to lay over her hand on his face. “Like it was happening all over again. I couldn’t… I didn't want…” his voice broke off, his throat tightening around the words he couldn't quite finish but he didn’t need to. She knew; she always did.

“I know honey…I know. But you didn’t lose us.” she whispered; leaning closer despite the ache in her body. She needed to be close to him; to ground him. For his sake just as much as her own.

“No…” he shook his head faintly, like he was still trying to convince himself this was real. That they really were okay.

“Look at me…” she said softly, taking hold of his hand and laying it gently over her chest so he could feel her heart beating. “Here…” She guided his hand with care, pressing it there firmly making sure he felt it. Steady; real and alive.

“I love you…” He said and the words tumbled out with the tears that ran from his eyes as he pulled her close. Finally letting himself relax as he held her. She moved her hands from his face up into his hair as she hugged him back. Taking a moment to breathe. She didn’t think she’d ever have this again.

“I love you too.” she whispered against the top of his head before pulling back and looking into his eye; her forehead brushing against his for a moment. He smiled lovingly at her and they both felt the pull that had them meet in the middle for a kiss. They let it linger for a moment more. That spark between them that had never extinguished in all the years they'd been together.

When they finally parted their foreheads met again as she tugged gently on his hair as she huffed through her nose. “...And if you ever do anything that stupid again, I'll kill you myself Joel Miller do you hear me?”

A small tired laugh burst from his lips, the first hint of something lighter breaking through the weight of everything. “Yes ma’am.” he whispered softly; sealing his promise with another chaste kiss on her lips.

Footsteps approached across the gravel behind them catching their attention as Joel glanced up to see Ellie and Dina walking back toward them. Ellie slowed slightly when she noticed the way Joel and Ada were sitting close together.

“You two decent?” she asked with a teasing laugh.

Joel smirked faintly “Define decent.” he replied.

Ada chuckled quietly beside him, hiding her face in his shoulder. Ellie just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Tommy find us a ride yet?” she asked.

“Last I saw he was still wanderin’ around the parking lot,” Joel said, looking around for his brother. Then as if almost summoned, they heard the rumble of a truck drive around as it squeaked to a halt. And there in the driver's seat was Tommy, he smiled as he leaned out the window and waved them all over. “Hey! Look what I found.” the younger Miller grinned.

They all turned to look and see the battered pickup sat near the curb, its paint faded and rusted but it seemed intact. Tommy climbed out and leaned against the door with a proud grin. “Runs and everything,” he announced. “ Hoping the damn thing will get us back to Jackson in one piece.”

Joel helped Ada to her feet carefully, his arm steady around her waist as the couple walked towards the truck. Dina followed before stopping when she noticed Elie hadn’t moved. The redhead glanced back once more toward the two fresh graves behind them.

For a long moment she simply looked.

Then she turned away and joined Dina who stood waiting patiently with a hand held out. Ellie took it and smiled as they joined her parents and all climbed into the truck. Tommy didn’t waste any time in hitting the gas and getting them moving. Joel and Ada sat in the backseat while Ellie and Dina got comfortable in the cargo bed in the back. It didn’t take long for Tommy to finally find a decent road to guide them out of the town and back onto the highway. He smiled when he saw the old road sign.

Water dripped somewhere in the dark. The air smelled like salt and mildew and old metal. Thunder rolled overhead, shaking the glass dome roof, lightning following close behind. Inside, the air was even more damp and stale. The faint smell of brine clung to everything. Somewhere deeper in the building, they heard the scuttling of rats that darted from crevice to crevice disturbed by their presence, as they moved further into the building. Tommy paused at the base of a staircase. “We should split up. I’ll take high ground.” he said lowly. 

Joel doesn’t like it. His instincts clawing at him. But Tommy was already moving before Joel answered.

The metal stairs groaned under Tommy’s boots as he disappeared upward into the rafters.

Joel doesn’t look away until he can’t see him anymore. Then he’s pushing forward with Ellie by his side. 

Though even now he stays half a step ahead of Ellie without even thinking.

He didn’t need to look to know she noticed.

He also didn’t need to look to know she’d let him. They’re back in their old rhythm without having to speak. Just like old times. 

They move through darkened corridors lined with cracked tanks and faded murals of cartoon sea creatures that feel grotesque under the flickers of lightning. As they moved further through the exhibits — more empty tanks, cracked information plaques, and damp rotting carpets that squelch under foot; Joel’s mind wouldn’t settle. 

Ada.

He kept picturing her tied up. Hurt. Waiting.

And behind that image, another one kept surfacing uninvited.

A flashlight beam in the dark.

A soldier’s silhouette.

He pushes it down.

Not now.

They step into the central tank room. And there she is. Ada sits beneath the massive skeleton of a whale suspended from the ceiling. She’s tied to a metal chair. Bruises blooming across her cheekbone. Blood dried at the corner of her lip.

For a second, Joel can’t move.

She’s breathing. That’s all that matters right now.

Ellie takes a step forward but Joel catches her arm instinctively. As Ada looks up, the relief on her face when she sees them breaks him. Not because she isn’t glad to see them but because of how quickly it vanishes. “Don’t,” she says. Her voice is sharp. Urgent. “It’s a trap.” she adds hoarsely. But Joel already knows. It’s too open. Too staged.

Yet he steps forward anyway. 

Because leaving her is not an option.

It's in that moment that time seems to move again as floodlights snap to life and the shadows shift. Manny’s arm snakes around Ellie’s throat before Joel even hears his  footsteps. Ellie’s breath leaves her in a startled gasp as she’s dragged backward, Manny locking her tight against him, a gun pressed hard to her temple. And everything happens at once. 

Abby stepped from the darkness opposite Ada, gun already drawn, aimed steady at her head.

“Well,” Abby said, her voice calm in a way that’s unsettling. “Family reunion.” She smiles bitterly. Joel froze. Ellie struggled, but Manny’s grip tightened, forearm digging into her throat. “Don’t! Please not again!” The teen begs desperately. The words strike Joel like a blade.

For a second, he didn't feel anything.

It was like his body shut down to protect itself from what it was seeing. And he was back there again all over again.

The way Ellie’s hands clawed at the arm around her throat.

It was Wyoming.

It was the ski lodge.

Ellie screaming.

Helpless.

It was her pinned down on the floor while he bled out on a broken tile floor and unable to reach her.

Abby’s eyes never left Joel as she watched him. She smiled with twisted satisfaction at  his suffering. This was exactly what she wanted. He’d taken away her father; and now she would take away his family. Blood for blood. It was only fair. 

She shifted to adjust her grip on her pistol as she moved it closer towards Ada. Pointedly glaring at him holding his own weapon. Joel’s rifle felt suddenly useless in his hands.

“Drop it,” Abby demanded.

He did. Slowly.

The rifle hit the ground with a hollow clatter that echoed too loud in the room. Ellie was struggling, fingers digging into Manny’s arm. “Joel—” “Easy,” Manny warned, pressing the barrel harder into her skin. Joel’s heart was pounding so hard he could hear it over the storm. His mind was moving too fast now. Angles. Distances. Timing.

If he rushed Manny first…No. Too close. Ellie would take the bullet. If he went for Abby…She’d shoot Ada before he got halfway. He had seconds. Maybe less. So he did the only thing left.

“Let them go,” he pleaded, voice steady in a way he did not feel. “Please…”

Abby’s eyes were empty. Not angry. Not wild. Just finished.

“You think you get to ask for things?!” she shouted as her cold calm demeanor exploded. “Are you fucking kidding?!” she scoffed bitterly. Joel swallowed and took a step forward. Manny immediately cocked his gun. “I won’t fight,” Joel said. “You want me, you take me. I won’t raise a hand.” Ellie’s voice cracked. “Don’t you dare.”

He didn’t look at her.

He couldn’t. He was breaking his promise to her. 

“On the condition,” Joel continued, staring at Abby, “that they walk out of here.” he said gesturing toward Ellie and Ada. 

The storm rattled the glass above them.

Abby almost smiled.

“You still don’t understand do you? ” she said quietly. Her finger tightened on the trigger aimed at Ada. Manny shifted behind Ellie. The barrel didn’t waver.

And suddenly—Joel wasn’t in the aquarium anymore.

He was on a highway.

A flashlight beam in his face.

“Sir, there’s a little girl...”

Sarah’s small fingers digging into his shirt.

Joel turning, trying to shield her.

The gun lifting.

The hesitation.

The shot.

The sound.

Heavy breathing and racing heartbeats clouded his senses. His chest was so tight he struggled to breathe. No. Not again. He could not watch it happen again. He would not lose anyone else. Not while he was still breathing.

Joel moved.

It wasn’t strategic. It wasn’t smart. It was desperate. As he lunged toward Abby, thunder split the sky. Two gunshots cracked through the room at the same time.

Joel froze.

Everything stopped. The storm. The drips of water. The air itself. For one suspended second, he couldn’t hear anything. And all he could think was…

I was too slow.

Ellie screamed his name.

Because she thought the same thing.

Joel couldn’t feel his hands. Couldn’t breathe. He was waiting for the sound of a body hitting the floor. Instead Manny’s grip slackened. His arm slipped from Ellie’s throat.

He crumpled behind her, gun clattering uselessly across the tile. Ellie stumbled forward onto her knees, coughing.

Across the room, Abby staggered back a single step. Her eyes widened—not in rage.

In confusion. She looked down at her chest as blood seeped into her shirt, the stain expanding slowly through the fabric. Then she fell.

The silence after was worse than the gunshots. Joel looked at Ellie.

Ellie looked at him. She scrambled across the floor in a panic; her hands shaking as she checked her father was okay; her face pale as her hands too afraid to touch, in case they came away bloody. 

He grabbed her shoulders, checking, searching. “Are you hurt?” Joel asked in a panic.

She shook her head, tears tracking down through the grime on her cheeks. “You?” she uttered. He couldn’t answer yet. He was already moving toward Ada. He reached her in three steps.

Up close, she looked smaller. Exhausted. Pale. A cut along her brow, her wrists raw where the rope had bitten into her skin. He dropped to his knees in front of her.

His hands were shaking as he reached behind the chair, fumbling with the knots.

“You’re okay,” he murmured, but he wasn’t sure if he was telling her or himself. “You’re okay.” Her breath hitched. “Joel.” she whispered with tears in her eyes. 

The rope finally gave way. Her arms fell free, but she didn’t stand. She just leaned forward as Joel caught her. He had imagined this moment differently in his head a hundred times. He had not pictured his hands trembling so badly that he could barely hold her. He pressed his forehead against hers and for a second, neither of them spoke.

He could feel her breathing against his cheek.

He hadn’t realized how tightly he’d been holding himself together until that moment.

“I thought—” she started.

“I know.” He didn’t want her finishing that sentence. He didn’t want to hear the version where he was too late. She pulled back slightly and cupped his face with bruised fingers. “You came.” she uttered softly. He let out something that wasn’t quite a laugh and wasn’t quite a sob. “‘Course I did.” he said as he kissed her. 

Behind them, boots hit the floor.

Tommy climbed down from the rafters, rifle still in his hands.

Dina stood near the doorway, gun lowered now, rain dripping from her sleeves.

Joel followed the line of bodies. Manny and Abby...dead. For a long time, no one moved.

The war that had been chasing them across states and years had ended in a single room. Joel felt it settle. The quiet.

He had expected relief. Instead, what he felt was… emptiness. Like something that had been wound tight for too long had finally snapped. Ellie stepped closer, looking at Abby’s body. “It’s over,” she said softly. Not victorious. Just tired. Tommy exhaled, a slow, heavy sound. “That’s the last of ’em.” 

Joel looked at Ada again and at Ellie. Then at Dina, who had ignored orders and risked everything to be here.

They were all still standing. Against odds that had not been in their favor. He stood slowly, helping Ada to her feet. She swayed, and he steadied her instantly, arm firm around her waist. “I got you, darlin’” he murmured. She leaned into him without hesitation. For the first time since this started, Joel let himself feel it.

The weight lifting. Fear draining. The possibility that he might not lose someone again tonight. Ellie stepped into his side carefully, like she wasn’t sure if she was intruding. He shifted his arm without thinking, pulling her close too. Ada reached out and caught Ellie’s hand.

The three of them stood there in the echoing storm-lit room, surrounded by broken glass and bodies and the end of something terrible.

Joel closed his eyes.

He hadn’t been too late.

And for the first time in a long time—

The future didn’t feel like something hunting him. 

Bacon. He’d found bacon. Granted it was canned and not a patch on the fresh meat he’d had back in Jackson from the livestock they had there, but it was better than nothing. He’d woken up before everyone else and for the last forty minutes he’d been as silent as he could, to minimise the risk of waking them up. 

He knew what would happen if they caught him. They’d try to change his mind. But it was all made up. And he couldn’t face the reality of them knowing what was going to happen. 

No. That wasn’t true.

The truth was…he was a coward. Even now. If Abby wanted him dead in exchange for his wife and family’s safety; then he’d lay down to die and go quietly. But there was no chance in hell he could force himself to look Ellie in the eye and tell her goodbye. Or Tommy. Ada wouldn’t stand for it either. If he was being honest; he was hoping Abby would make it quick; get it over with. He knew she wouldn’t. Not after what happened the first time. But surely she’d grant him the decency to remove his wife from the room first. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone he cared about seeing him suffer again. It was strange really. How calm he felt. Knowing he would die today. Though if he was being honest, he should’ve died a hundred times before now. If anything he was living on borrowed time. 

And he was tired. So goddamn tired. The thought of possibly seeing Sarah again, made things a little easier but he knew in his heart; there was no chance he’d be going to the same place as his baby girl. Not after all the horrors he’d caused. The people he’d killed. He knew he wasn’t a good person. He was under no illusion that he was a hero. And yet; still there was no regret. No shame in his decisions. He’d do them all again in a heartbeat and wave a friendly good day to the Devil himself as he did them. 

And there was no going back now. He’d written a letter and hopes it’s enough to grant him forgiveness for what he’s about to do. He sits in the theatre chair. Empty seats surrounding him, filled with the ghosts of an audience that is no longer there, to see a show that no longer exists. From a world long dead. 

Finally after what feels like an eternity he stands from his seat and grabs his bag, and strides out of the auditorium and into the vestibule but before he can even reach the door he hears her voice. 

“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Ellie asks. He sighed heavily and it seemed to take the weight of his whole body before he forces himself to finally turn around. 

And before he can even utter a word in his defence, he can see she’s already read his expression as hers falls into anger and defiance. 

“Don’t you dare…” she says sternly. “Ellie I have too.” He replies in an exhale of breath. 

But she shakes her head. “No you don’t. We can do this together. As a family.” She argues. But Joel is just too tired to argue anymore. He wants this to be over. He wants them to go home and live their lives. He wants Ellie to take Dina back to Jackson where they can raise the baby and be the family she deserves. The one he couldn’t give her. Not now. It’s too late. 

He just shakes his head heavily as it’s weighted down by his conscience, and all he can offer her in return is a broken smile and weak uttered ‘sorry’ as he tries not to look at the tears welling in her eyes. Forcing himself to turn his back on her as she pleads with him to stay. As she calls out his name in a fit of panic and frustration. It kills him to ignore her as he pushes himself towards the exit, and as he finally reaches the door at the end of the room she says the one thing that stops him cold. 

“Dad!” 

His hand freezes on the door handle and if it’s possible; he hates himself even more for even entertaining the idea of leaving her. He turns to face her. And he doesn’t see the nineteen year old girl that’s hardened by her trauma and loss in this cruel world. No. He sees his baby girl and how dare he think of abandoning her.

He doesn’t have to even say anything as she races towards him and he’s already met her in the middle as he pulls her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I just thought things would be better if I just…” 

“Shut up old man; you’re not doing shit without me.” She berates him with a smile as silent tears fall down her cheeks. 

——————————————————————------------------------------------------------------

The map is marked. The plan was set. This time they’d all packed accordingly. Joel had shared out the bacon and Tommy had weighed in on the complaints of there being no coffee. While Ellie merely snorted a laugh along with Dina, stating that it wasn’t a big deal because it tasted like burnt shit anyway. Joel rolled his eyes claiming for the millionth time that it was an acquired taste. 

It still wasn’t enough to clear the foreboding tension that hung over them. Knowing what was about to happen. And as they found themselves in the foyer of the theatre building; Joel and Tommy checking over their weapons while Ellie and Dina took stock of their supplies and medical aids. They knew it was now or never. Tommy had already gone out first to check the coast was clear before they moved out. But before Dina could follow; Ellie stopped her. 

“Whaddya doing?” Dina asked. “You’re staying here.” Ellie replied. Leaving no room for argument; but Dina gave her one anyway. “The fuck I am!” She huffed in defiance; a frown creasing her brows. “You’re pregnant.” She said softly like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“So?” Dina bit back. 

“So…are you fucking kidding me?! Jesse is dead and my mom is…I can’t lose you too.” Ellie reasoned. Holding her hand and gazing at her with pleading eyes. “Please…I need to know you’re safe here.” 

The brunette nodded slowly; the air heavy around them at what was at stake. What was about to happen. Dina knew better than to argue when Ellie looked as lost and scared as she did now. “Okay…I’ll stay here. But you’d better come back to me in one piece or I’ll fucking kill you, got it?” She teased in a vain attempt to lighten the mood. It worked as Ellie breathed a laugh through her nose as she smiled in spite of herself. 

“I love you.” She whispered, pulling her close as their lips met in a parting kiss that said all the goodbyes that Ellie didn’t have the strength to say out loud. 

As they pulled away Joel hurried through the foyer with his backpack on and shotgun in his hand. “Ellie…come on kiddo we gotta move while we can.” He grumbled in passing in his rush towards the door to follow his brother. “I’m coming.” The teen replied in her own urgency to leave but pulled back by her hesitation to leave Dina. “I’ll be fine; go get your mom and end this.” She said almost reading her mind. 

The redhead said nothing in reply; taking favour of giving her a cert nod and one last kiss instead before she darted out the door following her father. 

Dina tried not to let the anxiety tighten her chest as she moved to bar the door shut again behind them; not even hiding the flinch as a loud clash of thunder made her jump. Looking up at the windows as flashes of lightning chased after the rumbles. It seemed the storm had finally hit them. As the heavy rain smashed against the window panes to the point Dina was worried the glass might break. The lower levels had already been boarded up years ago. But it didn’t lighten the sound of the wind and the rain hitting the wood. 

It was in that moment that it all hit Dina at once, the fear she had of losing Ellie, the anger of them taking Jesse away from her. She couldn’t sit here and wait for them to come back. What if something happened? Those bastards had already ambushed Joel and Tommy once and this time they had Ada to use as bait. 

No. Ellie was right; they did need to end this and she’d be right there beside her as she did. She didn’t hesitate as she grabbed her bag and her weapon and headed for the door, stepping out into the rain.

Though even if she had anything, she doubted she’d be able to stomach it. Left alone in the dark with Jesse’s body. Mike had smashed the bulb in his frustration of her not telling him what he wanted. And even though she couldn’t see a damn thing in the dark she knew he was there. Cold and alone. He’d looked so scared and she hated that the moment kept replaying in her head.

She remembered the conversation they’d had back in Jackson when he’d offered to go with them to find Joel, but she’d asked him to stay with Maria and his family. It’d been hard enough letting Dina and Ellie go; she’d wanted them to stay safe at home but no such luck. And now she wasn’t even sure if they were alive. The last she’d been her daughter they’d been running for their lives from a horde of infected. Ada had hoped to God they’d gotten somewhere safe. That they’d found Tommy or Joel…or perhaps somehow they’d all found each other and were working on a plan to get her the hell out of here. Though the chances of that happening, she knew were slim. She leaned her head back against the wall and the water pipe behind her.

Her arm was beginning to ache where Mike had handcuffed her to the wall. She jostled it a few times to try and loosen her hand in the cuff but it only dug further into her skin. Eventually she ran out of steam and slumped back down against the wall. She was exhausted and in a lot of pain. At first she had thought that she’d broken her ribs but her breathing had settled after a while and now she was alone to focus on what actually hurt; she estimated that it was more likely that she’d bruised her ribs and busted her nose. Not necessarily life threatening but it still hurt like a son of a bitch.

She needed to get out of this basement, as she twisted her wrist to angle it out of the handcuff she felt her joint pop. Hissing in pain as she continued to force it through until finally she was free. Her wrist exploded with pain and she clutched it to her chest to soothe it. After some time catching her breath from the throbbing of her wrist, she tried to focus on her next move. Getting some light. Ada stumbled through the small puddles that covered the old concrete floor, squinting through the darkness to make out her surroundings; she felt along the wall until she came across a metal cleaning cabinet. Forcing the door open she scanned the shelves for anything that could be useful to her. She felt along the top shelf and found a glass mason jar and a ball of twine along with an old metal twist tin can opener.

Perfect. She thought to herself as she set them down beside her and looked for the right chemicals for her fuel. Her eyes were stinging from straining in the darkness while she read the old labels on the cleaning products until she found what she was looking for, rubbing alcohol and turpentine. She got to work pouring a little of both into the jar before wrapping the twine around the tin opener and bending it to sit at the base of the jar before finally grabbing the broken pieces from the bulb and flicking them together to light the twine. She smiled triumphantly as the dull glow erupted into the darkness and she took a moment to appreciate the irony of her situation.

‘When you're lost in the darkness; look for the light.’ Go to hell. Ada thought bitterly, she was perfectly capable of making her own light. Although now she had, she wished she couldn't see.

Back in the corner lay Jesse’s lifeless body. Ada slowly made her way towards him as she knelt beside him. His eyes were still open and the blood from the gunshot wound in his head had trailed down the side of his face. Even in death the poor boy looked scared. The older woman shifted his body to lay him down more comfortably on the ground; her hand drifting over his face to gently close his eyes. She grabbed a discarded rag from the supply cabinet and dipped it in the puddle of water leaking from the old pipe and wiped his face clean of blood stains.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” she said softly. “You didn’t deserve this. You were only trying to help. But I promise when all this is over I’m gonna come back for you. And I'm gonna take you home where you belong.” as she spoke she felt tears welling in her eyes. “I’m gonna tell your mother how brave and selfless you were. I know she’ll be real proud of you honey.”

The longer she sat with him, the more her heart ached for him. His mother. She couldn’t imagine how she’d be herself if something happened to Ellie. But she couldn’t think like that right now. She needed to focus on getting out. But before she even had the chance the door flung open and a man she recognised as Manny stormed down the steps and rushed inside.

What made things worse was the fact that the man was in such an urgency that he didn’t even bother to comment on the fact she’d freed herself or the makeshift light, kicking it over into a nearby puddle and extinguishing it. In fact he never uttered a word. Instead she was beaten to the floor; her wrists bound behind her back and dragged out from the basement up the stairs, then marched through the building and thrown into the back of a truck. It was only a matter of time before the temperature change, exhaustion and lack of water got the better of her before she passed out.

When Ada came to; her vision was blurry and her head was throbbing. The dehydration was really getting to her now. It took a moment to take in her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was the smell of chlorine and mildew.

Looking around the area the second thing she noticed were the large glass windows and what seemed to be empty dried out tanks. While others were still full with long sat and stagnant water. It didn't take Ada long to figure out she was in an old aquarium. From the looks of things some of the tanks were even still occupied with wildlife. She could see the shadows swimming around in the rays of sun that shone from the outside. She tried to move to get a better look but was restricted when she moved her leg, only to find a shackle attached to her ankle and the other end chained to the floor.

“For fuck’s sake…” she hissed under her breath.

She settled back down, but a cough erupted from her chest as she felt it burning. Covering her mouth; she hacked and coughed only to turn pale at the sight the droplets of blood in her palm. She wiped her mouth and pulled at the shackle on her leg but was tightly bound around her skin. Her hands smeared the blood along her pant leg the more she tried to free herself. But it was no use. She could feel her heart racing and the pulsing in her ears; her whole body turning cold.

She took a trembling breath trying to figure out her next move. She really needed to get out of there.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Abby was running out of time. Isaac’s order had come through three days ago. The squad she’d come to Colorado with had wasted no time in packing up. But she couldn’t go back. Not yet.

It was bad enough that Owen and Mel had refused to come with her. Though they’d expressed their hesitation back in Jackson when they’d first cornered Joel and now look at the mess she was in. They had known her father; Owen especially had respected him deeply. How dare they refuse to help her get justice for his murder. They were cowards. Owen had said over the radio she was going too far but she hadn’t gone through all she had just to stop now.

Leah and Jordan were dead. Mike was missing and she’d just gotten word that Nora had been found dead in the hospital, they’d told her it was infected. She’d gotten too close. Trapped in a hallway of spores; that they’d torn her apart leaving nothing but a bloody mess but Abby knew better. This was them. Joel fucking Miller’s people! Even now years after taking her father he was indirectly taking everyone else she cared about.

She paced back and forth as she huffed harshly through her nose as her anger flared. No; not anymore. If the rest of the squad wasn’t going to help her then fuck them. She’d take care of this herself.

“Mike’s dead.”

Abby turned towards Manny as he said the words while storming into the room.

“What?” she asked, her blood running cold. “He’s dead Abby, one of the guys found his body dumped in an alleyway; burned. There wasn’t much left except his I.D tags.” he spat in disgust as he handed them to her. She took hold; her fingers bumping over the slightly charred edge where the metal had started to bend from the heat. “This is fucked Abby!” Manny grunted angrily.” Why couldn't we just take him out when we had the chance.” he said, but Abby shook her head as she sat down on one of the benches by the empty viewing tank they were standing next to. “Because we needed time. I had a plan.” she explained but Manny just scoffed in annoyance rushing back to his feet.

“Screw the plan! Kill her now. And then him, when he comes here looking for her.” he insisted. But again Abby shook her head. “No. We need to be smart about this.”

Manny rolled his eyes as he slumped back onto the bench next to her. He couldn’t understand her. This group was taking out all their friends and yet she just wanted to sit here and wait?! It didn’t make sense to him. He ran a hand over his face as he scratched at his bearded chin, letting out a frustrated breath.“Why the hell do you care so much about some bitch he was screwing back in Jackson anyway?” He asked exasperatedly.

Abby grew quiet for a moment as she turned to look at him. The heaviness in the air grew more so by the second as a lump built in her throat. She tried to swallow it down; but choked on the air, clearing her throat as her voice grew hoarse. “Do you really not know who she is?” she asked grimly. There was a silence between them as Manny shook his head slowly but was not lost to the look in her eye.

“She was a firefly that worked with Marlene back in Boston. She helped him…in Salt Lake City; she helped him kill our friends. Our family. No, I want that fucker to suffer. He took away my dad and I’m gonna take away someone he loves and then after he’s watched her die… he dies too.” she uttered with a snarl and Manny had the same malicious look as she did as he smiled.

So instead, he resumed his pacing walking further through the theatre to the seating area. Looking up at the stage, it was strange, even after such a long time being left to rot and decay. The building still had some sort of grandeur to it. The paintings on the ceiling seemed untouched, images of dancing angels along with singing Gods and Goddesses glancing down upon them from above. Thinking back he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in a place like this. When was the last time he’d been in the theatre before now? Joel had taken Sarah to concerts and movies all the time, but a theatre to see a musical act or a play? He couldn’t remember. It was then that it struck him that he was struggling to recall more and more details from before the outbreak; they were getting harder and harder to recall.

He supposed it didn’t matter much anymore. Memory was a tricky thing. He knew that now, better than anyone. When he heard movement above him. He knew it was Dina. He figured that was a good time to check on her and see how she was doing, and if she'd heard anything on the radio, she hadn’t moved from its side since Ellie had left. 

“Hey…” Joel said as he stepped into the room. At first Dina didn’t hear him come in as she sat with her ear close to the radio; scanning through the frequencies with one hand while the other held onto a pencil over a writing pad, covered in doodles and notes. She looked up at the sound of his footsteps and smiled.

“Hey…you okay?” Dina asked as she put down the pencil and leaned back in her seat. Pushing out the chair opposite her with her foot. Joel took the wordless invitation as he sat down. “Guess so. Tommy fell asleep in one of the back rooms, figured I’d give him some peace and quiet.” 

“Yeah he hasn’t really slept a lot the last few weeks.” Dina said with a sigh as she shifted slightly to work out the aching muscles in her neck from sitting still for so long. Joel figured as much. It was then he realised he’d not asked much about what had happened while they’d been out looking for him. He’d been so focused on moving forward that he hadn’t even thought to wonder about those that had followed after him. “How long were you guys out?” He asked. 

Dina thought for a moment before glancing back at him. “About as long as you. We left pretty much a day or so after you did. Tommy was pretty hot in your trail when we realised you’d left Jackson.” She said thinking back as she grew silent for a second. “God he was so mad. Not at you.” She quickly clarified before pulling a face. “Well maybe a little bit at you but mostly at the guards for just letting you go. And he and Ada, well they were more or less at each other’s throats the entire time we were looking for you, that I’m pretty sure Ellie was ready to put them in a time out.” She said and Joel couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. 

“Yeah I ain't surprised.” He said. “Tommy always wanted a sister but he and Ada have very different personalities and from the moment they met they’ve always clashed about how to go about doin' somethin'. Especially when it comes to anythin' to do with me. Was it bad?” Joel asked and Dina just shrugged. 

“Not really, Ada made him walk it off a few times when he snapped at her. And then he mostly just sulked about being told off.” Joel nodded as he let the silence take over. It was a little awkward but not by much. Joel had a few conversations with Dina in the past before; just not when she was his daughter's girlfriend. He supposed it didn’t really make any difference either way. He’d meant what he’d said to Ellie the night of the party. He truly did believe that Dina was lucky to have Ellie and the two were clearly deeply in love with each other and it made him happy to know that Ellie had someone like that. 

Thinking about Ellie made his anxiety spike. He could feel the pressure building in his chest again. Shifting in his seat as he cleared his throat and gestured at the radio on the table. “Anyway...you heard anythin' yet?” He asked gruffly and Dina shook her head. 

“Not from Ellie; not yet but I’m keeping an ear out. If I do, you'll be the first to know.” She promised. “Okay and what about…the uh..” he uttered trying to remember the groups name but Dina beat him to it.

“The Wolf people?” She replied and Joel was taken aback by her words. 

“The what? Wolf people? You mean the WLF?” He asked with a smirk but Dina just shrugged again nonchalantly. 

“Yeah that’s what I said; Wolf people.” She replied simply and in that moment he understood why she and Ellie were together. Same ridiculous sense of humour. 

Good Lord there’s two of them. 

He would be more than willing to bet that she also loved those pun books of Ellie’s too. Yep perfect pair, He thought to himself with a smile before his mind focused back on the room and the static coming from the nearby radio. He huffed a laugh through his nose and shifted in his seat fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket; pulling one back slightly to tug at his watch on his wrist.  

“Uh okay, did you hear anythin' from them?” He asked again, gesturing to the device on the table. 

“Yes and no.” Dina said and Joel just tilted his head in confusion waiting for the young brunette to explain. She stood up moving to grab a book full of notes as she placed it down in front of him. 

“I heard Abby talking to someone on another channel. It’s one they haven’t used before or since.” She said, opening the notebook and pointing to the main page of information, before sitting back down. “Here I managed to jot down some of the info while I was listening in.”

Joel squinted his eyes to read her handwriting taking a moment to miss his glasses from back home. His eyesight really wasn’t what it used to be. He looked at the list of names and what looked to be a transcript of a conversation. 

“Owen.” He read aloud as one of the participants in the notes. 

“Yeah…I recognise the name. He was part of the group that came to Jackson to…well you know.” she grimaced but Joel said nothing, choosing instead to skirt around the subject as he let her continue. “ Anyway it was pretty clear from their conversation that he's not here with the rest of the group in Colorado.” 

“Yeah? Where is he then?”

“Seattle.”

Joel huffed a sigh. Deflating slightly in his chair. “Guess that makes sense. Tommy was going on about militia groups that popped up around the same time as the Fireflies. So I guess when they disbanded they just joined this one. Stands to reason the W stands for Washington then.” He deduced and Dina nodded along in agreement. He could practically see the gears turning in her head as she flipped through all the information she’d gathered; wordlessly taking her notebook back. “That’d be my guess too.” she said as she tore pages out and slid them across the table towards Joel. He took them as he read through the conversations; with the date and times written beside them. Along with maps and markers Dina had made to track Abby’s group. 

“Got the sense that the two have a history too. He kept saying that he needed to stay where he was because of someone called Mel. Said she needed him and that he’d figured out his priorities and that she should do the same. That if she kept up this revenge cycle that it would get her killed.” 

Joel nodded as he took it all in. It seemed that this, along with the information he’d figured out with Ada was beginning to paint a more clearer picture. 

“Smart kid. Maybe she should listen to him.” he said bitterly but Dina just shook her head looking worried. “I wouldn’t hold your breath on that. She was pretty pissed off. And on top of that I got word that someone called Issac is calling the whole group to go back. Said they’re wasting too many resources and time on this whole thing. That they have bigger problems in Seattle to deal with and he needs his people there. They’ve received an order to go back in two days. Abby isn’t happy about it.”

The older man took a moment to think; he and Ada had assumed this was because of destroying the Fireflies. But now perhaps he’d been wrong. Yes part of this group seemed to be ex-Fireflies but most seemed more determined to go home rather than settle some old score with the man that had effectively stolen their cure. It was this woman Abby that seemed to be the driving force in the whole thing. The one that had actually taken the swing that had almost killed him. Maybe this was the end of it. Maybe this was close to finally being over. 

“So maybe this is a good thing?” he said out loud after a moment or two of getting lost in his own head. Again Dina shook her head.

“Or it makes Abby more desperate. Joel, she still wants you dead. And if Ada isn’t at the hospital when Ellie gets there…”

“I know. I know…” he said grimly. He hated this. Not that he’d saved Ellie but that his actions seemed to be hurting everyone he loved. It wasn’t fair. If anyone should suffer the consequences it should be him. It weighed heavily on him. He felt as though he’d aged a thousand years just in the last few months. From losing his memory to the turmoil and torment he’d suffered getting it back; to losing his wife and sending his daughter out alone. He felt like such a failure. Both as a father and as a husband. He could feel the walls closing in again. His heartbeat was ringing in his ears and his palms were getting sweaty. “This is all my fault and everyone else is gettin' hurt because of it.” He huffed breathlessly. “Maybe I should've just done everyone a favour and died back in Jackson.” He gasped out shakily and Dina surprised him by taking his hand to ground him. 

“No. That’s not what I meant…I just…I’m worried. But you need to keep going. Look at how many people came to bring you home. Ellie, Ada, Tommy, me and…Jesse.” Her voice broke slightly as she said his name. She tried to hide it but Joel heard it. The guilt immediately took a hold of him. Just one more person he’d failed. Jesse didn't deserve to die. He was so young and still had his whole life ahead of him. And now he was gone; because he’d gotten caught up in the mess that Joel had made. It wasn’t fair and if he could trade places with him…well Joel knew how much better it would be for everyone. He gently squeezed Dina’s hand. 

“I’m sorry Dina.” He said sincerely and to stick the jagged edge of his guilt even further; she just looked at him with watering eyes and smiled sadly.   

“It’s not your fault. It was Mike’s and I’m glad you killed the fucker. I just wish I’d gotten a chance to tell him…” she uttered. And Joel felt that sharp edge tear further through his chest when he realised what she meant. The baby. Jesus. Just when he thought he couldn’t feel worse. He cleared his throat as he felt his breath catching again. 

“About the baby?” He asked against the strain of his voice and Dina laughed softly as she pulled her hand away to wipe her eyes. “Of course Ellie told you. You gonna give me that fatherly talk about how I’m screwing up my life?” she teased and Joel shook his head. “No. I was the same age as you guys when I became a father for the first time. I ain’t gonna judge you.”

Dina seemed surprised by his answer but didn't say so as she took a moment to think over his words as she stood up and began pacing, her hands instinctively moving to her stomach, “I keep thinking about how he would have reacted.” She said, though it seemed more to herself then Joel. “Would he have been mad or upset or…” Joel wasn’t sure at this point if she was talking to him or just thinking aloud but he stood up to answer her question regardless. He could sense she needed the reassurance. And he figured that Ellie was right; if she and Dina were serious about raising this baby together than he guessed he would be their grandfather. 

“I think he’d be surprised but happy.” Joel said as Dina stopped pacing to look at him. “He was a decent young man with a good heart. Reckon he would’ve stepped up. Been a good father to the little one.” he smiled. And he meant every word. Dina seemed to appreciate it given her own smile. 

“Him.” She said suddenly looking down.  

“What?”

“I think it’s a him. I know it probably too soon to even say that but…I just have a feeling.” she shrugged and Joel smiled at her with that same warmth he did with Ellie.  

“Well a mother’s instinct is rarely wrong,” he said.

Dina was about to answer when Tommy called out that Ellie was back. They both made their way down to the foyer. The moment Ellie stepped inside Joel felt his insides turn cold. She was covered in blood and from one question from Tommy it didn’t take long to know that it wasn’t hers. What made it all the worse were the cuts and bruises that marked her skin. Her hands were shaking as she held out her map telling them she knew where Abby had taken her mother. 

As Dina took her away to help her get cleaned up he just stood numb watching them go. The air was thick with tension and the metallic smell of blood. For the first time in over twenty five years it actually turned Joel’s stomach. Ellie looked traumatized and the guilt of letting her go alone; of not being there to help or even do it himself so she didn’t have to, weighed even more now to the point he felt sick. 

Before Tommy had even had the chance to question him on his silence, Dina came rushing back into the room in a panic. 

Ellie couldn’t breathe. She was shaking and Dina didn’t know what to do to help. But Joel knew. He knew what was wrong as he asked her to stay with Tommy as he went into the backroom with his heart in his throat. 

He could hear her cries before he even stepped into the room; tentatively pushing the door open and hell if his heart didn't break at the sight. 

His daughter hunched over; her jeans stained and torn along with her shirt. Her hands in a small bucket of water as she scrubbed and scrubbed desperately to get them clean. “The blood…” she gasped. “It won't wash off…there's too much fucking blood…” she uttered scrubbing so harshly to the point her skin had started to bleed and peel, the crimson pooling in her palms and under her nails as it misted through the water, tinting it a pinkish hue. But she didn’t stop scrubbing, not until Joel gently kneeled down opposite her and took a hold of her hands to stop her. “Ellie...Ellie…it’s okay. Your hands are clean now, you can stop.” he said calmly. Like he was trying to not spook an skittish animal in his grasp. He could feel them shaking and when she looked up at him with those same wide watering eyes, he was right back in that burning restaurant. He could almost smell the smoke. 

There was silence for a moment but it was burdened by a sense of dread and pain. Ellie seemed to curl into herself. Her eyes looked at him but her gaze was a thousand miles away. “I…I got her to talk.” she said almost proudly before hearing her own words and gasping at the implication of it. Collapsing under the weight of her actions. “Oh god.” she whispered, utterly disgusted with herself. She moved to wipe her face which only resulted in smearing blood across her eyes as her breathing became more shallow and rushed. Joel knew what was happening. And it wasn’t the first time she’d suffered either. 

“Ellie, look at me…” he said softly. The redhead took a moment to focus on what he was saying as she tried to breath slowly but her mind and her adrenaline were both running too fast. “You see that picture over there?” he asked. Ellie followed where he pointed too and nodded. “I want you to describe it to me okay?” She wanted to object but he insisted. 

She didn’t really understand why he was asking such a thing of her but did it anyway. “Okay…there's a boat on the beach…” she said with shaken words, her heart still palpitating in her chest as it pushed against the tightness that seemed to close in every time she tried to take a breath. “...And uh…cliffs in the background with some kind of round building…” she explained; still not really understanding the point of all this. 

Joel just nodded as he kept hold of her hands. “That's good, can you describe the building for me?” he asked patiently. “Uh yeah…it had flags on it…and there's clouds in the sky. Its looks like its sunset or maybe sunrise. It's quiet. The beach looks calm.” she said and without realising it; her breathing had gone back to normal and her hands had stopped shaking. 

Looking back at Joel it was obvious he knew she’d figured out what he’d done. “Good job kiddo.” he smiled warmly before pulling her into a hug. She didn’t stop him as she hugged him back. He had grounded her just like her mom had done numerous times for him. She’d heard about it in passing from her mother on occasion. A panic attack. That was what she’d had. She’d seen Joel have them before but to actually have one herself had been terrifying. It’d felt like having a heart attack. Is this what her father experienced every time he had one? She couldn’t imagine. 

“You back with me kiddo?” Joel asked, pulling her back. She nodded as he pulled away slightly to see her face. “Yeah…I’m back.” she affirmed. “Good. I’ll send Dina back in to help you get cleaned up and then I'll make you something to eat okay?” he offered as he rose to his feet. Ellie could only nod gratefully, not really trusting her voice much at the moment. 

As Joel stepped out of the room, he sent Dina back in after him and walked past a waiting Tommy, ignoring every word his brother said. All the questions and concerns he knew he had. The only thing Joel could think about was that look of fear and haunting in Ellie’s eyes. This was what he’d always been afraid of. The hate and the anger becoming too much to the point it was poisoning his baby girl. That same look in her eyes as she’d walked through that door, drenched in the blood of someone else. Hands shaking and bruised from beating the life from another living being. Dina had looked at her the way Ada had looked at him back in Silver Lake. Beating David’s people for information. Never stopping until there was nothing left but a bloody mess. She was turning into someone Joel never wanted her to be. 

She was turning into him.