let's rock!

they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

theyre making another movie

I won’t let them.

I just love barking so I really couldn’t give a fuck if this is the right tree or not haha

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

thinking about developing a social skill soon

being moderately proficient with computers in the early 2010s was casting a hex on your family to call you sheldon

i got a big bang theory box set and a bazinga t shirt for christmas when i was 16

my dad wanted to get me a psych eval so i could say "im not crazy. my father had me tested." like sheldon did and after the psych eval they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia

this could be the funniest thing that has happened to anyone ever. my condolences king