lost where the forest would grow

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

They coyotes are free you can just take them...

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

This is really important

First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.

And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.

[ID: Tags by @/redrobin-detective that say, "#fma #honestly the first half straight up doesnt really make sense unless you know the military is a huge scam #like you can only justify wild teenage protagonist so far before its ridiculous". End ID]

[On phone] Whaddya mean I can't say it. Why the fuck not. [silence] Well how many guys do I need to fuck before I can say it

People who haven't seen Madoka Magica might not know this, but both the characters Mami and Homura are magical girls who use guns as weapons. But while Mami's gun are magical, Homura's are literally just normal guns she stole from the government.

oblivion is an abysmal game and everyone should play it

Farewell!

The comedic timing in this is Oscar worthy

talking to offline friends about your online drama is good, because they’re like “not only does this not matter, but it’s actively pissing me off that you’re talking about this.” and then talking to hyper online friends is the opposite, because they’ll be like “omggg it was horrible, they dragged your corpse into the public square and everyone was taking turns pissing in your mouth!”

and it's like, okay can you at least describe it in a way that isn't hot?