let the rain fall down

Stefan: Hello, [Insert Name Here]. Can I count on your vote this September? The election's only a few weeks away. Text 'VOTE' to secure your place in our campaign and to secure your spot at Stefan's Epic Campaign Party this Friday, 8pm at the trampoline gym. Thank you and #VoteStefan!

Sofia: Hello, Stanley! Always great to hear from one of my more esteemed and respectable classmates! In fact, I'd dare to even call you my friend, if you're comfortable with having that title!

Sofia: In my opinion, I think that it's viewed as more socially acceptable for females to have stuffed animals than males. I'm not saying that perception is right or that I agree with it, but that's my impression. However, I think that while your male compatriots might mock you for it, your female ones might find it endearing and adorable for you to have such a thing in your possession!

Sofia: I think you should follow your heart, and if your heart tells you to pursue this as a way to alleviate your homesickness, then don't let anyone tell you it's not the right course of action.

Stanley: Not to sound too excited but I would love that title! I don't have a lot of friends but that's because my standards for people I assosciate myself with are high and you've met them since I've met you!

Stanley: I would say that's an accurate perception but that society's perception of that is rooted in an institutional infantilizing of women and I don't want to participate in that way of thinking. I have more female friends than male anyway so that's something worth considering, thanks!

Monty: I think a better plan would be building a wall out of Legos so it feels like we live in two separate places, and maybe as a bonus you stepping on some of the Legos barefoot in the process, but sure, whatever.

Stanley: I actually wouldn't be opposed to building a wall out of Legos, provided you provide said Legos. I'm certainly not going out of my way to buy expensive childish bricks. Do you know how much those things cost? Its ridiculous!

Stanley: Hello, Blair, I'm hopeful that you're doing well. If it isn't rude to ask, I do have a question about something of a, well, spooky nature. I know vampires purportedly have to be invited inside but do you know if that holds true to other things? Like... ghosts?

Stanley: Not that I think I'm haunted necessarily but I SWEAR things go missing off my desk and off my chair all the time and if I'm haunted I'd rather know is all.

Stanley: Hi, Sofia! I hope you had a great summer! Since you're a colleague I really respect, I thought I'd ask you for an opinion before I messaged my parents about it and if you'd rather not answer, that's okay too, but I thought I'd ask either way!

Stanley: In your opinion, are we too old to have stuffed animals? Because I do miss the dogs at home and thought that maybe a stuffed animal doggie could fill the void but I don't want to do so if it'll make me look TOO strange to my peers.

I mean, we’re literally talking about a crazy lady, why do you think her logic would be sound? Okay, okay, jeez. I don’t care that much, keep being a buzzkill if you think it’s working for you. Do you have any other hobbies, though? Or are you like… all safety, all the time? 

Even crazy people have logic that makes sense to them! And of course I have hobbies. I like spending time with my dogs and playing music -- and, of course, organizing things. That’s always a good time! What about you? Any interests aside from giving me a hard time?

Sofia: While I agree that I AM inherently poised, there's also been a good deal of training that's gone into me being as polished and professional as I am, and I would be more than happy to make time to try and assist you in developing these same skills for yourself! Although you make quite an excellent impression already, you won't need nearly so much work as some of our other classmates!

Sofia: You're far from stupid! I imagine that when people... touch themselves, they aren't particularly spending time staring! Although I could be wrong, perhaps I just think that since the angle isn't nearly as accessible for females as it is for males! And I assure you that talking to your peers, if you ever feel the need, doesn't need to be any different than talking to your doctor! Some people are capable of being mature and scientific about matters rather than turning bodily actions that are by and large normal into something perverse!

Stanley: You would? I would hate to impose, I know you're a busy lady and I respect that very much. However, if you're sure you could make time to help refine my edges, I would be most obliged! Do you really think so?! That's so kind of you to say, thank you!

Again, it’s not changing your personality. It’s highlighting the good parts. If you study for 12 hours a day, and binge watch The Simpsons the other 12, which half would you tell a recruiter? The studying half, obviously. I hate to break it to you, but the real world is all about hiding parts of yourself. How do you think serial killers get jobs? If they told HR they were a serial killer, they’d be in jail. They tell them that they’re organized, detail oriented, artistic, and charismatic. People liking you for who you are applies to friends and family, not jobs and sororities. 

Highlighting the good parts is still denying the bad parts and I don't know, I think employers and other people in general deserve the truth. That's why you don't watch 12 hours of The Simpsons in the first place, or kill people, so you have nothing to hide -- and on that note, serial killers should be in jail so I'm not sure where you meant to go with that analogy.

She probably could if she needed to, she just had better clothes than my dad and uncle did so why would she? Dry cleaners are expensive and they might run off and steal her stuff. Yeah, okay. Policing the holidays seems a lot like hating them, or at least like you hate everyone else and don’t want them to have a better time than you. Everybody dies eventually, if they’re destined to die doing Halloween their way just let them do it. Although I didn’t hear about a single razor blade pop or whatever you think was going to happen to them. I don’t even think I heard about someone getting a candy cavity.

That's very unsound logic -- if she were afraid of dry cleaners, she wouldn't wear any of the furs she loved since there's no other way of cleaning them. Or, if she did, you're suggesting she never washed them which is disgusting and makes her even more terrifying to me. Policing? If offering people suggestions on how to stay safe and happy is policing, I'll do it forever, thank you very much. And that's good that you didn't hear about anything like that! Neither did I, which means people had a very successful Halloween, and I'd 100% rather have people be safe and happy than have had my worries be validated.

Really? I don’t know if that makes my heart hurt for you, or if it makes me happy that you live somewhere where cats are safe inside their homes rather than wandering the streets searching for scraps and facing the dangers of modern day traffic! Dogs and children are the most resilient of sorts, but I think it’s sweet that you worry. Your dogs will have longer lives because of it, I’m sure.

Well, perhaps just take this message to heart now and remember it for later! I’ve been informed that blatantly soliciting that sort of attention is… unflattering, even if there are occasions when I might need the reassurance more than others.

If you can't decide, then opt to feel happy -- that's my typical approach. I've had a very good life with all my dogs and I don't go out much, and I'm content with that as well. I can't help but worry about my fur babies; it's part of being a doggy parent, I think. I sure hope you're right, though. The pain of loss is too much.

Sofia: Well, what's stopping you? Plenty of people in the world make their mark without being born into power or having it thrust upon them. You certainly seem to have what it takes to make an impression, if you're willing to search for your avenue for making a difference!

Sofia: I think the eggplant might have a bit more to do with the... coloring, than the actual shape. Not that I'm an expert, of course! You certainly would know more about that than I would, but I know that being aroused and deprived of certain acts can lead to... well, blood flow and whatnot. Never mind, goodness, I don't like talking about things I don't fully understand, especially not ones that are so crude.

Sofia: I suppose it depends on how your companion reacts to it! I'd probably find the innuendo a bit embarrassing, but if it catapulted someone else to take action... Well, let's hope neither one of us has to find out!

Stanley: Going to school with actual royalty is a little discouraging lol. You all seem so inherently poised and... I don't know, its intimidating. And if I'm so easily intimidated by you all, I'm probably not leadership material enough.

Stanley: We don't have to talk about that, you're right. I don't usually talk about that stuff with anyone but my doctor lol. But before we cut out that part of the conversation, I want to say that I feel stupid because I never considered that it was related to the color at all.

Monty: Yes, gross??? How is that not obvious?