afterglow.

Jo: No! It'd be great. (:

Jo: See!!! SEE!! It'll be great, and you'll have a grand old time.

Faye: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WHO THE PRINCE WAS

Jo: No one says you have to fall in love with the guy! We needed participants, and it'd be perfect! Plus, I never ask you for favors and this is the one favor I'm asking you to do. Please? I'll...owe you???

Jo: It'd be such a good piece!!!

Faye: It WOULD but like...All of my readers know I'd be the absolute worst in that scenario.

Faye: Unless 🤔

Jo: Hey! I have a proposition for you.

Jo: RJ and I are doing A Royal Match, which is basically the bachelor. And I know you're doing some journalling pieces on romance and what not -- so, I maaayyy have signed you up for it.

Jo: For pure research!!

Not voluntarily. My cousin Kiza was an affectionate little bugger when she was a newborn. Needless to say, she did not take after my aunt Terk and I got paid extra oranges and bananas for babysitting. 

Having a solo dance party in your underwear is only fun until you get poofed to the middle of the jungle during it. 

@jodelabete and @stanleyradcliffe, easily. 

Nerds do deserve to have fun, but in their own way! I’d rather be home reading a book. Or writing a new one.  I’m sure they will; it seems like everyone out here is in love with love. I mean, is anyone tired of the sappy shit that happens all the time? I’m sure your piece will go off great. And thanks, but I’d rather not have this on my resume. 

Let me rephrase -- nerds deserve to exist outside of their homes and comfort zones. I’ll agree that it all seems highly unrealistic, but there’s a part of me that’s a sucker for classic romance. Sparingly, of course. Being featured in the newspaper has nothing to do with your resume! I’d love to interview people from all sides of the project. And that includes you. 

Oh, I’m sure that whoever you end up going with is going to adore you. You’re wonderful. Unfortunately, I’m helping with the Walt Bachelor. I got roped into it, and I guess RJ is my friend so I kind of don’t mind helping. But I won’t put it on a resume. 

Well, I say the same for you. We’re a couple of nerds, but nerds should be allowed to enjoy themselves too, dammit. Oh! That thing is happening, I forgot. I might report on it while it’s happening -- depends on how my article for the dance goes, and whether or not the audience responds well to ‘lovey dovey romance bullshit’. Time will tell! Maybe I’ll have to interview you, Big Producer Person.  

faye porter valentine’s ball look 2k20

I don’t think it’s an overplayed concept at all, but maybe that’s me being biased as a fellow introvert who’d rather learn about experiences from reading about them than, say, living them out himself. The matchmaker seems so… anxiety building, really. But if you want to try, I say try! It’ll make a fascinating story, but just about anything you write really is.

Right!?! Though, I suppose people have shared their matchmaker plights before. I think I’ll enter, and see how an article fares. If I don’t meet the love of my life (which I won’t), maybe I’ll make it a Single Girl series of some sort. So I take it you’re not entering? 

I’m not going to lie, I really don’t read the newspaper anyway, but that sounds like something you could turn into a fun series on Instagram? People start watching stuff before they realize they’re not really interested in it, and by then you’re hooked and you want to follow the saga. Finding a different hook might be good, though? Like starting with introverts makes it harder for you to get the extroverts to care.

On Instagram? Like...on my story? That’s where I put little gif surveys. I’m not much of a camera person, especially for things that could be written down. Thanks, though, that definitely makes sense. I guess it’s something I’m kind of struggling with right now -- when we’re not going through crazy stuff like the magic barrier breaking or other news-worthy stuff, what can I write about that people will read? 

INSTAGRAM: FAYEBRADLEYPORTER UPLOADED A PHOTO!

not pictured: the old 90s phone I ordered to make this look work. Thanks @stanleyradcliffe for inspiration behind this costume. :P  #FinalGirl #SidneyPrescott #Scream 

A wedding is a wedding is a wedding – I don’t care whose it is, they’re all stuffy. You don’t go to parties? You’re not missing out on much, to be honest. Big parties are too much, kickbacks with a few people you really like and trust and can get trashed around is where it’s at. It’s a fireman costume with the midsection burned off. I wanted something to show off my abs so it’s an option but the logistics are hard. A mime? Why not just go as a wallflower at that point?

Stuffy? How about ‘a celebration of love’? I mean, they’re just glorified parties in that way, aren’t they? Yeah, I think I’d agree with you there -- I almost always prefer small get-togethers. Though those always end up super emotional and vulnerable. Oh! Thatt’s really clever. Sage Gothel thought of that? You really didn’t strike me as a ‘sexy costume’ kind of guy, that’s so fun that you’re into showing off your...abs. I think a mime is a fun costume! I don’t have to talk to anyone all night, it’s a win/win. 

I’m sorry, but most truths are unsettling truths! At least knowing them makes you a little safer, right? Because you can prepare. I like true crime because it keeps me vigilant. And final girls tend to be the smart girl in the series, so I’d say books qualify, yeah. Um, I just meant that you’re really pretty? But I didn’t want to say it like that because I didn’t want to be weird and accidentally objectify you or something – it’s just part of the genre, the smart and pretty girl making it all the way. And really? I would love that role, as long as my dogs live! Slasher movies where the dogs die are the absolute worst.

I knoooooow, but I much prefer cute truths like otters hold hands to keep from floating away from each other! I like true crime because I’m fascinated by it but it also gives me anxiety. Is that what you mean by “vigilance”? Anxiety? ...Oh. You’re right, I guess. About the smart girl thing! If I agreed with you on the pretty thing, I’d sound so conceited which is worse than weird and objectifying, which you definitely weren’t, by the way. So thank you. I think? The third-act death is totally always a fan-favorite, I think it’s super fitting for you. Ugh, animal deaths stress me out so much. I have so many family members that are animals so it hits way harder. 

Wait, under the Snuggly Duckling? Is this some kind of like, secret-basement prohibition type party? Or a weird, spooky, ‘we’re hanging out underneath a house in a dirty crawlspace’ thing? Or just like… a badly written sentence? Either way, that sounds kind of weirdly badass, how do I score an invite to that one? 

But uhhh, on the costume front, I kind of wing it. I have so much random sports memorabilia lying around that it’s pretty easy to toss something on last minute and always have it look different. That way my mum won’t see pictures and think I had a reaaaaaally crazy night, it’ll be easier for her to tell it was separate nights and that I understand what it means to ‘pace myself.’ Sort of.

Yeah, apparently it’s being thrown anonymously? No one wants to show their face if they’re competing with the @ pack for Halloween party guests, I guess.