the ostomy files

As of December 8th, I had my total proctocolectomy, which has been three years coming. 

Since my original surgery for my ileostomy had so many complications and infections, we waited as long as we could to go back in. After minimal thought, for me the full deal was the best way to go. I looked into j-pouch surgery, but at the end of the day for me - not worth it. 

I have to say, I am rather happy with the choice. I’ve grown to really like having Stan Lee (my stoma) and having him is a lot more comfortable. 

The first half of recovery was short, only 5 days in hospital, then I was sent home. Much better than my 41 and a 1/2 days after my last surgery. I have 18 inches of staples in my mid section, partly due to the proctocolectomy and because I had to have a hernia removed from my stoma. I’m not sure exactly how many stitches, but dare I say they are a pain in the ass? ha! 

I’ve been home for two weeks and half of my staples are gone, the surgeon has decided to leave some for a little while longer, to make sure nothing came open. Now to heal everything up, so far so good. 

It’s 6 weeks before I can do too much. No heavy lifting, no driving myself, no strenuous exercise or activity. In the time I have been home, I’ve left my house a total of 5 times. It’s safe to say I am going a bit crazy sitting in. Now that the Holidays are almost over the people are slowing on their visits and I believe January may be a long month. 

To say I am interested to see what 2017 brings would be an understatement, but whatever it brings - I am sure it will be all kinds of thrilling. I can’t wait to get back into working the horses (who have both came up lame as well), showing, traveling, and getting into all kinds of crazy with friends. 

Actually, I have told part of my story. In a very public, well respected magazine. I didn’t pen it myself, but I did tell the writer the story, along with some things she knew from being there during everything. Oh, even better, my photo is in a world spread magazine and - wait for it - I have my clothes on! You can see it here

It's rather late right now, around 11:30 PM AST actually, when I see world trending news and notice the word “ileostomy” among the headlines. Awesome! I think, I have one of those. Curious as I am, I click the link to read about the lady in the article. Like many of us, she has had surgeries, removal of intestines, bowels, etc and now has an ostomy.

As I am reading, I begin to wonder: Why is this world news? Why is she more special than anyone else who suffers from crohn's or colitis?

Then it hits me: she like every other person who “makes news” about this disease, they have something in common. They posted a half naked selfie.

Now, I have nothing against people posting half naked or naked selfies. Do whatever you want is how I see the selfie game. I mean hey, 3/4 of my selfies have my horses in them.

What bothers me is why does the public only want to talk about these diseases, when someone is a model or half naked in the photos?

Okay, this could come off like a jealous rant, or whatever, but this is a serious question. Why?

This is something that millions live with every day. People, around the world, wake up every day with an ostomy. They have gone through surgeries, physical and emotional trauma, they have missed school/work/life events because of this disease. Why do we only focus on it when someone thin, model like, and half naked posts the photo?

Before you say: that isn't true, we talk about it whenever someone with an ostomy comes forward...No we don't.

Actually, unless you have an ostomy, you don't even notice when someone posts a selfie with their bag unless they are barely dressed.

I am thrilled people want to support those of us with an ostomy, awesome. Good for you. But do it because you care or want to learn about the disease that fucks up people's lives. Not because you see a half naked girl. Don't label a select few as heroes, when there are many, many more out there doing the same thing.

Are we so brainwashed, as a culture, we only hold those with certain beauty standards at the top? Are we so brainwashed that we don't take into account the countless others, who are told their photos are “disgusting”, “inappropriate”, and “uncalled for”?