flute lessons for the blind

i fled the life my parents provided

only to find the rest of the world supported them

i didn’t want what was wanted

i just pretended i did

because my experience with where those likeminded haunted

was that predatory sex was their opening bid

yet where the american dream

was knitted tightly at the seams

i couldn’t stitch myself into the fabric

because nothing held my interest

and that which did

didn’t hold anyone else’s interest

because you couldn’t make money

minding the store of such things

for me happiness and meaning

couldn’t be purchased

others had nothing in common with me

and with their interests i was bored

i was never enhanced by exercises in futility

separation from social circles is my utility

it’s not necessarily functional

but fiery collisions

leave me feeling like an impact crater

mimicking the minefields of the void

no solutions, it’s all been deployed

now i just reinforce the walls

that obscure the view of our unshared illusions

          (Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it is the ocean – Thich Nhat Hanh)

“I think therefore I am” and it’s contribution to western orthodoxy, especially religious fundamentalism sustains, to our determent, a designer duality, whereas nondual awareness is a state of consciousness described as a background field of unified, immutable awareness that exists prior to conceptual thought.

          In other words:

Everything is god

Nothing ever happened except god

The divine is the only ultimate reality, every unfolding event is simply the movement of that singular, eternal presence.

The material universe is an illusion, an expression of one unified divine consciousness, there are no separate things happening, only the continuous unfolding of god experiencing itself.

God, or all that is, cannot be defined in limited human terms. It is the sum of all probabilities, the origin of all realities, and the infinite ocean of all potential from which the universes arise. All that is, is experienced through all of its creations, including you.

Reality is not fundamentally divided into separate, opposing entities. The perception of a split between subject and object, self and other, mind and matter, is an illusion, everything is a seamless, indivisible whole.

The act of perceiving and the phenomenon perceived are one.

A state of pure, unified awareness prior to conceptual thought is a direct experience rather than a strict intellectual belief.

Rather than just claiming “all are one” emphasize that things cannot be separate from each other.

The individual soul is identical to the ultimate reality or universal consciousness. (All that divides us from the sea of infinite consciousness at this point is a thin envelope of personal identity. That envelope cannot be removed by any amount of will; the “I” cannot erase itself. Yet, abruptly, it does vanish. In the climax of meditation the barrier of individuality disappears, dissolving in a sea of pure, undifferentiated, awareness – Eknath Easwaran)

All phenomena lack inherent, separate existence.

Harmony is a seamless whole where opposites are seen as complementary aspects of the same reality rather than conflicting dualities.

Approach life non-dualistically, transcending the limits of language and logic.

The multiplicity of thought constructs is not fully real.

I am not responsible for your illusions, nor for that matter are they my problem. Only you can end your attachment to your illusions.

(Old Newtonian physics claimed that things have an objective reality separate from our perception of them. Quantum physics, and particularly Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, reveal that, as our perception of an object changes, the object itself literally changes. – Marianne Williams)

          6 24 2026

Non-duality implication

On my walk this morning I began thinking about words I had written down:

“Everything is god

Nothing ever happened except god”

and instead of wondering how such an idea fit in with my existing thoughts about god I realized if what I had also written:

“The material universe is an illusion, an expression of one unified divine consciousness, there are no separate things happening, only the continuous unfolding of god experiencing itself.” is my understanding then I needed to release my preconceived concepts and consider that god is not a conveyance of judgement with regards to my beliefs and actions but that all action ever by everyone who has ever been, regardless of my opinion assigned by all those indoctrinations I’ve been exposed to that god, more than any other trait, is holy with that holiness being clearly defined in orthodoxy within their sacred scriptures, has been god’s actions and my perception has been obscured by the fog of the illusions of my beliefs of what god is and our actions as being separate and usually unacceptable to god’s standards, when I should view all of history and present activity as being god doing it itself. Within this framework I considered that our model of god has been deceptively fashioned causing questions created by confusion that if god is why would it allow such a thing to happen? Yet god is existing beyond our comprehension of what we expect from god within the context of what god is, leaving us unable to fathom that it has been god throughout the entire universe being god and that we might want to possibly accept that fraction of space we occupy we fill with constructs about our value and significance until we experience nothing but frustration and discontent because what we are perceiving through the lens of self-importance god is not experiencing or is experiencing because it chose to which includes our being unable to commune with the divinity within everything and everyone because we believe we are separate from god.

downtown los angles or boarding at union station

me accompanying me is no longer a vacation

intoxication is the only escape from myself

i’m the unbearable burden affecting mental health

black out curtains, party décor for getting black out drunk

but before learning alcohol life had made me punch-drunk

no fear of hell, know all too well abandonment by god

razor thin path to pearly gates, hell’s well walked way is broad

although, in hell, i’ll be reunited with my parents

they’ll return to beating me to pay the devil their rent

soundtrack to hell, harmonious sounds of beatings and screams

your only thought? “i lost the lyrics to my book of dreams”

hell isn’t just for those who lived luxuriously

transition for someone like me? slide into with an ease

childhood victim: sexual abuse, parental violence

adulthood expectations? productiveness and silence

but believe me you can only fake that for just so long

you never stop believing beatings are because you’re wrong

and let’s not forget that the roots of capitalism

seeds of work ethic, calvinism, lutheranism

virtue is blessed in abundance

prosperity the evidence

your struggles are god’s grace withheld

unto labor you are expelled

there are no victims just unproductive capitalist

your value? single minded teamwork to increase profits

decadent poor congregate in crevasses and cracks

your rights exist in a night stick that patrols in packs

there are no victims who struggle and suffer just targets

you are worthy of hell on earth, afterward tartarus

colloquial conformity is a purgatory

endure labor as penance, guaranteed eternity

i stay away and lick my wounds

and find my fellowship in tunes

like minded lyrics lifting me

a home for my identity

i know with you i don’t belong

i know we’d never get along

survival’s neither right nor wrong

nor defined as weak or as strong

healing’s not appealing to you

take your approval and get screwed

i don’t know where all this will lead

but your toxins will make me bleed

so scream your indoctrinated thoughts into nietzsche’s void

even the echoes of your energy i will avoid

can’t keep pretending i’m o.k.

calling Hekate everyday

for years and years i have been here

all alone, all ghosts disappear

broken, unspoken, given up

euthanized wound licking lost pup

only the grave can ever save

divine love employs only slaves

to mimic their hate, call it love

sacrifice all for shit from doves

to be like god be self-absorbed

god’s not love it’s a binding cord

it’s all a lie there’s no rescue

bitch, witch, menu barbeque

non-duality is correct

people ignore, makes them perfect

labels, fables, justify

dismiss, judas kiss, Satan lies

tear off a piece of yourself

bookmark the page and find the shelf

that’s lined with books where no one looks

the prophecy of the good book

of their concern is if you learn  

you are worthy if they discern

if you enhance their advance

improving their circumstance

otherwise burden compromise

salvation’s for who they baptize