It’s a Mummified Cat On A

Renfri: weak, I sleep with a sword.

Jaskier: You‘re both pathetic.

Yennefer: Oh? What do you sleep with?

Imagine being Stregobor tho.

This witcher disrespected you and you taught him a lesson by destroying his reputation, saddling him with the title of butcher of blaviken for the rest of his life, ensuring that people will always look at him with disgust, hatred and fear.

And then some fucking bard from nowhere writes an absolute banger about him and you suddenly can’t go fucking anywhere without hearing ‘ohhh valley o’ plentyyy!’ somewhere in the background.

The witcher is now a legend, a sodding folk hero.

Just imagine

the pure

incoherent

So yes, everyone knows Jaskier is a sweet cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

But

He’s also a completely insane fucking son of a bitch, like did y’all miss how the first thing he comes up with when he thinks he’s got a fucking djinn doing his bidding 

Is sending said djinn to outright kill a motherfucker???

Did y’all sleep through that? Valdo Marx ring a bell?

This bitch has the stones to go around fucking the wives of anyone, no matter how powerful or likely to hang him? Sing about abortion? Get punched in the family jewels by a witcher and keep following him? Make snide comments at Yennefer of fucking Vengerberg and y’all think he’s some kind of helpless puppy?

Jaskier has Feral Slav Energy in perfect balance and symbiosis with Flower Child Energy and I Respect That And So Should You Or Your Mom A Hoe

Sea Glass By IG: @seaglass_takechan