ray

It was a little embarrassing for you because you bought the exact same set just because of him. It was a cute white and purple keyboard with little yellow stars littered throughout the buttons, with a matching mouse. 

You felt extremely parasocial, but you couldn’t help it. Even without his face showing, he had an attractive voice and you were a firm believer that pretty hands meant an equally pretty face. You knew he took care of himself well enough for his nails to be healthy and clean and his fingers moisturized and nice. You were very observant, to the point that you found yourself to be a little creepy, even. 

And it wasn’t just his hands and voice. Lumiere was extremely your type when it came to hobbies, conversations, and humor. It had gotten to the point of reading fanfics on AO3 and Tumblr of other people imagining how it would be to be with him. Which, as you thought about, seemed a bit too much for someone who actually existed.

This interest of yours was very much your own little secret. Your fansites were under pseudonyms and you never peeped a word about him at work or with your friends. You wanted to say you weren’t ashamed, but you were very much so. It just felt a little too silly for you to have a crush on a man whose name you don’t even know and a face you had never even seen.

And yet, the fascination continued. 

The humming of the train bled through your earphones as you watched Lumiere play the same video game that had taken over lots of sleepless nights. He was a really good player. And although other streamers have been known to be really aggressive and even rage over the game, Lumiere was extremely calm. Even in ranked games, he acted as if it truly was just a game. That was extremely important to you.

starlight: can you play adc? id luv to learn from you!

You chatted into his stream, wanting to see him play a role you were bad at. It was something you often did and although sometimes you were drowned out by the chat, he would reply to you the rest of the time. Hearing your username being said by him made you feel something embarrassing. You sometimes wished you added your actual name. 

“Thanks for coming back, starlight. I’ll play adc for you…shouldn’t you be at work though?” A small chuckle boomed softly through the mic. 

You heard yourself hiccup. He was good at remembering small things and the fact that he remembered your schedule was making you shiver in your seat on the train. It even almost made you miss your stop.

Your eyes were glued to your phone as you made your way through the crowd of other office workers trying to get to work. You’ve taken the path to the building hundreds of times so you were confident that 80% of your attention could stick to Lumiere.

starlight: yes…but i’ll be bored without you !

starlight: without watching you, i mean !!  jdfskjfweo

Another small chuckle. You were sure that if you looked at your reflection on a building window, you’d be greeted by a tomato. Your cheeks felt hot and your heart was fluttering. It was hard to feel embarrassed with all the emotions soaring through your veins. 

It would have been embarrassing to say out loud, but your infatuation ran deep. You recalled a dream you had a few nights before as you watched his fingers move across the keyboard. Even with his face blurred out and unrecognizable, since you didn’t know what he looked like, you couldn’t help but feel the heat in between your legs as you had flashbacks. 

The thoughts of his fingers roaming on every inch of your skin made you shiver as your eyes watched every movement on his stream. Your thighs squeezed against each other as indecent thoughts filled your brain. You may have had the biggest crush on a faceless streamer, but you were free.

—

At least you thought you were free.

Work was hectic as always. Your head was buried in stacks of paperwork and you couldn’t even pay attention to Lumiere doing exactly what you had asked him to. You even heard him call you out.

“Starlight doesn’t seem to be in the chat anymore…maybe she got busy. Just in case she’s listening, let’s play another ADC game.” He said, humming to himself. “This might be the last morning stream…I think I’ll have to switch the schedule to nighttime streams soon.” Your ears perked enough to pay attention since your schedule was going to change along with his. “Unfortunately…I have been employed. I should become a part of the working society since I didn’t get three degrees for nothing, right guys?” He laughed. “Nothing wrong with playing games all day! I just want to explore other areas for the meantime. Don’t be mad…please?”

The way he said everything made you melt. It was extremely hard to be upset, but you were going to miss the live streams.

It just didn’t help with your infatuation for the faceless man. Three degrees meant he was smart and education motivated. It was attractive. And the fact that he could definitely be well-off as-is by being a streamer since he was so popular, and yet he chooses to work normally. It felt so mature. 

Your daydream was interrupted by your name being called to the meeting room. 

The usual monthly meeting was as boring as the last one. Right until the last minute. Until your bosses announced the least boring news.

“We’re going to have a new employee starting tomorrow, so please welcome him warmly. They used to work in a similar position before so he’ll just need a refresher.” Your boss pointed the stack of papers towards you, “Are you free to train him? Your big assignment is due by the end of the day today, right?” 

You nodded sheepishly, caught slightly off guard.

“Good, you should be free by tomorrow then. I’ll provide the paperwork on your desk by the morning. Meeting dismissed.” They said before turning on their heels and exiting the room. 

The moment your boss left, the room erupted with hushed whispers. It was all excitement for the newcomer. It had been almost a year since the last new employee so everyone was getting sick of each other. The newcomer was sure to stir the pot. It was almost like when you were back in high school and a transfer student came.

The ladies were most excited knowing that the new guy was a guy. And you would have been lying if you said you weren’t curious either. None of your current coworkers piqued your interests, although you found yourself not really interested in dating anyways. It just didn’t hurt to daydream a little. 

Even at your desk, the whispers of everyone else filled the room. Rumors zipped around about the new employee being a secret millionaire or him being a delinquent that was actually the son of the CEO. All sorts of ideas came to like the dramas you would watch at home. And you started thinking of it too. Chuckling to yourself as you think it would be the heir of the richest man trying to fit in a small white-collared job; wondering if he would be into you instead of every other beauty in the office. You bit your lip to suppress a laugh.

You grew up watching all sorts of Asian dramas that had outlandish, unrealistic plots of a rich man with a poor woman in the type of office space that you worked in now. It made every drama even more unrealistic when you finally landed the job. There weren’t any secret office romances or any flirting with the boss. It was just work. The only good thing that came out of it was good pay and a fun lunch downstairs. 

—

You ended up arriving home a lot later than you thought. The big assignment your boss had mentioned ended up taking a lot longer due to issues on other people’s ends. You were just happy to be done by the time you hit submit. 

Your feet were being dragged through the road as you took yourself home from the train station. The bag on your shoulder felt heavier than it did earlier, and you were just excited to hop into the shower. Even when you knew that you had to do everything all over again the next day. 

The apartment that you lived in was comfortable. You had made it your home just a few months after moving in. The only thing you regretted was not being close to any of your neighbors. You had always wanted to make more friends considering it was hard to make them at work and you rarely saw the ones you did have. But it didn’t help that you would leave the house too early and get home too late at times to really interact with your neighbors; not that you really made an effort when you were at home all day. 

You entered your apartment’s bright lobby, an old Lumiere video playing on the one earphone in your ear to dull out the bustling street noises. The marble floors were shiny and made the place look more expensive than it really was. You made your way into the elevator, hitting the floor you lived on and as the doors closed, a hand reached out to stop them. 

The man would have looked suspicious if you didn’t recognize him. The usual white hoodie over a light blue shirt, it was the neighbor who lived right above yours. His hoodie was up over his head with sunglasses on, and after the last year of seeing him with them on at random times, you had stopped questioning it. He gave you an acknowledging nod before standing beside you, pressing the floor above yours. 

The audio to your video seemed to have been acting up and you pulled your phone out to check. Lumiere’s voice had seemingly layered onto itself or glitched. It wasn’t until you felt a poke on your shoulder that you took your earphone off and realized he was talking to you.

Your neighbor looked at you awkwardly and waved. 

His voice…

“Y-yeah? Sorry, did you say something?” You stumbled on your words.

He took his glasses off and showed his blue eyes, almost piercing into you. It was then that you realized that your upstairs neighbor was actually really handsome. His silver hair looked soft and his skin was flawless. He pointed at your badge, “It’s a stupid question now that I’m asking it again, but do you work there? For UNICORNS?”

You didn’t realize that you still had it attached to your shirt, and you were too stunned by his visuals and how he sounded just like Lumiere. You couldn’t even cover the embarrassing photo they took of you on your first day at the job. “I-I do! Yeah!” You rushed to say. 

“What a coincidence. I start my first day tomorrow, I wonder if I’m in your department…” He cocked his head to the side, pondering, before reaching his hand out to you. A pretty hand. “I’m Xavier, by the way.”

Your eyes widened, surprised at yourself with how much you were ogling at him. But you somehow broke out of your trance to shake his hand and introduce yourself. “You have a nice voice, Xavier.” You accidentally blurted out. “Oh. Sorry, sometimes I-” You tried to go back on your words but the elevator dinged. 

Xavier’s smirk grew as you fumbled with your words. Your eyes must have looked helpless since he ended up chuckling and reaching out to hold the elevator doors. “Thank you,” he said along with your name. And the way he said it was unbelievably attractive. “I hope to see you tomorrow.” He gestured for you to get off onto your floor.

“Goodnight.” You mumbled, quickly walking off before stopping a few feet. You turned back around just as the doors were closing and you managed to say, “Good luck!” Just as they closed. His blue eyes still peeked through beforehand.

As you walked into your apartment, you were thinking about how you never noticed how attractive your neighbor was; but you were mainly focused on how his voice sounded like the one you fell asleep to every night. In order to help you sleep at night, you just came to the conclusion that attractive people all sound the same. 

–

As you were about to head out to work in a rush, a knock on the door interrupted your thoughts for the day. You checked the time on your phone and decided to grab everything on your way to answer the door since it was almost time to catch the train.

You opened the door to find your neighbor again. Xavier.

He was dressed in a blue button-up, a striped navy jacket on his arm, with matching dress pants. His thin frames seemed to have accentuated the blue color of his eyes. “Hi…” Xavier said, waving his hand at you, a small smile playing on his lips.

“H-hi, Xavier.” You responded, slightly stunned at his appearance. Not only did he look attractive in casual clothes, but it felt as if it was multiplied by a hundred times in his formal wear. Your neck even had to crane up slightly due to the height difference, and you always had a thing for taller guys.

A soft silence played in-between the two of you. Just the two of you looking at each other with curiosity in your eyes.

“I just wanted to uh-” He scratched the back of his neck, looking away, as if he suddenly remembered why he was there. “Did you want a ride to work? Since…we’re both going to the same place anyways…”

You cocked your head to the side, questioning him. “You’re either a saint or someone planning to murder me…” You half-joked.

His smile came back to his face before pulling his phone out and scrolling for a moment. And then he faced it towards you. “This is my onboarding letter, if it helps.”

Welcome to UNICORNS as one of our new Front End Engineers!

Your eyes widened as you read through the letter. “You’re the new person I’m training!” 

His eyes mimicked yours, widening by surprise. And then it was as if he was releasing everything off of his shoulders, clutching at his chest. “Oh I’m so glad.” His smile reached up to his eyes as they wrinkled with joy. “It’s my first office job in a while and…” He looked at you gratefully. “I’m glad it's you…I stayed up all night because I was so nervous.” 

The way he seemingly twinkled in front of you made you stare at him with awe. You wondered if this was really the man you were supposed to spend the rest of the week with, on top of living in the same building as him. It almost felt like you hit the manhwa lottery. “Don’t ease up yet, I could be really strict at work.”

Xavier loosened up his collar and fumbled with his cuff links. “I’d rather have it be my neighbor than a mean older man.” He smiled down at you, straightening himself up. “But throw everything at me today, trust me. I can take it.” 

You were enjoying the small talk between the two of you that you didn’t realize that you had already missed your train. It was odd to you that despite years of being unable to make new friends, you felt that you were able to click with Xavier quickly. “I guess…I’ll take you up on that ride to work.” You bit your lip.

“Cool…it’s, um, good for the environment to carpool.” He stepped aside to let you close your door and walk with him to the elevator. “How long have you been working with UNICORNS?”

You had to think for a moment. “I think it’s been two years and a half. I started out as an associate but was able to become front end pretty quickly.” You turned to him, cocking your head with curiosity. “Did you do front end work beforehand? Normally everyone starts out as an associate.”

He pressed his lips together in a thin line as he looked around awkwardly. “Yeah…I did it for another company. I also have a lot of connections that let me skip that route, but I am a hard worker.”

You waved your hands in front of you to dispute any concerns. “I’m not accusing you of anything! I was just curious…I’ll have to see about the ‘hard working’ part though.” You smirked at him to lighten the mood. Although you were a little jealous that he was able to move up quickly, you didn’t really doubt his experience. And if anything, you still ranked up rather fast since this was your first job.

The car ride to work was really nice, compared to the bustling train ride. Xavier owned an extremely beautiful luxury car which he became flustered showing as he noticed your surprised eyes. He had said that it was a dream car of his which he saved up for using the money he made on the side. Which made you more curious about his character since it seemed like the car was worth 10 months of rent.

Your phone pinged right at the usual time when Lumiere would normally stream with a note saying his apologies and that his stream will be at night starting from then on.

You saw Xavier peek over at your phone at the red light and you instantly shut-it, making him chuckle. “Sorry to be nosy, but I didn’t peg you to be someone who watched Legends streams.”

You cleared your throat as you looked out the window, “U-uh…sometimes. I’m not too good at the game so I like seeing people who are.” And then you looked at him. “Don’t say anything at work about it, though…It’s kind of embarrassing for me.”

“Really? I think it makes you…cool.” He smiled. “I play too…maybe we can play sometimes? I promise to keep it a secret.”

You chuckled softly, “Maybe…” Deep down, you were embarrassed. It was quelled only a bit by his assurance, but this was a part of you that you kept hidden. You had grown up thinking that video games were a waste of time, and yet there you were. And now someone knew about it–someone that you didn’t even know at all. You chewed on your lip as you thought way too hard about the implications of it all. 

“Lumiere’s a pretty good player, but personally…I think I’m better than him.” Xavier said, causing you to whip your head towards him.

You realized that your reaction was too reactive and tried to play it off, clearing your throat and pretending to stretch your neck. “Interesting…” You muttered.

He chuckled, “Is he really that good?”

“Well, I don’t know how you play. I just find it hard to believe…” You nodded, attempting to not go full defense-mode.

“Find out, then.” The car hit another red light and he looked over at you. “Play with me tonight.”

“I’m not that good, I think. I don’t play too much.” You responded, flustered. 

“I doubt that. And if anything, I’ll show you how good I am by making up for what you think you lack.” The car started again and when you peered over, he looked proud of himself.

You found yourself smiling too, since you never had anyone to play with before. It was rare to find someone nice in-game and you would always be too shy to queue up with them. “I guess we can play…if you’re good at work and we don’t end up ripping each other’s hair out by the end of the day.”

You were worried about arriving to work together, but everyone had assumed that you met him at the lobby. Surprisingly, no one had seen the two of you from the garage. 

Xavier’s introduction went as you expected. He was so handsome that it caused a lot of wandering eyes. The whispers weren’t as hushed as the people thought, and you could see Xavier’s ears turn red at times. The only hard thing about training him was all the people coming up to introduce themselves. 

Although Xavier was very warm and welcoming to you outside, he was actually rather stoic at work. He exchanged simple greetings to the people who tried to get to know him, but he didn’t show enough interest that people slowly gave up. 

In terms of work, Xavier was excellent. You gave him a rundown of the company itself and daily works, and then you tested him on handling coding issues. And he was so quick at spotting mistakes that even you would take a few minutes to find despite your experience. It made you question how long he had been working in the industry. You thought that it was going to take a whole week to fully train him, but you were rather confident that he would be able to work alone in half that time. 

He was working in the desk across from yours and you couldn’t help but steal glances throughout the day. You could see that everyone had the same idea. The way his eyebrows furrowed together as he filled out his additional onboarding paperwork, and the way his forehead showed whenever he ran his fingers through his hair. It was easy to say that he was the most handsome man on the team. And the other guys knew it. You wondered if it was going to be an issue, but Xavier wasn’t paying attention to anyone.

Xavier then said your name, and despite it being a call for your attention, it seemed to have called the entire table’s attention as well. “Can you tell me what to do with this thing?” He pointed at his screen, making you stand up and move to where he was. As you moved around the table, you could see the people looking at the two of you, pretending to be busy on their own keyboards. You could tell it was nonsensical typing, though. 

He had a little notepad open, and you could see the notes he took of things you taught him. His handwriting was a lot prettier than yours, almost a perfect cursive. As if he had been practicing calligraphy all his life. It wasn’t usual for someone in computer science who spent all their career typing to have beautiful handwriting and yet he did. Xavier asked how to navigate the program that all of you worked on, and as you explained, you saw how his hands rested on his desk. It was hard to ignore how pretty his hands were, but you found yourself chuckling at how his left ring to index fingers rested on the ‘Q’ ‘W’ ‘E’ keys, whilst his right hand held his mouse. It was a clear sign of a Legends player. 

The sound of your laughter left before you could even remember that everyone was watching you, and you tried to cover it up with a cough. You didn’t know how the rest of them took it, but you knew Xavier caught on. 

Under his breath, he asked, “What’s funny…?” His eyes met yours with innocent confusion. You had just realized then that your faces were close to each other and you backed up instantly, looking away as you felt your face warm up. Even up close he was handsome. His silver eyelashes made his blue eyes pop even more and it intimidated you, despite how softly he looked at you. 

“U-uh.” You stammered, before lowering your voice and pointing at his hands. “You just seem to be always ready to play.” You attempted to keep your face straight because you usually felt embarrassed when you noticed yourself in the same position after a night of playing until two in the morning. 

Xavier laughed for the first time in the office. “I guess so.” He looked at you again with his eyes crinkled and you wanted to reciprocate the laughter. Yet people were still watching.

You cleared your throat and pointed back at the screen, continuing to train him. Somewhere inside of you felt excited. It felt as if you actually had a friend, and despite how awkward it felt to have the attention on you, you were excited for work again. 

—

You started packing up after the long day. You had to stay later again to be able to finish a mistake in one of the programs that one of your coworkers had missed. It was hard to say ‘no’ to people due to your fear of being more disliked by others. Although you were sure that no one actually hated you, it was just awkward since no one wanted to really become friends either. So you found yourself stepping up a lot. 

Xavier had gone home earlier, right at 5pm. When he was dismissed by the boss, he looked at you expectantly. As if waiting for you to ask him to wait for you, but you waved him off. You knew that you were going to be there for a longer time. He still seemed hesitant, but he eventually left after pretending to fidget around his desk for a moment. 

You wondered if it was going to be a regular thing of riding with Xavier to work. It did make sense since carpooling is always nice and better for the environment. You just hoped that you two would become closer friends soon so that it would feel more natural. 

As you were about to push your chair in to leave, you saw a ping on your phone. 

lumiere: Sorry I lied! See U guys tomorrow (maybe). I’m still stuck at my j*b…Forgive me…please?

You sighed as you clicked your phone off, but you didn’t think you were going to watch him live that night anyways. Since Xavier had said he wanted to play the game with you. It was a weird thought in your mind, that you were choosing an actual person over your favorite streamer.

You felt like you were growing, just a little bit. 

You walked out of the office and were walking towards the elevator when you saw the familiar silver-haired man, seated at the bench beside it.

“Xavier?” You asked, shocked. 

His head whipped towards you, and you could’ve sworn his ears perked up. He mugged the way you called out to him and said your name back to you. “You’re off now?”

You checked the time on your phone and realized he had been waiting for almost two hours. “Why didn’t you go home?” You fast-walked over to him, confused. 

“We took my car here…I didn’t know how you would get home. And then I realized that I didn’t have your number either. I wanted to ask you for it, but I feel like everyone else would’ve asked for mine too…” He scratched the back of his head. 

“You waited?” You felt sheepish and warm. The effort he expressed was heart-fluttering, and the two of you barely knew each other. It wasn’t that small of a feat either, to not only wait that long, but to respect how the two of you were seen at work.

“It’s really dark out. And although you look strong, I think I’d sleep better if I knew you got home safe. You’re the only friend I’ve made here.” He stood up to press the button for the elevator. “We…are friends, right?”

You blinked. “I-I…I guess, yeah.”

“Cool.” Xavier threw his jacket over one shoulder and shoved his other hand in his pocket. His shoulders looked as if they had relaxed, like he had been holding in that question.

“Cool.” You agreed, the corner of your mouth twitching upwards as you looked on the ground. 

“Friends usually exchange numbers…” You looked back up at Xavier who threw out the thought, but he was avoiding eye contact. You thought your eyes were playing tricks on you, but you swore the tips of his ears were pink.

The two of you stepped into the elevator and you pressed on the garage button before holding your hand out. You had meant it as a way to ask for his phone so you could put your contact in, but instead he gave you a low-five.

“Woot.” He said, pleased with himself. And when he met your eyes, the confusion he saw on you made him turn red. “Oh, was that wrong?”

You stifled a laugh. “I wanted your phone so I could give you my number.” 

Xavier looked unsure and patted his back pocket. “I think it’s, um, dead, actually. Can I put mine on your phone instead?”

You dropped your hand and grabbed your own phone instead. You had a hint of suspicion with the way he said it, but you just weren’t sure what he would be hiding. So you let it go to the back of your mind. You opened up the contacts page and he took it from you to add his number. He had saved himself as “xavier 🌟” before handing it back to you.

On the car ride home, he had talked briefly about work, but he didn’t seem to be too interested in it. “We’re playing Legends when we get home, right?”

You nodded, fiddling with your fingers, “What would you do if I was really bad though?”

He shrugged. “I play to have fun, I really wouldn’t care. I’m getting bored of playing alone.” He raked his fingers through his hair, his teeth poking out from a snarky smile. “Don’t tell me you’re a toxic ranked player…” He prodded.

“No! I never want to sweat in a game. It’s actually a turn-off seeing toxicity. But this whole game is toxic…It sucks that it’s fun.” You pouted. It was one of the reasons that you kept your interests a secret. It wasn’t a well-liked game in the community since it was filled with enraged players.

Something about Xavier’s laugh made you feel like you had heard it before. It was comforting with a yearning of wanting to hear it again. You just couldn’t put your finger on the familiarity of it all.

“By the way…a lot of people looked like they wanted to be friends with you today. Are you not that social?” You finally asked, as you were confused about how stoic he was at the office. Before work, he was really talkative with you, and then all of a sudden it was as if he didn’t want all the attention. Although it was something that you really related to. 

He chewed on his lip as he pulled into the garage of your apartment building. “Maybe later on…I’ll make friends. I prefer to focus on work at work, though.”

“I thought we’re friends now?” You cocked your head at him as your hand went to your seatbelt button, ready to get out as he pulled into his spot.

“I meant making other friends. I’m pretty satisfied if this is how the work weeks go.” He beamed at you and it almost looked like the car did get brighter at his smile, but you were sure that you were imagining things. “Do you want me to make other friends?”

“The girls seemed very enthusiastic about being your friend.” You accidentally said out loud. “But I mean, do what you want.”

He looked at you as he turned the car off with a push of a button. And then looked away with a soft chuckle. “You seem pretty work-focused too. I didn’t see you interact much either.”

You rolled your eyes as you climbed out of the car, grabbing your purse from the backseat. “I should at least pay you for gas for taking us to work and back…if this is a regular thing.” You said as you started walking to the elevator.

Xavier’s long legs made it to the buttons before you despite walking first. “It’s electric. And you can pay me back with hot pot every…Friday night.” “If people see us, they’d think we’re dating.” You mindlessly mumbled.

“Are you bothered by that?” The elevator doors opened and he stepped in, pressing the two buttons for both of your floors. “As long as we know what it is, does it matter what other people think?”

“I-I guess not.” You chewed on your lip. “I just don’t want you to be the butt of anything…”

“It’d be an honor to get caught up in drama with you.” He smirked at you. 

The two of you looked at each other, eyes crinkling as you were sure that you finally had a friend. Your heart swelled up just a bit, but you didn’t want to jump on anything yet until you got to know him more. 

But you were attracted to him. One hundred percent.

The doors opened as the two of you still looked at each other. “Call me when you get set up. I’ll play a few games before I sleep.”

“Mm…are you hungry? I can make something for both of us before we play…” You said as you walked out of the elevator, looking over your shoulder to see what he thinks.

“Are you sure I’m not a serial killer yet?” He teased you.

“I’ll have the police on speed-dial in case you do anything.” You motioned him to get out of the elevator to follow you. “It’s the least I can do. And I heard your tummy in the car…don’t think you’re slick.”

“If you say so, m’lady.” He faked a curtsy and got out. 

The two of you walked to your door and you let him in. You felt like you should be a bit more hesitant with letting a man into your house after just a day of knowing him. Although you had seen him around before, it was still fast. There was just such a comforting aura around him, that you were ready to welcome in closer to you. “Are you allergic to anything?”

Dinner went by better than you thought. It was a quick meal, but he was eager to eat. And he had a huge appetite for someone who looked rather slender. The only embarrassing thing was receiving a notification from your Lumiere fan account. 

“Starlight?” He read out loud as he peeked over your shoulder while the two of you ate on the counter. There was surprise in his voice, and you couldn’t pin from what. 

The way he said it, though, sent a shiver down your spine. Only one other person had ever called you by that name out loud, and it just so happened to be someone who sounded just like Xavier. 

Shame would have taken over, but Xavier already knew of your interests. “I made it my name on everything…it kinda fits with Lumiere, don’t you think?” A small smile played on your lips, before you laughed at yourself and shook your head. “This is stupid.”

“What do you like about him?” Xavier asked as he took the bowls from your hands and brought them to your sink to wash them. “I’m not making fun of you, by the way. I just want to learn about you.”

You took a seat on the barstool of the kitchen island, giving you a clear view of him doing the dishes. You played with your hair, slightly exasperated, feeling weird that you’re opening up about your dumb crush. “Uh…I don’t know. I like playing the same games as him. I think he’s funny. I kind of relate to him sometimes…” You were internally beating yourself up because of the way you were talking about this streamer. You straightened up as you just accepted everything. “I learned a lot from watching him play.”

“It’s my turn to see how well you play then.” He turned around as he placed the bowls on the drying rack. There was no hint of judgement on his face. He just seemed happy to be there. “I noticed your keyboard…is it because of him?” He pointed his chin towards your computer set-up.

You put a finger on your chin, as if you were thinking. “I think we both like the same aesthetics…I like stars and purple and stuff…but yeah, I did copy him.” You crinkled your nose.

“I like that aesthetic too.” He grabbed his things by the door. “Thank you for dinner,” he smiled warmly, saying your name softly. “Call me when you’re ready. I’ve grown even more curious to see how you play.” And then he headed out.

The moment the door clicked, you dropped your head onto the breakfast bar counter and cringed. You confided a secret you kept for so long to a man that you just became friends with. And it didn’t help that it was a really attractive man that you just met.

You were just glad that he still wanted to be friends with you, but you were already kissing any hopes of progressing anywhere further with him goodbye. 

“Xavier?” You said as he picked up the phone. 

“Hey, starlight.” He put emphasis on your gamertag, making you cringe even more. And then a soft pang hit your chest. You had drilled Lumiere’s voice into your mind, and over the phone, Xavier sounded even more like him. And then he said your name, shaking you out of your thoughts. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you kind of sound like…Lumiere?” You blurted out.

“Oh…is that why you said my voice was nice last night?” You could hear the smirk through the phone. “Now it doesn’t feel as genuine of a compliment. Ow.” You could tell it was sarcastic, making you break into a soft smile of your own. 

You rolled your eyes, “Oh my gosh…Just tell me your username.”

“It’s ‘lightseeker #1016’. I’ll be awaiting the friend request from starlight, soon.” You heard the clacking of his keyboard through the receiver.

When you added him, he was a really low-level account. You were double his, but he had sworn he was better than Lumiere. And you knew Lumiere was around the 300s. “You talk big for someone who’s only level 67…” You mumbled, getting comfortable in your chair.

“Maybe I’m a fast learner.” The two of you got into the lobby together to select roles. “Do you have a preference?”

“Um, I usually play support. But I’ve been trying to learn how to play solo better, so I’ve been learning mid lane. It’s a bit harder to play support with randoms.” You looked through your bleak match history, seeing many losses.

“If you go mid, I’ll jungle. And if you go support, I’ll go bot with you. I’m pretty flexible.” He cleared his throat, switching through each role. “You ready?”

The two of you ended up playing more than you should have. And you admitted defeat as you saw that he was, indeed, as good as he said he would be. You tried both roles out, and each time he switched into a role that would be more beneficial for you. Xavier had even given you tips in a way that wasn’t pushy, and on top of that, he was a big praiser. Each ‘nice one’ or ‘good dodge’ sent a chill up your spine. It felt good playing with him. And even when you didn’t do too good, he was motivating and calm. 

“Goodnight, starlight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, yawning.

“You cannot call me that at work.” You laughed, shutting your computer down and heading over to your room with your phone. “But, goodnight Xavier. I had fun.”

“Me too.” And then he hung up.

When you got into your bathroom to brush your teeth, it was hard to wipe the smile off your face. It was as if you had found yourself your own version of Lumiere. And even if he wasn’t, you were just glad you had someone to look forward to seeing again. You were excited to go to work for once. 

—

You had grown accustomed to Xavier’s presence as a routine between the two of you grew. He took the both of you to work, where two of you efficiently worked through the endless amount of codes and tickets, and then he’d drive the two of you back home. You’d always make food at home, unless it was a Friday. You kept your promise of getting hotpot with him, but it became a battle of who would pay. Although it was supposed to be you, as a payback for him driving all the time, he would somehow sneak off to the restroom where he’d take the bill with him. 

On weekends, it seemed to be that he slept in. Which gave you time to do the errands you normally did. You would also visit bakeries as a way to destress. 

Lumiere ended up moving his whole schedule to streaming only on the weekends. You would’ve been more upset if Xavier hadn’t come into your life, since you no longer had time to tune-in to his streams. 

It was a comfortable routine. You had established a good relationship with someone who made things more exciting, and you were still able to get your work done and have proper time for yourself. And since Lumiere wasn’t as active, you felt a little less parasocial and silly. But you still really liked watching him. 

Lumiere chuckled. “Someone in chat just asked if I stopped streaming because I met someone at the office…” He said as he cleaned up a game swiftly. “Is it obvious?”

Your eyes widened as he spoke, almost choking on your tea.

starlight: really!??

Another chuckle. “Starlight. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in chat…” You still weren’t used to the way he’d catch onto you. Everytime you thought you were over the pair of hands on the screen, he easily sneaks back in. “I do like someone, but everyone has to keep it a secret. I think I’d have to quit if it doesn’t go well. Maybe even move out. I’m nervous.” His hands flexed over the keyboard.

starlight: gud luck :3

You shut your phone as you got ready to go home from the cafe. You were surprised. You couldn’t recall him being so open about his life, much less answering a question about romance. There was a pang of jealousy deep inside you, and you couldn’t help it. There was also worry about the people who liked him even more than you did, because you knew that this wouldn’t be received too well with the weird side of his fans. 

The next day was another work week filled with more paperwork and coding. Xavier was no longer the talk of the office, but he was becoming another you. Someone who would take a lot of the tickets that others couldn’t handle. It also meant that the two of you ended up leaving at the same time, way after the designated end time. 

As the two of you were in the break room, making coffee, he nudged you with his shoulder. “I heard people saying that I’m your favorite coworker.” He stirred his coffee, looking proud of himself.

You rolled your eyes. “Please…after you hid in bush last night instead of helping me?” You said, recalling the mistake he made during a game. “Why would they even be talking about us, anyways?”

He shrugged. “I dozed off on accident, it was like a minute…and I think it makes sense. I’d be curious about the person who always has their nose buried in the papers, too.” He took a seat at the same table as you. “And if I’m not your favorite coworker, then who is?”

You pretended to think as you sipped on your hot drink. “Maybe Charlie?”

“The catering baker?” Xavier looked truly puzzled. “He doesn’t even work here…”

“Yeah but he comes by every morning to drop off bread and snacks, so technically he is a team member if you really think about it.” You nodded, looking past him to see if there was anything left in the basket. “He sometimes brings by an extra muffin just for me!”

“So if I bring you two muffins, I’d be your favorite coworker?” He leaned closer to you, narrowing his eyes.

You held your breath as you felt him near you. “Maybe…does that matter to you?”

He sat back on his seat. “Yeah, actually. We spend most of the week together, and I’m still not your favorite?” He clutched at his chest. “You don’t care about me at all…” He pouted.

“Cute.” You muttered under your breath accidentally. And when you realized he heard it, you shot back up from your seat. “I forgot I have to call product management about- um, the program…thing.” You rambled before almost running out of the break room.

You had found yourself slipping up more often than usual. It was hard to contain your feelings as you slowly became more and more infatuated with Xavier. Every single daydream you had about Lumiere was turning into reality, only with Xavier. You had someone to play games with, and someone to laugh with to and from work, and someone who was extremely handsome and dependable. He was the full package for you. And just because of that, you had a hard time hiding it. Each time you slipped up, you were greeted with a warm smile from him, as if he knew, but you never stuck around long enough to let him have a proper reaction.  

He returned to his desk shortly after, meeting your eyes every chance that you looked at him. It was playful. And it brought heat to your cheeks every time. Your phone then buzzed with a text from him.

xavier🌟: Everytime I look at U, ur looking at me

You looked up at him with a confused face and then rolled your eyes before burying your face in your arms. Up until your phone buzzed again, 

xavier🌟: are U going to the dinner with everyone on Friday?

You sat back up and thought about it. You normally skipped them, but you had a feeling that he would skip out on the dinner too. And it shouldn’t be both of you that was socially isolated from the rest. So, as a sacrifice for you thought would be the greater good, you slowly nodded.

xavier🌟: on hotpot night? [Galaxy Kid: Pouting]

Another roll of your eyes.

You: we should be a part of society and attend these things. besides, its ur first one with the team. theyre supposed to all celebrate u or smth

xavier🌟: Id rather just spend time with U

You: we spend time together all the time, arent u getting sick of me

xavier🌟: Ur projecting on me arent U?

xavier🌟: I could never get sick of U.

You couldn’t help but giggle at your phone, earning a glare from the team leader. 

—

Although it was probably obvious that the two of you were friends, you mainly kept to yourself at work. It was more out of habit, but you were still afraid of the lingering attention on the very-handsome Xavier Shen. And he did the same. 

The interactions between the two of you were small and felt almost secretive. Like you were hiding an office relationship, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t excite you. Small brushes of your hands as you walked by him, as you handed him papers, or even as you grabbed coffee in the break room. 

“Sorry for running late…” You muttered in the car, groaning as you rubbed your eyes.

“I recall someone saying ‘I’ll wake up on time, just one more game. We can’t end on a loss!’ last night.” He mocked you, laughing. 

You playfully hit him. “If you played better, we would have gone to sleep on time.” You groaned, resting your head on the seatbelt. “I can’t believe I overslept.”

“Mind you, we’re not even late. We’re actually on time.” He tapped on the display of his car to make the time bigger. “What are you so upset about?”

You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. “Everyone usually arrives around this time.”

“And?” He scoffed. “Are you too embarrassed to be seen with me?”

“N-no!” You huffed out the window, exasperated. “I just…don’t want people to talk badly about us.”

“What would they say?” He asked softly, lowering the music in the car. 

“I don’t know…maybe something about me going after the new guy. What if they’re judgemental?” You pouted, letting your insecurities spill. 

“Are you going after the new guy?” You could hear the smirk on his face without even looking.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “If anything, the new guy’s coming after me, but they don’t know that.” You meant to dodge the question but ended up throwing an accusation out.

Xavier nodded. “The new guy is. Is it working?” You hadn’t even realized that the two of you were already in the parking lot of your apartment. “Unless you’re waiting for Lumiere to ask you out.” He asked as he put the car into park, turning over to you with his eyebrows knitted together. His lips were almost in pout. 

You blinked at him, feeling the whiplash of him basically confessing and making fun of you at the same time. Your lips fell open as your mouth went ajar. 

He dropped his head, chuckling with his eyes closed. It was hard to tell what he was laughing at. And then he looked back up at you, tapping your jaw up with the side of his index finger. “Don’t look so shocked.” His finger lingered on your chin, and you were sure his eyes darted at your lips before going back to your eyes.

Your mouth felt dry. You hadn’t been in a relationship in a long time, it felt all new to you again. It was exciting and slightly scary. “How should I look?”

Xavier pretended to think. “Hmm…I’d love to see a smile.” His blue eyes looked at you earnestly. Expectantly.

And you couldn’t help but comply. “Happy?” You blushed, pushing him away. “Let’s go to work already.”

The interaction made you forget about the reason you felt anxious to show up together so close to when everyone was arriving to work. Xavier always opened the door for you and you met with so many people’s eyes as you got out of the car. Your eyes shifted towards the floor, feeling awkward. There were whispers around the two of you as you all entered the building, and you were just hoping that it wasn’t because of you two. 

It most likely was.

Multiple people filled up the elevator, pushing you and Xavier to the back. The morning greetings felt forced as it gave them an excuse to look at you. And him. 

And then you heard a soft whisper. “I’d teleport us out of here…but I think it’s on cooldown, right now.” He joked, making a reference to the game. 

It made you snort. A laugh that you weren’t expecting and couldn’t turn cute. Your hand slapped over to your mouth as some people looked back at you. And you felt Xavier’s shoulders move up and down as he stifled his own laughter. 

The rest of the day was uneventful. You were beginning to think that you were overreacting–minus the morning. Although everyone was perhaps on a crunch to be able to make it on time to the company dinner. 

You, on the other hand, couldn’t concentrate on your work at all. You kept glancing up from the screen to look over at Xavier. And sometimes your eyes would meet, sending your body into immense heat. Your imagination ran wild. You were wondering if it could have been considered even too wild. The multiple office fictions you had read replayed in your mind, romanticizing your boring work life. Yet there it was, unfolding in front of you in real-time. 

You wondered how it would play out when the two of you were alone later. Xavier liked you back. You winced as you pinched the skin on the top of your left hand, making sure that you weren’t dreaming. 

“Do you have the framework we need to use for this?” Xavier asked, jogging you out of your thoughts.

You had to blink yourself back into reality as he leaned down near you, pointing at the notification of his email on the corner of your screen. His other hand steadied himself beside you, using the back of your desk chair and his chest was near your face. “Oh, um…” You bit your lip, almost holding your breath, moving your mouse to open his email to find the issue he was working on. You studied it for a bit, hearing him breathing beside you as he read along. Xavier was so close, you were worried he could hear your heart pounding in your chest. And he did. “Are you nervous because you’re looking for a way to reject me or are you excited?” He muttered just loud enough for you to hear.

Your finger twitched, making your right-click the screen, and he laughed softly. “I’ll email you what I normally use for this sort of ordeal…You can go back to your desk.”

“Answer me, first. Please?” You hesitated, pondering if you wanted to play hard to get or give in instantly. Little did you know that you were too confident in yourself for even thinking that you had control over your words. “I’m not rejecting you.”

A sigh of relief left him. “Good.” And then he stood back up and walked to his desk. As if nothing ever happened. Yet, it was almost as if the room got brighter.

—

The chosen restaurant was just the bar and grill across the street of the company building. It was popular for a lot of surrounding company dinners. Everyone seemed to have been in good spirits so you were a little excited to go with them, now that you were sure that you weren’t going to be alone in the corner. 

“I’ll catch up to you guys! I just have to finish a few more things…” You responded to someone asking if you were attending the dinner. It came as a shock since the past two times, no one really asked anymore after you didn’t go before. 

“Me too.” Xavier said, waving them off. 

Hushed whispers filled the doorway as you felt eyes on the back of your head again. “The reservation in thirty minutes! Don’t be too late, you two!” Another coworker said before heading out.

It was a truthful excuse though. You had spent most of the workday dillydallying with your thoughts, making you slower at your coding. The chatter died down as you heard all your other coworkers reach the end of the hallway or already heading downstairs, and you finally let out a sigh of relief.

“We can just go home now, if you want.” You heard Xavier say, making you peek over your monitor.

“You should really interact with your coworkers. There’s only room for one loner in this office.” You pretended to boast before sighing, resuming your typing. “Besides, I kind of want a free dinner tonight.”

“I pay for dinner many times.” He knitted his eyebrows towards you. 

You rolled your eyes. “Only because you never let me, but I mean like free free. Where you’re not paying either. Now finish your work so we can go.”

“I am done, I’m just waiting for you.” You saw him put his head down on his desk, as if he was preparing to take a nap.

You huffed. “Show off.”

He spoke a bit muffled, but you were still able to hear him clearly. “I’d rather go home so we can talk.”

“We’re talking right now.” The numbers and letters on your screen were spinning all over the page, you couldn’t focus at all.

“Do you like me?” He asked, his head still on his desk.

The room went quiet again. You realized how loud your typing was the moment that you stopped. 

Xavier lifted his head again, looking at you from the side of his monitor this time, resting his cheek on his hand. A small pout played on his lips. “I like you.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line. Your eyes glanced over at his, but you were unable to hold his stare. “Yeah.”

“Can we ditch the company dinner and go on a date instead?” Xavier was bold. You realized that you never pegged him to be as confident as he was, and then his true colors would peek through his impatience. 

“No.” You were stearn, frowning. It was merely an attempt to hide how giddy you felt. “We can go out next time.” You continued to type, but there was no point. Your hands were shaking and none of your commands were being spelled correctly and you were missing every semicolon possible in your code. You were just performing at this rate. 

“After?”

“What are you in such a rush for?” You asked, feigning annoyance.

“Is Charlie the caterer going to be at the dinner?” He asked, a deeper pout showing on his lips. 

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Is this because of what I said a few days ago?”

“Answer the question.”

“He owns that restaurant.” You lied. 

You swore that you almost saw steam leave the top of his head and his ears as he believed you. And you worked so hard to keep the laughter contained. “I already said I like you.”

“I saw the way he talks to you in the morning. He likes you too.” You couldn’t see his hands, but you were sure that they were clenched into balls. “But please remember that I like you in a way that no one else can.” 

You were a mess. Your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest. “Xavier…” You gasped.

He crossed his arms over his chest and sat back on his chair, his head leaned back with his eyes closed. “If you keep looking at me like that and saying my name like that…I can’t promise that I’ll last until the end of the night.”

Next thing you knew, you were stood up. With shaky hands and knees, you walked over to his chair and put your hand on his chest to grab his tie. 

No words were being exchanged as he opened his eyes to look at you–into you. As if he knew and he was waiting. You bit your lip, your fingers feeling the muscles of his chest through his dress shirt. A small smirk played on his lips as he stood up, suddenly towering over you, waiting for your next move. Quietly.

Your hand moved down his tie, grabbing the end of it before storming out of the office, dragging him with you. Down the hallway with the automatic lights as they turned on with every clop of your high heels on the marble flooring. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, trying to figure out yourself on what you were planning to do. And then you pushed into the room of the stairway of the building, dragging him into the dim room with you. 

“You’re so impatient,” you muttered as you pressed his back to the wall by the floor number right by the door.

“I like seeing your reactions…” He brought his face closer to you, as if he was waiting and wanting.

But you pulled back just enough to make him question everything. You saw the flashes of concern and confusion as you backed away from him. “I like seeing yours too, I guess.” You wondered if he could see your eyes, moving back and forth to every feature on his face to see how he felt. 

Time moved slowly at first as you tiptoed to kiss him, pulling him down by his tie to meet somewhat halfway. You scrunched your eyes closed as you pressed your face against his. You couldn’t really tell if you were holding your breath, or if you just completely forgot how to breathe. It felt like an eternity before he started acting human again, instead of a statue.

But when he did, it was like someone pressed play and each movement suddenly felt rushed or even on fast-forward. He pulled your body closer to him by your waist, making you stumble forward and put most of your weight on him. You let go of his tie to place both your hands on either side of his chest, letting him hold you. It was almost as if the two of you could fuse together with how hot it felt. 

His hands moved from your waist to your back, fully wrapping his arms around you. And you could feel the way his biceps flexed as he held you. His fingers that were moving up your spine made you shiver. And then one hand stayed on the middle of your back as he brought one up to your face, holding your jaw as you two kissed.

You were sure that you forgot how to kiss someone, but it felt almost automatic with Xavier. His lips felt soft and tasted minty from all the pillow mints he would take from the office break room. It made you giggle softly as you could almost tell how much he ate. 

He pulled back to read your face, his thumb tapping the side of your lips with his head cocked. “Are you having fun?”

You nodded. “No wonder I’ve been having to refill the bowl of mints more often since you started working here. You eat them all.” You jabbed at his chest with your finger.

Xavier chuckled and then rested his head on your shoulder, you felt his nose nuzzle at your neck as he hugged you with both his arms again. He sighed, his breath tickling you and making you giggle again. “Now I really don’t want to go…”

“They’re waiting for us…” You moved your hands up to loop around his neck, hugging him back. You did your best to ignore the growing excitement in between your legs and between his.

“Let them.” He groaned, standing back up to look at you. “You’d rather keep me waiting than our coworkers?” Xavier practically glared at you as he pressed his forehead against yours. “I thought we were closer to each other than them.” It sounded as if he whined, his voice breaking ever so lightly. 

“It’s rude to let people wait. This is supposed to be your very late welcoming dinner…” You gulped. You wanted to kiss him again. You wanted to kiss him even deeper, taste him even more. Mark every inch of his pale neck and leave stains of your lip balm on his cheek. Your hands balled up into fists on his chest as you fought the urge. 

“You can welcome me instead…let me take you out on a date, right now. Like a gentleman…please.” He was practically pleading, inhaling each breath of yours like it was his. “I won’t do anything further until you let me take you out. No matter how much you…” He closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. “No matter how much you look at me like that.”

Half-lidded and dazed, was the way you were looking at him. “Okay…” You wanted to be the person of sound mind and participate in work networking activities, but it was getting harder to ignore every feeling that you had for him. 

He smirked with the sheer confidence of knowing that he won. His hands slid upward, softly and slowly to cup your face. His right thumb tracing your bottom lip. “Where’d all that care for our coworkers go? I expected you to stand your ground.”

“I’m saying ‘yes’ now. Are you going to keep teasing me because I’ll walk over to the restaurant right now and postpone this date until next week.” You pushed him back into the wall and went to grab the door back into the main hallway.

But he caught your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours instead, halting your actions.  He held your waist with his other hand and the pose felt like the two of you were about to do a ballroom number. “No. Let’s grab your stuff and we’ll go right now.” He pouted at you again, bringing the hand he was holding to his lips and muttering against it. “I’ll be good.”

You instantly pulled him in and gave him a peck on the lips, overwhelmed with such affection for him. “What are you waiting for then?”

The two of you rushed back into the office. Your leftover work completely left your mind as your head was filled with blood, sweat, and too many indecent thoughts. Xavier had taken off his jacket and loosened his collar, making you want to jump his bones even more. But the thought that he merely took his jacket off to hide what was growing in his pants made you want to laugh.

The plan was to go to dinner and then go home. Mainly to see what happened next. 

Yet the moment the two of you reached his car, the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. He opened your door after placing your purse in the backseat and instead of sitting down, you looked up at him. There was nothing in your head anymore. And you were sure with the way he looked at you like he was drunk with need, that there was not much control in his head either. 

He crashed his lips onto yours, practically forcing you to sit down in the car with the sheer intensity. You gasped as you felt his hand on your hip, his thumb pressing down on your thigh as he was trying so desperately to hold onto you, as if he was afraid of you slipping away. Xavier’s tongue traced your teeth, like he was afraid of pushing his luck. Your eyes instantly shut as you attempted to kiss back with as much fervor. Your chest swelled with happiness as you were finally able to act on your feelings and it made you feel like you were floating. Yet your mind couldn’t stay quiet. 

You pulled back just enough to be able to talk but your lips still chased after yours like oxygen. “Are we going too fast?” You asked, concerned.

“I waited months.” He planted a kiss on the corner of your mouth. “I’ll wait more if you want to…” Another kiss on your cheek. “I don’t think you want to, though.” A kiss to your jaw. “Tell me to stop, and I’ll stop.” His teeth nibbled on your ear, you could feel the tip of his tongue so close to your neck, making you shiver. “We’re just…kissing. Nothing more…not yet.”

Not yet.

“What if someone sees us? A security guard or something…” Your knee brushed past the bulge growing in his pants and it made him groan right next to your ear as he clenched his fingers around your arm. The sound made you more excited than you ever thought, and all you could think about was wanting to hear more of it. You moved your knee against it again. And again, enjoying the sounds of him biting back right by your ear until he held your knee still. 

“I’m about to make you walk to the restaurant if you keep behaving like this.” Heavy breathing was all you could focus on. The idea that you had this much effect on him made you feel assured. You pulled back to give yourself a better view of him. 

Your neighbor, coworker, and friend was in front of you breathing heavy, red ears, glazed eyes, and with an evident erection. His once bright blue eyes suddenly looked darker than navy. All because of you. “How are we going to dinner if you look like this?” You raised your hand to cup his face and he nuzzled into it instantly, inhaling the scent of your palm. 

“Keep your hands to yourself, and I’ll be fine.”

You had never seen Xavier drive as fast as he did that night. His fingers gripped the wheel tight, turning his already pale knuckles even whiter. You couldn’t help but look over to see the way his forearms flexed underneath the rolled up dress-shirt sleeves. 

Your palms were sweating as you did your best to keep your hands in your lap. Your thighs were pressed together, feeling friction where you needed it at every speed bump. 

You couldn’t even focus on the menu at dinner. It was a beautiful place and he instantly knew to go there. Either he had been there before or he had been planning it for as long as he said. And judging from antisocial he was, he didn’t seem to be a serial dater. 

“Do I get a margarita…?” You joked, trying to ignore every instinct in your body to jump him. 

“No. If you’re even the slightest bit tipsy, I won’t be able to trust a single word you say after…” Xavier’s eyes were knitted together, looking like he was calculating what he was going to do. “I want to know that you’re kissing me because you like me and not because of the tequila.” He sternly said. 

You nearly melted in your seat. A bare minimum, but it was so refreshing nonetheless. “If we just order appetizers, will it still count as a date?”

“Mm…yeah. As long as you tell me why you like me and why we should be together.” He put the menu down in front of him and rested his cheek on his propped up hand, looking at you with sparkling curiosity. 

You nearly choked on your water. “Aren’t you the one asking me out? Shouldn’t I ask you why I should say yes?”

He sat back up and straightened his tie. “Okay.” He tapped on the table mindlessly as he got his words together. “I’ve been interested in you for a while. Pre-coworkers.” A small smile played on his lips. “You left early and got home late. Professional and pretty. But then on the weekends, sometimes I see you in the elevator in Craftmine pajamas and bunny slippers.”

You pouted. “Stalker.”

Xavier rolled his eyes. “And then we’re working together. You’re headstrong and confident. Work hard. Friendly but you’re kind of like me.”

“Xavier, you are not that friendly towards our coworkers.”

“Do you want me to tell you why I like you or not?” He glared at you.  “Hush. Now…we have the same interests. We became accustomed to each other. And I like what we have. But I want more.” He let out a sigh. “I thought I would be okay with doing whatever we’d been doing the past few weeks.” His hand spread open, tensed, before balling up into a fist. “But then I saw that stupid baker laugh at one of your jokes.”

“I can’t be funny now?” You teased him, enjoying the jealousy behind his eyes. 

“You can. Just with me though, please.” He reached for your hand and fiddled with your fingers, rubbing his thumb on your knuckles. “I’m new to this feeling of being jealous. And I realized it'd be really hard for us to be just friends.”

You nodded slowly. “Okay…same.”

He smirked at you. “I give you my whole story and all I get is a ditto?”

You shrugged. “You’re good at Legends?”

He hummed, removing his hand from yours. “Who do you like more? Me or Lumiere?”

You pretend to think long and hard. Each second that went by made his ears turn pinker at the tips. You tried to keep a straight face as you said, “I’ve watched Lumiere longer, but I guess…it’s you now.”

“That’s not very reassuring.” He leaned back on his chair, his eyes glaring at you as he crossed his arms over his chest. “So you like to watch me suffer, I see.”

“Hey, if anything, since I spend more time with you now, I don’t watch his streams as often.” You sighed, taking another sip of water. “He doesn’t stream that much anymore either, though.” You thought for a moment and laughed to yourself, shaking your head as you set your glass down.

“What’s so funny?” He asked, putting his elbows to the table again, as if he was attempting to close the distance between you two. 

You shrugged, dragging the tip of your index finger around the rim of the glass. “You two are so alike…I’ve never seen the two of you in the same room.” You joked. “Xavier,” you locked eyes with him. “You’re not Lumiere, right?”

Xavier looked stunned, and you couldn’t tell if it was because you asked what you deemed as a ‘dumb’ question or because you just compared him to someone he didn’t seem to like very much. He opened his mouth to answer, but then the waiter came to ask for your orders.

You thought that the dinner would have been hard to get through, but you forgot how easy it was to be with Xavier. There were moments where you would remember what was happening in your pants, but for the most part, you were able to enjoy your time without squirming in your seat too much. 

He ordered a small dessert, sharing the ice cream with tiny spoons as you two giggled at small talk. “I want us to be together.” Xavier said, clinking his spoon onto yours as if the two of you were sword fighting. “I really want to call you mine.”

You hummed, tapping your spoon onto his again. “We only know so much about each other…What if you get to know me and then realize I-”

“Isn’t it enough that I want to know everything about you? Each little thing I learn about you is meaningful to me. And I want more.” He set the spoon down. “I want to be the only one who knows this much about you, see every side of you.” 

You took a deep breath, setting your spoon down next to his. “Will I learn about you?”

“Haven’t you been?” He cocked his head, the same smug smirk grew on his face. 

You shrugged. “I feel like I talk a lot more than you do. I want to know what you used to do and what you aspire to do. Things like that.”

“I aspire to be yours. Can we start there?” He motioned for the check as he held his gaze onto you. “We’ll have all the time to learn about each other, I just can’t stand the idea of not being able to call you mine as we do.” He held your hand again. “Please?”

You wanted to scream ‘yes’ over and over again, as if he had just proposed to you. But something in you wanted to play hard to get. It felt so easy for you to tease Xavier, and seeing his very slight annoyance was amusing to you. “So…we’re dating?”

“If you accept me.”

“I guess…we’re dating then.” You attempted to contain your excitement with another swig of water. You felt like you were getting your first boyfriend in high school. It was giddy and unreal. You thought back to how you entered relationships back in college, but it all felt so casual compared to his loaded confession. This felt real and raw to you. And you wanted more. You were excited for every ‘first’ with him. All of a sudden, your past relationships didn’t count anymore.

 “That doesn’t sound serious enough actually.” He pouted, sulking into his seat. “And you don’t sound that excited.”

You felt like jumping him like one of those jumpscares from another video game you enjoyed. Your mind was melting, screaming the word ‘cute’ over and over again. “Let me prove it to you then.” You said as you stood up and began to walk out of the restaurant. You saw how he fumbled with his wallet, taking out a wad of cash to leave on the table instead of waiting to pay with his card. 

He caught up with you, interlocking your fingers together and dragging you faster with him. He opened the car door for you and continued to hold your hand for stability as you got in. It felt like that one scene from a movie where the guy held her hand as she got onto a carriage. 

The car was freezing, but you were fully sweating. Your legs were shivering and you couldn’t tell if it was the rest of your body feeling cold, or if it was from excitement. You saw Xavier take swift steps around the car to get to the other side, fully ignoring oncoming traffic. 

The two of you sat there for a few seconds. It felt awkward. You wanted him to take you right then and there, but you didn’t want to seem too eager. You were embarrassed that you were acting like a bunny in heat. It was all too new again and you didn’t want to ruin things. You usually never did anything on the first date either, but it felt different with Xavier. Especially since you had spent a lot of time with him already, it was as if every outing before was a date too. You looked at him, waiting for something. Anything. 

“I’m trying really hard to build myself to take the both of us home, right now.” He closed his eyes and drooped his head, taking a deep breath. 

“Why haven’t you started the car yet, then?” You rested your elbow on the center console of the car, putting your chin onto your palm as you continued to stare at him. “Are you waiting for something?”

“Are you?” He finally opened his eyes and glared at you, inching his face towards you. You could smell the slight coffee scent from dessert in his breath. His eyes glanced up and down your face, obviously looking at your lips that were in a pout as you grew impatient. “Your eyes…I’m quite patient, but when it comes to you…” His hand moved up to your face, his thumb barely grazing at your bottom lip that was jutted out. 

“I actually feel like the most impatient one here,” you took a shaky breath in. “Xavier…”

His breath hitched and he leaned closer as if he was about to kiss you, his bottom lip almost touching yours. But his thumb separated the two of you. And then he let out a chuckle as he noticed your eyes were fully shut. 

Xavier moved his face to the side of yours, reaching over to grab your seatbelt. His breath tickled your neck before he pulled back. His other hand pushed you by your shoulder, gently, to make you sit properly onto the chair. “You are.” A click of the seatbelt fully throttled you out of your thoughts. “Impatient.” He clicked his tongue and sat back into his seat, putting his own seatbelt on before pushing the button to start the car. 

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you got comfortable. You knew that he was teasing you, and you wondered how long he was able to keep his composure. 

Xavier hummed along to the random song playing on the radio, tapping on the steering wheel. He was clearly amused with seeing you squirm in your own seat. 

“You’re enjoying this,” you glared at him from the side, crossing your leg. Your foot tapped against the car, evident with your displeasure.

Another chuckle. “I told you…I want to see your reactions.” He reached over and poked you on your cheek. “All of them.”

You couldn’t fight down the smile that was playing on your lips as he said those words. It was flirtatious and teasing all at once, and you were so close to taking the steering wheel yourself to swerve the car into an abandoned parking lot. 

Instead, you reached your left hand over and rested it on his thigh. You didn’t miss his tiny jump with the way he reacted. Nor did you miss the way his fingers twitched on the wheel. “How much longer until we get home?”

“Not soon enough…” Xavier answered through gritted teeth, his knees parted even more, making your fingers move closer to the inside of his thigh. You dragged it slowly more upward, teasing him with your fingertips. “B-behave…” His voice, which was normally soft, became strong and stern.

“I’m not doing anything…Am I bothering you?” You squeezed his thigh making him twitch again. You took your pinky and moved it closer to the growing bulge in his pants. “Maybe I’m not the only one that’s impatient, huh?”

Thankfully for the two of you, there were barely any cars on the road. And he was speeding up immensely. “I’ll be the judge of that.” His right hand moved from the wheel to your own thigh.

Your thighs squeezed onto his fingers out of surprise.

“Do you want me to stop?” He huffed out. 

You couldn’t answer, you were afraid that your voice would break. Instead, you relaxed your legs and yourself onto the seat. And you moved your hand up on him, inviting him to mirror you. Your ring and pinky finger were rubbing him over his pants and you knew exactly what you were touching. 

He wasted no time to cup your heat, two of his fingers finding your clit through your pants instantly as he pressed down. You bit down on your bottom lip to suppress any sound fighting to come out of you as you felt him. “Fuck…how long does it take to get home…” He moved his two fingers up and down, slowly. Too slowly for you. “You’re trembling.” He continued. “I’ve been thinking about how sensitive you are.” 

A small moan came out of you and the hand that was on his lap slapped over your mouth as the other cupped over his own hand. 

“Your expressions are telling me I’m doing a very good job…” You could hear the smirk in his voice as his thumb rubbed your thigh whilst the two other fingers pressed down on you. “At least let me hear that I’m doing good too, yeah?” His voice was deep and breathy, almost desperate and breaking. 

You were just glad to see familiar buildings, knowing you were close to home. Your hand came down, gripping your seatbelt as you let soft moans come out of you. You knew words no longer existed, and yet you complied with his request.

“You sound so good, my star…” His fingers were rubbing small circles on you now, and you wondered how much you were leaking through the fabrics of your bottoms. You could feel the intense warmth in between your legs. 

You were so focused on cumming that you didn’t realize that he had messily parked the car already. Both of your hands gripped at his wrist as he moved faster and harder against your core. Whimpers spilled out of your mouth until he nudged your face up with his nose to reach your lips. Engulfing you with a kiss as you slowly unfolded. 

The position must have been awkward for him, but his slender fingers persisted whilst his other hand pushed your head closer to him. You gasped against him as your legs shook with intensity and you came just from getting rubbed over your pants. 

“Did you like that?” He asked, breathing in your own breath. 

All you could do was nod as you processed what had just happened. No one had ever made you feel that intense that you could cum just like that before. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He smirked before pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

Xavier pulled back to take his seatbelt off and his hand moved to the engine button again, probably to fix his parking, but you instantly tugged on his shirt to pull him back towards you. “Sh-shouldn’t I return the favor…?” You asked, glancing at his crotch before realizing it was too dark in the garage to see anything.

He chuckled and pulled you into another kiss. “Later…I promise.”

The elevator trip upstairs was sweet, unlike what happened in his car. There was slight disappointment in your chest, wondering what’s keeping him from taking you in that elevator. You wondered if the sound you made while you came was a turn-off or if his hand was hurting too much from the angle he was in. The little things that made you overthink were swarming your brain.

Then he hugged you from the back and pressed a kiss onto your neck. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

You held onto his arms that were around you. “Hmm…Just thought you wanted to…y’know.” You admitted.

He chuckled, his hair tickling your neck as his head moved as he reacted. “Are you disappointed? I just wanted to talk to you first…” He pressed himself closer to you and you could feel his sincerity. “Can’t you feel that I’m holding back?”

You rolled your eyes, “What’s so important that we have to-” You stopped talking as the elevator doors opened to your floor and you saw boxes outside of the unit beside you. “Woah, someone’s finally moving in.” You pulled away from Xavier and walked into the hallway of your floor to see if you could introduce yourself. 

You could hear Xavier grumble behind you, along with his footsteps following you. Although you were excited to be alone in your home with Xavier, wondering what could happen next as the two of you were actually a couple. But the unit beside you had been vacant since the day you had moved in, so you were just hoping that it was a nice person.

And then you saw a very familiar face. 

“Charlie?” You exclaimed as you ran up to the doorway, making your way through the boxes. “Woah! You’re my new neighbor!”

“Hey!” Charlie said, putting down the stand-mixer that he was holding. “What a coincidence!” He reached his arm out, motioning for a side-hug.

You were about to reciprocate until Xavier took his hand and shook it. An awkward scene, but you were too busy being surprised by how suspiciously polite Xavier looked. “Hi, I’m your neighbor too. I live upstairs.”

“O-Oh! Hello!” Charlie smiled at him warmly, but the warmth was not reciprocated by Xavier at all. “You’re the newest hire, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. And you’re the baker.” His hold on Charlie was firm, as if he was trying to show him up.

Charlie wiggled himself free from his grip and then motioned to the boxes. “I should finish unpacking.”

“Of course! We’ll leave you to it then…” You grabbed Xavier’s wrist and pulled him toward your apartment. You knew Xavier had something against him, which you actually found quite endearing, but you didn’t expect him to let it show. Despite how polite he tried to be, it was more condescending and obviously fake. Once the door to your place closed, you threw your stuff on the couch and went to the kitchen to make tea. “I can’t believe your best friend is living next to me,” you jested, almost snorting.

“Now that he’s your neighbor, are you going to invite him over for dinner too?” He stood by one of the counters of the kitchen, leaning his head against one of the cabinets. You couldn’t see his face too clearly, but that pout of his was prominent from his tone. 

It wasn’t that you liked hearing him be sad or upset, but something about it made you want to tease him even more. 

“Shouldn’t I?” You weren’t going to, but the idea of Xavier possibly breaking the door down was amusing to you. “Calm down, Xavi…I thought I heard the kettle whistling, but it was just the steam coming out of your ears.” You walked toward him and placed your hand on his cheek, your thumb caressing him softly to loosen his frown. “Now what did you want to tell me that you’re keeping me waiting for?” You wrapped your arm around his neck to hook onto him and he wrapped his arms around your waist to hold you close to him.

His expression changed completely. The usually confident Xavier Shen looked like he was about to start trembling like a little chihuahua. 

You raised an eyebrow at him and tilted your head, seeing if you could look into his blue eyes and look through his thoughts, but he started avoiding your gaze. “Earth to Xavier?”

“I’m Lumiere.” He said, his voice breaking a little.

You let out a nervous chuckle. “Come on, what actually do you have to tell me?” His arms loosened around your waist and one hand came up to rub the back of his neck, something he did when he felt awkward. “Are you secretly an alien? Like Clark Wayne or Bruce Kent or whatever?”

He took a deep breath and then looked you in the eyes. “I was going to tell you before I asked you out, but I never knew the time and whenever I’m with you I just…I really like you and I knew I needed to tell you before we went any further.” 

You started staring aimlessly at his chest and then the ground trying to process what he was saying, but then he bent down to your gaze and tried meeting your eyes with his. 

“Don’t be mad, please?” His voice cracked near the end, and you could tell it was taking everything out of him to tell you.

You didn’t know what you felt. It felt irrational to be mad because you didn’t even know what to be mad about. You were in some sort of state of shock. Your real-life crush was your online crush. On paper, you thought that sounded cute, but when it was happening to you in real time, you were just embarrassed. You talked about why you liked Lumiere to Lumiere himself. You even felt stupid for liking him because he was some faceless streamer that played a toxic game. 

“Say something…” He quietly pleaded. Your name was whispered out of his mouth, like he was afraid of breaking it if he said it too loud.

And then the kettle did start whistling. 

You dropped your hands from his neck and turned around to remove it from the stove. Without looking at him, you finally talked. “You should go home tonight. I have to think.”

“Ask me anything, please. I-” Xavier said, you could hear him getting closer to you.

“Please…just give me a moment, Xavier.” 

“I’ll be one call away…okay?” He said. You could feel him so close to you, like his hand was trying to reach out for yours, but he thought otherwise and then walked out. 

You left the boiled water on the counter, not really checking if you turned the stove off. And then you face planted right on the couch. You looked for something to be mad at and all the answers just pointed at being mad at yourself for not realizing sooner. You had suspicions, but for your long-time infatuation being your neighbor that turned into your coworker and friend was too good to be true. You just thought you were being too hopeful. Now you two were more than friends so you were sure you should have been happy.

And yet, you couldn’t pinpoint why you weren’t. 

The whole weekend passed by and you didn’t leave the house, nor did you talk to him. Which made you feel even worse. Since you couldn’t find any reason to be upset at him, just at yourself, and you still ignored every message and knocked on your door that you knew was him.

You even woke up extra early the following Monday to take the train and avoid him. It was the first time you had taken the train in months, and on top of that, it was a quiet ride. You couldn’t even bring yourself to listen to music, your thoughts were loud enough.

And it was as if he knew because he showed up to work, looking less prim and proper as he took his seat in front of your desk, searching for any sign of you in you. Yet you averted your gaze.

It was suffocating being at your desk as your thoughts ran grew louder. It was as if everyone else could feel the tense air too as they worked quieter than usual.

The man you had pined over on the internet for months, almost a year, and the man you had been pining over in real-life turned out to be the same person. And you could feel his eyes glance over at you every other moment. 

You still couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad at him, even though you really wanted to. You just felt humiliated. 

Although you were trying to figure out when he would have told you, or if he would have ever told you. You knew you weren’t really obligated to know as of yet. You two had just started developing something more than friends. 

You couldn’t focus on the codes on the screen as you were thinking back to everything you had said to the streamer that just so happened to be someone who was really close to being your boyfriend. You’ve had drunken nights where you complimented him a lot on your social media accounts, making thirsty statements about his hands. Yearning for the faceless man. You wanted to scream into your hands as you remembered that Xavier knew your username. He knew it was you. And now you knew it was him.

The moment it hit the time for your lunch break, you darted out of the office, heading up multiple flights of stairs until you reached the roof of the building. Your head spun like you were losing oxygen until you pushed the heavy door and felt the fresh air hit your face. Deep breaths. 

Lumiere was Xavier. And Xavier was Lumiere. Somewhere deep down, you already knew. Even after trying to deny it. And now that it was fully confirmed, you wanted to scream. You wanted to cringe yourself into a black hole as flashes of interactions with lumiere kept going through your mind. You were on the “Lumiere X Reader” tags on fanfiction sites too. 

It was hard to distinguish what you felt. Guilt, embarrassment, confusion…The mix was overwhelming. 

A long and deep breath kept you from spiraling. 

All you knew was that you still liked him. A lot. 

Another deep breath.

Even if it was embarrassing for you, he still confessed to you even with the knowledge that you were one of Lumiere’s biggest fans. It was also better off that he told you from his own chest rather than finding out later on. The only thing that was keeping you away from him was your own cowardice. 

Lumiere or not, you really liked Xavier. 

With the newfound realization, you walked back towards your office with a new mindset. Along with plans in your head to talk to Xavier again. You craved your old routine back. You had grown too accustomed to being with him that it was tearing you apart that you weren’t doing the things you normally did. 

You were coming up with things to say to him and finding segues to talking to him again. Different sorts of apologies and ways to apologize came to your mind. You wondered if you should follow him into the break room and say, ‘I’m okay that I completely embarrassed myself in front of you,’ and then kiss and make-up. It was multiple unrealistic scenarios straight out of a montage of a teen movie film.

Yet they were all interrupted as someone grabbed your wrist as you passed by the supply closet and pulled you into the dark room. Before you screamed, you heard a familiar ‘shhh’ and then the lights turned on.

Xavier was in front of you, bags visible under his eyes and clear signs of worry as he looked down at you. “I’m sorry I just…” He let go of your arm and stepped back, raking his fingers through his silver hair, taking a deep breath. 

He looked like a mess, but it almost made you mad as to how good he looked despite it. The buttons of his shirt were misaligned and improperly tucked, mismatched socks, and one missing cuff link. 

“You wouldn’t even look at me…and I didn’t know…” He started rambling. 

You didn’t know how else to stop him, mainly because you were still in shock. And instead of being a rational person, stop him by saying ‘Hey! It’s fine!’ Instead you stepped on your tippy toes, grabbed his wrinkled collar and brought him down for a kiss. 

Both of you seemed to have been in shock as you pulled away. “S-sorry. I just- Um, I wasn’t mad at you. I just felt kind of dumb for not connecting the two dots so-”

It was your turn to be stopped with a kiss.

Xavier pushed you back onto the shelf, one hand behind your head and the other above you, possibly to keep the shelf from falling down. He kissed you like you were the oxygen mask in a post-apocalyptic movie in space. Your eyes were still open and you could barely see that his eyes were squeezed shut until yours fluttered closed soon after. 

He moaned softly as you kissed him back, like he was surprised by the affection you were showing after two days of ignoring him. “I thought…I screwed up…” He said, in between kisses as he gasped. And then he pulled away, putting his forehead on your shoulder, breathing heavily. “You’re not mad at me?”

You hummed, your hand on his shoulder. “I kind of am…You asked me so many embarrassing questions…turns out you just wanted to hear me praise you.” Your eyebrows knitted together, bothered by his audacity.

“I actually hate that you like Lumiere so much.” He grumbled against you. You could feel his teeth graze your exposed skin from your sleeveless top, as if he was going to bite you. 

You scoffed. “You and Lumiere are the same person, didn’t you just say that?” 

He pulled back to glare at you. “While Lumiere is funny and smart…I’m apparently corny and cocky.” He got closer to your face with each word. “He made the same joke I made a few days before and you’d roll your eyes at me. But I’m sure when Lumiere said it, you were laughing up a storm.” 

You were still beating yourself up for everything, but the way he read you like a book made you want to disappear. You covered your face with your hands and cowered. “How long are you going to make fun of me? I’ll actually run away…” You mumbled into your fingers. 

His small laugh made you warm up again, and then you felt his hands wrap around your wrists, prying them away from your face. One of his thumbs hooked under your chin to tilt your head up to look at him. “Do you still like me?”

You slowly nodded.

“Okay, good.” He kissed the tip of your nose, light and sweet. His lips moved down to yours and your mouth was agape, waiting for something. But instead, he pecked your bottom lip softly and chuckled. “Let’s go back to work. I’ll take care of you later. We have time we need to make up.” He reached up above you again and grabbed a box of paperclips. 

And then you were alone in the supply room. 

The rest of the day was a blur. You were working on autopilot as you sped through every ticket in order to make sure that you were able to leave as soon as possible. The only time that it felt slow was when Xavier would look past his monitor to see you. 

His expressions were normally hard to read, but it felt like everything was actually out in the open. And you could see from his almost-glowing blue eyes that he was rushing to the end of the work day as well. 

As your humiliation was slowly dying down, your fascinations were coming back. You were so embarrassed that you couldn’t focus on the fact that you had actually liked one person for a long time. Your fingers worked away on the keyboard as you started to look on the brighter side of things.

You weren’t completely delusional after all. 

The owner of the attractive hands was attractive himself. He was everything you thought you were and much more. Although, each time you thought of something positive about the situation, an embarrassing moment where you freaked out over something Lumiere-related to Xavier would pop up in your mind. And it made you want to slam your head onto your monitor. 

Bright side. Bright side. Bright side. You thought to yourself. 

The mantra became too much for your brain as you started to mutter it out loud while you were in the elevator with Xavier to get to his car. “Bright side of what?”

You looked at him wide eyed. “Huh?” You realized that Xavier looked brighter than that morning. He fixed his shirt and somehow unwrinkled everything, back to his prim and proper self. “I- uh…I am looking on the bright side of things.”

“So…you are still mad at me.” His eyebrows came together as he pouted. 

You tapped your chin to think, letting him open the door for you. “No?”

Xavier cocked his head to the side before shutting your door and only replied when he got in the driver’s seat. “You didn’t sound very sure.”

“I’m just embarrassed! I don’t know how to explain that any further.” You groaned. “But if I get rid of…how many times you made me talk about Lumiere…I can focus on the bright side.”

He started the car and was quickly driving back to your place. “What are the bright sides then?”

“I’m dating my celebrity crush.” You beamed at him. “And I wasn’t that crazy thinking about him the way I did, because you really are my type!”

“Am I more your typ-” Xavier started but you instantly swatted his arm.

“Don’t ruin this.”

The two of you bickered about the logistics of him being jealous of you liking Lumiere despite the fact that Lumier equaled Xavier the entire car ride home. And the entire elevator up.

Except on the way up, instead of pressing your floor, he pressed his. “Now that you know…you can come over now, right?” He suddenly looked shy. 

“You always said your place was too busy, I really was starting to think that the ‘other family’ theory was becoming plausible.” You huffed, a little exhausted from trying to understand his jealousy. Although you found it amusing as well. Dork.

“My stream set-up is in the living room.” He shrugged, walking to open his door as soon as the elevator let the two of you off. “I think it would’ve been too obvious.”

“Can I ask why you kept it a secret?” You played with the hem of your shirt while you waited for him to get his keys out to open his door. “Not to everyone, I get that. I mean…when you found out I liked Lumiere…you didn’t say anything.”

He paused before opening his door and then turned to you. “How would you have reacted?” Xavier opened his door and let you in. 

You thought about your answer, but you were distracted by his layout. It was clean and organized. His furniture was modern, and yet it was still homey. “U-uh…I guess I wouldn’t have believed you. Well…”

“I was surprised to know that you’re starlight.” Xavier said, taking your bag from your hand to hang on his rack by the door. As he did so, his touch was soft and lingered long enough to know that it was on purpose. 

“Please…that’s so…” You cringed, walking around the living room. It was the exact same layout as your place, but the way he decorated made it seem like a completely different place. You distracted yourself by taking in the scenery as the realization of being alone with him properly with a new relationship was settling in your bones. Warmth was flowing through you in more ways than one. “You knew me by name?”

“There’s only one starlight.” He said, following close behind you, And then he bent down, his mouth near your ear. “You’re still cringing at yourself, but would it make you feel better if the feelings were mutual this whole time?” His breath tickled you and sent signals directly to your lower area. 

You awkwardly laughed, turning towards him. “Wha-”

“I, the faceless streamer, got excited seeing a certain viewer’s name in my chat.” He smirked down at you, walking forward as you walked back until the back of your knees hit his couch. “You had the same name on Tweeter and I went through your account too. Little glimpses of your life, very miniscule, and I was interested.” You fell back onto the couch and he towered over you, one knee beside your legs with both his hands on either side of your head to hold himself up. “Are we even now?”

You tried to swallow, but your mouth was dry. “W-what now?”

“A gentleman usually waits for the girl he likes to say yes…” His face inched closer down to yours, waiting as he flitted his eyes between your eyes and your lips.

“Then…yes.”

You never understood how ‘searing kisses’ existed in literature. Until you had that kiss with Xavier. Your entire face felt like it was on fire, growing throughout your body. The way his tongue met with yours, the feeling of one of his hands on the back of your neck, moving down to the lower part of your back. You kissed him back with just as much intensity as he kissed you, your hands exploring his chest, and you were sure that you ripped a few buttons clean off as you tried to get rid of as many layers as possible. 

“Are you sure…?” He gasped against your mouth as your hands fumbled with his pants. 

“Fuck, please…” You begged into his mouth. 

Xavier readjusted the two of you on his couch, having you fully lay down and him settling in between your legs. He had even placed the pillows under your head so you could watch him properly. You watched as he ripped open your stockings impatiently, just to be able to remove your underwear properly. Your skirt was tossed to the side, along with your shirt, leaving you fully nude. “Fucking beautiful. I knew you’d be this beautiful…” He praised as he kissed your belly, moving upwards to kiss each breast, and then more upwards to your neck. He was still fully clothed, despite your shaky attempts of tearing his clothes off. You lacked the strength he had. But you felt his bulge through his pants on your bare core. You couldn’t help but seek friction by rubbing yourself against his clothed cock, making him wince against your neck. His free hand grabbing one of your breasts, as if to hold himself grounded. “I-impatient…Are you enjoying yourself?” His hips moved against yours. You had a feeling you soaked through his pants, but it felt like he got harder with each movement. 

It was an odd sensation, but since it was with Xavier, everything felt too good. You were almost at the edge when he pulled back, making you whine.

He replaced the sensation with his hand. Xavier’s bare fingers were against you, no fabric in sight to separate the two of you anymore. “You’re so wet, starlight. Were you waiting for this?” Two fingers played at your entrance. “I can already tell…what your answer is…” He moved on top of you again to capture your lips, and at the same time, his fingers entered you. 

It was hard to kiss him back as you moaned into his mouth. Everything was happening all the same time and you were overjoyed. His two fingers pumped in and out of you as his thumb rubbed against your clit. A small part of you wanted to be jealous of where he learned how to be good with his hands, but each movement sent shockwaves throughout your body. “Your entire body…is responding to me.”

“Please, X-Xavier…” You felt spit drip down from the side of your mouth and you were unaware if it was yours or his. “I n-need you.”

“You have me, baby.” He softly bit your neck as he got faster with his hands. 

You threw your head back with almost a yelp, you were too close, but you wanted more. “F-fuck me, please. I can take it…I want it.” Adrenaline coursed through your veins, giving you just enough strength to say what you wanted.

Xavier sat back up and pulled his fingers out of you. “I never thought I’d hear you beg for me…I want to hear it more…” You watched as he removed his pants just enough to free his cock. Long and thick cock. You weren’t surprised, and you weren’t disappointed. He took the fingers that were inside of you and used your lingering slick to wrap around himself, stroking himself as he looked at you. “Do it again…”

You couldn’t find it in you to be embarrassed. “Please…please fuck me, Xavi…”

Instead of fucking you then and there, Xavier stood up and grabbed your wrist to make you follow him. Your legs wobbled with need and you could feel your excitement dribble down your thigh. “Come here…” He said through gritted teeth, pushing aside his chair and making you bend over in front of his desk. 

His actions in getting you to his desk were rough, but the way he slowly entered you showed his restraint and care still. The way he held you up as you took his cock slowly through every inch until he was fully in. “Oh my fu- ngh!” You knew you had limited words now, your mind filled with sex.

“I knew you’d feel so good, starlight. I’ve been imagining this for so long…” He kissed your shoulder. “Tell me you had too…”

All you could do was nod as moans spilled out of your mouth at every thrust.

“Look at the screen, starlight.” He lifted your head gently by your hair, aiming your gaze at his computer monitor. The camera that was normally pointed at the keyboard was pointed right at you. He pressed on the spacebar and it was your reflection. It wasn’t recording you, but the big ‘Go Live’ button on the corner made you feel nervous. 

And somehow more excited.

Xavier hissed behind you. “Fuck me…I knew you’d like this.” Another thrust into you filled the room with both of your moans. “Don’t you look beautiful…?”

“Y-you’re embarrassing me…” You grunted out.

Another thrust. Wetter and louder. Harder. “Really? It sounds like you’re really enjoying yourself. Look…” His hand moved down to hold you up with your chin. “Your words don’t match what’s happening here– ngh…” Another thrust. He squeezed your cheeks together with his thumb and index, making you pucker out your lips for the camera. “And here…you look so good around my cock…right?” The grip he had on your hip was so tight, but it somehow felt so good.

In just a few seconds, so many new interests came to your mind, being awakened inside of you. 

You realized how long his arms were with the way he so easily maneuvered them around you. He moved his hold onto you to be able to put two of his fingers into your mouth. And like clockwork, you welcomed him right in. “Is this what you imagined while watching me play?” His other hand roamed up your waist, squeezing at every part of you that he could. “I’ve read what you’ve said about me…” He chuckled, referring to your fan account. “You’re doing so well…”

You hummed around his fingers, looking right at the screen. It was embarrassing to see how blown out you looked. Your eyes no longer looked like they were in your control. It was so high-definition that you could see the strings of spit dropping onto his desk as you sucked on his fingers. Xavier was barely on screen, but you could see the bottom half of his face. The smirk. You felt that it was unfair seeing as your chest softly bounced, fully nude and bare. Whilst Xavier still had his white button-up still on. Barely but still on. 

“Careful with where your hands are, baby. One wrong move and Lumiere’s face reveal might get my whole channel banned…you wouldn’t want that would you?” He slowed down his thrusts, watching you intently and moving your hair out of your face with his other hand that wasn’t in your mouth still. “Or maybe you do? You talked a lot about me being so jealous…but I’ve seen you react to other thirst tweets about Lumiere.” He leaned closer to your ear, licking at your tongue as he looked at you through the screen. “You’re just as jealous as me, aren’t you?”

Your eyebrows knitted together as you nodded weakly, pushing your ass back onto him, silently begging him to keep going. 

Xavier removed his fingers from your mouth, taking advantage of how wet they were to bring them down to your clit, rubbing small and soft circles just to tease you as he completely stopped fucking you. “Tell me who you like…say my name.”

Your knees were trembling even more. “X-Xavi…-er, p-please?” You turned back to look at him, the real him, trying to meet his blue eyes. You searched for the satisfaction, the pleasure that was contorting his face. “Xavier…I like-angh…you. S-so much.” You felt drool on the corner of your mouth and you knew you looked like a mess. You already saw it. 

He pulled out of you completely, making you whimper from the loss. And then he grabbed the chair that he pushed aside to sit you down in it, settling himself in between your legs. His cock radiated heat and looked slick in the dim light of the desk lamp. “Say it again.” He teased the tip at your entrance, hooking your legs onto his forearms as he gripped the armrests of the gaming chair. “Please, starlight?”

You wiggled in the seat, trying to get more comfortable. Your sweat made you slip easier around the leather chair. “Don’t…” You gasped as he moved his tip against your clit. “D-don’t call me that,” you whined. 

“Why not, starlight? Isn’t that the name you made for me?” He chuckled. 

You were breathing heavily as you glared at him. “Oh, so now you wanna be Lumiere…when it-” He slapped his cock against your tip this time, as if he hated the way you said a different name. 

“Say my name,” he nearly growled. His blue eyes turned darker than ever. “You don’t want me to stop, right?”

You shook your head.

“Yet…it seems like you don’t want me to continue either.” He cocked his head to the side. 

“X-Xavier…” You gave up, desperate for him. 

“Hmm? What… Your voice is trembling. I can’t hear you…” He teased, pulling back.

“Xavier! Please!” He chuckled, positioning himself at your entrance. “Good girl,” he said before fully entering you again. “Fuck…you’re so good.”

Only a little bit of you was worried about the neighbors. You wondered if Xavier was enjoying that other people could hear you. Especially one person downstairs. You were moaning loudly as he grunted while he fucked you.

You could feel every inch and hear every inch entering you. It was almost embarrassing how wet you were, but you could see him staring intently at the place the two of you connected. You laid your head back on the chair and shut your eyes, taking in every movement as you got closer and closer over the edge.

But then he dropped one of your legs and grabbed your face again, gripping it tightly. “Keep your eyes open and look at me.” 

And you don’t know what came over you as he said those words to you, but one look at him being rough made you instantly cum. Your head was thrown back again as your entire body shook and your walls pulsed around his cock. Your hands gripped and scratched at his arms, losing control of every limb.

“Holy fuck…you’re beautiful.” He gasped. “So…perfect.” He muttered as he leaned down to capture your open mouth with his, tangling your tongues together as he tasted everything. “I’ll never…get enough of this…” He said in between kisses. “Fuck…I’m gonna cum, starlight.” He kissed your cheek and moved to your ear. “Where do you want me…?” He whispered seductively in your ear. 

“Holy shit…p-please Xavier. Insi-inside me…” You nearly screamed, afraid he’d pull out.

You didn't know if it was generosity or if it was him continually making the same mistake unknowingly. In any case, it must've been nice to have so much money you didn't have to worry about it. But you figured his line of work wasn't very.. traditional, to put it delicately. You had a bad feeling about it, but it wasn't any of your business, so who cared.

"Your hands are red," he said one day. You were snapped out of your thoughts at his deviation from your usual routine with him. You looked down at your hands, which were indeed stained a faint orange-red.

That weekend, you decided to take on a pottery class on your own. You wanted to start a new hobby, but you were honestly terrible at it no matter how many hours you spent at the studio. The stains weren't intentional, though, and you almost forgot that they were there until he pointed it out.

"Oh," you said. "Don't worry, we wear gloves when we're handling food," you reassured him as you rang up his usual large, iced americano.

His laugh was warm and deep, something that made your skin prickle upon first hearing it. "I wasn't worried. I haven't had a bad experience here yet." He held his card against the payment dock and smiled as he tapped on the payment screen, all while resting his gaze on you.

You smiled at him politely. "We'll have it out for you on the other end."

His eyes lingered on you for a moment before he moved towards the other end of the counter like you instructed him so many times before. When you checked the transaction history at the end of your shift, the tip grew to $500.

You told your manager about it immediately, which prompted another useless attempt at trying to get into contact with Sylus. You left his tiny workspace and told your coworkers about the whole situation, much to their delight.

"Ah, I knew he would come in today," one of them said.

"He always comes when you're working," another added.

You rolled your eyes. "So is he stalking me?"

They all laughed. "If he is, can he stalk you more?"

"He only tips well when you're on shift."

You frowned at that. "What?"

They shrug collectively. "It's true. If it's someone else, he only tips a few dollars."

You groan. "So he is a creep then."

There could have been help to grab the two of you instead, but the rest of the association was spread thin. It was almost as if there were tears everywhere, pouring in all sorts of metaflux issues. Wanderers of all ranks were popping up randomly. Thankfully only a few were opening up in the city itself, but it was too hectic for help. You had to get the two of you to the hospital yourself. The guy was practically slumped on your back, but his grip around your waist was reassuring that he wouldn’t fall during the trip. The situation would normally make you feel embarrassed, but you were too worried about his injuries as you felt the back of your uniform soaking with what you assumed to be his blood.

Luckily for the two of you, you ran into your friend Greyson right at the entrance of the hospital who was able to signal for a group of staff to take the both of you in. A group of nurses brought two wheelchairs and Greyson helped peel off your colleague from your back before helping you off of your bike.

“I don’t need the chair but thank you.” You said to one of the nurses who was waiting for you. “Please take care of him, he’s one of our new Hunters.” They nodded at you before running off to follow your colleague. Then you turned to Greyson. “Can you just do me a favor and stitch me up without…” His eyes wandered behind you and you already felt a chilling presence. 

“Without notifying your primary physician?” You heard his voice behind you. Strict as usual with a hint of fatigue. Zayne grabbed your arm to spin you around to face him, worried eyes examining you whilst still maintaining his professionalism. “I’ll take that since you still have the energy to attempt to go behind my back, that this isn’t your blood.”

“It was my trainee’s…I don’t know what happened out there.” You trailed off. Although you knew that the wanderer’s strength was out of your control, it still felt bad that the person you were aiming to protect was more hurt than you.

“Greyson, take his case. I’ll take over here.” Zayne bent down, holding your wrist to wrap it over his shoulders. “Careful. I know you don’t like the wheelchair because you think people look at you… But I do assure you that more people will look at us like this.” He lifted you up enough to keep you off the bad leg, wrapping his arm around your waist to keep you steady as he walked you into the hospital. The words that left his mouth mocked comfort, and you heard a smirk in his voice as he spoke to you. He was right though, more people’s eyes wandered over to you. 

You weren’t sure if it was you being covered in blood, or if it was because you were being held by Linkon’s finest cardiologist. “You’re probably busy, Dr. Zayne…” You sheepishly muttered, trying to hide the wince as you tried to move your bad arm. “I’m sure another one of your staff is perfectly capable of six or seven stitches…”

“I was just catching up on paperwork, you’re not keeping me from anything more important.” He said, looking straight ahead. “I guess I should just be thankful that you’re not being airlifted here via helicopter.”

You snorted, recalling his earlier interactions with you. “I’m sure a cardiologist shouldn’t be wasting time on a couple of lacerations and x-rays.” You took a deep breath as he walked you into an empty examination room, sitting you down on the bed.

“You speak so formally around me still as if we didn’t just have dinner together last night. You used to mouth me off so casually.” He grabbed a clipboard and headed to the computer in the room to print out your information. “You even try to go under the radar when you’re hurt.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself but he was quicker.

“You know that every procedure you get is sent back to your primary physician, right? And getting hurt in battle is very much my business. This is added-stress to your heart.” Once he had the paperwork all filled out, he went to the cabinet to grab a gown and a couple of wipes. “Change into this. Press the button if you want a nurse to help you. I’m going to order some tests for you and get some other things. I’ll be back.” He handed them to you before leaving the room with large strides, giving you no room to respond. 

The clothes stung to peel off, as if the blood had glued it onto you. You were sure that your ankle was just sprained, but there was definitely some breakage in your arm. You sighed as you knew you’d be stuck in office duty for a while at work which was terrible for your restless body. 

You started thinking about what Zayne said. The two of you had been casually hanging out with each other more often even since having lunch together impromptu before. It became a bit of a habit to see each other when the two of you were free.

Slowly, with each meeting, your feelings snowballed into something bigger. The person who once was your childhood friend that left overnight became your primary care physician. The cute timid boy from a few houses down that had his nose stuck in a textbook had grown up to be just a taller version of that kid. Only this time, you were able to actually find the kid in him that you couldn’t when he was one. 

Every small action of his was conveyed with so much care that it was hard for you to not see him in a different light. Even with the way that he walked you into the hospital room, you could feel how he handled you with such care. There were small twitches in his face that showed his worry, and yet he tried to lighten the mood instead. 

You were sure your feelings were reciprocated, but the two of you were stuck. At least, you knew that you were stuck. If anything, Zayne was most likely waiting for you to be comfortable enough to go further. 

But there was always a small feeling in the back of your head that he would disappear again, like he did when you were kids. 

You were pushed out of your thoughts with a knock on the door. A nurse came in to help you clean off your wounds before dressing you to ready you for a night filled with examinations and treatments. 

–

Your injuries were greater than you believed at first; so much so that Zayne had you stay at the hospital for a few nights. 

You heard that your colleague was also subjected to the same thing, but he was a lot better than you were, despite the head trauma. You were bruised and battered all-over. You were surprised that after the battle, you only sustained one fracture though.

Zayne came in to check on you every hour or so, as if he was living in the hospital himself. Although you weren’t really surprised, you couldn’t help but feel warm knowing that he stuck around when he could.

As he was monitoring your recovery and checking on your charts, something you were sure that wasn’t exactly his job, Yvonne came into the room with a vase of flowers. 

Since you had visited Zayne often, and you were also a regular at the hospital considering your heart condition and chosen career, you had grown close to a lot of the staff. One of them being Yvonne. “Gosh, that coworker of yours is a real sweetheart. He got all the nurses that’s been taking care of him a gift basket!” She set the still-unexplained-flowers on your bedside table after acknowledging Zayne. “I hope you’re feeling better. He’s been worried sick about you. His heart rate monitor starts dinging like crazy whenever you’re mentioned.” She snickered, taking the charts from Zayne’s hands to look for herself.

“Is he okay?” You sat up a bit to be able to make better conversation and to be able to look at the flowers. Pink roses.

“He’s f-” Yvonne started to say before Zayne interrupted her.

“You should be focused on your recovery. How will Linkon survive another day without their beloved Hunter?” He looked at you with a cocked eyebrow over the room’s computer monitor. “Are those flowers from the Association?”

“No.” Yvonne glared at Zayne, in a playful manner yet lined with true annoyance. “They’re actually from her secret admirer.” She pursed her lips before giggling. “Oh who am I kidding, how secret can it be? His name is on the card. It came along with all the gift baskets. He wanted to say sorry for not being more helpful during the attack that night blah-blah-blah.” She waved her hand to brush away the details. “Isn’t it cute, Dr. Zayne? Someone has a crush on our little Hunter friend!”

“You don’t like roses.” He said, grabbing your chart back from Yvonne. “And it’s an apology bouquet. Haven’t you said that ‘pity’ flowers don’t last as long as ‘happy’ flowers?” He clicked his tongue, as if giving a bad grade to a student. “Your potassium levels are low, and I want another EKG reading before you’re discharged tomorrow. I’ll let the association know that you’ll be ready for out-of-office duty again in two weeks. Luckily the anomalies have calmed down, so they won’t be suffering too much of a loss for now.” His pager beeped in his pocket and he grabbed it instantly before excusing himself.

When the door shut, Yvonne giggled again. “The flowers are from the Association, by the way.” 

“Wha-” You grabbed the note to make sure. “Oh my god, why did you say-”

“Please, did you see his reaction? I’d do it again. That was so good. You two have been dancing around each other for months and I’m not losing that bet with Dr. Greyson!” She moved to the cabinets to grab a small packet that looked like a coffee creamer. “Eugh, these potassium cups do not taste good.” She cringed, placing it on the table of your hospital bed. “The other things were completely true though. That guy is so infatuated with you.” She grabbed a cup of water and placed it beside the medicine. “I mean, I would too if you saved me from a big ol’ Wanderer!”

Your cheeks burned as she casually sped through an embarrassing situation and admitting that there was more than one person who knew about you two and the elephant in the room. “He’ll get over it. It was really just bad timing. If anything, I feel bad that his first time in the No-Hunt Zone ended up in a couple days at the hospital.” You cleared your throat. “A bet?”

“Silly, it’s if you two get a move on and get together before the end of this year. I said yes, of course. Greyson isn’t too hopeful.” When what she said was processed in your head, your own monitor started beeping. She started fanning your face. “Oh, dear.”

–

You recovered just fine, but the desk work had you itching to go back out on the field. Although Zayne had given you a two-week period before you were allowed, he still had to sign you off before you were able to officially be assigned field work. 

On your way to the hospital, you saw the new bakery the two of you have been meaning to try. The line had been too long the first few days of opening and he kept being called to work as the two of you waited together, being unable to make it inside every single attempt. Zayne had always looked so guilty each time, but you never minded. You always admired his work ethic and dedication.

It was the first time you didn’t see a long line outside of the bakery, so you decided to go inside to pick something out for Zayne. You knew he would consider it a bribe, and he wouldn’t be entirely wrong either. He was just a little strict when it came to your health sometimes, especially since the two of you were closer. 

You walked into the bakery and saw that there were a few people doing their work on laptops on scattered tables. The bakery case itself looked more sparse than you expected but it was probably since it was near noon. It was more of a surprise that there was still anything left. 

Despite it, the bakery still smelled like freshly baked bread and coffee. It was comforting to you.

“Hi, welcome! Is it your first time here?” A man in an apron who was cleaning up a nearby table greeted you. He looked rather young, you wondered if he was just working there but when you saw his name tag, it said, “Johnny” with the words “Baker/Owner” under it.

“Yeah, actually! I was just looking for something quick. I’m on my way somewhere…” You replied, walking over to the bakery case. Macarons with different shades of blue caught your attention, almost as if it was meant to be for you to pick up. There was just enough for a gift box. “I’d love to get the rest of these, please!” You excitedly pointed at the remaining treats at the case, turning back towards the man who greeted you earlier.

He nodded at you and moved behind the counter. As he packed them into the box, he kept glancing at you. 

You felt a bit awkward and tried to make conversation. “How has it been since opening? I’ve been meaning to try this place, but I rarely have time! I’m glad you still had anything left. I always see such a long line.” You moved to grab your wallet as he turned to the other counter to finish packing things up.

“It’s been really good! We slow down around this time of day, but our morning rush is hectic! It’s been really welcoming here in Linkon.” He turned his head just enough to respond to you, while still packing everything nicely with his back towards you. “Thanks for coming by still.” He finally turned back towards you, the gift box with macarons decorated with a ribbon and some stickers with the name of the place. “Would you care for a drink?”

You shook your head. “I should get going soon.” You waited for him to input your totals and then watched him bag up the treats. 

As he handed you a receipt, he put his finger up to ask you to give him a moment and he went back to the bakery case and packed a muffin. “On the house. I really hope to see you again.” Johnny handed you the bag with a bright smile on his face. “Please enjoy.”

You wondered if it was just customer service or something more but didn’t really bother to dwell on it. You took the bag with a smile and waved goodbye. And then you made your way to the hospital.

When you got to the check-in desk, Yvonne was on the phone. She motioned for you to make your way to Zayne’s office, like a normal routine. You usually just checked in with her to make sure he wasn’t in the middle of a surgery. Before you headed over, to his office, you placed the free muffin you had received in front of her and she mouthed a quick ‘thank you’, pouting at you with gratitude.

“I bring presents, Dr. Zayne!” You greeted as you knocked and opened his door. You didn’t miss the small smile on his lips as your eyes met. He was still in his white coat, and his office smelled like rubbing alcohol. Only the window was open and the smell of the dried jasmine flowers was hinted in the air.  You closed the door behind you and raised the paper bag with the name showing. “You’ve been so busy these past few days and it was on the way.” You set the bag down in front of him on his desk and took a seat across from him. 

Zayne took his glasses off and smirked softly, placing them down. He examined the bag before holding his hand out again. 

You looked at him confused and then placed your hand on his open palm. His skin was cold like usual. 

He flinched slightly, surprised at your action before a soft laugh left his lips. “Your fingers are still pretty despite your accident. And surely weeks of paperwork.” His thumb caressed your nails, looking at your digits. “But I’m waiting for the obvious reason you’re here.” He placed your hand down onto the cold glass table and held his hand out again. 

Your cheeks burned as you realized he meant your release paperwork for the Association. “Oh! Silly me…” You confessed, clearing your throat awkwardly. And then you huffed after you realized what he meant. “Am I not allowed to visit my dear friend at work anymore?” 

“Your dear friend normally doesn’t receive such presents.” He jutted his chin towards the bag and grabbed a pen from his pocket, flipping through the pages. “No lightheadedness? Chest pains? Joint pains?” He reached out towards your hand again, grabbing your wrist and pressed two fingers against the inner portion, checking your pulse. 

You were afraid he’d read other results. You were still embarrassed from earlier and now your heart was racing from finally registering that he called your fingers pretty. His chill skin against yours was making you too excited. 

Zayne hummed. “What’s getting you excited? Your pulse rate is high?”

You took your hand back from him and laughed. “I was speed walking on my way here, so I’m probably still dealing with that…Um, no lightheadedness or any sorts of pain. I’m ready.” You nodded, attempting to move the conversation along. 

His pen was about to touch the paper until his watch went off. “Oh, it’s lunchtime. Care to join me?”

You hesitated as he set the pen down and took his coat off. “Th-, uh…”

“Wasn’t someone just bugging me to eat all my meals? If I sign your forms right now, how will I guarantee that you’ll have lunch with me?” He walked around his deck and leaned back onto it, looking down at you on the chair. He pushed his black long sleeves up to reveal his forearms and you couldn’t help but stare. 

The more time you spent with him, the more you saw of him. And you wanted more.

Your mouth went dry as you studied how his hands and forearms looked. Slender fingers, clearly muscular, clean. Beautiful yet bittersweet. You tore your gaze away to not give him the idea that you were questioning something else, because you really were just admiring him. “I would have just stayed if you asked me to.” You said, looking up at him to meet his eyes.

It looked like he took a moment to register what you said, but it was almost as if his gaze melted. Warm. “I appreciate that. Now shall we? I haven’t eaten from the cafeteria in a while, I heard the menu is good today.” He stood up properly and held his hand out to you.

You took it to help you up and then reached behind him to grab the bag. “Then we can try the treat after!”

Once the two of you reached the cafeteria downstairs, you suddenly felt out of place. You were normally in your Hunter’s uniform when you visited him, but you were in a mood to impress Zayne so you wore a cropped shirt and a skirt. It was simple, but it felt awkward being in a room filled with professional wear and scrubs. 

“You shouldn’t feel awkward, you look good. It’s just a cafeteria. Everyone’s too tired to question anything.” You felt his hand on the small of your back, leading you to the line. 

“How did-” You looked up at him to ask. 

“You’re fidgeting with the skirt of your dress. You’re easy to read…” He clicked his tongue. “For me, at least.”

“You’re a me-expert now?” Your cheeks felt warm and so did your chest. You had always appreciated how attentive he was. “I used to think you would just ignore my silly antics.”

“Ignoring you has never crossed my mind, you should know that.” He said seriously.

You awkwardly laughed at his admission. “Well, I consider myself a Zayne-expert.”

He chuckled behind you. You could barely make out him saying, "Doesn't seem like it yet,” under his breath. Zayne made small talk with some of the staff who greeted him enthusiastically and he swiped his badge and card to pay for the two of you. 

As the two of you ate, you noticed how a lot of people were crowded around a table nearby. “Do you know what that’s about?” 

“We have a visiting resident from Chansia City. He’s a plastic surgeon looking to help some of our patients who have experienced some of the more severe effects of protocore syndrome.” There was a slight edge to his voice, indicating he wasn’t too fond of him. Zayne wasn’t much to talk badly about someone outright, but you started learning the signs after learning about Carter. 

“That sounds…like good work. What are your thoughts?” You asked him before taking another bite. 

His lips pressed into a thin line as he picked the carrots out of his stir fried noodles. “I just hope that his business here will be a success soon…so he can return safely.”

All of a sudden, you hear his name come from the table you just asked about and a cheerful man stood up to walk over to your table. “I’m surprised to see you here, Dr. Zayne. I’ve heard from a lot of the staff here that you don’t normally take lunch breaks.” His hair was styled almost too perfectly, and his smile was a bit too bright. You couldn’t deny he was attractive, but it was more in an unsettling or untrustworthy way. He looked excitedly at Zayne but kept glancing at you. 

“My most tedious patient came by during lunch time so I thought we’d spend time together before she acted stubborn again.” Zayne replied, returning back to his stoic expression. 

“You must be her.” You heard, snapping out of your thoughts. You were fully invested in watching how Zayne reacted that you didn’t notice the hand being reached out towards you for a handshake. 

You hesitantly shook his hand and nodded. “I think he meant favorite, but I understand the confusion…” You threw a glance at Zayne and saw the small twitch of his lip, still holding back a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

The doctor suddenly said, “I can see why. You’re beautiful.” 

An awkward laugh left your throat. “Do you flirt with all your patients?” You pulled your hand back from his, trying to not seem too hasty. 

He shrugged, “Only the ones I deem worthy.”

You hummed, turning back to Zayne, hoping the other would take it as his cue to leave. And yet he stayed. 

“I’m still new to Linkon and was wondering if I could find a proper tour guide. Are you free toni-” He started to ask until Zayne chimed in. 

“We have a date tonight.” Zayne said, still poking through the carrots on his food. “Your pager is going off, Doctor. See you around then.” 

The other doctor gave you a sheepish smile before fishing the device out of his pocket. “My apologies then…Enjoy, you two.” He hurriedly said before walking off, a gaggle of nurses trailing  him. 

It was quiet for a moment, yet it only felt slightly awkward. His words echoed in your mind and you don’t remember any plans with him that night, much less remember being asked out on a date. Your leg started bouncing and you no longer could hear the chatter of everyone around you from the blood rushing up to your face. 

“A date?” You managed to croak out.

“Are you opposed?” He put his fork down on his tray and laced his fingers together, looking at you. Searching for signs in your eyes. 

You grabbed a napkin and patted your lips. And then you shook your head. “Not exactly.”

Zayne hummed, grabbing the bag with the macarons to unpack it and try one.

“If I knew it only took a ‘hot’ doctor to hit on me for you to ask me out, I would’ve spent more time in this cafeteria.” You chuckled to yourself before taking a sip of water. 

“Don’t think I missed your expression when the new nurse kept calling me ‘amazing’ while checking up on you the other day. I suppose I can let your remark just now slide since I do agree…your reaction is amusing.” He smirked but when he opened the box of macarons, his face dropped.

You moved your tray to the side and widened your eyes. “What’s wrong…was I too rough with handling the box? Did it fall apart?” You reached over and faced the box towards you. Everything looked normal. Except for the written note on top of the macarons. You lifted it to read it out loud. “‘Hope these taste as sweet as you are’? Is that…” You squinted at the writing underneath. “...his number?” You snickered. “For an owner of a bakery, he has really bad handwriting.” 

“I hope you’re not easily swayed by this…” Zayne reached over to grab the note, examining it. “It seems everyone who comes in contact with you is suddenly smitten.” He put the note in his pants pocket. “Sucks for them.” He smiled but there was a hint of annoyance in his face.

You rolled your eyes, hiding how you were really enjoying how he was acting. You picked up a macaron and held it in front of his face. “Ignore the baker and focus on how I went out of my way to pick up a treat for you, Dr. Zayne. Try it.”

What you didn’t expect was for him to hold your wrist as he took a bite, a hesitant bite, as if the annoyance he felt towards the baker affected the taste of one of his favorite treats. You felt his lips caress your fingertips as he slowly took a bite, and his eyes never left yours. It was seductive and alluring for something so mundane as eating. His cold fingers held your wrist with a tight yet gentle grip, and it sent electricity shocks up your arm.

He hummed, chewing, still holding onto you. “I prefer the place we usually go to, but I appreciate the sentiment of the gift giver. I’ll come with you here next time, perhaps we can give it another chance. Together.” He let go of your wrist and grabbed the macaron from your hand.

You tried to grab one from the box to try for yourself, but he snatched the box from you. “Hey!”

“Too much sugar isn’t good for you.” He popped the last bite into his mouth and placed the box away into the bag. “And besides, you said this was a gift for me.” He stood up and grabbed both of your trays to take to the trash and then came back. “Let’s go back to my office. Your things are still there. And we have some business to attend to.” Zayne helped you up, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he held it. You could tell he was holding back on something.

The elevator ride up was unusually empty, and the tension was thick. Zayne oozed jealousy and the emotion coming from a usually well-kept man was making you feel hot. His sleeves were still rolled up, his posture straight, and his furrowed brow was too attractive. You always knew there was something between you two but seeing him act out was affirming. 

“You’re staring.” He said, looking up at the floor numbers, a small glance sent your way.

“I like looking at you.” You muttered out loud on accident. You were tempted to crawl into a hole and hide, but the small smile that grew on his face made you feel comforted.

“Good.”  He fiddled with his shirt collar.

The doors opened up on his floor and he grabbed your wrist, walking the two of you into his office faster than normal. Even Yvonne flashed questioning eyes towards the two of you.

As soon as you two were inside, he pressed the door close. Hesitating with a deep breath. The office was dimly lit with a desk light and the blinds were completely shut, blocking out the daylight. Your name left his mouth softly before he turned around, walking towards you.

For some reason, you stepped back each time he stepped forward. Up until your legs hit his desk, leaving you with no more room to move. “Dr. Zayne.”

“I’ve been holding back for so long, but it keeps getting harder being unable to claim any sort of relationship with you when others try...” Zayne muttered, pressing his forehead against yours. He took a deep, shaky breath. 

“You call us childhood companions.” You chewed your lip, watching how his face reacted, clear signs of discomfort riddled him.

A bitter chuckle left him as he opened his eyes to look at you. “Yes and that does such a great job at deterring others from persisting a night out with you.” He sarcastically said. “Are you going to keep pretending? Do you really want to continue seeing me suffer?” His hands moved up from your neck to cradle your face, tilting you to look up at him more deeply. “Please.”

You looked into his eyes, taking in a new sight: Zayne, raw and nearly begging. Completely wrapped around your finger, out in the open. “It’s been kind of fun seeing you like this.” Your breath hitched as his thumb caressed your cheek.

“Really? You enjoy torturing me so?” He inhaled your scent, as if it was oxygen to him. “I’ll let you have your moments, but we shouldn’t let others think they have a chance now. It’s rude.”

“And here I thought you didn’t want me to be too friendly to others.” You playfully rolled your eyes. “I never pegged you as someone with irrational judgement before…” You muttered, your gaze moving down to his lips. Something about his jealous demeanor was driving you over the edge, knowing that he had the same amount of control as you–or lack thereof.

“Emphasis on ‘too’. We should still practice kindness. And anyways there must be moments of irrational judgement and people who can be your weakness. That’s what makes you truly alive.” Zayne replied, mirroring your actions. “And yet, right now, I feel like I’m dying to kiss you.” He leaned in just enough for you to feel his breath on your lips but not enough.

“Why don’t you then?” You gulped, worried that your mouth is suddenly dry from anticipation and panic. You were sure he could hear your heart beating out of your chest, afraid that he’d stop the entire thing out of precaution for your heart condition.

“I need to hear you say it.” His voice became stern, his eyebrows knitting together.

You couldn’t help but tease him further. “Say…what?”

“That you’re willing to let me call you mine.” He pulled away, studying your face that he was still holding onto. “Say those words and I won’t hold back.” One of his hands let go of your face, taking his finger to trace your jawline and then your clavicle, sending shivers through you.

With a shaky breath you said, “Consider me yours, then…Dr. Zayne.”

His hand went down to your waist in an instant, pulling you into him to crash your lips together in a searing kiss. His other hand moving the back of your head, tangling his fingers into your hair. He had a tight grip on you as he kissed you. Zayne pulled your hair back, tilting your face upward to meet him better. It was calculated and rough, as if he was attempting to absorb every fiber of your being.

His lips were soft and warm, in contrast to his usually cold hands. Everything in that moment was hot; metaphorically and physically. The hand on your waist slipped under the hem of your cropped shirt, suddenly feeling his chill fingers on your bare skin. It made you want more. You put your hand atop of his, guiding it under your shirt to touch your breast. 

You could feel the twitch of his brow as he made contact with your already erect bud, no bra in sight. The chilled pad of this thumb grazed against you and a soft moan left your throat, fluttering at his touch.

“As much as I’d love to have you here,” Zayne’s lips moved as he talked against yours, unable to pull back far enough. “I might get jealous again if someone hears you…” he moved this thumb against you again and you squeaked out another sound of pleasure. “...sound this good.” He kissed you again, touching and teasing every inch of your skin that he could reach. Despite his words, he continued to hold you there. Kissing his way down to your neck. His hands fingers untangled with your hair to move down to your waist, gripping on you like he was afraid you’d disappear.

“I thought you wanted to show me off to everyone, Dr. Zayne?” Your voice was strained from trying to sound levelled. His warm kisses on your neck were driving you crazy. The warmth of his lips paired with the chill of his hands was making your head spin. Your hands didn’t even know where to hold him. His shoulders, his hair, his chest. They were everywhere, attempting to feel him just as much as he felt you.

“I do.” He gasped at your neck as you felt his hips twitch against you. “But some things belong to only me, yes?” Another kiss. “You just said so. Don’t take it back now.” You felt his teeth graze your skin, a soft bite being placed on your ear lobe.

“Ngh…” Another sound was practically ripped out of you, louder from the surprise of his teasing.

“Behave.” He nearly hissed against your skin, his hand darting up to your mouth as he pulled away from you. The dim light of his office didn’t hide the small smirk twitching on his lips, knowing that he enjoyed every sound that came out of you and everything was purely calculated.

Your eyes widened before your eyebrows knitted together to glare at him. Two can play this game… You hand finally found a place to rest: in between the two of you, resting on his growing bulge through his pants. Your thumb rubbing small circles on the warm mound, heat nearly resonating from it. 

His head drooped down but he maintained eye contact. A soft groan slipped past his lips, a heavenly sound. The small moan from him sent your stomach to do flips. Your fingers played with his zipper, wondering if you could see more of him but he grabbed your hand first, slightly disappointing you as he no longer held your chest. “We don’t need to rush. Keep your hand there.” His hips moved softly against your hand as you tried to feel more of it.

“You’re really hard…” You gulped. Eager and wanting. Slowly becoming more impatient by the second.

“The most vulnerable part of my body is being held by the girl I like, right now. It’s a natural response.” Zayne hissed. “Fuck…”

You couldn’t help but reel back and look at him. “Did…Dr. Zayne…just curse?”

He looked at you shocked for a second and then chuckled. “How long will you keep referring to me as your doctor? I’m quite capable of cursing, I believe. It’s your fault, in any case.” He pressed your hand harder onto his crotch as he took your other hand and kissed it. “What would you rather I say?”

You shook your head, feeling even hotter. “I like it…I want to see more of you…”

Zayne took your hand away from him, placing both of yours by your sides. And then he dropped his forehead onto your shoulder. “We have to get out of here…I think I’ll go crazy if you tease me for any longer.”

“My place or yours?” You asked, your breathing heavy.

“I’m on the ground floor, I don’t know if I’ll survive another elevator ride with you.” He muttered.

The two of you scrambled to leave the office. Accidentally leaving your release forms on his desk as the two of you grabbed your things. Zayne almost left the office with his hair disheveled until you stopped him to fix it.

There were a lot of people in the elevator ride down to the underground garage, and you could feel him fidgeting beside you. As it continued to pack on the way down, he held you closer to him for support. You just didn’t know if it was support for you or for him. 

His fingers went under your shirt again, touching the small of your back. A shiver went up your spine and you felt him chuckle beside you as he held you tighter.

The moment the two of you made it to his car, you instantly walked to the passenger’s side. You thought he was opening the door for you, but he grabbed your wrist again and moved you to the backseat. Opening that door instead.

“I can’t wait anymore…I’m sorry…Is this okay?” Despite the confidence of his hold on you, his face looked flustered. He opened his coat and you could see that his excitement never faltered. His ears were red and when you looked up at him for a few seconds without answering, he looked away, biting the back of his index finger. “Am I being to-”

You pulled his hand down from his face and moved up to kiss him instead of answering. He kissed you back almost instantly and held himself up with a hand on the roof of his car while he held you by your waist. His bulge pressed up against your hip as he kissed you deeply. 

“Careful…” He muttered against your lip, his hand moving up to the back of your head as got into the car.

Despite being insatiably horny, he was still caring and gentle (where it mattered) with you. You scooted back to the other seat, waiting for him, itching to get rid of every layer between the two of you. The back of his car wasn’t as romantic as the movies, but you were as impatient as he was. And the desire the two of you shared spurred you on even more. 

Zayne looked at you from the other side of the car, his chest moving up and down as he watched you squirm in the seat. Seconds of breathing, a small smile playing on his lips, as if he was taking in the scene. He looked around for a moment, and then he unbuckled his belt, unbuttoning his pants before climbing in with you. The door to the car slammed shut behind him. One knee on the seat and the other planted on the car floor as he was instantly hovering over you. “Say my name…”

You laid yourself out underneath him, his hand holding your head up like a pillow. You felt smaller than you ever had before. Your hands moved up to his face, caressing him as you studied his expression and he moved to kiss the inside of your palm. “Zayne…”

“Again.” He laid your head down onto the seat gently and sat back up. He removed his coat and folded it neatly to place underneath you instead before getting back on top of you. “I want to hear that I’m the one you like.”

“Z-Zayne.” You felt one hand trace your collarbone while the other hand moved to hold your leg. His hand was still cold against your bare skin, but every contact he made with you felt like fire. 

He pressed against your core and you tried holding back from fully grinding up into him.  You were sure that you were soaking through the thin fabric of your underwear, you couldn’t help but moan when you felt his cock through his pants. “I can feel how excited you are…” A bitter laugh left his throat. “Just for me…right? Say it.”

“Just…for you.” You breathed out a sigh, feeling his hips rock against you. Your hands grabbed at his shirt, untucking it out of his pants and you could see his belly button. A faint, trimmed look of what once was a happy trail leading to what you wanted the most at that moment. You moaned at the sight. 

“Good girl.” Zayne said, the hand on your thigh moved to your hip. Pushing your skirt up to see more of you. His thumb rested on your clothed clit. “Fuck, you’re wet already.” He rubbed small circles on you, watching every movement of your face. “Your reactions leave me wanting more.” He pressed into your clit, watching you through half-lidded eyes. 

Your back arched with a moan, and your clothes started to feel suffocating. You sat up, nearly touching his nose with your nose, your breaths mingling. Your hands moved on their own and you found yourself slipping your top off in one quick motion. Leaving you in your underwear and your skirt. “Stop teasing me…” You chewed on your lip as he looked at every exposed part of you. 

“You’re breathtaking.” He continued to rub small circles on you while his other hand moved to your back, holding you against him as he kissed you again. A slow kiss. A kiss that brought butterflies to your stomach again, feeling how his tongue moved against yours, like he wanted to really taste you. Zayne moaned, just from kissing you and touching you. He pulled away for just a moment. “We can stop…if you want. I can be more romantic than this. For you.” He kept pressing small kisses onto your face as he asked, but his eyes showed a bit of hesitance and fear.

You giggled softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Do I look like I want to stop?” You grabbed his hand that was on your hip and moved it to your chest, right above your heart. His hand quickly molded against your breast, kneading softly. “I really want you…Zayne.”

“Lie back down.” And instantly your back was touching the leather seats again. He removed his own shirt and you could finally see every muscle that was once being teased by the tight black shirt that he wore. 

What worried you slightly was the small patches of what looked like ice that was on various parts of his chest and upper arms. You knew it tended to happen when emotions were high like when he was helping you out with wanderer attacks, but you never wanted to push questioning further. You hoped that he would open up to you more with the new relationship.

Your hands traced up his abdomen, your fingertip dipping at every muscle. His skin felt cold, but you could feel his heart beating harder than before. You moved your finger back down, playing with the hem of his pants, already unbuckled.

As you touched him, he mimicked your movements on your own body. Mirroring your curiosity. And when you attempted to unzip his pants, he took your knee and bent it towards you to slip your underwear off; one leg at a time. Leaving you in a skirt and a bra. “I’ll take my time with you next time…I promise.” He brought one of your hands up to his lips and kissed it. 

All you could do was nod and you tried working on his button and zipper again. Your focus was lost the moment his fingers started working up and down your bare folds, feeling how slick you already were. You wanted to be embarrassed but he was fully amused, biting his own lip. 

While one hand worked on you, he freed his own cock from his pants. Brushing your hands away and easily popping the button and undoing his pants. He moved his pants down just enough to free himself and it practically jumped up onto his abdomen, standing straight up. He was big. Much bigger than any you’ve ever seen. It was intimidating and exciting. “Holy shit…is that real…?” You don’t know why you asked that, but you were shocked. 

Luckily for you, he found it funny. “Touch it and find out.” He said before inserting two fingers into you, working his digits in and out. 

It was hard for you, and so was he. You tried suppressing your moans by pressing your lips together. You reached down and were only able to grab the tip of his cock. You expected it to be cool like him, but it was burning up like he had a fever. And he was leaking with excitement like you were. The moment you made contact with him, his hips twitched and he wasn’t holding back on his noises like you were. 

Zayne’s hands moved faster inside of you, even adding another finger to stretch you out for him. His thumb played with your clit as he moved his other fingers, and his other hand pressed down on the area under your belly button. “You’re holding out on me now?” He moved his fingers even faster. “I guess your doctor has to work a little harder.”

The moment he curled his fingers right into your sweet spot, you were a goner. You lost control of your hands and let go of him, your hands had to grip onto his forearms for support. Ice prickled your skin and the hotness of your walls was being quelled with his fingers growing colder. A new sensation that made you see every color as your eyes shut with pleasure. “Fuck…Zayne…you’re so good…I-” You hands gripped his arms even tighter, surely leaving half-moons with your nails. 

“You’re close?” He asked, his brows furrowing with concentration. 

You nodded as you felt yourself spilling over the edge until suddenly you were empty. Your eyes flew open to see Zayne still in-between your legs, but the fingers that were inside of you were up to his face. He licked his index finger. “I can’t seem to get enough of you. But I’d rather you cum on my cock instead…” Zayne took his fingers that were just inside of you and shoved it into your mouth as he entered his cock into you. There were a lot of things that made your head spin. The taste of you on his fingers, his thumb caressing your cheek, and his cock entering you. Despite how rushed it felt, he took his time to slip into you. The stretch was nothing compared to his fingers, but you were craving more as he kept teasing each inch into you. “Fuck…you’re so good. I’m sorry for making you wait so long…Let me be selfish at this moment.”

You nodded at him, watching how full of ecstasy his face was. The moment he bottomed out, you let out a moan that was muffled by his fingers. Your earlier denied orgasm fueled you and just from a few thrusts you were already about to spill. Every movement Zayne did felt hot and cold. It was making you almost delirious.

At each thrust, he pushed down on your stomach, making both of you feel everything even more. “I don’t have a condom…It would be irresponsible.” He removed his fingers from your mouth and leaned down to kiss you. “I’ll pu-”

“Please don’t…” You whined against his lips. And even in the dim light of the garage parking in the dark car, you could see and feel how he smirked. 

Zayne sat back up slightly, still thrusting into you–even harder and deeper. He grabbed your jaw with his hand, rough but not bruising, and forced you to look at him. “Really?” The smile he had was almost knowing, like he was expecting your answer. You could even say it was cocky. But it was hot. “Ask me again.”

You felt the chilliness of his fingers growing on your face. “I-I…” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he kept hitting a spot in your walls that made you feel like you were gonna pee. “P-please…cum inside me…Zayne.”

He got rougher and harder as he fucked you. You were sure the car was rocking crazily, but you couldn’t even be bothered to care. “Such a good girl…fuck.”

“I’m cu-mming! Ngh…” You nearly screamed as you came, your hand holding onto his wrist that held your face, spasming as you came.

“Is there another me in the world?” He crossed his arms, tilting his head at you. Laughter chimed from your living room and he cocked his eyebrow at you. “Busy?”

You could’ve sworn there was a twitch in his brows. “Colleagues for that trip I texted you about.” You made way for him to enter your home, still shocked at his sudden appearance. You wanted to throw your arms around him, but you felt too embarrassed with your guests around.

“Guys?” He questioned, squeezing past you, noticing the chatter of deeper voices coming from the other room. There was an edge to his voice that sent a shiver down your spine. 

Instead of showing it, you just glared at him as you closed the door. “Behave.”

“Yes, captain.” Caleb’s frown melted as he smirked at you, dropping his bag by the wall. He then removed his jean jacket to hang on the coat rack, and you couldn’t help but notice how his arms were practically bulging out of his shirt. 

“W-woah…” Mindlessly, you poked his bicep. It flexed slightly from the shock of your actions. “Didn’t I just get this for you…did I get the wrong size?” You were going to stop after one poke, but the firmness made you even more curious. “Have you always…”

Someone cleared their throat from a few feet away and you saw Tara in the doorway. “I’m assuming the dumplings are in that duffel bag?” The look on her face was all-knowing. “You must be her…friend-person. She’s mentioned you before. I’m her friend-friend from work, Tara.”

Caleb waved at her before looking at you with curiosity in his eyes. “Good things?”

You shrugged, “Sometimes.”

The doorbell rang again and your eyes widened. “Now that should be the delivery!”

Everyone sat around the coffee table to eat while a random movie played on the TV. Only the movie became just background noise as your colleagues bombarded Caleb with questions. “Caleb, do you play ball?” “Caleb, how was being a pilot?” “Caleb, are you sure the two of you are just friends?”

But out of all questions, there was one that you did want to hear the answer to. “Caleb, are you coming with us to the trip next week? We always have an extra spot since they’ve never brought anyone before.” One of your colleagues asked, pointing over at you. 

“Should I?” You thought he was asking the person who popped the question, but when you looked up, he was looking right at you. 

You attempted not to choke on your food before you responded. “If you’re not busy…it’d be fun.” You nodded, your eyes moving back to your food as you felt heat rise up to your cheeks. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll go.” You could hear him smile, and you couldn’t help but mirror the reaction. The other guys in the room cheered.

All of a sudden, one of them mentioned playing basketball and everyone ended up at the park down the street. There were a few questionable stares when Caleb happened to have a set of basketball shorts in your dresser, but it was almost as if no one was actually surprised. The other guys were already dressed, as if they had been anticipating playing all day. They all chattered amongst themselves and casually threw shots as they waited for their other friends to show up for a full game.

“Your friend hasn’t stopped glancing at you since he’s gotten here, by the way.” Tara nudged you with her shoulder, pointing her handheld fan towards you.

You rolled your eyes, taking in the small breeze and sneaking a glance back at Caleb. It was most likely less obvious since you had your sunglasses on. “Don’t say it like that, oh my gosh…we’re just…friends.” You nodded, not even believing your own statement.

“Uh-huh…” She replied, unconvinced. “Friends don’t look at each other, the way you two do.”

A defeated sigh left your mouth and you took the sunglasses off so you could bury your face in your hands. “I’ve tried to escalate things…trust me.” You looked at her with a pout. “I’m pretty sure he feels the same way, but I’ve done everything and he still hasn’t cracked.”

Caleb had been your longtime crush since the two of you were in college. The two of you were just close friends before then, and you were too focused on school to really explore any feelings you had. When the two of you separated for college, everyone that you came across didn’t interest you and you realized you kept comparing them to Caleb. And it didn’t help that his college must have been putting him through the works since every time the two of you met during break, he became bigger and more handsome. You had tried being direct about your feelings, but he never took it the way you meant it.

“I like you.” You told him.

“I like you too, pipsqueak. Why? Are you trying to butter me up for something? I told you I’d make dinner already, silly.” Caleb replied, ruffling your hair.

It felt impossible. So you resorted to pushing him to do something about it instead. You were sure he liked you, but you kept losing hope after seeing zero reactions. You’ve cuddled up on the couch with him wearing only his big shirt, worn showier clothing when the two of you met, and gotten a lot touchier with him. He had the resolve of an iron wall. 

“Are you sure you’ve done everything? I’m assuming everything besides telling him how you feel, right?” She said with a judgemental voice, rolling her eyes. “You’ve ‘accidentally’ sent him a suggestive picture and pretended you were sending it to someone else but then cracked and said you were sending it to me?”

You looked at her with awe as she recounted the exact events from just a few weeks ago. “Those tarot cards must be seeping into your brain or something, because that was a crazy read…” You covered your chest dramatically, “Have you been stalking me?”

Tara flicked your forehead, “You’re just so predictable.” The two of you laughed before she continued to prod at your love life. “He must have reacted a little when you said you were sending it to someone else though…right? I was watching and his eyes twitched a little when you talked to another guy.” 

You grabbed your phone and showed her the messages, omitting the picture since you were too embarrassed. “I guess he did…that’s why I folded so quickly. He’s kind of just like that though…I don’t think-” Her hand in front of your face stopped you.

“Your chances aren’t zero, at least! Just be a little more friendly towards someone…one of our coworkers is bound to bring a cute friend to the trip…Caleb seems very territorial, he’s bound to crack at that.” She snapped her fingers like she had just solved a case.

The two of you would have finished the conversation and maybe come up with more ways to stop being single, but Caleb had called you over. You were so invested in the conversation that you didn’t even realize everyone had already started playing. 

You instinctively grabbed a water bottle and ran it over to Caleb with a huff. “Woah, you’re being a good little pipsqueak. Takes me back to when we were in high school and you were ready to outrun all those girls to give me water.” He chuckled before unscrewing the bottle to drink.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re the one who made me do that to avoid having to choose whose drink to take.” You waved him off. “How’s getting to know everyone? You’re as popular as ever.” You looked around and caught the eyes of one of the strangers. “Hm.” You accidentally hummed out loud. You were no stranger to wandering eyes, and you could easily tell when someone looked at you with interest. Which was why you were sure that Caleb was interested, but strangers were a lot easier to crack than a childhood best friend.

Caleb followed your eyes and looked at the guy. You usually hate to say it because it felt mean, but he was nowhere near as attractive as Caleb, but he was definitely not ugly. “I’m starting to think you didn’t come down here to see me.” He spouted.

“Huh? You’re being weird.” You pushed his shoulder before a small smile grew on your face. Caleb got jealous at the smallest things, but regardless, it made you proud when you were able to get on his nerves. “I’m just…looking.” You pushed past him and walked over to the group with your friends to attempt at conversation with the unfamiliar face. “I might head back soon, so I just wanted to make sure we’re all set for next weekend?” You looked around at everyone who nodded, making small chats with some of them until you found the window to talk to the random person.

“Hey.” The guy said, holding his hand out with a basketball under his other arm.

Caleb looked upset in your peripheral and your smile grew bigger, making it seem like you were smiling at the guy in front of you instead of him. You took his hand and shook it. “Hey. Are you joining us for the camping trip…?” You paused, waiting for his name.

“Dan.” His hand still held onto yours, his dark hair shined in the sun with a little bit of sweat and his green eyes piercing into yours. “I wasn’t going to at first, but maybe I’ll accept the invite now that I know you’ll be there.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how corny his flirting style was. You slipped yourself from his grip and pretended to receive a text message. “You’re funny. Maybe I’ll see you then.” You said bye to the group and attempted to run past a clearly disgruntled Caleb before he grabbed your upper arm. You pulled a clueless look while you looked up at him. “Yeah? Did you want to stay a bit longer?”

“What was that just now?” His eyebrows were knitted together and his lips were pressed into a line, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

“What was what?” You suppressed a giggle, mentally thanking Tara for the new route to push his buttons.

He squinted down at you, giving you a chance to catch a glimpse of Colonel Caleb again, making you squirm in his hold. “Are you thinking about dating now?” His eyes flitted between you and the group of guys still playing basketball. 

Your eyes narrowed at him. “Who said I haven’t been?”

–

Caleb didn’t bring up what happened on the court again after that. He was more focused on putting you back into the habit of things when the two of you got back to your place. He played the same movie the two of you always watched while he cooked up your favorite meal. It almost made you suspicious and think that your plan failed again, but the glances at your phone assured you that he was still bothered. 

“Are you sure you can leave the Fleet for a few days to go camping with me, Caleb?” You asked him as you grabbed the plates from the cabinets. 

He watched as you easily grabbed them from a higher shelf with a questioning look. “Taking a leave of absence for emergencies is normal. I took care of business anyways, I deserve a break, don’t I?” He smugly said, turning down the music you put on.

“What’s an emergency?” You asked as you set down the plates on the counter, playfully punching his left arm. His arm somehow felt firmer than before, making you blush slightly. It was so easy for you to treat Caleb like you did back in high school, friendly and kind of mean. But then certain things brought you back to realizing how the two of you were treading a really thin and blurry line. You were also led to believe that it was only thin and blurry for you, considering his lack of action.

All he did was shrug. “Spending time with you. And your friends.” You didn’t miss how he sounded just a bit bitter, turning his eyes back to the steaming pot. You decided not to push further, knowing that he was reaching a point of being overprotective that you usually ended up arguing over. 

As the two of you ate dinner on the couch, chatting about work, the doorbell rang. You instantly knew that it was your package. “Oh my god it’s here!” You cheered, handing Caleb your plate before running to the door. 

“I hope that’s a present for me…” He joked, placing your dinners on the coffee table.

In a way, I guess… You thought to yourself as you placed the box on the dining table to open. “It’s new clothes! I needed a new bathing suit for the trip, but the store had a huge sale.” You chewed your lip and then turned to look at Caleb’s reaction. 

His eyes were glued to the TV, but you could tell he was itching to comment on what you said.

“I’m gonna try some on, be right back!” You exclaimed, taking the box back to your room.

You bought about five pairs of bathing suits just because of the sale so you tried them all on. None of them were that showy or sexy, considering you bought them for your work trip, but they were pretty nonetheless. You took pictures of each one of them to send to Tara for a second opinion, but as you opened your messages, another thought came into mind. Your thumb hovered over Caleb’s contact and you sent every photo to him instead.

You: You like? :3

You let out a small giggle, ignoring the rush in your stomach. The first time you attempted the ‘wrong message’ trick, he was in Skyhaven. You were excited to see the reaction in person. The photos you sent weren’t too seductive since you actually did send them to Tara, but it was enough to make the gears turn in his head. You put on a cover-up skirt just to see how it would look and then there was a knock on your bedroom door. 

With a deep breath to hide your amusement, you walked to open it, still in a bikini top. “Yeah?”

His eyes widened as they scanned you, and you could almost hear him pry his eyes back up to your face. Caleb faced his phone screen towards you. “I’m assuming these weren’t for me? You would’ve just walked out of here if you really wanted my opinion…so who?” You swore there was steam coming out of his ears.

You pretended to squint at the screen and then pretended to be shocked. “God, I did it again. Sorry!” You fixed the strap of your top, adjusting it dramatically. “Just asking around for an opinion, don’t worry. Lemme get changed and I’ll come back out.” You tried to close the door, but his hand stopped it.

“Who?” His voice was stern, and you were taken back to the interrogation room. “If you wanted an opinion, I’m right here.” He stepped forward, leaning down until you could feel his breath on your face. 

The adrenaline from sending him photos of yourself was still coursing through your veins so you tilted your head up at him, wanting to keep pushing him over the edge. “A friend. But since you want to give me your opinion that bad…” You untied the knot of your cover-up skirt and stepped back, letting it fall to your ankles and exposing your bikini bottoms. “Is it cute?” You twirled a bit before facing the mirror again, looking at yourself with a hand on your hip. “I have other ones, but I think this is my favorite…”

You could hear his breath hitch before answering. “It looks good, pip.” He was about to close your door and leave before you stopped him. 

“Where are you going? You don’t want to give me your opinion on my other ones?” You smirked at him.

He cleared his throat. “I’m still sticky from earlier and cooking for you is exhausting work. I’m going to take a shower.”

Once the door was shut, you let out a sigh of relief. It was another failed mission, but you were sure he was bound to crack soon. The belief was strengthened once you entered the bathroom after his shower and the lack of steam signified one thing: a cold shower.

–

The following weekdays felt agonizingly slow since all of you were excited for the trip. You, Tara, and your colleague Andrew sat outside of the association during lunch, basking in the sun after a long morning of paperwork. 

“My friend said he was going to join the camping trip because of a pretty girl. So which one of you flirted with him at the park?” Andrew narrowed his eyes at the two of you, waving his fork around.

Tara laughed before you nudged her with your shoulder. “Flirting is a little overboard…but maybe tell him I’m not interested or something. I don’t want to waste his time…” You awkwardly said.

“Caleb?” Andrew asked, his eyebrow quirked up at you.

Before you could act surprised or offended, Tara clapped her hands, proud. “Andrew. I knew you were an observant one.” She waved down your other friend Simone to join you. “I can’t believe you didn’t come the other day. Our little friend here had her friend-person show up.”

“Shut up, you guys met Caleb?” Simone asked, slamming her lunch bag on the table. “Is he coming on the trip?”

Andrew and Tara responded in unison, “Yep.”

“So…do you need two tents? Or just one?” Simone smirked at you.

You buried your face in your hands. “Wow guys, I think I’m coming down with something. Maybe I won’t be able to make it this weekend.” You said, muffled.

“Yeah, yeah. Tough it out.” You could hear Tara roll her eyes. “Come on, let me do a card reading. My palms are itching to see it.”

You pulled your face out of your hands and already saw her shuffling the cards. “Please, no. Or at least don’t tell me. It’ll make me either too confident or too insecure and then I’ll never get a boyfriend…” Your phone chimed with Caleb’s name glowing on the lock screen for everyone to see.

“Speak of the devil.” Andrew said, amused. 

Caleb: I never answered you. I like the second one.

You: ?

Caleb: Pictures.

You: Oh. Thanks. I like that one too

Caleb had a habit of leaving you voice messages instead of just texting. He thought that if you didn’t hear his voice while the two of you were apart, you would think that he disappeared again. “Don’t wait up for me tomorrow, pipsqueak. Work is a little busy, so I’ll just drive myself to the campsite. Don’t miss me too much.”

You chewed on your lip as you dropped your phone from your ear, wondering what the Fleet was up to, but in the end, you trusted whatever Caleb had to do. Your chest thumped with excitement as he still planned to go out of his way just to spend time with you, despite his overprotective ways probably spurring most of it on.

When you got home that day, you opened up your laptop to an instant video call from him as if he knew you were home. 

“Hey, pipsqueak!” He beamed at the camera, clearly in his office still at the Fleet HQ. “You never replied back to me, are you upset?”

You shook your head, bringing your laptop over to the kitchen so you could get a drink. “I just got busy. I feel a little bad that you’re going to have to get all the way there alone, though. I was looking forward to messing with you while you were asleep on the bus!” You joked. 

“If anyone was going to fall asleep first, it would have been you. I think you  should be more grateful. I bet I could’ve done anything, and you wouldn’t notice a thing.” Something about the way he said it made your tummy flip again. You didn’t know if it was his voice or the fact that he was still in his uniform.

You brought your laptop back to your room with your drink and mindlessly chatted about things. “Hold on, I need to change.” You said, moving just out of the camera to slip into an old shirt of his and removing your work pants. When you came back onto screen, you could see his reddened ears peek from under his hat. He had always had the same reactions to you being in his clothes.

“I’m starting to think you raid my closet before going back home after staying the night at my place, pip.” His gloved hands rubbed his chin as if deeply thinking.

You shrugged. “I just feel a lot more comfortable in your shirts.” You sniffed the fabric. “It smells like you. Very comforting.” It was a bit embarrassing for you to admit it, but you were getting tired of waiting for him to be more forward.

His eyes widened at your remark, “You’ve been testing me these past few days, haven’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your phone buzzed with Tara’s call. “I’ll call you back later, I need to get this.” A small smile played on your lips with the schemes brewing in your head. “Hey, Dan!” You said out loud before hanging up on Caleb.

“Cheap move.” Tara said, instantly knowing what you were up to. “I feel like I’m watching an old high school series, you’re cringe!”

“Please, you’re eating this up. I just…like seeing him kind of jealous. Poor Dan, though.” You laid yourself out on bed, feeling the buzz of your phone with messages pouring in, no doubt from Caleb. With a soft laugh, you asked why Tara called.

“Just needed help with what to wear, turn the cameras on!” She squealed.

Later that night, you got another call from Caleb, suddenly reminding you that you never responded to the flood of messages asking about who called you. 

“Caleb-” You were about to explain that you got sidetracked until he started babbling.

“I keep thinking you’re messing with me, but I don’t know how much more I can take. So please, put me out of my misery and tell me. Are you seeing someone?” He sounded like he just exhaled after holding in his breath for a long time. “I can’t stand the idea of someone else…” You heard a door slam from his end and a heavy breath taken. 

You thought that once you had pushed his buttons, you’d laugh, but his reaction made you feel heavy on the shoulders. You wondered why he kept his distance romantically all the time, but it was slowly coming to you that he was just as scared as you were at first. Maybe even more. “Caleb…I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Then who is he?” There was a desperation in his voice that made you feel a pang in your chest. “Open the door.”

“What are you-” You sat up from your bed, confused before the doorbell rang. “Caleb-” He hung up before you could even ask if it was him. You dropped your phone onto your sheets, slightly annoyed that he asked so many questions without letting you answer properly, but you were too busy being confused. 

Another doorbell rang throughout your home as you put on your slippers and ran to the door. When you opened up the door, Caleb was leaning his hand against the frame of your door, looking down at you with desperate violet eyes. He was in his uniform still, just like you had seen him a few hours before. Your name left his lips in a whisper. You didn’t miss how his eyes scanned the shoe rack for any alien pairs, nor did you miss the silence he held as if he was waiting for another person’s voice to chime in from your living room again.

“You…Caleb…did you come here all the way from Skyhaven? I thought work was busy?” Your eyes were wide and you couldn’t tell if the shiver up your spine was from the cool air of your building prickling your bare thighs or the initial cold shoulder from him. 

“I can’t stay, but I just needed to see you. I needed to…” He pushed into your home, closing the door behind him, gently. You only stepped back enough to give him some space, but his gloved hand came up to your cheek, cradling your face to look up at him. Caleb’s eyebrows were knitted together with worry. “You’re not seeing anyone? You don’t plan on it?”

All you could do was shake your head in his hands, reaching up to hold onto his fingers while holding onto his gaze. 

He pressed his forehead against yours, letting out a sigh of relief with his eyes closed. A few silent moments passed, as if he drank in your presence, before he spoke again. “You were so…worked up about me being different after what happened. I kept trying to be the Caleb you knew all these years and keep our relationship as it had always been. Your closest friend.” The last word came out more bitter than he probably intended, but you understood. He pulled back just enough to look at you, still holding onto your face. “But if that means that there’s a chance that I lose you to someone else by maintaining this distance? This title?”

Your lips parted, breath hitched. You couldn’t help fluttering your gaze from his yearning eyes to his quivering lips.

“I can’t hold back anymore…” He leaned in slowly, scanning your face for approval.

“About time…” You muttered. Your hand moved away from his hand and to his collar, pulling him in to close the distance. It took him a moment before he kissed you back, like he was unsure if it was really happening. You weren’t sure either. 

You’ve had your fair share of kisses from random college parties and people you thought you were interested in. Yet none of them felt as heated as the first one you shared with Caleb. When you watched in movies and read in books that a kiss felt passionate and electric, it never clicked until that moment. 

Caleb’s hands slid down your face, to your shoulders, holding you close against him; almost lifting you up to reach him better. And then without leaving your lips, he rummaged with his gloves behind your back before holding onto your neck. “Need…to…feel…all of you…” He muttered against you in between each kiss, the movement spreading your lips apart. His tongue darted in, exploring every surface of you that it could reach.

You tried walking backward to the couch, but only ended up bumping into a wall. As if the two of you shared minds, he gripped on your thighs and lifted you up. Your legs crossing behind his back, and your arms locking around his neck to hold yourself up with the help of the wall. The kiss got deeper, and he pressed body into you impossibly closer. All until the air got thicker and you two couldn’t breathe anymore.

He pulled away reluctantly, breathing as heavy as you were, before resting his forehead on your shoulder. “You’re so…mean to me.” He mumbled, the playfulness in his voice slowly coming back.

You scoffed. “You’re the one who ignored every move I tried to pull on you.” There was an unmistakable muscle poking you on your ass as he pinned you up against the wall, and you were worried the damp spot growing your panties would seep through his thick uniform.

“I was scared…” He muttered, turning his face to press kisses into your neck. “I wondered…if I kept you like this…would you think I’m being too selfish?” And then he looked up at you, his eyes holding a pleading stare. “But it’s only us now…so is it okay?”

You nodded and then cradled his face with one of your hands, bringing him in for a gentle kiss. “It’s okay to be selfish, Caleb. I’ll be selfish too.”

You could tell he wanted to go further, but he eventually put you back down on your feet. “I have to go…I would stay if I could. I’d…” He pressed his lips into a thin line as he scanned your face and body, surely seeing how fucked out your eyes were and how tightly you pressed your legs together. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’ll take care of you next time, yeah?”

You gave him a soft nod before watching him pick up his gloves from the floor and then leave through your front door.

–

You couldn’t help but feel more disappointed about the camping trip. It meant that the next time you saw Caleb was in a group with a lot of people. Which also meant that part two of the heated kiss would have had to wait.

“You’ve sighed while looking out the window like an old music video for the past hour.” Tara nudged you, flipping up the eye mask she was wearing for the long ride. “I thought you said you finally made it!” She whisper-yelled.

Another sigh left your lips. “I just miss him.” It was the only safe-for-work answer you could muster. 

“Oh, girl. Don’t be too PDA on this trip, I’m begging you. Think about us single people.” She teased before putting her hand atop yours. “I’m so happy the two of you grew a pair.” She smiled at you warmly and then flipped down her eye mask again to fall back asleep.

You decided to follow her suit and go back to sleep before you continued to think about it.

The set-up process for camping was more hectic than you thought. You had a couple of people on the grill to get food ready whilst everyone else tried to get their tents up, along with you. And since you were the leader, everyone kept going over to you for help. Thankfully you had practiced setting up the tent beforehand, so you were more than capable of helping everyone else. 

Still, you were just one person. 

“Hey, can you help me with this…it won’t-” One of your colleagues came up to you, but before they finished, a wide hand came up from behind you to grab the tent-part.

“I got it.” A deep familiar voice said.

You turned with excitement to see Caleb, already looking at you with a warm smile. “Caleb!”

“Hey, pipsqueak. You’re hardworking as always, why don’t you take a break.” He swung a small camping chair over with his foot as he tinkered with the tangled rods of the tent. 

You felt an invisible weight on top of you, practically forcing you to sit down. Sparks of blue and orange could be seen in the air before the weight disappeared and you looked over at Caleb who smugly glanced at you. His use of his evol on you made you shiver, his indirect touch. Flashbacks to the kiss hit you like a truck and you couldn’t stop staring at his lips as he talked with everyone else.

“You’re drooling.” Simone’s voice behind you said softly, just loud enough for you to hear. You glared at her and she stood back up, glancing at you and Caleb. “We’re all going to hike down to the lake later for a dip, are you two coming?” She pointed at you two with her grill tongs.

Tara chimed in from the grill, “Please, she’s probably tired from practically setting up most of these tents. She might need a nap. And her friend-person might need a break from work too. We’ll be here for a few days, you two should rest!”

You cleared your throat awkwardly, trying to see Caleb’s reaction. But he just smiled like he could already tell how you were feeling. “I might take a nap after we eat, but maybe I’ll come down a little after you guys…I’ll text you!” You fidgetted with your inflatable pillow, ignoring how your cheeks reddened, waiting for Caleb’s response. 

“Me too. It was a bit busy at work and traffic was heavy. I’ll walk with her if anything, but I’ll mingle more with everyone tomorrow.” Caleb replied, thumping your knee with his shin.

As more tents went up, less people came up to you two and soon it was time to eat. A lot of people were still curious about Caleb and he became in charge of the early dinner entertainment, at first. You didn’t realize you were sulking at the lack of attention until he poked you with the other end of his fork. “Don’t think I can’t see how you’re frowning with your eyes.”

You looked around to see everyone preoccupied with each other or heading back to their tents to change for the lake. “You’re so popular…” You mumbled, standing up to toss your trash away to the bag tied up in a tree. Only someone tied it too far up for you that you struggled. 

Then his chest pressed up against your back, grabbing your trash to toss it for you. “I can’t help it…What should I do then?”

You hoped he couldn’t feel your heart thump from your back before you turned around with a mischievous smile. You poked his chest and pushed him a step back away from you, ignoring how firm it felt under your fingertip. “Easy. I’ll just keep you locked up at home from now on. Then no one can see you. You’ll be mine, and you won’t belong to anyone else.” It was a joke, but something deep inside of you wanted to mean it.

Caleb looked flustered, a choked gasp leaving his lips. And then his eyebrows knitted together like he was offended, with a small smile on his lips. “You can say that? But when I said I’d fake your funeral, I became ingenuine and mean? You’re being unfair.” He brushed your finger away and crossed his arms. “Buuuut…don’t say things like that in public next time.”

You tiptoed to poke his cheek. “You’re blushing. No one even heard me.” You glanced around. The warmth underneath your finger made you place your whole palm against his cheek, and then his forehead. “You’re…really warm. Are you sick?”

He took your hand and lowered it from his face. “Surely you know who’s actually responsible. And I’m not worried about other people hearing you. I’m just…I can’t do much like this. And you’re pushing my buttons again, princess.”

You were sure you mirrored his warmth, feeling your face flush and ears tingle. The new nickname made you break eye-contact. “I’m going to take a nap…your tent is next to mine. I set-it up earlier with a sleeping bag and stuff.” You wiggled out of his grip and pushed past him to walk to your tent.

The chatter of everyone heading to the lake got farther and farther as you got comfy atop your sleeping bag, until all you heard was your heavy breathing, his shuffling in the tent beside you, and the sounds of nature. 

A few moments passed before he broke the silence. “Are you going to keep pretending I’m not here, pip?”

You sighed and shook the nerves off of yourself and focused on what you had been yearning for for so long. A small idea popped into your mind and you decided to change into one of your swimsuits. A simple red two-piece that could easily be taken off. You climbed out of your tent and went over to his. “Ding dong.”

Caleb eagerly unzipped it, looking up at you while he was on his knees. His eyes widened as he looked at what you were wearing.

You looked down at him, one hand on your hip and the other fixing your hair. “Didn’t you bother my naptime because you wanted to join your fanclub down at the lake?” You yelped as he pulled you down into his tent, expecting a thump against his chest, but the familiar weightlessness of his evol made it a softer landing. 

“Really? You want me to leave you alone? How grand. You’re messing around again…” He muttered into your ear, tickling your neck. “Do you really want to go down there?” His hand moved down your spine as you laid on top of him, his heart picking up the pace against your ear and his skin getting even warmer. “Unlucky for you, but I’m not gonna run away now.”

“I-I guess not…” You muttered, lifting yourself up with your hands planted beside his head. His hand continued to move down your body, resting on the skin right above the hem of your bikini bottoms. “Do you actually like me? More than friends? Do you mean this?”

“I’ve always wanted to claim every part of you for myself.” He planted his feet on the ground underneath you, forcing your legs to straddle him; your heat right on top of his growing bulge. “Can’t you feel it?”

You lifted yourself from his lap and squeezed both sides of his face with one hand, making him pucker his lips. “I don’t want this to just be physical. I mean it, by the way. I’ll be the one to build a maze. Don’t think I’m not capable.”

He shook his head out of your grip and his eyes turned darker. “Don’t use my own threats against me, princess. It makes me wanna mess you up even more.” Both of his hands landed on both cheeks of your ass, pressing you back down on his crotch with a grunt.

“We can get caught…” You muttered, biting your lip to avoid making a noise.

“We can let them know.” He muttered, reaching up to press a kiss on your lips. Gentle and loving compared to the way his hips were grinding up to your heat.

“I still have to work with them, y’know.” A choked reply managed to come out of you, your hips twitching as you felt him.

Caleb flipped the two of you over, his hand cradling your head before it hit the sleeping bag. “Quit. I can take care of us.” He heaved out, his hands exploring every exposed inch of you, his fingers teasing under every hem of fabric. “Fuck, I’ll take care of everything. You’re beautiful.”

Your chest moved up and down dramatically from his touch. “I like being a Hunter…”

“I like you. A lot…” He said, like he was amazed. His face was in total awe as he took in your presence. “I waited for so long…I can’t believe I actually have you like this.” His hips thrusted into you, earning a loud moan which he quickly covered up with his own lips. “I want to mess you up just a little more…please?”

You nodded, needing more friction between your legs. 

“Say it. Out loud.” He commanded in the voice that made your tummy flip. “What do you want, pipsqueak?”

You scrunched your nose as he kissed down your neck. You felt the flat of his tongue lick back up to your ear, waiting. “D-don’t call me that while you have me like this…”

He chuckled by your ear, his hand slipping down to your heat, his thumb pressing to your clit as you let out a hiss. “What do you want me to call you then?” He asked with a kitten lick to your ear. “Princess?” He rubbed a small circle to your covered clit, making you squirm. “Baaabyy?” He questioned, dragged out. Another circle.

“Fuck, Caleb…Anything. Just…stop teasing me.” You begged.

He got back up from on top of you, kneeling in between your legs again. His thumb was still circling your clothed clit. Caleb looked down at you smugly, despite the growing tent in his pants. “Me? Teasing you?” He chuckled at how you let out a whine. “Those photos you sent…they drove me crazy. This whole week…” His fingers finally pushed your panties to the side and touched your naked core. “You’re soaking wet, baby. How long have you been like this?” 

Your breathing got heavier and your hands snapped down to his wrist, guiding him to touch you more, push his fingers inside of you. But he was stronger and resisting to give you what you wanted yet.

After a few agonizing moments of him slowly running his fingers through your slick folds, he let go of you and unbuttoned his pants, finally releasing his cock.

You whimpered and then gasped. “Holy shit…you’re huge.” You accidentally let slip out of your mouth as you stared at him. You couldn’t help it, it practically jumped out the moment he pushed down his boxers. Your eyes flitted back up to him, hoisting yourself up by your elbows. “W-what did you do? With my pictures?”

The tip was flushed pink and it was shiny as he leaked with pre-cum. “What do you think…?”

“Show me.” You took one of your hands and kneaded at your own breast as you looked at him. “Please?”

Caleb’s cheeks and ears were red and his eyes almost looked glossed-over; half-lidded and filled with desire. “Yeah? Since you asked so nicely…” His hand went back down to your core, scooping up your wetness before taking the same hand to wrap around his cock. Languidly stroking it as he looked at you, hissing. “I know you did it on purpose…You keep- ah, fuck…teasing me. Messing with me. Is this what you wanted to see?”

You nodded fervently. “Fuck, yes.” Your hand trailed down to your clit, rubbing it over your bottoms as you watched him touch himself. “Been dreaming about seeing you like this…” You bit your lip up at him.

“Shit, I could cum just like this…” He stroked himself faster, the sounds becoming lewder and wetter. He let go himself with a heavy breath and licked his palm before you could even stop him. “You taste so good, princess…”

“Caleb…I can’t wait anymore…” You whined, rubbing yourself faster.

“Me neither. Hold on.” He zipped himself back up and grabbed a shirt from his duffel bag, forcing your hand away from yourself. He made work of slipping his shirt onto you and then opening the tent door, making sure no one was outside. 

You didn’t realize how thick the air was inside the tent until the cool breeze from outside made you shiver. “Where are we going?”

“I drove here.” Caleb answered, exiting the tent.

“Your car is tiny…” You mumbled, taking the hand he extended out to you to help you out.

“I’m dying to fuck you, and you’re already complaining, princess?” He let out a small chuckle, helping you with your slippers. “I brought a bigger car…” Caleb zipped the tent back up and started walking to where he parked, a bit further away from the site. The pace was fast, but you were just as impatient as he was.

“Did you plan this?” You scoffed.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t think about it either.” He tightened his grip on your hand, finally making it to his car.

The black SUV had extremely tinted windows, almost like it belonged to a government official who needed extreme privacy. Not that you were complaining. Caleb instantly opened up the backseat, pulling you towards him to kiss you. Sloppy but deep, just enough to take your breath away again. “I thought about taking you in that tent…but the risk of other people hearing you…I can’t do that.” He pushed your hips to sit in the backseat and then further back, enough to let him slip in between you again before closing the door with a slam. “Are you okay with this?”

You took his face with both of your hands again, kissing him instead of replying. But he wasn’t satisfied.

“I need you to say it, princess.” He inhaled you as he kissed your cheek and neck.

“Please, I want you Caleb. I need you.” You pleaded. 

He sat up to take off his shirt. The one on him and the one on you, tossing both to the front. But instead of taking his pants off like you’d hope, he unravelled your top straps and flipped the bikini down, exposing your chest. He took one with his hand and the other with his mouth. 

Your back arched into his mouth with a loud moan. The feeling of tongue swirling on your nipple made your head dizzy. “C-Caleb…Touch me more, please…”

“Gladly…” He muttered against your peaked bud, his lips vibrating against it. Caleb kissed down from your breast, his hand still kneading the other gently. And then down to your underwear.  He placed kisses on your covered clit before grinding his nose against it, inhaling deeply. 

The action would’ve made you deeply embarrassed, except you were too focused on how his hot tongue lapped you through the thin fabric. “H-holy fuck…T-take it off, please. I need more.” One hand shot to his hair and the other tried to unravel the loop the side of your bottoms, but his free hand stopped you. 

“You look so good in red, baby. Be patient for me, please?” He interlocked his fingers with yours as he pulled your bottoms to the side with his teeth and his tongue made bare contact with your clit. He was loud and he was passionate, drinking you up like he was lost in the desert. “You taste so good, I can’t believe I waited this long…” He said, groaning against you.

“I-I need more…Caleb,” you squeaked out in between your moans. Despite wanting to move on, your grip on his head couldn’t let go and pushed him even further into you. You could feel his tongue fuck into you, and your back arched as his thumb caressed your nipple. 

The slurping and deep inhales against your core made you shiver and brought you closer over the edge. “I know, baby. Just cum like this for me once and I’ll give you what you want, I promise. Be a good girl, yeah?” He said before diving into you again. 

You could feel the heat of ecstasy in your lower stomach and the tips of your toes and fingers. It didn’t take long before you were gushing around his tongue, screaming his name. Loud enough to make him worried that the hand that was on your boob was suddenly stuffed into your mouth, muffling your moans. But you took it, sucking on his digits sloppily as he continued to eat you through your orgasm.

“Fuck I can’t wait anymore.” He said, finally sitting up, letting go of your hand but keeping the other in your mouth. Caleb slipped down his pants just enough to free his cock again, redder and throbbing more than before. He took the hand out of your mouth and used your spit to stroke himself again. “Can you grab the condoms in the pocket of that seat next to you…” He sheepishly asked.

For some reason, your stomach dropped. “I don’t want you to use one…” You said all of a sudden, still catching your breath.

“You’re going to be the death of me, princess…are you sure?” He asked, his other hand teasing at your entrance before he pushed two fingers in, scissoring them in and out.

You were still sensitive from cumming, his fingers feeling like electricity as they moved inside of you. “I want to feel all of you.” You begged, your hand reaching down to touch his tip.

He winced, pulling his fingers out and rubbing your thigh.

“Just fuck me already…I can take it. I can take you.” You unravelled your underwear and slipped it out from underneath you, throwing it over the driver’s seat. You brought your legs up just enough to give him a full view of yourself, watching as he devoured you with his eyes.

Caleb held one of your thighs up, bringing your ankle up to rest on his shoulder. His cock landed onto your core, the thick length feeling heavy and hot in-between your folds. He slapped the tip on your clit lightly, cursing under his breath as you squirmed against him. Then he dragged the tip down to your entrance. “Slap me if it hurts too much…”

“I feel like you’d like th-” You tried to tease him, but you felt a flash of pain and pleasure as he pushed into you.

“You’re so tight…and wet. It’s better than anything I’ve ever imagined, baby, fuck.” He rested his shoulder on your shin that was on his shoulder, looking at you like he was already fucked out. “I don’t think I can last…long.”

“Cum inside of me.” You said gasped. “I won’t last long either…”

“Don’t say things like that…” His hips stuttered, thrusting into you deeper. The movement knocked the wind out of both of you.

It took a few moments before he finally was fully sheathed in you, taking each inch slow as he kissed your leg and rubbed your clit with his thumb in an attempt to relax you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, heaving.

“W-want you to move…fuck me, please.” The way his thumb moved around your clit was already bringing you close to another orgasm. Then you felt him pull out halfway before slamming back into you, and the dam of your sanity broke and you came again. Your hands grasped at his forearms, nails raking his skin, and back arching up from the leather seats. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” 

“You feel so good cumming around me, I…” You felt him emptying inside of you, a hand moving to your shoulder to press you deeper onto him, locking you in place as he came. “So good for me…no one else can have you…Only me.”

“J-just for you. All yours…yours.” You babbled, feeling lightheaded from euphoria. 

"What's your handle?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at you before putting the bottle up on a high shelf, like he already decided to save it for something else. He pulled out his phone next, typing something into it just for his eyes to flick back up expectantly for your answer.

You blinked at him for a second, glossy lips parted before you realized that most likely looked stupid.

"Oh, like on Instagram or-?"

"Any of them," Gojo laughed again, pouring you a beer from the tap on the counter before walking back over with an easy smile.

"I, um, don't use social media," You admitted with a shrug, hating how much of a loser it made you sound like. You sipped your beer instead, cringing at how bitter it was and still drinking more so you didn't seem rude.

"Seriously?" He cocked a brow up, scrunching his nose like he couldn't believe it.

"I don't really have many friends," You mumbled, barely keeping yourself from frowning at thought you didn't actually have any friends. "Just thought it'd be kinda embarrassing to create an account if I don't have people to add."

"I could be your first," Gojo gladly offered. He didn't miss a beat. Didn't make you feel like a loner. Just volunteered.

You opened your mouth to stammer through a response before a warm hand suddenly pressed against your spine.

"Hey," Geto murmured in your ear, soft and smooth, sinking into your skin.

You froze. Brain malfunctioning at the warmth and how close he was, lips grazing just barely against your skin.

"Hi," You breathed.

He sighed, but it was more of a calm exhale, not holding any disappointment or disapproval. You looked back at him just to pause again at the way he was looking at you, half-lidded and hazy, loosened up by however many drinks he had.

"Let's put your purse somewhere safe," He gestured down at it, taking you upstairs and pulling out a key from his pocket to unlock a door, grabbing your purse and walking inside with it before coming back out to lock it again.

"Oh, um, thank you," You breathed.

Geto didn't say anything else, but you let his hand guide you back out into another living room, smaller than the first, but with less people crowding around. He took the seat in the corner of the couch, pulling you down next to him, one of your legs half on his lap, his hand over your skirt.

"Satoru texted me that you were here," He said, all that confidence he just had simmering down to something softer, more unsure now that you were almost alone. "You could've called me."

"I didn't want to interrupt if you were talking to your friends," You mumbled shyly, glancing around the few other people too drunk to pay attention to you.

Paying Geto didn't make you feel like less like an inconvenience to him.

Even if he was in a good mood tonight.

"You're supposed to be my girlfriend," He reminded you with a chuckle.

"Oh," You laughed with him, but even that sounded clumsy. You hurried to finish the rest of your drink, leaning over to place it on the edge of the coffee table. "Yeah."

Geto was just a good enough actor to sell the scene for the both of you.

"I've, um, never had a boyfriend before," You confessed, not sure what saying it would do, but hoping it'd make you look less inept rather than more.

He frowned at that, but before he could say anything, Gojo made his second appearance, leaning over to wrap an arm around each of you and squeezing you together.

"You look good together," He teased, winking at Geto.

You wondered if he meant it, or if maybe it was some inside joke. One you were secretly the butt of.

"Don't you have some sorority girl to make out with?" Geto rolled his eyes, brushing his arm off with a light huff.

"Relax," Gojo hummed, the dim yellow lights bouncing around in his eyes, carefree, shoulders rolled back like there wasn't anything weighing them down. "I just had a small suggestion."

"Sure you do," Geto dryly replied, his hand on your thigh suddenly squeezing. Probably just for show.

"There's a closet over there with your name still on it," Gojo goaded, almost sloshing his drink over the rim of his solo cup pointing over to a small wooden door.

"What?" You didn't get it.

"See how cute she is? You've never played seven minutes in heaven, have you?" Gojo's teasing wasn't mean-spirited, it was oddly sincere, in his own way. His attempt at being considerate rather than condescending.

"I haven't," You admitted, chewing on your lip.

Did it seem desperate?

It wasn't like you actually wanted to be stuck in a confined space with a guy you knew didn't like you.

You just sort of expected Geto to shut it down.

But then Geto was grumbling and getting up, guiding you over to it while Gojo cheered and drew every state that wasn't already focused on you over.

The door shutting felt like the lid to your coffin closing.

The light hanging overhead was white but dim, barely giving off enough light to dispel the shadows..

You hadn't pictured being locked in a closet with your pretend boyfriend to be so embarrassing.

He was still glancing at the thick door, his mind still on the other side of it. You pushed aside the shoes littering the floor to sit down against the wall, underneath all the coats hanging up. Knees to your chest, not particularly caring if Geto got a peek of the lacy panties underneath your skirt when he was uninterested in the rest of you.

You studied the floor, counting the scuffs in the wooden grain just so you wouldn't have to look up at him. You were surprised when he sat down in front of you, glancing at him with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?" He murmured.

"I-I just figured-" You started to stammer only to abruptly shut yourself up when he reached out to graze his thumb against your cheek. It wasn't adoring. Not dazed or dripping in desire. Just curiosity. Like you were a puzzle he couldn't quite piece together.

He was softer like this. All those harsh edges and high-strung worries you shared dulled by the alcohol in his system. What was in yours had only left that faint tingle of warmth in your chest and stomach, but when he tilted his head to the side and stared at you, you couldn't help but question how much of that feeling was from him.

"We still have six minutes left," Geto shrugged, scrutinizing the way your mouth was parted in shock, how wide your eyes were when he leaned in and brushed his lips against your own.

"Geto-" You breathed when he pulled away, his nose still grazing against yours.

"You should at least get the full party experience," He murmured, pulling back and swiping his thumb over your bottom lip.

"You don't have-" You started to dismiss, but then he was leaning in again, the taste of beer and cherry lip gloss on your own lips and something faintly sweet on his.

And then he was tugging you into his lap, not really enough for you to actually straddle him, but your legs awkwardly swinging over to one side and his arm wrapped around your back to almost cradle you against his chest.

His tongue tracing your teeth, exploring your mouth, while his palm pressed down through your thin shirt, the heat of it practically branding you. Geto took the lead like he did with everything else, sucking on your bottom lip before leaving a trail of soft kisses over your jaw and down your throat, chuckling at the way his teeth skimming over your tendons made you gasp.

You had to remind yourself you were paying him for this.

That as much as it tasted real, he never would've touched you if you hadn't paid him.

You stiffened in his lap, and he immediately noticed, pausing to look at your face to see what was wrong. "You okay?"

"Yeah," You lied.

You didn't want to ruin the moment - even if it was fake.

He went back to kissing your neck, his sturdy fingers taking your jaw and tilting it so he had better access, his canines sinking in as he sucked hard and you squirmed in his arms.

"Just got a remind them you're mine," He murmured.

Yeah, that was supposed to be the point, wasn't it?

A loud knock on the door startled you, Gojo's perky voice calling out from outside that the time was up and for Geto to come out with his pants on and zipper up.

You hurried to stand, brushing off your skirt and wiping at your lips, even more flustered than you had been when you showed up.

Geto pulled open the door with his usual unreadable stare despite the onslaught of teasing from Gojo, the other stares glued to both of you walking out, the whispers being spread.

But then Gojo laughed, and the tension broke.

A handful of people approached, guys and girls, all of them talking and giggling, switching from subject to subject, mostly stuff you were clueless about or happened in classes you weren't in. A few times, you tried to interject just to get talked over, standing on the fringes and watching him get swallowed up by the group. Silently listening and nodding and trying to laugh at all the right times, even when all you got was an eye roll or flat-out ignored.

You slipped away while he was still distracted.

No real goal in mind. Just squeezing past people and looking through all the rooms. Giving yourself a house tour since it wasn't like anyone else would show you.

You might've just left if some of the girls from before hadn't found you about to grab a second drink from the kitchen, Suguru standing at the counter and chatting, while you clung to the shadows.

"You're Suguru's girlfriend, right?" A blonde one giggled, lips pursed together and eyes all big and bright.

"Um, yeah," You swallowed, preemptively setting the cup down at the counter while they all exchanged looks.

"We're about to go skinny dipping out back," She added, pointing at a glass door. Thick blinds covered it, making it almost impossible to see through to the backyard.

"Yeah, you wanna come with us?" One of the other ones grinned, tossing her hair back.

You glanced behind you, but Suguru was distracted taking another shot, too absorbed in another conversation to even notice. "Sure."

It was the worst idea yet to think they had anything other than bad intentions.

But you wanted to believe them. Wanted to ignore the feeling screaming at you in your gut when you followed them out to the pool and let them guilt you into stripping after they took off their clothes.

Convinced that since they jumped in, it was safe.

The second your clothes were piled up and you were in the water, they were all scrambling to get out, laughing at you when they snagged your clothes and ran off, leaving you naked and freezing in a pool just feet away from a house full of people.

As if the night couldn't get more embarrassing, Gojo found you. Lipstick stain on his neck and red solo cup in his hand, blue eyes hazy as he stumbled outside and you reluctantly called out his name. His reaction was slow, sliding around the greenery until he noticed you in the pool.

"What's up?" He slurred, almost falling in to join you when he walked over and bent down. His eyes went wide the second he noticed your absent clothes, the way your hand was covering your chest to barely conceal your breasts.

"Some girls stole my clothes," You muttered, giving him the short version of events, breath hitching and hot tears forming in the corner of your eyes, but you refused to blink and let them fall. "C-could you help?"

"Shit, okay, sure," He frowned, brows scrunched together in shock for a second before starting to strip off his clothes.

"What are-" Your voice died when his underwear hit the concrete, turning into a squeak as you glanced away.

"Wear mine," He offered, getting in the pool with you.

You scampered out before you had more company, dripping water without even a towel to dry off, definitely flashing Gojo as you hurried to pull his t-shirt over your head and slip on his boxers.

Looking like you just fucked Gojo was better than being naked.

"Thank you," You murmured, looking back at him where he was content to lounge in the pool, nude or not.

"Course," He hummed. "Suguru's in the kitchen if you're looking for him."

All you wanted was to get your keys and go.

Call this whole stupid idea off and return to receiving the cold shoulder from the rest of the school. Clearly, you were wrong to think they'd ever see you as a real person.

You hurried through the kitchen. Didn't spare a glance for anyone else despite the jokes you knew were directed at you. Just headed straight for the upstairs bedroom where Geto had locked up your stuff for safe-keeping. You tried the knob just to make sure no one else had snuck in before pulling out a hair pin and bending it into a straight line, sticking it through the small keyhole and jiggling it around until you felt the pins inside start to unlatch.

There were a few odd perks from being kept under lock and key your whole life. Including learning how to pick them.

It only took thirty seconds for you to get it unlocked, pushing the door open and sighing with relief when you saw your purse still on the bed. It only took a second to realize it was probably Gojo's room, the blue comforter and the photos of him plastered on the wall. A couple sets of keys were on the nightstand, a wallet you guessed was Geto's. For a moment, you considered shoving cash in it for tonight's payment, but you decided against it. You'd give it to him Monday and cut everything off clean. This was it.

You were about to snatch your stuff and go, but you paused again, glancing around the room over to the open closet, clothes on the floor and barely any on the hangers, hurrying over to get Gojo something to wear too.

Geto was standing behind you by the time you grabbed everything and turned around. Leaning against the doorframe and studying your soaking wet frame, the oversized clothes hanging off them.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his voice strained.

"Home," You sighed, tossing Gojo's clothes to him. "Gojo's going to need those. He's in the pool."

"So come with me," Geto offered, broad shoulders basically blocking the way out. "What happened?"

"Some friends of yours invited me skinny dipping," You muttered, staring at the floor while you talked. A hard lump had formed in your throat, making it even harder to get your words out. "They took my clothes and left me in there. Gojo gave me his."

There was something about the way he watched you that made you feel like you were on trial, that he constantly wavered between the verdict depending on what you said, the way you blinked, how you moved.

You didn't look up at him.

Couldn't.

"Will you at least let me walk you to your car?" He eventually asked, and in the edges of your vision, you are watched his knuckles turn white from gripping the clothes so tightly.

"If you want to," You quietly answered, wondering if that had a cost too.

You waited for him to come back when he went to give Gojo his clothes, sitting on the edge of the bed and feeling like a pet that had been left in the rain, cold and shivering as you held your own arms, rubbing little circles into your own skin trying to soothe yourself.

Your phone buzzed in your purse, only pausing to dig it out and see a few missed messages from Sukuna asking if you would come in tomorrow.

The second you opened it and the message was marked as read, he called, your thumb hesitating to answer.

For some reason, it felt more mortifying for him to know about how awful the night had gone when he'd seen how nervous you were earlier.

He scoffed the second you picked up.

"What time do you want me there?" You quietly spoke into the speaker before he could speak first.

"Are you drinking?" He huffed, his way of asking if you'd be hungover in the morning.

"I only had one beer like, an hour ago," You answered, but the taste on your tongue was a different kind of bitter now. "I'll be fine."

"Having fun?" He wryly asked.

"Um, no, not really," You murmured, voice small, watching a water droplet hit Gojo's floor from where you were still dripping.

"The hell are you doing there then?" He asked. The real question was why the hell had you even shown up? Just to have your own personal pity party?

"I'm about to leave," You sighed, sniffling and rubbing your face with your other hand. Streaks of makeup were left on it, mascara and eyeliner and glitter all sticking to your fingers.

"Are you crying?" He bluntly asked, and you hadn't been, but the question splintered the last of your shield, getting choked up trying to stop yourself from crying.

"No," You grumbled, sniffling hard in your attempt to hold it together.

"Liar," He huffed. "Do you need me to pick you up?"

"No," You repeated, wiping your eyes again, refusing to let yourself break in a house with all these other people.

"Text me the address and I'll be there." It sounded more like a demand than an offer.

"I can drive myself," You protested, just for Geto to show back up in the doorway. You paused, uncomfortably shifting before talking into the speaker. "Look, I'm leaving now, okay?

He made a disgruntled noise, hanging up before you could. What were the odds he'd throw a fit if you didn't text him when you got home?

Geto cleared his throat across from you.

He was staring.

"Sorry, it's just my boss," You mumbled under your breath before shoving your phone back in your bag.

"Calling you now?" Geto asked, as if he cared what the answer was.

"He just asked if I could come in tomorrow," You sniffled again, recollecting yourself. If you couldn't cry over the phone with Sukuna, you certainly weren't going to do it in front of Geto.

You didn't need to add crybaby to the list of terrible things he thought about you.

It was awkward walking down the stairs and out through all the strangers who still didn't like you onto the street. He didn't say much, just studying you how he always did.

Didn't it get boring?

It wasn't like there was anything he'd find interesting about you.

"Which girls did it?" Geto eventually grimaced.

"It doesn't matter," You breathed. You knew better than to engage in any kind of retaliation. It happened. You'd live. Why dare them to do something like it again?

"You can tell me." You couldn't, not really. If you did, then you'd just be hurt when he wouldn't do anything about it either.

You kept your mouth shut.

Just let him walk you the rest of the way to your car. He'd commented the first time he saw it that he was surprised it wasn't pink. And actually? You used to have one. Until it kept getting vandalized. Small stuff, usually, gum stuck to the side, little dents and dings you suspected were intentional, but then someone keyed it, and you had to get something more inconspicuous.

It was just another unfortunate facet of life.

Geto wasn't the kind of guy who'd give you pity points anyway.

You figured he'd just walk off now that he'd finished his work, free to have whatever fun he wanted.

Convinced that he'd be gone by the time you opened your door. But he didn't budge, standing behind you more like a bodyguard than a boyfriend.

"Have a good night," You murmured, unlocking you car without looking over your shoulder. Slipping into the seat and about to shut the door before he suddenly grabbed it, the breeze on your exposed skin making you shudder again.

"I'm sorry," He abruptly apologized, brows furrowed and flustered as he slotted himself between you and the door to keep you from what? Slamming it shut with his fingers still there? "I was a shitty date tonight."

"It's not your fault," You shrugged. His real friends were there. You'd never expected any more from him than the occasional arm around you or a peck on your cheek.

Making out was certainly more than enough.

The image you had in your head for how you wanted tonight to go never would've come true anyway.

"You should at least call me an asshole," He spoke slowly.

"Why?" You quizzed, tilting your head to the side. There was another brittle wind, and you turned away from him to grab Sukuna's hoodie from the passenger seat, pulling it over your head to warm up.

His jaw clenched, glancing down at the fabric you were drowning in before looking back into your eyes.

"I should've stayed by your side," He said, all his muscles still locked tight like something was annoying him.

"I shouldn't have come," You awkwardly laughed, anxiously rubbing the back of your neck under the soft material of the hoodie. "Honestly, this whole thing was a terrible idea."

Geto hesitated, watching every raw emotion flicker across your face. Regret and embarrassment all rolled into a painfully tight lump bobbing in your throat.

"You didn't do anything wrong," He forced the words out, frowning at whatever expression you were wearing.

You couldn't help but giggle at that when it felt like everything you did had been wrong.

"Well, thanks anyway," You managed a tight-lipped smile, before looking down to dig through your purse for cash. You'd stopped to withdraw extra on your way here, counting the bills one more time before holding it out for him to take. "Let's just call this whole thing off, okay?"

"What?"

"All I really wanted was to make some friends, and I just thought since everyone likes you, maybe they'd give me a chance if you liked me too," You shrugged, holding out the cash further for him to grab just for him to stand there and stare. You didn't want to look at him anymore. "It was stupid of me."

"It's not," He quietly said.

"I appreciate you trying," You thanked him. You didn't want to sound pushy, didn't want to shove it at him, but he didn't move.

"Let me try again."

"What?" You once again didn't understand. Weren't getting the what or why behind it.

Did he just want more money?

"The aquarium was on your list, right?" He asked, thin brows furrowed together.

"I mean, yeah, but-"

"Skip your lecture on Friday and we'll go. I'll help you make some friends, okay?" He spoke firmly, like he'd already come to some decision in his head about you.

An insecure sliver if you wondered if he just pitied you too much to hate you anymore.

"You will?" You heard yourself ask, waiting for him to say nevermind.

"Yeah," He nodded.

This time though?

You couldn't bring yourself to get your hopes up.

Being late for work was one of the few firsts you hadn't planned on.

Your body was exhausted, muscles sore like you'd slept wrong, blinking back exhaustion as you rolled over and squinted at the sun cutting through the curtains. You were yawning when you grabbed your phone out from under your pillow, but someone might as well have dunked your head underwater when you tapped on it and realized you'd be at least fifteen minutes late at best.

Scrambling to get ready through the sleepy haze, hastily scrounging through your closet for a fresh pair of jeans and not bothering to change out of Sukuna's hoodie or even put on makeup, only deodorant before grabbing your phone and keys to get out the door.

Sukuna was waiting for you when you got there.

Arms folded across his chest, gaze slinking over your jeans and his slept-on hoodie drowning you.

"I'm sorry," You pushed your lips together, rubbing your eyes for the thousandth time since you woke up.

Sukuna poked the hickey you'd forgotten about.

"Shitty night?" He cocked his head to the side, and you couldn't discern what was burning behind his eyes. It wasn't like he was the kind of guy to care about professionalism enough to be bothered by the bruise poking out underneath your collar. Choso and Yuki came in with them all the time. Was it irritation that you were late then?

"Yeah," You sighed, shrugging as you say your purse down. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to make your lunch this morning."

He scoffed, and you stopped breathing for a second.

Wondering if maybe this was the moment you were no longer worth keeping around.

If you'd get to add fired to your list of experiences.

But then he pushed his hair back, running his fingers through the stray strands, flashes of silver his rings catching the light as he sighed.

"Whatever, guess I'll have to take you to lunch then."

The fact was hard to accept since the two of you had only been talking for a short time, but you wondered if he felt it too. You were attracted to him at first, but his actions made you slip quickly. And one night of talking was all it took. 

“Are you going to keep pretending you’re not interested in me still? Even after what I said?” Xavier’s hands gripped the wheel. His smug smile plastered on his face as he flashed his teeth at you. “You might be a little foolish, but I know you’re not dense.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You blurted, clearing your throat.

The sigh he let out was exaggerated and playful, feigning disappointment. “A shame, but I hope you know I’m patient, starlight.”

Your fingers fiddled with the zipper of your jacket as you chewed on your lip. “You seem a bit impatient considering we’ve only really known each other for a bit…”

“I’ve admired you for longer. Now that you’ve given me a chance to get to know you, I’m sure that I have feelings. And I’ll be patient for your response, but I was just scared that if I didn’t say anything sooner, you’d talk yourself out of it. And then I’d regret it.” The last sentence sounded like he spoke with experience, and it made you wonder about his past. You somehow became jealous of who he yearned for before. And yet he spoke with such certainty that it made you jealous of him. He was confident and completely read you like a book. “Don’t think too much about it, but I want you to be aware. Aware of me. Of my feelings.”

“Thanks…” You mustered, flushed. 

He softly laughed as he pulled into what you assumed to be where everything happened. You excitedly looked at your surroundings. He entered from a different area and you assumed it was the private section for staff. “We’re just going to practice a little, but I’ll give you a tour. During the actual race, you’ll most likely be alone…” He thought to himself. “Are you covering me on your own?”

“Most likely, yeah. I usually do. You are a bigger subject, but you’re still just one person. I don’t think I’d need extra hands…” You thought back to what Jenna said. “My boss thinks we’ll scare you off by having too many hands on deck anyways. She thinks you’re shy.” You giggled.

“Just picky.” He smirked at you, pulling into a parking space underground. “Maybe I’ll have Jeremiah accompany you…I trust you to take care of yourself, but I think having someone to ask about the actual race would help.”

You nodded, grateful for his consideration. You were a fast learner, but the race was a few days away and you weren’t sure if it was enough to learn logistics for writing. You gathered your belongings and prepared to get out. 

Xavier was as gentlemanly as ever, quickly exiting and making way to your side to hold the door open. You thanked him sheepishly as he studied you. “It’s cold inside the buildings and it’s a bit cloudy, right now…” His fingers touched the fabric of your long-sleeved shirt. “Hold on.” He walked to his trunk and grabbed a gray sweatshirt. “I just got this the other day, I haven’t used it yet. Wear this.”

“I’m really okay…” You muttered, you put your hands up in defense.

“Trust me. I saw you shiver the other night and I was almost sweating. You’ll need this.” He teased you, shutting his trunk to grab your camera bag, freeing your arms to slip it on.

The sweater had Red Bull on the back with his number embroidered on the front. The sleeves had a couple of other sponsors. It was like his jacket but in leisure wear. “This is kinda cute…” You didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it was comfortable and warm. It was also clearly well-made. You loved oversized hoodies and since it was made for him and his taller stature, the sweater ended near mid-thigh for you.

Xavier snickered, handing you your things back. “You can keep it. Now let’s go. You have a pass that shows you’re with UNICORNS, right?”

You dug it out from the pocket of your computer bag and flashed it at him. He instantly took it from you and put it around your neck. “Wait, what do you mean I can keep it?”

“Surely you know what that means. I have a lot of those, so don't think too much about it. As long as you’re warm.” He started walking and you followed him without another word. “I have to meet with my team. They might be a bit cranky because I pushed back the schedule for you.” You were looking at his back, but you could hear how he was teasing you as he spoke. “I can hear you tense up back there,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. His eyes mischievously glinted. “They’re probably grateful for the extra morning time to themselves. We’ll practice in a bit and check on our cars…you’ll get some good pictures then…” 

You typed random notes on your phone as you took notes of the scenery and his schedule, so preoccupied that you didn’t notice that he stopped moving. You bumped into his side with a soft thud, and you would have fallen back if he didn’t grab you by the shoulders. 

“Sorry.” The sincerity of his apology was questionable with how amused his eyes were as they looked down at you. The proximity made you realize how tall he was, and you could smell his citrusy and woody cologne over the leather. “The meeting might be a bit boring, but it’ll be quick. I’m going to have to work-out though. Would that be useful content for you?”

You wondered if it was obvious how your eyes nearly bulged out of your head from the idea of seeing him in the gym. With the way he laughed at you, you concluded that it did. “Maybe a little.”

“We’ll go down to the car afterwards. You’re going to be stuck with me the whole day, are you sure you don’t want to turn back around now?” He stretched his arm out to free his watch from under his jacket sleeve and checked the time. You shook your head as a response and he smiled softly. “Good. Come meet everyone then.”

You expected the day to go by quickly, but soon it felt like it got slower and slower. You commended him for the dedication to his job. Although you wondered if this was how another person would watch your day in your career. His team was friendly, but they all seemed shocked to see you were there. They were even more surprised with how warm Xavier treated you. He didn’t seem too close to them, but it was mainly friendly. Andrew was the second racer on his team, and it didn’t make sense how the two competed together and against each other at the same time. 

Once the group finished their talking points and planning, Xavier hadn’t anticipated being pulled into another talk about sponsors and other things that almost went over your head. You took photos of him as he walked you through the rooms, and in some shots, he looked right back at you into the lens. He was extremely photogenic, you could feel yourself getting flustered every time.

“I didn’t know that you still had to workout for this.” You said as the two of you walked over to the gym.

“I didn’t either, that’s why I chose this career.” He joked with you, nudging you softly. “And then I had to do all these exercises before even getting inside the car for the first time. You probably haven’t watched an entire race, but it’s long. After my first one, my core felt so sore, I slept for eighteen hours straight.” Xavier rubbed at his abdomen as if remembering the pain.

“How long is a race?” You asked.

“It should be about a hundred minutes, but it gets up to two hours sometimes.” He answered casually as if it was a small feat. He stopped in front of a room, “This is the gym. Give me a second, I’m going to change into something more appropriate. You can take pictures around here and wait.”

You wandered around the room mindlessly, taking pictures of the entire place. It was mainly for setting purposes for possible future articles. You weren’t sure when you’d need them, but it would be good to keep on hand. The gym was like any other typical gym, containing the usual machines and weights.

Something inside of you felt excited to see what ‘appropriate’ meant for Xavier. You had always seen him in casual wear, but you had never seen him in workout attire before. The heat in your lower stomach indicated indecent excitement, but you attempted to ignore it. You played with the sleeves of your new sweater, thanking Xavier in your head because the air conditioning must have been set to max power. 

You heard the doors open again and saw Xavier walk in. He changed into an athletic white tank top and gym shorts. You knew he was muscular, but you saw a lot more than before. “Gawking?”

“A little, maybe.” You stepped to the side, “U-um, what do you normally start with?” You could barely concentrate as he talked you through his workout. You were surprised you managed to remember to take pictures. You thought Xavier was already attractive, but the sight of him lifting weights and sweating had you almost drooling on the gym mats. His arms flexed through every movement and the focused look on his face was the most handsome thing you had ever seen. 

You noticed your interest in him spiking and quickly tore your eyes away from him, cursing at yourself. Luckily for you, he was engulfed in his set. It was only then that you heard the music softly playing throughout the gym. You were then startled by a voice behind you.

“Impressed? He’s usually not trying this hard during his workouts…” The coach of his that you met at the meeting laughed heartily. “If you’re writing about a day in his life, he’s making a show of it for you. Write in there that his coach usually has to nag him, will you?”

Xavier dropped his weights and sat up, a playfully annoyed look was plastered on his face. “Shouldn’t you just be glad that I’m here?”

“Trying to look cute for the pretty journalist? Sure.” You could hear the guy behind you roll his eyes, and you swore that Xavier’s smug face faltered, as if it upset him. “Get up. You’ve warmed up enough. She ought to see your extreme training if she wants a good article.” The man walked over to a door and motioned for the two of you to follow.

Xavier grumbled as he walked over to you, helping you up and carrying one of your bags. “How are your photo editing skills?”

You weren’t sure what confused you more: his question or the room filled with weird machines.

Both of your questions were answered a moment after. The machines were for more targeted training for someone in Xavier’s field. It hadn’t occurred to you the specific muscles and skills needed to be a professional racer, but after learning that the races last almost two hours, it made more sense. 

The coach had put Xavier into a machine that strapped his whole head, and it honestly looked like a torture device to you, but it was to train his neck. You had always wondered how different he had looked from earlier pictures, and it had clicked that it was the thickness of his neck. It grew stronger and sturdier to withstand the forces of getting knocked around in the car throughout the years. You also realized that Xavier was worried about the photos being taken of him since it put him in awkward positions that had him completely focused. “You don’t mind, right? Seeing me like this?” He has asked during one of the many reps.

Yet, even then, you found him extremely attractive. He was focused and everything in his body looked tense and flexed. You knew that even those photos would have been a hit for those already in love with the way he looked, you even thought it would spur them on even more.

The coach had him go through even more rigorous training like weighted steering and reaction times. And despite how difficult they all seemed, Xavier went through all of them swiftly. Especially his reaction times. He moved at light speed, almost.

“Woah…” You muttered.

“Why do you think he’s one of the best? I’ve never seen anyone move like him before. If you watch him long enough, it’s as if his hand teleports to the button. You barely see him actually move.” The coach had his arms crossed, watching like a proud parent watching their kid score a goal in a soccer game.

Once he was done, your camera was already at half its battery life and your notebook was filled with notes. He went off to take a shower whilst you waited in the hallway, gathering your thoughts and taking a quick break. The harder you saw him work, the deeper you fell for him. There was always something that attracted you about someone with passion. And the fact that he looked like a model while doing everything made it even easier to like him. He was just your type. Although, you still had a hard time accepting that he even liked you and was the first to admit it.

There was still a small pit of worry in your stomach though. You’ve worked with plenty of celebrities and you have covered multiple stories of them being a terrible partner. You were worried you would just end up being another sad headline that would ruin his and your reputation. Yet another voice combatted the negative thoughts with memories of the past few days, along with all the other times you had crossed paths. 

Xavier was genuine, hardworking, passionate, and friendly. It was hard to find the flaw in him, even when he was smug and confident. He sometimes acted royally, and even that made him charming to you.

You sighed out loud.

“Tired?” His voice startled you. Xavier stood in front of you, going unnoticed after you were deep in your thoughts. He was dressed in a tight gray shirt and another pair of black gym shorts. He had a small towel around his neck and his hair was still wet. You assumed he would have been more tired than you, but he just ended up looking more energetic.

You shook your head. “What’s next?”

“Are you hungry?” He asked.

“I’m still full from lunch earlier, but I can watch you eat.” You realized you sounded a bit weird and reworded yourself. “Keep you company, I mean.”

He just laughed a little, his eyes crinkling and the droplets of water falling as his head shook. “I’m just making sure you’re okay, don’t worry. I ate a bit on my way to the showers. It’s just a bit more things to do…”

His day was still fully packed and you were already becoming exhausted just from watching and asking questions. The two of you checked in on his vehicle just so you could take up close photos, and he kept bringing up how you thought they drove actual cars. It made you cringe, but something about how domestic the exchange felt made you feel flustered. It had become a bit daunting to you emotionally, realizing that you were growing comfortable with him.

You were expecting to see him drive it until he taught you that there were only specific car training days and he wasn’t permitted to drive on the tracks unless it was those days. And since you were there on a non-car training day, he took you to the simulation room.

It was one of the most high-tech rooms that you had ever stepped into. When he said a simulation room, you were expecting an arcade. Instead, there was a large screen that circled around a replica of one of the vehicles that was on a triangular platform.

Xavier had to put on proper pants and extra gear before he got in and the screen turned on to show a realistic track. He practiced for just a bit, giving you time to talk to the operator and take pictures and videos. It looked more like he was training to become an astronaut instead of a driver. 

“Care to try it?” Xavier swiftly lifted himself up and out of the simulation vehicle.

“Can I?” Your eyes lit up like a child and you looked at the operator who nodded.

“I’ll turn the difficulty down to beginner so you won’t suffer.” The operator said, half-joking, motioning at Xavier to get you suited up.

He had grabbed a helmet that he must have deemed to be more your size and had you tie your hair up before he slipped it on. “What does he mean by ‘suffer’?” You asked, looking up at him through the window of the helmet, as he strapped you up.

He shrugged. “This is one of the more advanced simulators, so it would knock you around more realistically. You said you liked rollercoasters before, right?” You nodded, feeling the familiar flip in your stomach as he remembered yet another small detail. “If he kept it at the setting he has it on for me…it would feel like a bad rollercoaster. Especially since you’re not used to driving high speeds like this.” You opened your mouth to interject that you’ve ridden fast before, but he looked as if he had already read your mind. “Faster than the motorcycles you’ve driven.”

Xavier helped you into the simulator and just from the first few seconds, you became grateful for your career path. Although you were comforted by the ‘beginner’ term, the simulator made you dizzy instantly. And you were normally a trooper for all sorts of rides. You heard him and the operator chuckling as they reset your vehicle plenty of times after you would crash into the wall. But even when Xavier teased you, he remained reassuring and after a few moments, you lasted longer on the track. 

The two of you switched again soon after, as you tapped out from being lightheaded. You couldn’t imagine the mode that Xavier was training on, and you certainly couldn’t imagine how he actually drove for two hours in the most compact car. You apologized to every driver in your head that you may have made fun of in passing beforehand as you realized how hard the sport was. 

By the time the two of you got out, the sun had already set. 

“You still seem so chipper…I’m already tired just from watching you.” You groaned, throwing your head back onto the headrest of the car seat.

“How will I spend time with you if I’m tired?” He casually said, making your heart skip a beat. “Let’s go on our second date now, I’m hungry.”

Second. You had fully assumed that the dinner you two had shared before was more of a joke from him to lighten the mood after your actual failed date. And then he fully confessed. You heated up. “So much for being patient.” You playfully went to hit his shoulder, but he instantly caught your hand whilst the other was steady on the steering wheel.

“I’m still being patient. I’m not patient about being hungry, though.” His thumb softly ran down the back of your hand. “I just want to show you I’m serious. About you.”

“I do like you. I’m just kind of nervous. I haven't dated anyone seriously in so long. And you’re not just anyone…” You had given up and admitted it, realizing that you were the impatient one. You wanted to test him a little, but something inside of you really wanted to ease any worries he had. “You’ll be nice to me, won’t you?”

“Can you say it again first?” His hand holding yours tightened. “I’ll be nice, starlight. I just need to make sure I didn’t pass out from working out and that this isn’t just a dream.”

You giggled. “I like you.”

“Delete the dating app and then I’ll really believe you.” He dropped your hand atop your phone that was on your lap.

You rolled your eyes but proceeded to do so anyway. You had already deleted your actual account, so you made a whole show of getting rid of the app completely. “Happy?”

“Incandescently.” He practically beamed, reminding you of an old book you had read and fallen in love with a couple of years ago. 

“If you hurt my feelings, I have the power to ruin your reputation, by the way.” You nodded, proud of yourself. 

Xavier took your hand again, tracing small circles on the back of it as he laughed at your statement. “I don’t plan on it, but the warning is loud and clear. I really am serious, you know? I believe you’ll only be seeing Xavier for a long time.

After dinner, he had driven the two of you home and even walked you to your door. He had been holding onto your bags the entire time and he asked, “Where are your keys?”

You looked at him confused as you pressed your thumb into the reader. “Doesn’t your place have the same exact door as me? You use your keys? But…” You stuck your thumb out at him, pointing out the more advanced locks. You couldn’t recall having to use keys since your childhood home.

He retorted by bringing up his house keys. “I just feel safer when I can actually hold something.” His finger hooked into the key ring, freeing his hand to grab yours. “Now I have you, and I’ll never let go.” Xavier looked proud of himself, waiting for your heart to skip a beat.

“Cornball.” You scrunched your face at him and wiggled out of his hold, grabbing your things from him and reaching into your house to set it down on the floor by the front door. Every single fiber in your body wanted to pull him into your place, but you wanted to play it slow, so with a shaky deep breath, you straightened yourself to look at him. “We’re dating.” You wanted to sound more sure, but it came out close to a question.

“Exclusively.” He added.

“It wasn’t love at first sight, right? I don’t believe in that. Not really.” You cleared the air, making sure that he was certain about what he felt. As certain as you were about how you felt.

Xavier’s hand tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Puzzled at first sight. Attracted the second. And I became more and more curious about you every sight after that. Your work, your voice, your drive…If wanting to spend my free time learning everything about you means that I like you, then consider me enthralled.” His fingers moved from your ear, tracing your jaw, and then his thumb brushed over your bottom lip. His eyes flickered from yours and then down to your lips.

With a hitched breath, you reached up to his wrist. “Don’t push your luck…just yet.”

“Or what? You’ll leave me?” He grinned.

“Maybe…goodnight Xavier.” His thumb was still on your lip and every word felt like electricity as your skin moved on his finger.

He took your hand and brought it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. His other arm was behind his back like a gentleman, and his eyes were staring into yours with such gentle admiration. “Goodnight, starlight.”

–

Work the following day was filled with constant questioning from all of your coworkers. Everyone wanted to know how you were able to convince the introverted F1 racer to work with the magazine. The excitement was buzzing throughout the office, you wondered how it would look if they found out the two of you were dating. There was always a silent rule that ‘one never dates their subject’ but their subjects weren’t Xavier Shen.

As if Tara could hear your thoughts, she muttered, “Whatever happens…happens.” She said, giggling with a quick glance at you. “But whatever happens also should be updated to your closest friend.” She whispered loudly at you.

You were going to retort with something snarky before Jenna had called you into her office. You weren’t as nervous as before since you were sure that you had secured the biggest article for a few months, and in turn, securing your place with the company. Yet, Jenna exuded a strong and intimidating aura that still left you wanting to cower when she stood up. Despite this, you actually considered her rather friendly. Just very strict about work.

“Close the door.” She sternly said as you walked into the room, her eyes glued to her screen. You did as she said and sat in the chair in front of her desk, awaiting whatever she had to say. “I’m impressed at the outcome of our talk the other day. I knew you would be the only one capable of this task.” She finally looked at you, taking her glasses off and setting it down. “I’d like to apologize for any stress I may have caused. I just wanted you to use every potential that you had.”

Your lips pressed into a line as you nodded at the things she said. “I appreciate this opportunity, I hope the team will be satisfied with what I bring in for the next issue.”

“Good. I’m sure you are capable of handling this alone, yes? Everyone is spread thin.” Jenna’s shoulders seemed to have relaxed. You nodded, already expecting this ordeal. “Now if I may be casual with you…the interview…” You had only ever seen Jenna act casual outside of work when there were celebrations at bars, so seeing it in front of you in the office was rather jarring. You held your breath, bracing for impact. There was a slight smirk playing on her lips as she looked at you. “I trust you can keep acting professionally here, no matter what happens, yes?”

“I-I…Y-yes, of course. I plan to work with no biases for the best of the magazine. Like usual.” You stuttered terribly and your cheeks grew warm.

“Wishing you the best in everything. Thank you.” She laughed at your reaction, melting the ice between the two of you. She picked up her glasses and slipped them on. “Let me know if you need any help with resources to cover the main race. Your paddock entry is guaranteed already, just in case Xavier didn’t have the power to do so.” She entered her work state again and waved you away. 

With a ‘thank you’, you left her office and returned to work. Your first agenda was to understand what a ‘paddock’ even was.

–

Xavier had been busy training, so the two of you hadn’t spent much time together since. But the night before the race, he managed to make time to help you with what to wear. The moment he slipped into your apartment, he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, earning a startled reaction from you. “What’s wrong…am I not allowed to kiss you here?”

“N-no…I like it.” You shut the door behind him and cleared your throat. You were about to motion him to sit on the couch so you could grab your options, but his hand caught your wrist as you turned around. 

“Can’t I get one too? I’ve been very hardworking." He pouted down at you, looking like a sad bunny. You could almost see the bunny ears droop as he begged you with his eyes. “And I missed seeing you.” He grabbed your other wrist and brought you closer.

You don’t know why he made you so nervous, you’ve done a lot more than just a kiss on the first date. Deep down, you wanted to do everything with him. But you held back and got on your tiptoes to press a kiss on his cheek. You pulled away just enough to be able to brush your lips near the shell of his ear. “You did a very good job. I hope you do even better tomorrow, yeah?” You got back down on your heels and smiled up at him. His stunned face made you want to kiss him all over and more just to see what other reactions he would make. Instead, you turned around and went into your bedroom to change into one of the outfits you had planned. 

It was just a lot of fancier clothes of yours that could be deemed as business casual. You chose one pair of slacks and stacked a lot of tops onto your bed. You went through a lot of tops before you saw a reaction you liked from Xavier.

It was a black sleeveless top with the neckline plunging just enough to make his eyes widen. “This?” You twirled for him and then looked at the mirror that you had in your living room. “Hm…what do other people wear? I’m getting-”

“I know I’ve said this all night, but you’re beautiful. A true star.” You looked over your shoulder to see him ogling at you from where he was sitting on the couch. “Maybe you shouldn’t wear this…”

“Why not? You can’t fight?” You smirked at him, egging him on. You don’t know what came over you but you walked over to him, standing in between his knees. 

“I can fight, alright. It just seems like you want me to lose my race.” He held your hand and brought your palm up to his face, sniffing the inside of your wrist. “Tell me…are you secretly working for another company to distract me? I’ll let it happen if you ask me nicely.” His eyes were big and blue and staring right at you. He looked so pouty and yet his eyes showed a fiery desire that you were sure mimicked your own. He kissed up your arm, pulling you closer and closer to him. “I’m doing my best to keep this slow and easy for you, but…wow.”

“Am I making it hard for you?” You feigned innocence and moved to straddle him. Your hunger overrode your shyness and the sight of the bulge forming in his sweatpants was making you even hotter. You fully sat yourself on his lap and even with the tight fabric of your slacks, you could feel how hot it was in between you two.

“You can answer that yourself now, I’m sure.” He dropped your hand from his face and kissed your chin. “We won’t do anything you don’t want to…Tell me if you want to stop…” He kissed along your jaw and you squirmed in his lap, making his hands snap up to your hips to keep you still.

“We have to get up early…ngh…” You tried to interject, but his hips snapped up into you, creating a friction you’ve been chasing. The moan left your lips before you could even think about it.

“Yeah…” His left hand moved up from your hip and up your back. The tips of his fingers traced your skin lightly, leaving electricity in their tracks, before tangling themselves in your hair on the back of your head. “Look at me, starlight.” Xavier tilted your head down to rest your foreheads together, breaths mingling with each other. 

Your hands moved underneath his shirt, tracing every muscle on his abdomen. “You are impatient.”

“Just sometimes…like right now. Are you going to let me kiss you, or are you going to make me be-” He teased you, but you couldn’t wait any longer and crushed your lips together.

The first kiss with him was anything but graceful. Teeth clashing, spit swapping, lip biting kisses. At one point you couldn’t tell which tongue was his and which was yours. The hand in your hair tightened its grip, and the hand on your hip moved you quicker against his clothed cock. You were sure your pants were going to rip from the friction. He grunted against your lips while you moaned against his. You ignored how your thighs burned from moving against him, and instead focused on how badly you wanted to make him cum in his pants.

When the two of you separated to catch your breath, you were gasping for air. “I can’t believe you’re going to make me cum like this, starlight. You’re…going to be the death of me…fuck, you’re soaking me even through all of these clothes.”

Your hand moved up to his mouth, covering it. “Saying- ngh…such dirty things.” You moaned, dropping your forehead to the crook of his neck. You felt his tongue trace in between your fingers, and you don’t understand how, but you came as soon as he did. “F-fuck…” Your hips stuttered against his, but he kept grinding up against you, grunting and vibrating his lips against your fingers. You couldn’t tell who was making more of a mess in either of your pants, but you felt it get even hotter as his thrusts into you got sloppier and faster.

Xavier dropped his hand from your hair and fully wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his forehead on your shoulder. Your hand fell from his face, letting him heave against you. The room was filled with the sound of both of you catching your breaths until he broke the silence, still breathless. “You really can’t wear this tomorrow unless you want me pouncing you on the track.”

–

And you didn’t wear it. As much as you wanted to tease him, you decided to play it safe. Instead you had a different black sleeveless top without the plunging neckline.

You walked around the room which you learned to be called the paddock. Only people who had a lot of money or a well-known name were allowed there. You were lucky to have been working for one of the top magazines that your media tag would permit you to enter.

It was just you, a heavy bag, and a camera around your neck. You somehow felt like you were dressed perfectly, despite feeling overdressed on the tracks. Everyone was formally dressed, and some ladies were even in cocktail dresses. You only spotted a few other magazine people, but they were dressed in fully formal business suits. 

“You’re with UNICORNS?” A deep voice beside you asked. You turned to find one of Xavier’s competitors, and if your memory served you right, he might have been his top competitor. “I don’t suppose someone as pretty as you would want to do a piece on me?” He gestured towards himself with much bravado, but it came off cocky, and in a negative way. It also felt like he had practiced it multiple times. He then proceeded to lean closer  towards you, winking in the process. “Unless you’d like a piece of me…that would work too, sweetheart.” He grinned. His nickname left a sour taste in your mouth.

Before you could reject him professionally, a badge came in between the two of you. “Please excuse us, this journalist received the wrong badge. They’re with Red Bull Racing now, so I don’t think a piece on your company would benefit you or her in any way. Thank you.” Xavier’s face was towards you, but he glared at the other man through his peripherals. His usually bright blue eyes were darker, even in the well-lit room.

The guy scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Whatever. If you ever decide to work with the bigger, better guys…you’ll know where to find me.” He sauntered off, defeated.

“He hasn’t been bigger or better in the past few years.” Xavier mumbled under his breath, annoyed. He dropped the badge from your face and moved to remove your current one. “Use this instead. Sorry, I forgot that not everyone here is as cool and respectful as me.” He placed your original media tag into your purse’s pocket and then put the Red Bull Racing lanyard around your neck. “This will give you access to join me down there later.”

“You’re kind of cute when you’re protective.” You whispered just loud enough for him to hear. You looked at him as he was up close to you, he was fully dressed in his racing suit and your mind flashed to dark indecent thoughts of him keeping it on during bedroom activities.

He cocked his eyebrow at you. “Kind of?” You responded with a shrug and he rolled his eyes. I have to go soon…follow me real quick.” His hand extended out as if he wanted to grab your hand, but he managed to control himself.

You followed him into a room with his name on the door and the moment the door closed behind the two of you, Xavier pulled you into his arms.

“I’m nervous.” He mumbled into you.

“You’ve done this so many times.” You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around his shoulders regardless.

“Yeah but I didn’t have to impress anyone before. What if I mess up because I have a girlfriend in the stands watching my every move.” He nuzzled his nose into your neck. 

The new title made you want to lock him in the room, but you took a shaky breath instead. “Well…here.” You pushed him up from you and cradled his face in your hands before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Good luck kiss.”

Xavier moved in for another kiss, a proper kiss, but you pulled back. He shot an instant pout at you.

“Not until you win the race. If you win, you can come and collect the prize.” You beamed at him. His pout grew deeper. “Don’t look at me like that,” you said, covering your face. “I’m just trying to motivate you to finish this faster.” You felt a kiss on your forehead.

“It’s working very well.” He murmured. “Jeremiah’s waiting for you at the paddock with the rest of the Red Bull people…don’t fall asleep while watching the race, okay?”

The two of you headed out and as he went the opposite way as you, you called out, “Good luck!” 

You found Jeremiah on the balcony overlooking the tracks. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you outside of the flower shop.”

He shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “Didn’t think I’d ever experience a week without seeing your sad face in my shop.” He nudged you gently with his elbow. “You went from being that journalist-slash-neighbor that Xavier never shut about to this?”

“I didn’t even think he’d want to be friends with a journalist, much less this…he’s serious though, right? Or is this a ploy of yours so that I’d be a customer for life?” You joked.

Jeremiah pretended to think deeply. “Wait…that’s good…” He flicked your forehead soon after. “My flower shop does very well, thank you very much. I know your house is going to feel empty without my flowers. You’ll be back regardless. I take care of them very well.”

You had never been more locked into an F1 race than you were that day. It was your first one in person, and for once, you cared extremely about one of the drivers. You constantly asked Jeremiah questions about what was happening, to which he responded very diligently. He didn’t seem like the type to appreciate these sports, but he was very well versed.

The loud sound of the engines, along with the people cheering, made your adrenaline go up. If it weren’t for Jeremiah, you would have almost forgotten that you were there for your job. Since Xavier was in first place, it was easy to spot his car. The race looked like toy cars from farther away and you couldn’t help but be curious about how it was to drive on.

There were a few stray accidents where they veered off the track on turns, but Xavier managed to get through every turn swiftly. A hundred minutes went by quicker than you thought. Near the end, Xavier dropped down to third place and you kept looking at Jeremiah, panicked.

“He’s trying to show off…” He muttered on his phone. “Do you think these flowers are pretty?” He flipped his phone over to show you the ones he wanted to grow, completely unphased by what the turn out of the race might be. You still responded earnestly before turning back around, hands gripped on your camera. 

You looked for the screen that showed Xavier’s car cam, and even with the tinted helmet window, you could spot his bright blue orbs. And if you squinted, you could almost see the smug look in his eyes. In no time, Xavier had the crowd going absolutely wild as he successfully weaved himself through the first two drivers and reached the finish line for first place.

The entire paddock floor cheered and Jeremiah stood up with a smile. Despite acting like he was bored, he still seemed as pleased as ever that Xavier won. “Come on, let’s go to the trucks to get you the winning photos.”

“Why are they still driving?” You looked at Xavier still running the track at a slower speed. 

“It’s the cooldown lap, this gives us time to get down there before he reaches the pit.” He grabbed you by your elbow and helped you through the crowd. The pit where Xavier was supposed to park was already surrounded with Red Bull members, all celebrating the win. You could hear Xavier’s voice through the radio, thanking everyone for the praises he was receiving. His soft chuckle sent your heart racing as well. 

“Are you sure it’s okay that we’re here?” You asked Jeremiah as he stood to the side.

“Not really, but you have the Red Bull pass? And anyways, they’re too busy celebrating.” He pointed at a group of people, “I’m sure you met them before but they’re going to congratulate him here as he gets out of the car and then we walk over there for the podium shots. It’ll be perfect for you.”

You nodded, holding your camera to your eye, capturing every moment that you could. The cooldown lap finished and Xavier arrived at the pit, hopping out of the car and getting on the hood of his vehicle. Everyone cheered as he celebrated, and you didn’t miss how he winked over at you when he took his helmet and balaclava off. The scene almost turned into slow motion as he shook his head to free his hair. 

“You’re drooling.” Jeremiah snorted from behind you. “I’m leaving after the podium, I just need to make sure you find him in one piece.”

You glared at him yet you were fully thankful. The team celebrated for a bit longer and although it was obvious the two of you wanted to celebrate with each other, it was too early in the relationship and too messy with your career.

The podium placements took place and you waited for him to step down before asking Xavier some questions. 

“How does it feel being the winner, Mr. Shen?” You asked him, holding the mic to his face. He held onto it with you, his gloved pinky grazing your fingers.

“Exhilerating as always. I’m thankful for my team and the crew, I could never have gotten anywhere without them. And most importantly, I’m thankful for the star of my life guiding me home in the crowds as fast as possible.” He looked right into your eyes, smiling with his whole face. “I hope she’s proud of me, right now.”

“I’m sure she is.” You instantly said, returning the smiling gaze. You turned the camera and mic off and smiled at him. “You looked really cool out there.”

“I’m still waiting for my prize.” He stepped forward, leaning towards you with just enough space to not seem suspicious but enough to make you warm.

“You’ll have to wait until we get home.” You mischievously said, but you were suddenly whisked away by your wrist.

“We have to be quick. If we don’t go now, I’ll be stuck with sponsors for hours. Write in your article that I disappeared due to health concerns or something…” He took you through the staircase to reach a private sector of the building. “I can see the way you look at me with this on,” he gestured over his outfit. “I promise you, though. I’m a mess underneath this. I’m just going to take a quick wash and change before we head out. Lay low.” He quickly placed a kiss onto your forehead as he slipped into a bathroom. 

You looked over the material that you had collected and admired every shot of him post-win. You would’ve hit yourself if you found yourself cheesing over the ordinary man, but Xavier was an anomaly. He was everything you ever wanted. 

It only felt like a few minutes before he slipped out of the bathroom in a simple white shirt and sweatpants like usual, and he instantly interlocked your fingers together to take you to the garage. He opened the door for you into the passenger’s seat after putting your things away in the trunk and then he practically teleported into the driver’s seat to take the two of you home.

“I’ve never understood these races before, but wow that was one of the most fun events I have ever attended. I kind of get it now!” You gleefully recounted watching him. “Jeremiah said the cars get really hot, how do your legs even keep up with that? And for two hours? You looked so hot.” You blabbed to him as he drove, and you got really into it because you barely noticed that the two of you were already in the parking garage of your apartment building. 

Xavier just looked at you, fully amused.

Suddenly shy, you played with your thumbs. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just really want my reward.” He rested his elbow on the middle console and leaned over at you. “Look at me.” He said, prompting you to do so. “Are you going to keep me waiting?”

“I guess not.” You were aiming for a soft and sweet kiss, but the moment your lips met, it rolled into something more.

His tongue traced the lining of your lips, making you gasp, and he instantly took the chance. Your hands moved up to the collar of his suit, pulling him even further into you, deepening the kiss as your nose pushed against his. Small moans left your lips as he caressed every inch of your exposed skin. “Need…to feel you…touch you.” He murmured against you. 

Somehow, you unfastened your seatbelt and climbed over the middle console, straddling him on the driver’s seat, ignoring how your ass made the horn go off. He swiftly moved the seat further back to give you more room as the two of you made out. “You were so hot out there…I thought I was going to jump you on those tracks myself…” Your fingers combed through his hair, pulling away enough to have him chasing after your lips. “There were so many people cheering for you…” Your breath hitched as his lips made their way to the soft spot on your neck. “I almost…ngh…got jealous.”

He nuzzled his face into your chest before resting his chin on the valley between your breasts, looking up at you. “But you’re the only one I looked for once the race ended, starlight.”

Your face heated up and you grabbed his face again, bringing him into another deep kiss. “I’m the impatient one now, let’s go upstairs…but I want to do it here next time…” You saw his ears redden at your request, but you didn’t have to tell him twice. 

In mere seconds, he had you on your feet outside of the car, doors locked, and nearly sprinting up the stairs to your place. His hand held yours to press your finger onto the lock, his hand gripped on your waist. You tried to ignore each time you brushed against his hard-on and the way he hissed, or else the two of you would have never made it into either of your homes. 

And yet, the moment the two of you entered your home and shut the door, you were already pinned up against the wall. “I’m sorry…if I hit the bed, I’ll fall asleep right now…” Xavier said, kissing your ear.

Your breathing was labored and you could feel yourself soaking through your underwear. You were so blindsided with how much you wanted him that you didn’t even think how tired he would be. “W-we can take a nap and…continue later…”

His head drooped to your shoulder and he shook his head. His silver hair tickled your neck. “Been waiting for this…I need you…please let me have you.” You felt his hands drag down from your shoulders, one staying on your chest to palm at your breast whilst the other explored you more. It slipped under your top, his cool fingers playing with the waistband of your pants. “Please.”

Instead of responding, you grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him. You traced your silent plea on his tongue with the tip of yours and as if he understood, his hand went further into your pants, under your underwear and traced his fingers through your folds. You lifted a leg and hooked it around his waist to open yourself up further to him, one hand snapping down to unbutton your slacks, giving him more room. The way his fingers found your clit instantly and rubbed perfect circles around it at just the right speed had you gripping onto his shoulders. Your one leg on the floor wobbled as he pleased you with just his hand. “Xa-...Xavier…fuck.” You struggled against his tongue.

“Have you been waiting for this? As long as I have?” Xavier’s lips brushed against yours as he asked you, the moonlight made it look like his eyes were glowing blue. He groaned as he teased two fingers against your entrance, the heat of your core with the coolness of his skin made you want more. He hissed, as if your slick burnt him. “You’re wet…is this your answer? “

You nodded, unable to answer properly. You dropped the leg around his waist, your knees shaking, hands drifting down to his sweatpants to pull them down  just enough to free his cock. “You wanted your reward right?” You managed to ask. 

Xavier looked at you confused, but when you started moving downwards, he understood completely. Your movement made him remove his hand from your pants and the other from your chest and he planted them both on the wall. “Fuck…are you sure?” He asked, watching you sink to the floor.

His cock was at eye-level with you as you squatted in front of him. It was huge, pulsing, and radiating enough heat to warm your own face. You assumed that every other part of him was cool to the touch because every ounce of blood was rushed down to his large length. “Shit…yes please…” You accidentally muttered out loud, your left hand moved to grasp at him. Your thumb and middle finger barely touched each other as you fully gripped his cock. You admired how he curved upward, hard enough to support the heavy length by itself. The tip was flushed red, glistening already. “You did so good…” You said to him, looking up at him through your lashes.

His face wrecked and focused on you below him. His eyebrows were knitted together, his bottom lip was in between his teeth, and his blue eyes were pleading.

You wanted to see more of his reactions. Desperate for it. You took your other thumb and swiped at his tip, making him buck his hips towards you with a groan. As you brushed the taste of him onto your tongue, you watched how he reacted. It was salty, but your sex-filled brain made you feel like it was as sweet as caramel.

“P-please, starlight. If you keep teasing me, I think I’ll pass out.” One of his hands moved down to caress your face, replacing your thumb with his. “You’re fucking beautiful…radiant even in the shadows.” You sucked his thumb into your mouth, his face contorting as if it pained him. “I could cum right now…just like this…does this mean…I’m a lost cause.” 

You released this thumb with a pop and took the tip of his cock, coating your lips with the slick leaking out of it. “Impatient.” You murmured against it.

His hands moved up to the top of your head, and he thrusted into your mouth. “How can I be patient like this…when it’s you? Fuck…I’m sorry.” He sank not even halfway into your mouth, but you felt extremely full already. 

You wanted to tease him even more, but you were more than okay with him taking control. The desperation in his eyes and movements spurred you on. The grip he had on the top of your head’s hair was almost burning, and it opened you up to sexual interests that you weren't aware of until that moment.

Xavier pulled himself out, leaving only the tip in your mouth and he pulled your head back to tilt you upward. “You said you’d leave me alone if I pushed my luck, right?” He thrusted into your mouth again with a grunt. Your eyes teared up, but you loosened your jaw to attempt to take more of him in. His thumb swiped at a tear falling, the movement gentle compared to the way his cock was in you. “Well, I’m pushing my luck now…” He pulled himself completely out of you, resting his cock on the side of your face, the tip getting tickled by your eyelashes. It was heavy and warm, slick with your spit and himself. “Are you going to ignore me again?”

Your hand came up, stroking the upside of his shaft with your palm, your fingertips toying with his tip with each movement. “No…keep pushing your luck and take whatever you want.” You pressed a kiss to the side of his length.

In an instant, he had you back up on your feet and facing the wall. You could hear the fabric tearing with how he pulled your pants and underwear down with one swift motion. “I’ll take my time with you next time…I promise…I just need you now…” He grabbed your hips and pulled it towards him, feeling the weight of his cock on your rounds of your ass. “Fuck…”

The fear of fitting him was overridden with how badly you wanted him. And yet his fingers entered you first. “So fucking tight…can you even take me, starlight?” His other hand gently caressed you whilst the one inside of you drilled into you, stretching you out for him. “Do you hear that?” The loud squelching of your arousal filled the room along with your mewls. “Say that you want me. Loud enough for the neighbors to know.” 

“I-I want you…Xavier. Please…don’t stop…I can take it.” You stuttered out, feeling him enter another finger. You could feel him drag the tip of his cock against your ass, matching rhythm with his fingers. As if he was pretending it was that inside of you and not just his hands. “J-just put it in, please. I want it. W-want you…” You slurred your speech, feeling already fucked out. 

He chuckled behind you. “I don’t have a condom…I’ll pull ou-” He was about to say until you turned to look at him over your shoulder.

“Don’t even think about it…p-please. I’m on bir-” Your sentence was cut short by him entering the head of his cock into you. You threw your head back with a loud moan. You covered your mouth with your hand, embarrassed at the idea of other people hearing you, but he grabbed your wrist and put it behind your back.

“If you want me to cum inside of you, I need to hear how good you feel, starlight. And I need everyone else to hear it too, ngh!” He chuckled again. “You secretly like that huh? You want everyone on this floor to know that the famous UNICORNS journalist is getting fucked by her next headliner?” He inched into you further, fucking every inch in and out of you as you moaned and shook in his hands, melting right in between the cracks of his fingers. “You’re getting even wetter, my star. Write in that article of yours that I’m all yours, yeah?” He bottomed out with a gasp from you both. “Beautiful…starlight…I must be dreaming right now.”

“Aah…you’re-you…you feel so good Xavier.” You rested your forehead on your arm that was propped up on the wall. The stretch of his cock was new to you. You had never been with anyone as big as him and thoughtful and passionate as him either. He gave you time to adjust to his size as he caressed you lovingly with one hand, the other still holding your arm behind your back tightly. “N-not a dream…feels too good…” You gasped as he pulled out halfway just to slam back in.

“You’re right…you feel too good to just be a dream.” He pressed a kiss on your exposed shoulder. “You’re tighter and hotter than anything I experienced today…ever…” He fucked into you more, shivering at every drag of his cock against your walls. “Shit…you’re all mine.”

“Yours…” You echoed, your thighs shaking as you neared your orgasm. “F-faster, Xavi…I’m so close, holy sh-shit.” You stuttered as he instantly picked up the pace.

“Me too. Cum for me, my darling.” He let go of your arm and held your hips, nearly lifting you from the ground as he fucked you faster, making sure to move every inch in and out of you. “Please…fuck…”

You came with a loud moan, almost gravelly from how dry your throat became from being unable to close your mouth. You threw your head back again and he dropped you back onto the ground, his hand tangling into your hair to pull you back enough to be able to kiss you as he came inside of you. An uncoordinated wet kiss as you felt him pulse inside of you, filling you with his signature. 

“Mine…” He muttered against your lips, breathing heavily. “I really like you…my star. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of this.”

“Me neither…” You gasped for air, both of your chests heaving. “You say that like I’d leave you…”

“You won’t?” His dominating demeanor melted and his eyes gazed at you softly again. 

“Of course not.”