SMILE! :D

girlhood, or birding before work; poking through owl pellets for tiny bones. I love my friends.

Dreaming of you is a strange kind of pain.

It breaks me apart,

yet somehow it comforts me too.

Because in those quiet hours,

when my eyes finally close,

you still exist in my world.

Not beside me,

not in the way I once wished,

but in the place where you never truly left

my dreams.

There, we are still us.

Our story never ended.

The chapters keep turning,

the conversations continue,

and for a little while

love is allowed to live again.

I don’t know if that’s healing me

or hurting me even more.

Maybe it’s both.

Maybe that’s what grief becomes

finding comfort

in the very thing that wounds you.

Either way,

this is the life I have now.

Learning how to keep moving forward

while carrying memories of your existence,

of your laughter,

of your love,

of everything we once were.

And though this endless loop

often leaves me aching,

it has taught me things too.

It forced me to look at myself,

to see what I couldn’t see before.

It opened my eyes

where they were once closed.

It showed me truths

I spent too long avoiding.

I don’t know if I’ll ever love again.

Maybe I will.

Maybe I won’t.

The future remains unwritten.

But what I know for certain

is that I loved you

with everything I had.

With every piece of my heart,

every hope,

every dream.

And whether that’s a blessing

or a burden now,

I cannot say.

But one thing remains true:

I may love again someday,

yet I will never love

the way I loved you.

Because some loves arrive only once,

leave their mark forever,

and change the shape of a heart

long after they’re gone.

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

My heart still calls your name

I tried to forget you

Like a million of time

But still you come into my mind

To show me the path

To make me comfortably aware

That I am alone

Going, going, gone,

My motivation dies,

I love this project oh so much,

And still it will capsize.

Never have I come so far,

That's why I struggle now,

Please, my love, stay with me still,

for who I grew to be.

I am kindhearted

and open minded.

Love lives in my core.

I don't display hate

for things I do not understand.

Instead, I simply educate myself

before passing on that knowledge

to others.

I'm not where I want to be in life.

I could have done some things differently.

I could have gotten on myself

about giving into fear.

The coulds and shoulds don't matter-

we're here.

There's always time to improve.

I can utilize what I learned.

I know how to push myself

gently in the correct direction.

I can push past this.

I don't need to remain stuck.

I have potential,

I don't need to be scared of it.

Written by AprilFool 🐸