Midnite Tears

Funny how everything became a sign to you.

Every argument.

Every bad day.

Every moment we struggled.

Every crack you could find

became another reason

why we were never meant to last.

You called them signs.

I called them excuses.

Because maybe you just wanted to leave

and needed something

anything

to make it easier

to walk away from me.

If you didn’t love me anymore,

why couldn’t you just say it?

Why couldn’t you look me in the eyes

and tell me

that the person I loved with everything in me

no longer loved me back?

It would have destroyed me.

But at least it would have been the truth.

Instead,

you turned everything against us.

Every imperfection became proof.

Every difficult moment became fate

telling you to leave.

While I was still fighting for us.

God,

I was still fighting for us.

Still holding onto the life

I thought we were going to have.

Still believing that seven years

couldn’t just disappear.

Still thinking love meant

you stayed when things became difficult.

But you left.

You actually left.

And I was still standing there

with my heart in my hands,

still wanting you,

still wanting us,

while you had already decided

that I was something

you could live without.

Do you know what that does to a person?

To love someone so deeply

and watch them become comfortable

with never seeing you again?

To lie awake at night

missing someone

who is sleeping perfectly fine

without you?

To keep replaying the ending,

wondering if there was something

you could have said,

something you could have done,

some version of yourself

that would have been enough

to make them stay?

I have tortured myself

with your absence.

I have carried you

long after you stopped carrying me.

And I know

I know I’ve said this

a thousand times before.

I’m letting you go.

But then I find you again

in an old memory,

a song,

a dream,

a place we once stood together.

And suddenly,

I’m right back there

loving someone

who is long gone.

But I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t keep bleeding

for a person

who walked away

and never came back.

I can’t keep waiting

for someone

who already chose a life

without me.

So maybe this goodbye

won’t be beautiful.

Maybe I’ll cry after writing it.

Maybe I’ll miss you tomorrow.

Maybe some part of me

will always love you.

But I have to let you go.

Not because I stopped loving you.

God, I wish it were that easy.

I’m letting you go

because holding onto you

is destroying what is left of me.

You’re gone.

You’ve been gone.

And I have to stop pretending

that loving you enough

will somehow bring you back.

So this is me

finally loosening my grip

on the person

I once thought

I would grow old with.

This is me

burying the future

I still secretly hoped for.

This is me

saying the words

my heart has refused to accept

you are not coming back.

And I cannot keep waiting.

So goodbye.

I loved you.

I loved you more

than I knew how to survive losing.

And maybe that

is why it has taken me so long

to finally say

goodbye.

Funny how you called everything a sign

every crack,

every silence,

every difficult moment

became proof

that we were meant to end.

But sometimes I wonder

if they were ever signs at all,

or just excuses

you needed

to make leaving easier.

If you didn’t love me anymore,

you could have said so.

If your heart had already left

before your feet followed,

you could have told me.

Instead,

everything became a reason

why we weren’t meant to be,

while I was still searching

for every reason

we could be.

But whatever.

You eventually walked away

while I was still standing there,

still wanting us,

still believing there was something

worth saving.

And maybe that’s what hurt the most

you were already saying goodbye

while I was still saying,

please, stay.

But life goes on.

And I know

I’ve said this a thousand times before.

I know I’ve whispered goodbye

only to reach for your memory again.

I know I’ve tried to let go

while secretly leaving the door open.

But I can’t keep doing this to myself.

I can’t keep holding on

to someone

who has been gone

for so long.

So this time,

I’m not searching for another sign.

I’m not asking why.

I’m not waiting for you

to turn around.

You made your choice.

And now,

finally,

I have to make mine.

I’m letting you go.

Goodbye.

You didn’t have to heal me.

You didn’t have to gather

the broken pieces of a past

you never created.

Those wounds were never yours to carry,

never yours to mend.

Healing was always my journey.

Fixing myself was always my responsibility.

What I needed

was never a savior.

I simply needed love.

A hand that wouldn’t let go

when the storms arrived.

A heart that chose mine

without trying to reshape it.

Someone who would accept me

for who I was,

and quietly stand beside me

as I grew into who I was becoming.

That was enough.

It always would have been enough.

I appreciate everything you tried to do,

every moment you believed

you could make the pain disappear.

But love

was all I ever asked for.

Somewhere along the way,

we reached the end.

Maybe I wasn’t enough.

Maybe I didn’t fit

the picture you had painted.

Maybe I couldn’t become

the person you wanted me to be.

Whatever the reason,

life kept moving,

even when my heart wanted it to stand still.

These days,

I’ve laid down the dream

of searching for another forever.

I’m tired of chasing love.

Tired of wondering

if someone will finally stay.

I’ve had my share of goodbyes,

my share of promises

that couldn’t outlive reality.

You were supposed to be

my forever.

Life chose differently.

So now,

you no longer live beside me,

or in the future I once imagined.

You live somewhere quieter.

A place time cannot erase,

where memories are gentle

instead of painful.

Not in my world anymore

but forever,

in my heart.

I disappeared without a goodbye,

silenced the noise,

deleted the endless scrolling,

and stepped away from the world

that always seemed to demand

a little more of me.

At first, I missed it

the familiar faces,

the moments shared,

the feeling of being connected.

But only a little.

Because in the silence,

I found something I had forgotten.

Peace.

A peace untouched by distractions,

unbothered by meaningless conversations,

random follows,

or the inevitable,

“Hey… long time.”

Just stillness.

Just me.

These days, Tumblr, Pinterest, and YouTube

are all I need

small windows to inspiration

without the weight of comparison,

without the pressure to be seen.

Losing the one soul

I wanted to love

for the rest of my days

broke something inside me.

There is no pretending it didn’t.

But heartbreak has a strange way

of rebuilding us.

Piece by piece,

it has led me back to myself.

I’m learning to enjoy my own company again,

to step beyond the edges of my comfort zone,

to create memories

without waiting for someone

to stand beside me.

I am single,

but I am not alone.

There is a difference.

For the first time in a long time,

I am becoming the person

I was always meant to know.

And as I move forward,

I won’t chase the noise again.

I’ll choose the quiet.

Because somewhere within its gentle silence,

I finally found myself.

Why does love hurt?

Why do two strangers

cross paths,

learn each other’s hearts,

build a home inside one another…

only for one

to walk away?

What was the point?

What lesson

was I supposed to learn

from losing you?

Was it that

I wasn’t enough?

That I wasn’t worthy

of being loved?

Or was it that

love was never meant

to stay

only to visit,

change us,

and leave?

I don’t understand.

If our story

was always meant to end,

why did our paths

ever meet?

Why did the universe

place you in my life

only to ask me

to live without you?

Why did I have to fall

so deeply in love,

to know what forever

felt like,

only to discover

that forever

could end?

I search for answers

in the silence,

but silence

never replies.

It only echoes

your absence.

Maybe one day

I’ll understand.

Maybe one day

these questions

will no longer keep me awake.

But today…

I’m still standing

where our story ended,

holding a heart

that still whispers your name,

wondering

why love

could feel so beautiful…

and hurt

this much.

I know

you had a choice,

and that choice

wasn’t me.

I’ve made peace with that.

Or at least,

I’ve tried to.

It still hurts.

Because to me,

you were always mine.

Maybe not forever.

Maybe not in the way

you saw us.

But in my heart,

it was always you.

We weren’t perfect.

We argued.

We stumbled.

We carried our flaws

like every couple does.

No love story

is ever written

without storms.

I just never imagined

ours would end this way.

Now I’m left

with questions

that echo through empty nights

questions

I’ll never have answers to.

So I keep learning

how to live

in a world

where you’re no longer beside me.

And it’s harder

than I ever thought it would be.

You find your way

into every quiet moment.

Into songs.

Into memories.

Into the spaces

between my thoughts.

Some nights,

I cry myself to sleep

missing someone

who no longer misses me.

Some nights,

I dream of you.

You’re there,

but you’re distant.

Your eyes no longer

recognize mine.

Your voice

has turned cold.

And every time

I wake,

my pillow

knows the tears

before I do.

I hate this feeling.

I want it to leave.

I want to stop

replaying our story.

I want to stop

searching for you

in places

you’ll never be again.

I want to stop crying

for someone

who has already

let me go.

You’re gone.

I know you are.

So tell me…

If love is supposed to fade,

if time is supposed to heal,

then why

after everything

can’t I let you go?

Just like you let me go.

I have learned

that solitude is not a punishment

it is a place

where I have found myself again.

The silence no longer frightens me.

The empty side of the bed

doesn’t feel like an enemy.

My own company

has become enough.

I laugh alone.

I dream alone.

I build a life

that belongs only to me.

And somehow,

that feels like peace.

But peace

does not erase longing.

There are nights

when I miss the warmth

of another heartbeat beside mine,

when I miss fingers

finding mine without a word,

when I miss a gentle kiss

placed softly against my forehead

as if to say,

“You’re home.”

I miss arms

that wrapped around me

like the safest place in the world.

I miss quiet moments,

heads resting together,

love spoken

without a single sentence.

Not because I’m lonely

I’m not.

I’m simply human.

A heart can be content

and still remember

what tenderness felt like.

So I will continue

walking this road alone,

finding joy in my own footsteps,

finding peace in my own soul.

And if love never finds me again,

I will still live

a beautiful life.

But if I ever feel

the warmth of gentle hands,

the softness of slow kisses,

and the comfort of a heart

choosing mine once more…

I know I would smile,

close my eyes,

and remember

that some things

are never forgotten

like the feeling

of being held.

Won't be about who is wrong, who is right

Like fireflies, emanating the light

Just you and I, universally tied

There's truth for those if they want to hear

Somewhere out in the atmosphere

To survive gotta persevere

'Cause to fly, gotta have no fear

First they love you, like oh it's just you and

Then they bait you and try to change you

You can push through it, stay the same you and

Never let them bring you down (We do)

Remember there's only one you (Oh)

There's a God up above you (You)

You can soar above the hurt when it taunts you

Float like a hummingbird if you want to

There's a better color that reflects the love you have inside

And you will discover there is solace though you're terrified

And I promise there is truth for those who really want to hear

If you wanna touch the sky and fly, you've got to have no fear

First they love you, and then they judge you and

Try and chain you, and then they drain you

You can push through it, stay the same you and

Never let them bring you down (We do)

Remember there's only one you (Ooh)

There's a God up above you (True)

You can soar above the hurt when it taunts you

Float like a hummingbird if you want to

Let love be your runway, there is a higher place

Just embrace that feeling when you're rising

And your face is kissing the horizon

And if they count you out

Let go and watch you drown

Just shake off those demons that you're fighting

Win the race, keep kissing the horizon

Runway, yeah yeah

Runway, yeah yeah yeah

Just shake off those demons that you're fighting

Win the race, let love be your runway

The way it feels to fly…

Runway - Mariah Carey

You’re gone,

and yet I still write about you.

I still think about you.

I still wonder

if you ever think about me.

A year and six months

have passed

since you walked away,

and somehow,

I’m still here

still learning

how to carry the weight

of a goodbye

I never wanted.

Some nights,

the healing hurts

more than others.

Tonight is one of those nights.

I know I shouldn’t reach for you,

though every part of me

wants to send a message,

just to ask,

“How have you been?”

But you were the one who walked away.

So I stay silent.

Instead,

I leave my words here,

where you’ll never read them,

where they can’t disturb your peace,

but somehow

they quiet the storm inside mine.

It’s easier

to pour my heart into these pages

than to let the memories

slowly consume my thoughts.

I miss you.

I miss us.

You used to drive me crazy

sometimes just a little,

sometimes more than I’d ever admit.

Funny how

those are the moments

I smile at now.

Wherever you are,

I hope you’re happy.

I hope life has been gentle with you.

I hope you’ve found

the kind of love

you always dreamed of.

I hope your family is well.

We hurt each other.

There is no denying that.

But somewhere along this road,

I found forgiveness.

I don’t regret loving you.

I don’t speak badly of you.

I don’t throw your name around

out of anger

or bitterness.

Truthfully,

I don’t mention your name at all.

Some loves

are too sacred

to be spoken carelessly.

What we had

was beautiful.

It was real.

It simply wasn’t forever.

I wish it had been.

But I suppose

our story was never written

to reach the ending

I imagined.

So let me say

the words

I’ve carried for far too long.

I’m sorry

for the ways I wasn’t enough.

I’m sorry

I couldn’t become

the person

you needed me to be.

I’m sorry

for the hurt I caused.

I’m sorry

for every piece of pain

my love left behind.

And despite everything…

Thank you.

For the memories.

For the laughter.

For the love

that changed me.

You’ll probably never know

how often

I still think of you.

But I hope,

wherever life has taken you,

it has finally given you

the happiness

we couldn’t find together.

I still think about you,

and no matter how hard I try,

I can’t seem to quiet your name

inside my mind.

Maybe that’s because

you can’t simply get over

seven years of loving someone

as if they never existed.

Love doesn’t leave that easily.

It takes time,

and time feels painfully slow.

What I hate most

is this part of healing

the part where you live

in every corner of my thoughts.

I find myself returning

to the day you walked away,

reliving every moment,

every word,

every silence,

as though replaying it enough times

might somehow change the ending.

You’re gone.

And somehow,

even with my heart in pieces,

I still miss you.

I miss your voice.

I miss your presence.

I miss the version of us

that I thought would last forever.

Sometimes I wonder

what life would look like now

if that day had gone differently.

Would we still be laughing together?

Still building a future?

Still calling each other home?

But those answers

belong to a life

that no longer exists.

So I stepped away.

Left social media behind.

Went missing for a while,

hoping the silence

would help me heal.

And all I have now

are these words,

a place to pour out

the weight of my thoughts,

the ache of my feelings,

the pieces of a heart

still learning how to let go.

Yet every road I take

seems to lead me back

to the same heartbreak,

the same memories,

the same longing.

And I keep asking myself

Why,

after all this time,

can’t I get you out of my thoughts?

Maybe because

for seven years

you weren’t just someone I loved.

You were part of my everyday,

part of my future,

part of the person I became.

And learning to live without you

isn’t forgetting you

it’s learning how to carry the loss

without letting it carry me.

I choose a life that’s mine alone,

a quiet world I’ve come to know,

where peace sits gently in the corners

and healing finds room to grow.

I had a love I thought would stay,

a love I believed was mine to keep,

but somewhere along the road they left,

and their goodbye cut far too deep.

I’ll never love another soul

quite the way I loved them then;

some loves leave marks upon the heart

that time can’t fully mend.

Yet I do not live in bitterness,

nor carry anger in my hands.

Instead, I hold a grateful heart

for a love that once was mine.

Because before them, I never knew

a love like that could exist for me;

I only dreamed of something so beautiful,

never believing I’d one day see.

And though it wasn’t mine forever,

I’m thankful for the time we shared,

for every moment, every memory,

for knowing that kind of love was there.

So here’s to living, moving forward,

to finding joy beneath open skies.

I’m not giving up on love entirely

I’m simply no longer chasing what might die.

For now, I choose myself and peace,

a life unburdened by fear and pain.

If love should find me someday, it will,

but I won’t force my heart through that storm again.

And if I walk this road alone,

I’ll do so with gratitude, not regret,

because I once held the love I’d always dreamed of

and that’s something I’ll never forget.

I sat with my thoughts today

and wondered if maybe

I am meant to walk this life alone.

And strangely,

that thought no longer scares me.

Of course,

it would be nice to have someone beside me

someone whose hand fits perfectly in mine,

someone to hold,

someone who loves me

and is loved in return.

But perhaps that isn’t the chapter

I’m meant to be living right now.

A year and six months alone

has taught me something unexpected:

peace.

Not every day is easy.

There are still moments

when I long for a hand to hold,

a shoulder to lean against,

someone to curl into

after a long day.

But in the quiet,

I found healing.

I found room to breathe,

room to reflect,

room to become someone new.

The person I was

used to hide behind insecurities,

afraid of being seen,

afraid of taking up space.

Now I wear the shorts

I once convinced myself I couldn’t.

Now I step into the world

with a little more confidence,

a little more courage,

a little more of myself.

I’ve changed in ways

I never thought possible,

and for the first time

I’m excited to see

who I’ll become next.

Losing you

was one of the hardest things

I’ve ever endured.

It broke me,

shook me,

left me standing among pieces

I didn’t know how to put back together.

But somewhere in that heartbreak,

while I was mourning us,

I found me.

And while losing you

has been painful,

finding myself

has been beautiful.

I used to be afraid of so many things.

Now I am learning

that courage isn’t the absence of fear

it’s choosing to live anyway.

And for the first time in a long time,

I am excited

for the life that still awaits me.

We had our differences,

our storms,

our days when everything felt heavy,

but I never believed

they would be the reason

we’d lose each other.

I always thought

we would find a way back,

that whatever stood between us

could be worked through

if we held on long enough.

But now we’re here

a story that ended

when I was still hoping

for another chapter.

And I’m still trying

to learn how to live

without you.

What I felt for you was real.

I gave you my heart

without keeping pieces for myself.

I tried to be there,

to understand,

to love you the best way I knew how.

And if my best

wasn’t always enough,

I’m sorry.

You often felt

like you were competing

with someone else,

but the truth is

no one ever came close to you.

The things I wanted to do for you,

the love I wanted to give,

I gave freely.

Even when we were struggling,

even when the ground beneath us shook,

I never held my love back.

There were moments

I wanted to walk away,

moments when staying hurt,

but I stayed.

Because that’s how much

I loved you.

That’s how much

I believed in us.

So yes,

it hurts that we ended.

It hurts knowing

all the dreams we built together

became memories instead.

But despite the heartbreak,

despite everything we’ve lost,

I still wish you happiness.

I still hope life is kind to you.

And wherever your path leads,

I hope you find

all the love,

peace,

and joy

I once wanted

to spend a lifetime

giving to you.

Probably ain't gettin' back together

But that don't mean that I can't wish you better

We ain't good good, but we still good

I realize that I can't be your lover

Let's just keep it honest with each other

I'll be happy for you when you find another

We ain't good good, but we still good

Right one, right place, wrong time

Can't say we didn't try

But you always been a real one

Even though we ain't together

It was real love, and baby, it's still love

Right one, right place, wrong time

Can't say we didn't try

All good things come to an end

So let's just learn the lessons and find lovin' again

Good Good - Usher

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby please

'Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough?

Who's going to talk to me on

The phone 'til the sun comes up?

Who's going to take your place?

There ain't nobody better

Oh, baby baby, we belong together

I can't sleep at night, when you're on my mind

Bobby Womack's on the radio

Saying to me, "If you think you're lonely now"

Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep)

I gotta change the station

So I turn the dial trying to catch a break

And then I hear Babyface

I only think of you

And it's breaking my heart

I'm trying to keep it together but I'm falling apart

We Belong Together - Mariah Carey

I can’t wait to meet you

to hear your voice

for the very first time,

to finally look into the eyes

I’ve spent so long imagining.

I wonder what they’ll look like,

those eyes that will become

my favorite place in the world

a place I’ll get lost in

every time they meet mine,

a place where love will quietly grow

without me even noticing.

And your voice

I imagine it becoming

the sound of my peace,

the comfort I reach for

at the end of difficult days,

the melody that makes

everything feel a little softer.

Sometimes I picture us

lying side by side,

my head resting against your shoulder,

the world finally quiet around us.

The gentle warmth of your presence,

the easy conversation,

the feeling of belonging

without having to say a word.

I imagine falling asleep

to the sound of your voice,

feeling safe,

feeling home,

and waking to a whispered

“good morning”

carried gently through the dawn.

Maybe my heart has read

too many romance novels,

watched too many movies,

and built entire worlds from hope.

But if love like that exists,

if moments like that are waiting,

then I look forward to them.

And someday,

maybe,

I’ll finally meet you. ❤️

Dreaming of you is a strange kind of pain.

It breaks me apart,

yet somehow it comforts me too.

Because in those quiet hours,

when my eyes finally close,

you still exist in my world.

Not beside me,

not in the way I once wished,

but in the place where you never truly left

my dreams.

There, we are still us.

Our story never ended.

The chapters keep turning,

the conversations continue,

and for a little while

love is allowed to live again.

I don’t know if that’s healing me

or hurting me even more.

Maybe it’s both.

Maybe that’s what grief becomes

finding comfort

in the very thing that wounds you.

Either way,

this is the life I have now.

Learning how to keep moving forward

while carrying memories of your existence,

of your laughter,

of your love,

of everything we once were.

And though this endless loop

often leaves me aching,

it has taught me things too.

It forced me to look at myself,

to see what I couldn’t see before.

It opened my eyes

where they were once closed.

It showed me truths

I spent too long avoiding.

I don’t know if I’ll ever love again.

Maybe I will.

Maybe I won’t.

The future remains unwritten.

But what I know for certain

is that I loved you

with everything I had.

With every piece of my heart,

every hope,

every dream.

And whether that’s a blessing

or a burden now,

I cannot say.

But one thing remains true:

I may love again someday,

yet I will never love

the way I loved you.

Because some loves arrive only once,

leave their mark forever,

and change the shape of a heart

long after they’re gone.