Drowning in moonlight, strangled by my own bra.

studying history is like. here's to another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be. thank you women who fight for abortion and contraception and independance from men for another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be

The internet is a device which can be used to contact lesbians

sorry for harping on this one so much but also its hard not to be mad about it because you'll notice my take here isn't "abandon and hate neil gaimans work forever, burn your copies of good omens" its "don't participate in public celebration of his work until some semblance of restitution for the victims and consequences for his actions has occurred" but even that is too high of a bar for the average tumblr slash fan to clear.

the best episodes of taskmaster are ones that make me have to google greg davies bisexual just to see if anything's changed since the last time i googled greg davies bisexual

what if on Taskmaster one of the contestants died in the middle of filming a task but after doing enough of the task for it to be deemed complete so since there was nothing in the rules to say you had to be alive throughout they allowed it. & then all the other contestants bombed so badly that the dead person won the task and in the studio Greg was there like 'wow you all managed to do worse than Christine and she was dead for most of it'

please do not look up to me. I am 1 inch tall. I'm down here. if you look up you won't see me

I REALLY LIKE THIS ART THIS IS SO CUTE I'M BEING HELD UP

i think "turning into a pumpkin" is my new favorite way to articulate the state of things when I am at a function and very overstimulated and it feels like my brain is melting. it's like no i can't be a person anymore i have to leave i'm turning into the pumpkin. the time is up yeah i gotta go. yeah see u later. pumpkin time.

when people defend the “Cis white guy is default” thing like “He’s meant to be an everyman we can all relate to and project on!” kindly remind them the largest ethnic group in the WORLD is Han Chinese and the highest gender percentage fluctuates so if you want an ACTUAL  “default” you want a 40 year old chinese person whose gender changes from year to year.  

#give us the middle-aged gender fluid Chinese protagonist that we can all relate to and project on (via @mr-and-mr-pavus)

I know this is kind of a hot take but I think creating a religious ethnostate is bad

I actually think it is still bad even if it is a religious ethnostate for a highly oppressed ethnicity and religion. I just don’t think it’s a good idea

@space-parasite maybe we should finish watching Galavant one of these days

Could it be more queer?

(To my personal assistant) Increase the sea salted wolverine’s budget