Guten Tag Besties

CABO VERDE 👑👑👑👑👑

I wish more modern problems could be solved by going on quests. “Going to the grocery store is it’s own kind of quest” fuck off, I want to end global warming by throwing a magic wand into a volcano

More problems need to be solvable by sending Ryan Gosling into space

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

hello, fellow apes

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

it’s so funny how ai got through on marc with no real pushback and pulled a gap but the second pedro started trying to do the same marc’s teammate killer instinct kicked in and he said man fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk you specifically

my beautiful mutuals and many other enlightened minds have discussed the possibilities for tension between rocky and adrian re: gracerocky codependency, but ever since that interview with james ortiz i have been plagued with a vision of like. rocky returning to erid as the sole survivor of what, while highly dangerous, was never meant to be a suicide mission... adrian having other family (i was thinking hatchmate) on the blip-a crew as well alongside rocky, and their relief at rocky's safe return getting swept up in their grief. all the families of the other survivors. his best friend is starving in 2 months. it's touchdown day on erid and rocky's "it should've been me" stocks have never been higher

similarly to how you should never trust gamers with a nonbinary character i feel like you can also never trust a fandom with an aroace character. whether it's explicitly canon or implied it just ends up the same

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while