‪‪❤︎‬ married 💍 ‪‪❤︎‬

imagine a goat with a hat

so basically i was reminded of my absolute obsession with time to the point that i count the amount of time it takes me to do anything and everything - today i was focusing on the time it takes me to be in and out of the washroom when im getting ready. the answer is 7 minutes. i get to work and am ready to have a good time. all is well until i am told i did something slightly wrong. i feel weird and bad and immediately start feeling an annoying rage in my soul. ive been attempting to be close to my coworkers over the couple months ive been here and its been okay but a girl who has been here for less time pulled in like 5 people including a manager who has been a little tight with me recently. i also think this girl is really sweet but i’m directed to do somethi g else far away from everyone else. im fine with this until i get back and theyre all laughing and i realize that all the things i did to try and come across as likeable did nothing and im using them wrong. i tried to lightly complain to a coworker because that’s one way to connect to others - i realized belatedly it was y uncomfortable. i screwed up my scripts and got upset. i’m not sure where i stand with anyone because i’m not sure how to count my friend points. i know i have some points with some people but i also know ive messed up and should subtract a few in various spots. my whole brain is numbers and im tired and forgot how to do the emotions math. im confused.